Lost all my habits

[Cocolove]

A few years ago I had been listening to actualized.org for a while and it had changed my life. I was doing around 10 different positive habits daily such as meditating for 2.5 hours. I took the life purpose course and started a permaculture farm and farmed for two seasons. I went on a couple meditation retreats, which I can't at all imagine doing now. 

Now I can't even get myself to meditate for 5 minutes a day repeatedly. I'm depressed. Just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years which is absolutely terrible. I barely have enough energy just to keep up with my school work and haven't been taking life purpose action. I'm a junior in college studying environmental studies. 

I don't know how this happened and why I slowly just started exercising less willpower for personal development. I know to be happy I need to get back to how I used to be. How do I do this? 

[Artsu]

Try something new.

It might mean that the old ways don't work for you any more.

That said, meditation isn't really something to be overcome.

[Cocolove]

Like a new technique? But i've tried dozens. working on wim hoffing rn. 

[Average Investor]

It would be a good time to rest and not try to push yourself into being the most productive. Read some new books, talk to some new people, try some new activities, and be open to some new sources of information. Try to find some new things to inspire you. You will find something that will inspire you again in your life to build that kind of momentum. 

You probably need some time to grieve and heal from the ending of your relationship as well. 

[Artsu]

8 minutes ago, Cocolove said:

Like a new technique? But i've tried dozens. working on wim hoffing rn. 

Maybe meditation isn't the answer right now.

Keep doing the 5 minutes of it, and keep up with your studies.

If you're depressed, you really need something new, though I don't know what it would be.

Try reading spiritual texts? I liked the Bible, but that might not be for you. I found it helped when I was going through a tough time a few years back.

Mind you, I'm depressed too, and I'm hoping for mystical experiences to pull me out of that.

In the meantime I'm going to be cutting out lower level habits, and things that it's time for me to quit.

Try to figure out WHY you're depressed. Getting to the root causes can be key to pulling you out of it.

I only meditate for minutes at a time, and not every day. I find it does help a lot, but don't force yourself. Do it when you get the inspiration.

[Eyowey]

Depression usually comes with a loss of appetite so you have to force feed yourself lots of fruits. Watermelon, bananas etc. They provide energy and make you feel less heavy.

[Cocolove]

@Average Investor Its been years since I've had those habits and I thought it was ego-backlash, I needed to take it slow. But I'm posting because I'm starting to get tired of that and doubt it.

I had a bit of a moment doings lots of breathwork where I realized if my spiritual life was more in order I would mentally handle this breakup so much better. So I really wish I could do all those things right now it would help me not be so consumed by the grief.

@Eyowey Yea the smoothies and fruit are keeping me alive. Recently I've been able to eat enough like half the days though, so not too bad.

[Cocolove]

@Artsu My life purpose isn't showing much promise for financially sustaining me once I get out of college. Also though I've had issues with being depressed for a long time I can't get to the root of it. Although when I've had enlightenment experiences from psychedelics or retreats I've felt total relief from it. 

[integral]

@Cocolove fruit? If I was eating fruit as my primary energy source I would not be alive today.

[universe]

You unconsciously desired to be the way you are now.

So relish it, give yourself a pat on the back for not having any good habits, no girlfriend and no energy.

Congratulations you got what you wanted!

How does that feel?

❤️

[Cocolove]

@integral It's easiest to eat lol Eyowey was talking about how its hard to eat when depressed. Fruit is better than nothing. Luckily I am eating normal now.

 

@universe I'll try that again until I believe it haha 

[Michal__]

Could be the dark night of the soul with a not too insanely hard intensity. If it's so then a single Vipassana retreat would actually completely cure it.