Kundalini Or Mental Illness?!

[onacloudynight]

So I have been meditating for a year now using the do nothing technique and some crazy shit has been happening. At first it was minor, my neck started doing circular movements by itself and then it would calm down. After months of meditating though, very bizarre things are happening. Sometimes when I meditate, I start screaming at the top of my lungs, I speak in tongues, I will start singing or my body will stand up seemingly on it's own accord and pace around the house. What's bad is it happened at school. I came in to class very blissful and was laughing hysterically at nothing. I then felt this overwhelming amount of energy take control over my body. My body was moving into yoga postures and I started screaming in class and was yelling things in some unknown language. It honestly felt like I was possessed. I felt extremely blissful afterwards, like I had released a ton of negative energy from my body, but I scared the shit out of the whole school and my girlfriend. Because of that, my girlfriend completely cut off all contact with me and I am banned from campus because of it.

My question is, if this is kundalini, I don't know whether I should stop meditating or what I should do, as it is severely disrupting my college and social life. I already have an appointment with a psychiatrist, but I really don't want to take medication if it's not an illness, as I have heard of the negative effects these medications can cause long-term.

[Guivs]

@onacloudynight Wow, I'm sorry this happened to you  

The ideal would be to consult someone who's both a psychiatrist and at the same time experienced with meditation, someone like Mark Epstein or something.  But this is difficult to find...

If you are sure it is related to your meditation practice, maybe you should stop the "do nothing meditation" for a while  ?

And you could switch for a meditation in which you keep some control over your mind (calm abiding meditation) rather than letting it run free like in "do nothing". You could try some mindfulness of breathing that might make you more relaxed and less prone to this.

If that does not work, maybe would it be best for you to stop meditating until you see someone that can help you.

My advice here does not replace professional guidance whatsoever. Maybe are there people here on the forum that have gone through such experiences ? They are people which have experience with kundalini (like @Martin123 ). They might have an idea.

Sorry of not being able to help much, we hope that you will be fine  

 

[Dodo]

36 minutes ago, onacloudynight said:

So I have been meditating for a year now using the do nothing technique and some crazy shit has been happening. At first it was minor, my neck started doing circular movements by itself and then it would calm down. After months of meditating though, very bizarre things are happening. Sometimes when I meditate, I start screaming at the top of my lungs, I speak in tongues, I will start singing or my body will stand up seemingly on it's own accord and pace around the house. What's bad is it happened at school. I came in to class very blissful and was laughing hysterically at nothing. I then felt this overwhelming amount of energy take control over my body. My body was moving into yoga postures and I started screaming in class and was yelling things in some unknown language. It honestly felt like I was possessed. I felt extremely blissful afterwards, like I had released a ton of negative energy from my body, but I scared the shit out of the whole school and my girlfriend. Because of that, my girlfriend completely cut off all contact with me and I am banned from campus because of it.

My question is, if this is kundalini, I don't know whether I should stop meditating or what I should do, as it is severely disrupting my college and social life. I already have an appointment with a psychiatrist, but I really don't want to take medication if it's not an illness, as I have heard of the negative effects these medications can cause long-term.

Just by reading this and imagining what it was like, I got super scared. Especially on the yoga poses at school bit. 

Immediately stop meditating. Long ago, when I was just starting out with meditation, a friend of mine from work told me that meditation could be really bad for people with mental issues. I didn't really pay much attention, but your story seems like just that. 

Indeed instead of meditating separately, just concentrate on your breathing and inner states throughout the day. You should really train your mindfulness as suggested, I think this type of meditating during daytime without closing your eyes would bring balance to your system and allow you to gain control over your own body and not experience such episodes.

Of course also consult a specialist, I'm just writing what my intuition is giving me and hope it helps you. 

 

Oh, also this might help

 

Edited February 24, 2017 by Dodoster

[Martin123]

@onacloudynight This is music to my ears. I am sorry it disrupted your social life. Dont take meds, if you go see anyone make it energy coach or transpersonal psychologist or someone who doesn't subscribe to "classical western psychology models".

 

Truth be told you are awakening an energy that is going to raise you very high and ellevate your life.

First and foremost, as you described, it will start releasing past trauma and trapped energy.

Ylou can regulate it though, you should still be able to function normally. Unless it is something you dont want (chances are that you subconsciously didnt want to be with that girl, she wasnt in allignment with your new reality so be cool.)

 

ways to work with kundalini are some yoga postures but first and foremost breath-work.

Check out wim-hof's breathing technique, make it a morning habbit. Check out pranic breathwork and become aware of the specific chakras in your body that are being cleansed.

[Martin123]

6 minutes ago, Dodoster said:

Just by reading this and imagining what it was like, I got super scared. Especially on the yoga poses at school bit. 

Immediately stop meditating. Long ago, when I was just starting out with meditation, a friend of mine from work told me that meditation could be really bad for people with mental issues. I didn't really pay much attention, but your story seems like just that. 

Indeed instead of meditating separately, just concentrate on your breathing and inner states throughout the day. You should really train your mindfulness as suggested, I think this type of meditating during daytime without closing your eyes would bring balance to your system and allow you to gain control over your own body and not experience such episodes.

Of course also consult a specialist, I'm just writing what my intuition is giving me and hope it helps you. 

In my opinion this is no time for fear. There cannot be anything happening inside of your consciousness that you cannot integrate.

Be cool, be brave, master your energy.

[Martin123]

@onacloudynight also do Leo's self-love visualisation. It will activate Your heartcenter and allow further integration. And it will make it more managable.

 

there's an exercise at the bottom of the page. http://www.beliefnet.com/wellness/articles/pranic-breathing-the-key-to-both-relaxation-and-energy.aspx

Edited February 24, 2017 by Martin123

[Martin123]

4 minutes ago, Snick said:

I have experienced kundalini. I had trouble thinking, still have. Headaches, tingling sensations. Pain in chron chakra and in the neck. 

I also felt that my head consisted of "two halfs" that wasn't integrated. My right hemisphere felt numb, and I'm afraid I lost my creative power. 

The sinus nerv had caused me much trouble as well. 

My body works fine though, balance and everything is great, I play tennis at least as good as ever before.!

You guys think I might have a stroke or something? It was very severe for long time, I felt almost senile! 

I had a lot of anger, tremendous anger and didn't sleep! 

Is that normal or what do you think Martin?

I am a person with strong emotions and huge energy, it frustrates me that I couldn't channel the energy outwards, instead that energy attacked me! 

 

 

 

Nothing attacked you. Let go of the belief that there is some "out there" that attacks you. You are accountable for what happens in your life. Welcome it, dont resist

 

and yes what youre describing sounds very "normal" to me.

 

Edited February 24, 2017 by Martin123

[AlwaysBeNice]

Lol, it happened in class? And you couldn't just stop it? I doubt the latter but oh well. 

It's an interesting challenge. Good luck, things don't happen by accident so keep going on your path and trust life would be my advice.

But no, the kundalini is not a mental illness. Fear/delusion are basically the only real mental illness, and they disappear as the mind goes quiet. 

I would advice against seeing a psychiatrist, some can help through therapy, but meds don't do anything but destroy your mind/body to try and numb, but there is no reason to numb anything, trust nature not materialist ego.

I made a video on mental illness, perhaps it may be of use

 

[Dodo]

25 minutes ago, AlwaysBeNice said:

Lol, it happened in class? And you couldn't just stop it? I doubt the latter but oh well. 

It's an interesting challenge. Good luck, things don't happen by accident so keep going on your path and trust life would be my advice.

But no, the kundalini is not a mental illness. Fear/delusion are basically the only real mental illness, and they disappear as the mind goes quiet. 

I would advice against seeing a psychiatrist, some can help through therapy, but meds don't do anything but destroy your mind/body to try and numb, but there is no reason to numb anything, trust nature not materialist ego.

I made a video on mental illness, perhaps it may be of use

 

Oh wow man that video was quality, good job and thanks

[onacloudynight]

51 minutes ago, AlwaysBeNice said:

Lol, it happened in class? And you couldn't just stop it? I doubt the latter but oh well.

@AlwaysBeNice Yeah, I couldn't stop it. I felt it coming on and I was like "Oh shit". I lost all conscious control of my body. It felt like an overwhelming force of energy and it pushed "me" in the background while it did its dirty work. 

Edited February 24, 2017 by onacloudynight

[Deep]

@onacloudynight Maybe you can find someone who has fully awakened their kundalini to guide you. Did you experience a painful/burning sensation in your spine? Not the normal kind of pain but something different? 

[onacloudynight]

@Deep  I'll have to do some major searching, as I can hardly find anyone interested in spirituality where I live. I didn't feel any burning sensation in my spine. It felt like there was a ton of energy circulating throughout my body, starting from my chest and spreading throughout my arms and legs.

[Flare]

@onacloudynight I actually had similar experiences. Similar in the way of the energy level not in the same social environment - I always was at home. It was during a time when I used to do Osho-Gebberish Meditation for 2 hours straight. (which has some similarities to Kundalini) To me it was fascinating, not damaging obvious because I had no direct downside, as you would described it but it kinda found it's way into my social life, where I was perceived as hyperactive out of nowhere. I always jumped out of the bed at 9 am feeling an energy getting me up, even when I went drinking and partying till 6 am. Best example was once when we went on a festival. Everyone was completely wasted and I just woke up and got energy like there was no tomorrow and like I had been to sleep for 20 hours straight. My gf then couldn't understand it, me neither. Hearing your experience now it does indeed make a lot of sense. 

For me they way I view it and the way I could use it as a resource is trying to control your energy. Your energy outburst is most likely comparable to beta waves. It is some sort of an frenetic energy, not controlled. Alpha waves are all about controlling the energy, going the middle way like Confucius would describe it. That's where Osho actually wants you to go. I think it has some obvious similarities to the description of an alpha male from Elliot Hulse where he describes Alphas as "Tender Aggressive". Meaning that they're alpha because they have the energy but they are holding it, controlling it and even holding it back. Thats why high energetic alpha males/energy is perceived as charismatic and frenetic beta energy is perceived as annoying because there is no power over it, you're not congruent. So you got the chance to get on an whole new energetic level, including your body etc. if can use this energy in your favor - it can be a huge resource. 

In this particular topic I'm not 100% sure if it's helpful, but I kinda feel like I can only share my experience and there is no "right" way to go about it, maybe understanding this is the way to get your energy handled. Everyone gotta figure this out for themselves.

Best luck & wishes for your future mate!

[Leo Gura]

@onacloudynight Great stuff! You're really growing.

Don't worry about the fools who are lost in the spell of "normal" consensus reality.

But if possible, keep it to yourself. There's no reason to go around freaking out those who won't understand.

Try to purge all your inner demons privately as much as possible. You CAN control yourself in public. Don't let your spiritual practices become an excuse for misbehavior.

[Prabhaker]

@onacloudynight

5 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

My question is, if this is kundalini

Through awakening the kundalini, the first experience that comes is of the soul. 

5 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

I don't know whether I should stop meditating or what I should do, as it is severely disrupting my college and social life.

A certain dryness can result from the awakening of the Kundalini. It burns all that is unnecessary from the body.

If you are a angry person, you will find yourself in great difficulty. If you are a loving person, you will not be much affected by awakening. 

 Madness happens many times, but if you know the technique, then meditation can happen. So be concerned with meditation and not with Kundalini.

After awakening there is confusion due to contradictory thoughts, a whole crowd of them, each thought asserting itself as the whole, each thought possessing you as if it were the whole. You can cease to be confused only if you do not deny one particular thought in favor of another, if you do not deny anything – if you do not deny communism in favor of religiousness, if you do not deny God in favor of a philosophy of atheism. If you accept everything that you think, there is no choice to be made and tensions disappear. If you go on choosing, you go on adding to your tensions.

Awareness must be choiceless. You must be aware of your total thought process, the total confusion. The moment you become aware of it, you will know that it is all confusion. Nothing is to be chosen. The very moment you become aware of the total process of your mind is a moment of nonidentity. Then you are not identified with your mind. For the first time you know yourself as consciousness and not as mind. Mind itself becomes an object to you.

[Loreena]

Oh gawd, somehow this scared the shit out of me

[onacloudynight]

@Loreena Yeah, you should have seen some of the faces of my classmates! This one girl seemed really traumatized afterwards and my girlfriend had to get counseling. My professor thought I was going to kill her. I felt really bad once reality kicked in. I severely underestimated this stuff.

Edited February 25, 2017 by onacloudynight

[bigzbigi]

i had K awakening 4 months ago (actually looking back I had a couple of those in the past), and yes it could be K in your case. Your brain is just rewiring (neural network of your brain is just changing) and doing crazy stuff. You could stop meditating for a while. I did it. On the beggining I got small paranoia but it took 2 days to stop because it burned me out. I was sleeping 2 weeks almost all the time after this, i was so tired. 

Yes, K may cause mental illness if not handled properly but on the other hand it can change your life for much better if you manage it properly. It is all in your hands, a lot of work is waiting for you. Read my post about K. I think it can be fully explained scientificaly. 

Do you have better visual perception after this?

Edited February 25, 2017 by bigzbigi

[onacloudynight]

36 minutes ago, bigzbigi said:

Do you have better visual perception after this?

Yeah, it is subtle, but I definitely notice a difference in awareness. I feel like I reached a new level of awareness, as my meditations have been much deeper since that incident.

[SLICKHAWK]

3 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

I can hardly find anyone interested in spirituality where I live.

You found us. we live with you. In the now/present of this being. only I love you as you are I love.