Confused with Leo's advice for young men

[DreamCryX]

I've been following Actualized.org since October 2014 when I was a 15-year-old boy. Currently, I am a 24-year-old engineering student from Scandinavia and after my (mandatory) military training I've been focusing on implementing Leo's advice in the following areas:

- Developing mastery in life and through that impacting the world (life purpose + masculinity)

- Focusing on business, sales and marketing (for financial independence and other survival reasons)

- Improving nutrition and focusing on health, especially avoiding wheat, dairy, soy, corn, sugar and other artificial chemicals (I actually spend extra money on pasture raised eggs, which is not easy for a university student)

- Money management: learning how to not waste my money, learning how to invest my money and basic money management skills.

- Developing a strong work ethic (I managed to do this quite well in my teens, right now I have to focus on how to work SMARTER).

The mastery process includes the teachings in the university and deliberate practice (my field of mastery is industrial engineering). I learn Business, sales, marketing and other self-help fields mainly through books.

So, what is the issue here? Well, it's improving my dating skills and becoming better with girls. According to Leo, it takes 5000 approaches to get good with women or in other words 3-5 years. On top of that, it's going to be far more challenging (emotionally) than I can ever imagine, as Leo mentioned in his How To Get Laid videos. Obviously, my priority number one is my life purpose and building skills as well as offering value to the world as a 24-year-old male, but as Leo mentioned, I need "concrete strategies" for getting girls as a man and if I ignore this aspect of my life, the pain only gets worse. I am not a so-called hardcore newbie who doesn't know how to socialize. I am naturally extroverted and socializing with guys and unattractive girls is effortless for me. However, my game is not good at all and therefore I am unable to attract beautiful women.

My biggest fear right now is TIME. As I mentioned before, getting good with girls takes 3-5 years AND at the same time Leo is telling me and young people in general that we should have a "laser focus" in the fields of business, sales and marketing. In addition, I must develop mastery in life which also takes at least 5-10 years.   Doing pickup on Fri/Sat nights and using other days of the week for my studies and self-help isn’t going to be the solution here because Fri/Sat nights will heavily ruin my sleep cycle.

All in all, my question for you guys and Leo is that, HOW can I learn so many necessary things while the time is very limited? Leo started pickup at 26 but at that time he was financially independent and in a good position to learn game.

I'd be grateful for any kind of practical advice and sorry for my bad English.

 

 

[NoSelfSelf]

Dont do it, because you dont really want it, so it will ruin your approaches,thats how i started not doing it because i wanted to,but because i wanted to get over approach anxiety,but approach anxiety is worse because you dont really want it...

[no_name]

Don’t over think it, remember Leo was exceptionally socially inapt, and fat, and unattractive.

You don’t need 5000 approaches to get good with women, that’s retarded. His whole audience consists of men who are working minimum wage, never went to college, have absolutely nothing going for them, so to motivate them, he needs to make those ridiculous claims to get them off their ass and do something with their life that’s not just living in moms basement and playing video games.

Women are not some magical creatures, every woman is also a human, and has many similarities to men. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@no_name dont speak on something you will never taste in your life its really challenging and tough thing to start,keep doing and master...thats why hes finding excuses to not do it..

[no_name]

8 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@no_name dont speak on something you will never taste in your life its really challenging and tough thing to start,keep doing and master...thats why hes finding excuses to not do it..

Yes, I will never be able to know how complete social retardation works. My apologies.

[Leo Gura]

Good!

This should light a fire under your ass.

Life is short, don't waste a single day.

How do you do it? You stop screwing around, you get serious, and you make ever day count.

You must do impossible things to make your vision come true. Work twice as hard as everyone else.

Edited November 27, 2022 by Leo Gura

[aurum]

3 hours ago, DreamCryX said:

All in all, my question for you guys and Leo is that, HOW can I learn so many necessary things while the time is very limited?

Yeah  welcome to life.

The whole challenge is that you must be wise with how you invest your time. 

Practically speaking, you may not be able to spend 3-5 years hardcore improving your dating life AND at the same time growing your business like crazy.

Sometimes you just have to prioritize one area for a while to the detriment of others. Come back to it later.

Or, you may be able to do both.

It all depends on your goals, how far away from them you are, and what resources you have.

You say that you’re already naturally social, so honestly I don’t think you’ll need 3-5 years of everyday work to improve your dating situation. My guess is you could improve just going out on the weekends.

The key is just to figure out what is most important and then succeed or die trying.

[Space]

@DreamCryX It'll take years if you want to get extremely good at gaming. But is that really one of your goals? It's a great goal, don't get me wrong. 100% worthwhile. But if you're just looking for some relationship experience then you don't need to be doing crazy amounts of game every week.

[Hello from Russia]

Dude, 5k approaches is rather quick and it's only the beginning of it all

Later there is much more stuff in building a relationship department, so don't get overwhelmed by some silly 5k

[universe]

Of course you don't need 5k approaches. Otherwise women all over the world would be starving for guys.

It really depends on where you start. A typical student around your age has it much easier than a 40y.o. virgin who spend his entire life playing video games in his parents basement.

If you don't enjoy night clubs or it doesn't fit in your schedule fuck it.

Stay up early, get your work done and then join some social activities on your campus.

Do one approach a day and make sure to spend your time earned by not partying with socializing with other students. Preferably guys who are good with women and women.

[Emotionalmosquito]

How big a city you in? My town is barely big enough to do a quarter of bare minimum and I’m in no position to make enough money to move to a more target rich environment. I’d be in jail for repeated harassment long before I did anything close to 5k approaches 

Edited November 28, 2022 by Emotionalmosquito

[DreamCryX]

Thank you guys for your replies!

7 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

How big a city you in? My town is barely big enough to do a quarter of bare minimum and I’m in no position to make enough money to move to a more target rich environment. I’d be in jail for repeated harassment long before I did anything close to 5k approaches 

Around 650 000 people. It has a decent nightlife. You certainly can do 5k approaches and flirt in a responsible way without any accusations. I personally know a guy who has done thousands of approaches in my city and today he gets amazing results. Like I said, the issue here is that it is really hard to focus on learning game AND at the same time focusing on other crucial areas of life. To clarify:

- Becoming a master in your field takes at least 7-10 years of HIGH QUALITY work & effort (my priority number one in life).

- Understanding business, sales and marketing and implementing the principles of those fields efficently and succesfully also takes 5-10 years

And at the same time it is necessary to learn game. Of course if you value dating & relationships more than the categories listed above, you don't have the same problem as I do. Oh, mastering relationships also takes several years so good luck with that. Like Leo has been mentioning in his videos, running a game is the first phase (the attraction phase), then comes the relationship phase.

 

[Emotionalmosquito]

12 hours ago, DreamCryX said:

Like Leo has been mentioning in his videos, running a game is the first phase (the attraction phase), then comes the relationship phase.

Attraction phase is by far the hardest. It’s ridiculously complicated to learn all the different things to do and not do.

Relationship phase all you have to do is be a good communicator and make them feel loved.

[something_else]

On 27/11/2022 at 4:43 AM, DreamCryX said:

As I mentioned before, getting good with girls takes 3-5 years

Only if you are very socially inept.

If you are decently sociable you can get pretty decent results in a lot less time. All it really takes is for you to start being more sociable. Take advantage of university social opportunities while you are there, you won't ever get as great of an opportunity to meet lots of people ever again