At What Level Of Accountability Are You Operating At?

[Razard86]

I've noticed a lot of people complain about how the ignore function works. They complain about how some people's posts can show up in quotes and that the person can still reply to your posts etc. Now I haven't completely tested all the in and out's of the ignore function so someone else can comment on how it works. But to me it is sufficient. Why? Because if your normal replies are blocked....its fine. Also....I have seen some complain that they maybe tempted out of curiosity to maybe look at a comment?

So I have a question for the people who are saying this. There is no judgment here just a question. Are you really going to blame the block system for you choosing to show a person's post you blocked? I refer to the title of this thread. At what level of accountability are you operating at? So its the ignore function that needs to be held accountable? Could you just choose to not show their post? But if you do choose to do it, you admit that you made that decision and no blame the ignore post as the problem?

Can you please see....the underlying issue here? Your issue with the ignore function not being sufficient....is really a complain against yourself and you are blaming the ignore function for it. I personally find the function adequate. It meets the general use that it is there for. Do I sometimes get curious and click show post? Yes, and I do so with full knowledge that I CHOSE to do it and if I don't like what I read its on me!!! Its actually pretty good at showing you in real-time accountability....and yet I am seeing more run from this. Come on...if you are given an option to ignore...and you violate it....how is it the fault of the option giving mechanism?

Also when someone quotes them....you can just scroll past it you DON'T HAVE TO READ IT. You see? Can we please take some accountability? Why is it okay to ask for the people you block to be held accountable for what they do....but you cannot hold yourself accountable for what you do? Do you see the game? Others should be accountable, and the ignore function and those I ignore are at fault, but me I am not at fault? 

This isn't judgment....its a pointer....could the ignore function be more robust? It could...but in the meantime...can we just CHOOSE to scroll past, and if we CHOOSE to read....not blame the ignore function? PRETTY PLEASE?

[amanen]

The ignore function of your mind is the best one, they're just online forum posts

[Razard86]

37 minutes ago, amanen said:

The ignore function of your mind is the best one, they're just online forum posts

LOL....of course....can't ignore that....but the simplicity of that is lost....besides....the biggest complain so far I been receiving....is communicating the way you just did...there is a desire for more grounded relative posts.

[integral]

3 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Can you please see....the underlying issue here? Your issue with the ignore function not being sufficient....is really a complain against yourself and you are blaming the ignore function for it.

Taking advantage of the primitive dopamine system of the brain is the driving force of most businesses and UI design. If we place a mc-burder in front of your desk and told you to leave it there and dont eat it "its unhealthy" and everyday of your life when you sit at your computer you have to see and smell that delicious burger, inevitably you'll eat it.

Forming effective habits is not about willpower but about setting your self up for success. Will-power is a unholistic paradigm that tries to solve a problem using only 1 dimension intrinsic motivation.

Setting up external factors for success is another dimension. The more dimensions we use the more likely we are to succeed at a goal and a more holistic an approach is composed/synthesized.

The block system is in my opinion flawed from a UX design perspective. 

Edited November 28, 2022 by integral

[Razard86]

32 minutes ago, integral said:

Taking advantage of the primitive dopamine system of the brain is the driving force of most businesses and UI design. If we place a mc-burder in front of your desk and told you to leave it there and dont eat it "its unhealthy" and everyday of your life when you sit at your computer you have to see and smell that delicious burger, inevitably you'll eat it.

Forming effective habits is not about willpower but about setting your self up for success. Will-power is a unholistic paradigm that tries to solve a problem using only 1 dimension intrinsic motivation.

Setting up external factors for success is another dimension. The more dimensions we use the more likely we are to succeed at a goal and a more holistic an approach is composed/synthesized.

The block system is in my opinion flawed from a UX design perspective. 

That's definitely a logical perspective. But one rooted in the whole karma, materialistic design process. Since this is a Spirituality Thread the focus is on transcendence of that, I'm asking very little here. I'm not even asking for anything radical, its no different than somebody admitting yes I opened the door, or yes I opened the window even though I knew it was cold outside and I don't like the cold. Do I blame the outside for being cold and knowing I hate the cold?

Or do I keep it shut, and if I do open it admit well I did open it knowing it would be cold. That is all that is being communicated here. 

[Tyler Robinson]

This is an excellent post. I agree. I see a lot of people calling for my ban on the forum. I'm like what? Don't you have an ignore option. Like block me if you don't like me instead of wanting me banned. I have 24 people on my ignore list and I usually never take it off. That is I never look at their comment. 

Now I find it very silly when people complain about  how some people's posts can show up in quotes and that the person can still reply to your posts. Like you said. I'm thinking - are these people that intolerant that some quoted stuff is getting them so triggered and frustrated? They want to completely obliterate a person's presence. If you feel so annoyed by someone's presence, maybe time to investigate your own mind on aspects that you hate so much. 

My question to these people is — if you have an annoying neighbor in your area don't you tolerate them if they're noisy or just creating drama etc. Do you just expect them to die? Do you just expect them to disappear from the neighborhood? And if you're that intolerant, what does it say about your spiritual growth? I just don't get it. Do you go around murdering people you don't like in real life? So if you're sitting in a bus, and someone is constantly sneezing or being loud, do you just jump out of the bus or forbid that person from traveling again? If these luxuries aren't afforded to you in the real world, why would you be given these luxuries online?

And if you think that social media blocking is much more useful, then why can't you just stay on social media, why come here just to bitch about others?

The ignore option is pretty good. The only complaint I have is that if someone is making personal comments, spreading rumors, writing lies about you, it becomes a concern and you can no longer ignore that person because nobody wants any false rumor spreading around so you're inclined to remove ignore and read the comment out of curiosity and fear. This needs to be dealt with. 

I wish there was a notification system that everytime you ignore a person, they are informed of it and it automatically restricts them from quoting, mentioning the person who has ignored them and informs them every time that said person has ignored before they type their name and if they still type their name then they should be restricted from positing or auto banned. Since they already know that person doesn't want to talk to them 

The only time I am tempted to take off ignore is when I know the user will be posting some personal offensive crap about me. Then it's hard to ignore. 

I think the forum should have a strict system about personal commenting. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

@DefinitelyNotARobot it's the other way around. It's people who like to engage my attention the most. Not a day goes by when someone doesn't want to talk to me. I simply reply to them out of sincerity. Some things trigger me so I speak up. But I'm a normally friendly person. I'm just too expressive and I don't hold anything back. But I'm never intentionally offensive to anyone. I don't even act cold. I'm always ready for debates and discussions. It's just my hyper expressive personality that makes me look dramatic. Because most people here aren't on my level of emotional expression, I'm like a hyper curious child and I like to spark discussions but I am not looking for a fight. When I challenge people it's simply out of curiosity. 

If you can't handle me, you certainly can't handle children in your life. It's like that. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

@DefinitelyNotARobot if I went silent, people will miss me and they usually do. It's comical to me that they keep expecting me to jump up when I'm lying down low. Haha. Like someone will intentionally draw me into a discussion when I've clearly shown that I'm not too keen on continuing a debate or conversation. 

They will keep mentioning me even after I'm long gone. This happens in real life too. When I meet people they simply can't leave me, they just want me around, people have made me sit just to have a chat with me even if I was getting late. It's that bad. It kinda makes me feel overwhelmed with attention I don't need. But I guess these people are bored and they kinda like me, it takes away their boredom. 

You didn't reply to anyone on this thread but you replied to me. See? 

I automatically get attention without trying. I didn't even say anything dramatic in my post, simple comment, commenting just like others. 

It's my vibe, I have high energy, it attracts people because they have low energy. Talking to me gives them dopamine. 

 

Edited November 28, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

4 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

@Tyler Robinson That's the problem. You can't hold it back. It just draws you in. You're like a moth that flies into a lamp, gets hurt, and blames the lamp for being too hot. Personally I don't have anyone on my ignore list. I just don't engage with people I don't like, unless they post something that interests me. If they're being rude I just move on with my day. That's me. You're obviously a different person and I'm not telling you to be just like me, which would be boring, but I'm giving you an alternative perspective to yours, which is that you don't have to engage with these people. You don't have to read their posts. You don't have to let them get to you. You could do it differently, just like thousands of others on this forum don't seem to have a problem with it. It's all a choice. It's YOUR choice. You can choose to take control back from the people who keep harassing you, by not reading their posts. That's it. That's the worst you can do to them. It's to not give them attention. Now what @Razard86 was getting at is that you can either a.) block people, or b.) train your own mind to be able to ignore them out of its own power!

I've struggled with addiction in the past and I can tell you that forcing your problems to go away through external means (for example: I used to give my computer to my mother when I felt like I was playing too many video games), can help, but most of the time its just a way to ignore the root problems of your addiction. The most powerful solution is this:

 

 

1 minute ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

Because you seem to struggle with this. You're right in that you have a very "loud" personality. People notice you. That's why it's even MORE important to learn how to deal with these things yourself.

You seem to make good points. There's always this fear that makes me respond to them. The fear of being disliked or the fear of being banned if I don't respond, the fear of being perceived the wrong way, the fear of losing reputation because of the false rumors that sends me into an overdrive and I feel like fighting back hard. You're right. It's just online forum posts but because we communicate in a real way, it feels very real like it's happening in my bedroom. But it's not real, it's just online. 

Hmm.. I think I really need to take your advice and just treat it as online bullshit. And not take it too seriously. I take it seriously out of fear that triggers my fight or flight response. And then I panic. 

Thank you. I was desperately looking for a solution. And I subconsciously attracted your solution. I spent the whole day thinking about this problem with no insight to guide me. 

 

You really helped me see it differently. Thank you. I'll implement this. Thank you so much. 

 

[Razard86]

3 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

Very true! I love me some drama from time to time, it can be fun, but it can also become an addiction. I think some people just can't help themselves. I think a little drama is okay, but you have to accept that you are taking part in it. It's a cooperative effort. It's funny to me when people crave drama, get what they want, and then blame others for it! It's a very sneaky way to keep doing what you're doing without having to change your behavior. Because if it's always an-other that is creating your problems, then there is simply nothing you can do about it! And thus the game continues.

I can catch myself doing the same thing every now and then. It's beautiful how much you can learn about yourself from watching others and vic versa.

YESSS!!! I love this reply!!!! Keep it up!!! Keep observing!!! I love when people are able to observe and learn more about themselves. Obviously I would like for people to use it for self-development but if they don't who cares!!! I just want people to raise in awareness, that alone will start the process anyway.

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

You really helped me see it differently. Thank you. I'll implement this. Thank you so much. 

 

^^^ Amazing!! Just take it one day at a time. No judgments on yourself or others and if you judge them or yourself don't judge the judgment! You got this!

[thisintegrated]

3 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

@Tyler Robinson I don't mean to be rude, but you're one of the people on the forum who engage in drama the most. I think this is something you should REALLY really contemplate deeply, because you seem to have a problem with this. There also seems to be a lot of projecting in your post (I'm not saying that as a judgement, I'm basically doing the same thing right now). I hope you find a healthy way to deal with drama.

100% agree.  Just ignore/block them, like I did.  Trolls feed off attention.  Nothing good will come off interacting with them.

[ValiantSalvatore]

8 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Very true! I love me some drama from time to time, it can be fun, but it can also become an addiction. I think some people just can't help themselves. I think a little drama is okay, but you have to accept that you are taking part in it. It's a cooperative effort. It's funny to me when people crave drama, get what they want, and then blame others for it! It's a very sneaky way to keep doing what you're doing without having to change your behavior. Because if it's always an-other that is creating your problems, then there is simply nothing you can do about it! And thus the game continues.

I can catch myself doing the same thing every now and then. It's beautiful how much you can learn about yourself from watching others and vic versa.

That is a nice perspective, dopamine also from the newest Huberman Lab is the happy molecule, so in a way these apps can give you something if you are not coming from a super-holistic place, as most are quiet sanctimonious about this aspect to beginn with. Most don't even share their drama to learn from it to strive for the best. I enjoy drama from time to time, it makes live intersting and spicy, I can be a drama king in that sense and I would cause more drama for fun, I frankly love it. Most are not conscious enough. 

To give an example I've been to a story telling work shop with two gifted americans who went to a gifted drama school program, seen that kind of trained and deliberate conscious drama changing into animal figures/characters instantly like a super-actor was amazing. Drama can also simply be a discussion, I appreciate the ignore function as not every input has as much value as perceived and can be blocked. I would not want to have stage red hells angel members as my neigbours for example, as this would threatn my survival. The ignore function is good imo, I did not even know it exists. 

I dunno why this would be a bad UX design , I'd say it's a mandatory feature of every UI/UX to block certain features clearly...I did not even know it was here, yet this is a science for itself. I certainly would appreciate to stop certain cycles and feedback loops, that cause damage in that sense a block and ignore function, certainly is a high lvl UI/UX desgin from a stage yellow perspective as you can stop individually, the excessive self-interest of others. This is more or less obvious. 

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Razard86 said:

^^^ Amazing!! Just take it one day at a time. No judgments on yourself or others and if you judge them or yourself don't judge the judgment! You got this!

I mean literally the whole forum is asking for my ban. It's hard to keep myself normal when my mother triggers me at home, my relatives always send me mean comments because they hate my mom, I have literally no friends because most people in my building are elderly couples and when I come online, there's always a lot of negativity thrown at me because I get emotional quickly, I mean I had to dump my emotions somewhere after all, it's hard because my family is kinda harsh and doesn't allow any kind of communication or expression at home and they quickly turn it into yelling and screaming instead of trying to understand first, so it's like I'm literally talking to walls at home. I suck at socializing and whoever I make friends with only talk for some days and forget me later. So yeah the online space is where I feel comfortable feeling emotional. So outs tough that people don't understand it but make it look like I'm craving attention or doing something on purpose but don't realize that people come from dysfunctional homes and backgrounds are going to dump their emotions online, it's only natural that they will be seeking an outlet online through excessive posting or whatever.

This reminds me of children at school who throw tantrums, steal others lunch, scream loudly, get into fights, nag others, tear clothes and get disobedient and disruptive and everyone blames them and calls them ugly or notorious attention seekers but people don't try to look into their home environment. These kids act like that because they get ignored or beaten at home, their parents don't love them and don't allow them to bond or experience happiness and give them constant stress and discomfort and these children then begin to show impact of such treatment by acting angry or disruptive and get very reactive. 

This also reminds of cats who constantly scratch their owners, roar loudly, hiss and constantly act aggressive and attack but it's because they either have an underlying health problem or their owners have constantly mistreated them so they act aggressive. But in a healthy environment the same cats will be behaving much better and pleasant and won't feel the need to be angry or fight back. 

It's hard when everything you do is misjudged and taken to be something it's not. 

 

[Razard86]

7 hours ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

That is a nice perspective, dopamine also from the newest Huberman Lab is the happy molecule, so in a way these apps can give you something if you are not coming from a super-holistic place, as most are quiet sanctimonious about this aspect to beginn with. Most don't even share their drama to learn from it to strive for the best. I enjoy drama from time to time, it makes live intersting and spicy, I can be a drama king in that sense and I would cause more drama for fun, I frankly love it. Most are not conscious enough. 

To give an example I've been to a story telling work shop with two gifted americans who went to a gifted drama school program, seen that kind of trained and deliberate conscious drama changing into animal figures/characters instantly like a super-actor was amazing. Drama can also simply be a discussion, I appreciate the ignore function as not every input has as much value as perceived and can be blocked. I would not want to have stage red hells angel members as my neigbours for example, as this would threatn my survival. The ignore function is good imo, I did not even know it exists. 

I dunno why this would be a bad UX design , I'd say it's a mandatory feature of every UI/UX to block certain features clearly...I did not even know it was here, yet this is a science for itself. I certainly would appreciate to stop certain cycles and feedback loops, that cause damage in that sense a block and ignore function, certainly is a high lvl UI/UX desgin from a stage yellow perspective as you can stop individually, the excessive self-interest of others. This is more or less obvious. 

Yoooo that quote wasn't my quote lol....

[ValiantSalvatore]

2 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Yoooo that quote wasn't my quote lol....

What does that even mean ?

[Razard86]

3 hours ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

What does that even mean ?

Go back and read your comment. You quoted DefinitelyAR and put it as my quote.

[ValiantSalvatore]

10 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Go back and read your comment. You quoted DefinitelyAR and put it as my quote.

My bad was not intentional. Can't change it also. Wanted to share a opinion on UI/UX design and the ignore function and give an example about conscious drama, I mean the theater exists so does conscious drama and actors in that way. Anyway my two cents.

[JuliusCaesar]

@Razard86 This is an intriguing question, but I feel I shouldn't answer it as I'd be bragging about how great I am.

 

On 11/28/2022 at 8:05 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

I mean literally the whole forum is asking for my ban.

Lol, I don't want you banned, and I think there are quite a few others here that feel the same. Consider the possibility that you're more loved than you realize. That just because you may have a family treating you like shit, that other humans might actually care for you.

[Tyler Robinson]

2 hours ago, JuliusCaesar said:

@Razard86 This is an intriguing question, but I feel I shouldn't answer it as I'd be bragging about how great I am.

 

Lol, I don't want you banned, and I think there are quite a few others here that feel the same. Consider the possibility that you're more loved than you realize. That just because you may have a family treating you like shit, that other humans might actually care for you.

Thank you. This makes me feel cared for and made me feel better. Also today's my mom's birthday. So a positive day.