Women are poor judge of character

[eos_nyxia]

Realistically, if you have biases that you insist on protecting in a way that you get super attached to, and you get defensive about it... Congrats! You got emotions. Defensiveness is rooted in emotionality.

Just because it is latent does not mean that it doesn't exist, haha.

You make decisions based on such all the same.

[Gesundheit2]

@eos_nyxia I see what you're saying, and I agree with all of it. I would even dare say that many men are way more emotional than some women. I've also met some really cold and logical women, and some really irritatingly emotional men, at least on the surface. However, there is a part that you don't seem to be taking into account in your perspective.

The difference is that women, unlike men, act mainly based on emotion. The decision-making process for men is mostly a logical one with a clear goal in mind, while for women it's mostly aesthetic and socially aware, i.e. For guys, the new IPhone has a 13megapixel dual camera (my phone info are a bit outdated, but that's not the point), etc. For women, it's mostly just the pink color that matters.

My friend is a doctor, he told me that his girlfriend once made him a crafty thing of wooden tongue holders that doctors use. She thought that would impress him. He facepalmed and told me it's the silliest thing he'd ever seen.

[Intraplanetary]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Yes, of course, unconsciousness. Emotions tend to make one unconscious. Emotions are animalistic.

There is a huge spectrum of emotions. You yourself said that emotional mastery is more important than intelligence. Emotions are the key in growing spiritually. Love is emotion as much as understanding; and there is nothing more fundamental than love. 

What you said here contradicts everything you teach unless you are talking about people who are not aware of their emotions and get themselves trapped into dysfunctional relationships.

But emotions certainly don't turn you into an unconscious animal.

 

[Tyler Robinson]

1 hour ago, Intraplanetary said:

There is a huge spectrum of emotions. You yourself said that emotional mastery is more important than intelligence. Emotions are the key in growing spiritually. Love is emotion as much as understanding; and there is nothing more fundamental than love. 

What you said here contradicts everything you teach unless you are talking about people who are not aware of their emotions and get themselves trapped into dysfunctional relationships.

But emotions certainly don't turn you into an unconscious animal.

 

I like this post. 

[Tyler Robinson]

1 hour ago, Intraplanetary said:

people who are not aware of their emotions and get themselves trapped into dysfunctional relationships.

I actually did not quite understand this statement. 

 

[Intraplanetary]

20 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I actually did not quite understand this statement. 

 

I mean that the more I master my emotions the more I become aware and make wiser decisions in dating. I believe people with lower emotional mastery tend to get hurt or fooled. There is also a lot of trauma bond between people which can be mistaken for love and since most of us have issues since childhood there is a lot of it going on. A very feminine woman with high emotional intelligence and intuition is a wise one and I don't see how she is going to fall for an asshole. I think in the end, the success to long-term relationship boils down to a person's development and maturity level regardless the gender.

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Intraplanetary said:

I mean that the more I master my emotions the more I become aware and make wiser decisions in dating. I believe people with lower emotional mastery tend to get hurt or fooled. There is also a lot of trauma bond between people which can be mistaken for love and since most of us have issues since childhood there is a lot of it going on. A very feminine woman with high emotional intelligence and intuition is a wise one and I don't see how she is going to fall for an asshole. I think in the end, the success to long-term relationship boils down to a person's development and maturity level regardless the gender.

Yea but women have lesser development or maturity in comparison to men because they simply aren't exposed to that many situations as men are, men are generally the bread winners and they have to learn early on to make a living and go face the world around them. Men also do a lot of the approaching giving them a wide spectrum of both opportunities and experience to build from. However women just sit and wait because we aren't traditionally required to approach so we have little experience in terms of dating since we don't expose ourselves to the dating market as much as men do, as a consequence most women are ill prepared in the areas of social intelligence and our emotional growth only happens when we are hit by something since we aren't actively encouraged by either family or society to focus on emotional intelligence or awareness. When I was 16, there was no rulebook in school or at home no teaching from mother on how I should navigate through my emotions, I lived my life completely unaware like millions of women and not every woman is so gifted with such great intuition. In fact most aren't that's why such a huge pile up of women stuck in abusive relationships. 

 

[Intraplanetary]

10 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Yea but women have lesser development or maturity in comparison to men because they simply aren't exposed to that many situations as men are, men are generally the bread winners and they have to learn early on to make a living and go face the world around them. Men also do a lot of the approaching giving them a wide spectrum of both opportunities and experience to build from. However women just sit and wait because we aren't traditionally required to approach so we have little experience in terms of dating since we don't expose ourselves to the dating market as much as men do, as a consequence most women are ill prepared in the areas of social intelligence and our emotional growth only happens when we are hit by something since we aren't actively encouraged by either family or society to focus on emotional intelligence or awareness. When I was 16, there was no rulebook in school or at home no teaching from mother on how I should navigate through my emotions, I lived my life completely unaware like millions of women and not every woman is so gifted with such great intuition. In fact most aren't that's why such a huge pile up of women stuck in abusive relationships. 

 

Emotional intelligence and intuition are developed in solitude through practise and not by going around talking with people. Yes, a woman can sit work on herself and wait to be approached and it won't take her long to figure the guy out.

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Intraplanetary said:

Emotional intelligence and intuition are developed in solitude through practise and not by going around talking with people. Yes, a woman can sit work on herself and wait to be approached and it won't take her long to figure the guy out.

I disagree with this. I think emotional intelligence needs learning. Every learning comes from growth. This growth is generally facilitated by interactions in the real world, socializing, experiencing, going through shit etc. Life can never learned in solitude. 

[Intraplanetary]

Just now, Tyler Robinson said:

I disagree with this. I think emotional intelligence needs learning. Every learning comes from growth. This growth is generally facilitated by interactions in the real world, socializing, experiencing, going through shit etc. Life can never learned in solitude. 

You really need a lot of time alone to be able to go through your emotions. Other things just going to distract.

[Bad_anarchist]

This thread is so sad and just overall a huge WTF........

[Bad_anarchist]

@eos_nyxia 

3 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

There is something not right about this whole thread.... that does not serve the highest good.

I 100% feel the same way......

I do not understand this "Men are intelligent and women are emotional" thing either......... The most feminine women out there are super intelligent and articulate in their speaking. Being unable to control your emotions and being unable chose what partner is best for you is not "feminine". That is the result of poor self worth and emotional issues. A healthy human being, man or woman leads with their intelligence. Men are equally as dumb in choosing partners as women, it is just that when women chose the wrong partner the consequences are more visible. 

[Tyler Robinson]

8 minutes ago, Bad_anarchist said:

@eos_nyxia 

I 100% feel the same way......

I do not understand this "Men are intelligent and women are emotional" thing either......... The most feminine women out there are super intelligent and articulate in their speaking. Being unable to control your emotions and being unable chose what partner is best for you is not "feminine". That is the result of poor self worth and emotional issues. A healthy human being, man or woman leads with their intelligence. Men are equally as dumb in choosing partners as women, it is just that when women chose the wrong partner the consequences are more visible. 

 

Not trying to be sexist but pointing out obvious observed facts. Also not interested in derailing the thread because the thread was to find solutions and healing for females rather than a debate on intelligence so I would keep it short. 

How many women are interested in spirituality? Few. 

How many women are interested in science? Few. 

How many women are interested in gossiping about boyfriends? Too many? 

 

[Bad_anarchist]

Feminine Women don't end up with abusers, Women with low self worth end up with abusers. There is nothing sexy or feminine about having a shitty confidence and emotional problems. You not knowing what kind of partner is best for you is a problem that has nothing to do with what you have between your legs. Men chose shitty women all the time, it is just that the consequenses are not the same and not as visible. Feminine women lead with intelligence, they have their emotions under control and they don't chose shit guys because they actually have a sense of self worth. Also what is up with this "Women are careless" kinds of bs? Women are the ones saying no to men, not the other way around. Women are by default not as reckless as men are, you got that part completley wrong, it is the total opposite. 

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, Bad_anarchist said:

Feminine Women don't end up with abusers, Women with low self worth end up with abusers. There is nothing sexy or feminine about having a shitty confidence and emotional problems. You not knowing what kind of partner is best for you is a problem that has nothing to do with what you have between your legs. Men chose shitty women all the time, it is just that the consequenses are not the same and not as visible. Feminine women lead with intelligence, they have their emotions under control and they don't chose shit guys because they actually have a sense of self worth. Also what is up with this "Women are careless" kinds of bs? Women are the ones saying no to men, not the other way around. Women are by default not as reckless as men are, you got that part completley wrong, it is the total opposite. 

I welcome your opinion. But I'm not sure if I agree with your assessment. My experiences have always lead me to believe that women are quite fickle with their choices and date whoever ticks them in the moment. 

Maybe your experiences were different from what I have seen, I don't know but good for you if you made better choices or found better people.

[Byun Sean]

well if you become more conscious as a woman you should be able to be a better judge of your mates.

 

Self Love is key. If you love yourself enough, you would see through more scumbags and assholes and more importantly, you would just be more fulfilled on a daily basis regardless of the people in your life.

 

Thats why dating is probably the biggest waste of time to find a quality partner unless you've already developed yourself sufficiently. 

But hey, most people don't wanna wait and women also do have a biological clock so its a bit of a bind for sure.

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, Byun Sean said:

well if you become more conscious as a woman you should be able to be a better judge of your mates.

 

Self Love is key. If you love yourself enough, you would see through more scumbags and assholes and more importantly, you would just be more fulfilled on a daily basis regardless of the people in your life.

 

Thats why dating is probably the biggest waste of time to find a quality partner unless you've already developed yourself sufficiently. 

But hey, most people don't wanna wait and women also do have a biological clock so its a bit of a bind for sure.

Do you mean to say that being more emotional makes a woman less conscious? 

 

[Bad_anarchist]

@Tyler Robinson 

I see zero evidence that women are less intrested in spirituality, maybe you are hanging around in spiritual communities where men gather.  I know plenty of spiritual communies that are predomenently female. The first shamans where women, femininty is creation and wisdom, Women are the first teachers becuase us as women have a direct connection to life becuse we carry it. Also being intrested in science has nothing to do with if you lead with intelligence or not in your life, it is irrelevant. 

Studies also show that women are more picky with men, that is how natural selection works. So the idea that you have that men asses more is wrong. Men are just as likley to date shitty women as women are dating shitty men. 

If you wanna improve as a woman you need to start leading with intelligence and realize that femininity is not about being emotional, it is about being intuitive yes, but not emotionaly destructive. What you also need to do is to redefine your definiton of masculine and feminine radicly, becuase you have it all backwards and you are clearly not in touch with your feminine. You have to get rid of the idea that it is unfeminine to lead with intelligence, it is not and you need to go and seriously start studying womanhood and get a proper definiton of masculine and feminine. Look at different cultures and women in history etc. 

Your feminine power comes from your intelligence, tapping into your uniqe wisdom, as well as your charm and wit, not being an emotional wreck.  The reason why my expereince is different, is because I know my self worth, I lead with my intelligence and I don't surround myself with women who are self destructive . I didn't find better people at random, I attracted them to me by being my best self, the people in your life is a reflection of you. When you stop putting up with bullshit the bullshit will leave your life, that does not make me as a woman more masculine. Feminine women don't play the victim, they don't put up with bs, they walk away and set up boundries to conserve their energy to something more productive.

Women who end up in abusive relationships do so because they have low self worth, it is her excusing his behaviour and not setting boundries/walking away that allows him to continue. The red flags are always there but she ignores them, it is a self worth problem, not a femininity problem. A woman with self worth don't attract these men in the first place and if she does and start noticing some bullshit, she will simply walk away. If you belive you don't deserve better you won't get anything better, that is a fact. 

The most feminine women are some of the most intelligent and well articualted people on the planet.  What you are describing is called unresolved trauma and actually not real femininity. Feminine women chose their partners carefully, masculine women are the ones who don't do it. Women who act like you are describing are not in touch with their true feminine and let their masculine side take over to protect them from getting hurt, like they have been in the past.

 

Also touching on this point: 

Quote

But women take sex very seriously and start feeling awesome feelings for the guy they are sleeping with. This doesn't happen to prostitutes because they get used to treating men like customers.

The sexual meeting between a prostitute is radicly different from having a one night stand. First of all, many prositutes have regulars that she actually forms a bond with, many prostitues have clients that come to her for years on end.  Any sexworker knows that the emotinal connection is important, because that is what makes clients coming back and regulars are the ones she makes the most money off. When you have a one night stand you don't disscus with the person before hand what you should do during the sex act. But when you go to an escort you will go into detail about what it is that you want before hand and the escort will either decline you or accept you and set a price. There is a deeper connection in the meeting between the prostitute and a client, than a man and a woman having a one night stand becuase you basicly work as a therapist to these men. 

Edited November 28, 2022 by Bad_anarchist

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Bad_anarchist said:

@Tyler Robinson 

I see zero evidence that women are less intrested in spirituality, maybe you are hanging around in spiritual communities where men gather.  I know plenty of spiritual communies that are predomenently female. The first shamans where women, femininty is creation and wisdom, Women are the first teachers becuase us as women have a direct connection to life becuse we carry it. Also being intrested in science has nothing to do with if you lead with intelligence or not in your life, it is irrelevant. 

Studies also show that women are more picky with men, that is how natural selection works. So the idea that you have that men asses more is wrong. Men are just as likley to date shitty women as women are dating shitty men. 

If you wanna improve as a woman you need to start leading with intelligence and realize that femininity is not about being emotional, it is about being intuitive yes, but not emotionaly destructive. What you also need to do is to redefine your definiton of masculine and feminine radicly, becuase you have it all backwards and you are clearly not in touch with your feminine. You have to get rid of the idea that it is unfeminine to lead with intelligence, it is not and you need to go and seriously start studying womanhood and get a proper definiton of masculine and feminine. Look at different cultures and women in history etc. 

Your feminine power comes from your intelligence, tapping into your uniqe wisdom, as well as your charm and wit, not being an emotional wreck.  The reason why my expereince is different, is because I know my self worth, I lead with my intelligence and I don't surround myself with women who are self destructive . I didn't find better people at random, I attracted them to me by being my best self, the people in your life is a reflection of you. When you stop putting up with bullshit the bullshit will leave your life, that does not make me as a woman more masculine. Feminine women don't play the victim, they don't put up with bs, they walk away and set up boundries to conserve their energy to something more productive. Feminine women don't 

Women who end up in abusive relationships do so because they have low self worth, it is her excusing his behaviour and not setting boundries/walking away that allows him to continue. The red flags are always there but she ignores them, it is a self worth problem, not a femininity problem. A woman with self worth don't attract these men in the first place and if she does and start noticing some bullshit, she will simply walk away. If you belive you don't deserve better you won't get anything better, that is a fact. 

The most feminine women are some of the most intelligent and well articualted people on the planet.  What you are describing is called unresolved trauma and actually not real femininity. Feminine women chose their partners carefully, masculine women are the ones who don't do it. Women who act like you are describing are not in touch with their true feminine and let their masculine side take over to protect them from getting hurt, like they have been in the past.

 

Also touching on this point: 

The sexual meeting between a prostitute is radicly different from having a one night stand. First of all, many prositutes have regulars that she actually forms a bond with, many prostitues have clients that come to her for years on end.  Any sexworker knows that the emotinal connection is important, because that is what makes clients coming back and regulars are the ones she makes the most money off. When you have a one night stand you don't disscus with the person before hand what you should do during the sex act. But when you go to an escort you will go into detail about what it is that you want before hand and the escort will either decline you or accept you and set a price. There is a deeper connection in the meeting between the prostitute and a client, than a man and a woman having a one night stand becuase you basicly work as a therapist to these men. 

I don't want to keep endlessly arguing with you over the relative semantics of a premise. Let's assume your premise exists. My premise exists too. So we reach paradigm lock here. We both could be right with our different perspectives, case by case, reality by reality. 

What bolsters my perspective is that I'm not alone in viewing women this way - 

Look at this for example on the same thread - now this is not someone who has never dated women. 

I don't know what you want to say about this - 

Women being poor judges of male character is a very "women" issue.

The amount of women in abusive and toxic relationships is insane.

Guys are dumb about getting laid, but women fall in love with the biggest losers, assholes, narcisists, abusers, and scumbags.

 

I'll leave it to you. 

[Byun Sean]

2 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Do you mean to say that being more emotional makes a woman less conscious? 

 

No. Raising one’s consciousness is the same independent of gender.

your level of consciousness is your capacity to be aware of this moment right now.

women obviously don’t pick toxic men on purpose. They do so because they lack sense and/ or self worth.