I am living in a stage green hippy community AMA

[Raptorsin7]

On 11/24/2022 at 7:42 PM, Sincerity said:

Good for you! For the sake of experience and different perspective I would very gladly go myself.

Idk what to ask really. Anything you don't like there so far?

If you could write up some small report afterwards or notes on what you've learned I'd be happy to read it. 

I'm planning to visit more communities while I'm travelling through Europe for the next few months so I'll have more perspective.

One thing I'm longing for is a deep relationship with a women, but I haven't met anyone here that I'm strongly attracted too and click with. But that may be also due to me not being on the right place to be available for a relationship 

[Raptorsin7]

18 hours ago, spiritual memes said:

Has this experience changed your political views or views around masculinity?

Yeah, I'm much more open minded towards progressive values and politics, but I still have a sense the entire political system is broken and a shift to community living is where the solution is, not in large scale leftist governments.

Here I've dropped any sense of judgment towards gays, trans people etc, I see that everyone is just doing their best and I am no position to understand or dictate how other people ought to live.

The men here seem to be much more intune with their femininity, so that's something I'm hoping will rub off on me so I can become a more integrated person 

 

[Raptorsin7]

15 hours ago, EternalForest said:

How do you feel about those that are lone wolves now?

I think it limits your growth, especially if you've never fully integrated living with other people in a happy and healthy way. 

I am/was a lone wolf and I can see it's a largely a defense mechanism to avoid dealing with the uncomfortable reality of dealing intimately with people.

I think the path of myself as a lone wolf will be to visit communities and grow and then slowly find a place to integrate into long term so I can heal and thrive with other people 

[Raptorsin7]

15 hours ago, aurum said:

@Raptorsin7

What blindspots does the Actualized.org community have in comparison?

I think this forum has many people who have not integrated the values of hippies but because they have a lot of knowledge they think they are somehow beyond that stage of development.

I think part of it is due to being anonymous on the internet. But there's so much autism and emotional retardation in how people relate to each other here.

I think the biggest blindspot would be that many people would consider the average awareness of this community to be higher than that of a typical stage green eco community, when I think it's the opposite.

 

[spiritual memes]

 

1 hour ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Yeah, I'm much more open minded towards progressive values and politics, but I still have a sense the entire political system is broken and a shift to community living is where the solution is, not in large scale leftist governments.

Here I've dropped any sense of judgment towards gays, trans people etc, I see that everyone is just doing their best and I am no position to understand or dictate how other people ought to live.

The men here seem to be much more intune with their femininity, so that's something I'm hoping will rub off on me so I can become a more integrated person 

 

Looks like you've grown a lot! well done and good luck for the future!

[Matt23]

4 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I think this forum has many people who have not integrated the values of hippies but because they have a lot of knowledge they think they are somehow beyond that stage of development.

I think part of it is due to being anonymous on the internet. But there's so much autism and emotional retardation in how people relate to each other here.

I think the biggest blindspot would be that many people would consider the average awareness of this community to be higher than that of a typical stage green eco community, when I think it's the opposite.

 

I feel hints of accuracy or agreement here. 

For me, I know recently I've considered strongly that I'm on the spectrum.  

[aurum]

13 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I think this forum has many people who have not integrated the values of hippies but because they have a lot of knowledge they think they are somehow beyond that stage of development.

I think part of it is due to being anonymous on the internet. But there's so much autism and emotional retardation in how people relate to each other here.

I think the biggest blindspot would be that many people would consider the average awareness of this community to be higher than that of a typical stage green eco community, when I think it's the opposite.

 

I agree there is definitely is quite a bit of that. Or at least better relationship skills in a lot of Green communities. Relationships require their own study.

People critique Green a lot, but Green is relatively high up the developmental ladder. If you’re at Green, you’re still in the top 20% of all people in terms of development.

[Leo Gura]

There's definitely valuable lessons to learn from living among hippies. Just don't get stuck there.

In the end those hippies are full of shit, just like everyone else

What matters is not the average awareness of any community, but YOUR awareness of yourself.

Edited November 27, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Hello from Russia]

38 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

In the end those hippies are full of shit, just like everyone else

Meh, who isn't full of shit, really?

[How to be wise]

@Raptorsin7 I’m guessing you’re not the ‘loner’ type, like I expect most people here are.

Do you tell them to watch Actualized videos?

[How to be wise]

19 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

but I haven't met anyone here that I'm strongly attracted too and click with. 

That idealisation doesn’t exist. Don’t fall into the ‘avoidant trap’. It’s basically when somebody deep down is afraid of being in a relationship, but outwardly they think that they haven’t met ‘the right person’, and they use this as an excuse to keep intimacy away. 

Firstly, there’s no way you’ve never met a girl you’re attracted to. ‘Strongly’ is just another avoidant trap, an excuse to not be in a relationship. As for ‘click with’, let me break it to you, you will never meet someone identical to you. Everyone on this planet is different. The only pre-requisite of a relationship is that she accepts your lifestyle and values, and you accept her’s. If that is set, there’s absolutely no reason to not be in a relationship. 

I recommend reading the book ‘attached’ by Amir Levine to learn more about the avoidant trap. 

[Raptorsin7]

21 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

@Raptorsin7 I’m guessing you’re not the ‘loner’ type, like I expect most people here are.

Do you tell them to watch Actualized videos?

I am a loner type, and no I don't personally watch Leo so I don't reccomend his videos. Although I do mention i post on a spiritual forum 

 

10 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

That idealisation doesn’t exist. Don’t fall into the ‘avoidant trap’. It’s basically when somebody deep down is afraid of being in a relationship, but outwardly they think that they haven’t met ‘the right person’, and they use this as an excuse to keep intimacy away. 

Firstly, there’s no way you’ve never met a girl you’re attracted to. ‘Strongly’ is just another avoidant trap, an excuse to not be in a relationship. As for ‘click with’, let me break it to you, you will never meet someone identical to you. Everyone on this planet is different. The only pre-requisite of a relationship is that she accepts your lifestyle and values, and you accept her’s. If that is set, there’s absolutely no reason to not be in a relationship. 

I recommend reading the book ‘attached’ by Amir Levine to learn more about the avoidant trap. 

Yeah I cam see how I am in that trap.

And yes there are some women here who catch my eye, but it seems like I would just be forcing myself into a relationship not because I really feel drawn to someone here but because I'm needy and ill take what I can get.

I'm also hesitant about jumping into a relationship unless there's a stromg attraction because there may be someone for me on the othetside of patience.

I will likely be travelling more after my 2 week volunteer commitment so it's possible I will meet more people as i travel 

[Raptorsin7]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

There's definitely valuable lessons to learn from living among hippies. Just don't get stuck there.

In the end those hippies are full of shit, just like everyone else

What matters is not the average awareness of any community, but YOUR awareness of yourself.

Yeah I'm conscious of that. I'm not sure where I'm going next, but I have another week here and then I'm serving at a 10 day vipassana course, so I'm hoping to get some inspiration on where to travel next 

[How to be wise]

22 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

because there may be someone for me on the othetside of patience.

THIS is the avoidant trap right here. Please read the book ‘Attached’ to familiarise yourself with the concept. It will change your life.

[Raptorsin7]

2 hours ago, How to be wise said:

THIS is the avoidant trap right here. Please read the book ‘Attached’ to familiarise yourself with the concept. It will change your life.

Okay I'll check it out.

So what is the solution? To enter into a relationship with anyone over no one and let that experience grow me?

[Zeroguy]

@Raptorsin7 It would be cool if you could hook up from some girl in that community.Stage green people are loving ,kind etc.

[How to be wise]

3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

So what is the solution?

Read the book Attached 10-15 times, so it can transform your mind and you can get permanent results from it. Reading it a few times isn’t enough. 

[Raptorsin7]

5 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

@Raptorsin7 It would be cool if you could hook up from some girl in that community.Stage green people are loving ,kind etc.

Yeah it would. I like this place, I will likely travel more through Europe, but I will likely come back often so there will be opportunities.

I've made some great friends here so I hope to remain in touch for a long time.

 

[Raptorsin7]

2 hours ago, How to be wise said:

Read the book Attached 10-15 times, so it can transform your mind and you can get permanent results from it. Reading it a few times isn’t enough. 

Okay I'll check it out 

[Michal__]

How did you get there? How has your experience been so far?