I just want power over others that's it

[Julian gabriel]

I just want to feel powerful over anything that's not me.

I want to be able to force everyones body into whatever shape I want it to be in at whim.

I want them to serve me and bring me grapes and suck me dick. 

I want to stop wanting this I'm tired of it but at the same time I can see that this desire is trying to imitate my desire for true power which is love. so its kinda pointing me in the right direction.

Im just not sure how to go about using this forceful desire for manipulative power to embody true love/power

[Thought Art]

@Julian gabriel I don’t know if I understand you.

You say you have a deep desire to manipulate others? Can you explain how that relates to love?

Can you define love?

[Julian gabriel]

10 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@Julian gabriel I don’t know if I understand you.

You say you have a deep desire to manipulate others? Can you explain how that relates to love?

Can you define love?

@Thought Art It relates to love because I can see that this desire to control my environment is an imitation of the pull of the truth trying to get me to accept that I am everything already and love is everything. 

And once u become everything then control is just what u r, there isn't anything u don't control. 

Really every desire is just an imitation of the desire to be love in that way.

[Thought Art]

@Julian gabriel I’ve experience love to be a total lack of bias, a total hands off and surrender instead of a controlling sort of thing. But, I need to contemplate the facets of love. 
 

Interesting post, something for me to contemplate on. This to me seems more like ego and attachment… wanting power and control over others. I wonder if this is a trap actually? 
 

The trap of confusing selfishness with God’s love. 
 

I also have these feelings if wanting to control others. I think this is sort of commons amongst humans because it seems to have more power over reality means getting what we want.

Edited November 21, 2022 by Thought Art

[Tyler Robinson]

What value are you offering? 

 

[thisintegrated]

I diagnose you with ..Red-Orangeness.

Wait it out.  It'll get better.

[hyruga]

200 years from now, you will be dead. Would you want to be known as a great friend or a dictator?

[Artsu]

You sound truly evil.

[Julian gabriel]

12 hours ago, thisintegrated said:

I diagnose you with ..Red-Orangeness.

Wait it out.  It'll get better.

@thisintegrated Agreed, but can I do anything other than just wait in order to overcome this? 

[Eyowey]

14 hours ago, Julian gabriel said:

I want them to serve me and bring me grapes and suck me dick. 

This means that you want to recieve love from others. 

Give yourself that which others fail to give to you.

[Yarco]

16 hours ago, hyruga said:

200 years from now, you will be dead. Would you want to be known as a great friend or a dictator?

How many dictators of history can you name?

How many great friends of history can you name?

I don't think Lenin would have statues of his head still all over Russia today if he was a great friend. Give me the statues.

[hyruga]

8 minutes ago, Yarco said:

How many dictators of history can you name?

How many great friends of history can you name?

I don't think Lenin would have statues of his head still all over Russia today if he was a great friend. Give me the statues.

Haha I know what you mean but I am just going to give this quote:

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

Edited November 22, 2022 by hyruga

[Artsu]

2 hours ago, hyruga said:

Haha I know what you mean but I am just going to give this quote:

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

Great quote!

Think of how many rich and famous people have sold their souls in the quest for power, then ask if you still want it.

Btw, to sell your soul means to do so much damage to the world, ie build up so much bad karma, that you can't pay it back without essentially going through hell and being destroyed.

This will happen sooner or later.

[caspex]

The model of negative and positive polarity from the RA material is helpful here.

What you seem to be urging for is growth in the negative polarity. That happens when the heart chakra is closed if I understand correctly. On the negative polarity you can still realize you're everything and all that, even transcend suffering to some degree, without any element of love involved. The only difference would be that you'll get your energy and bliss from conquering others while the positive polarity gets it near effortlessly just through existing. I think you should work on your heart chakra and balance it with the solar plexus.

[Julian gabriel]

41 minutes ago, Swarnim said:

The model of negative and positive polarity from the RA material is helpful here.

What you seem to be urging for is growth in the negative polarity. That happens when the heart chakra is closed if I understand correctly. On the negative polarity you can still realize you're everything and all that, even transcend suffering to some degree, without any element of love involved. The only difference would be that you'll get your energy and bliss from conquering others while the positive polarity gets it near effortlessly just through existing. I think you should work on your heart chakra and balance it with the solar plexus.

@Swarnim thank you for the nuanced response I really appreciate it. 

Do you have any advice on how I can work on my heart chakra? 

[caspex]

1 hour ago, Julian gabriel said:

Do you have any advice on how I can work on my heart chakra? 

@Julian gabriel

The basic thing you need to be able to do is generate pressure in the middle of your chest where the heart chakra is. This pressure is exactly like how it feels when you'd focus on the third eye chakra. It's hard at first, or atleast was for me, so what I did was to focus on generating love within my psyche. You could do it by thinking about something or someone you love. Once you feel that love grab onto it and try introspecting what that is. Once you have a good understanding of that feeling, generate it more and more, again and again. Eventually you want to move away from your head and generate that love in your chest(if you weren't already). At some point you'll be able to feel something in your chest. Eventually with practice you'll be able to generate pressure instantly in your chest when you focus on it. I am generating it as I write about it. You should then work on making it more dense but also cover a larger area on your chest.

After generating the pressure or even before, you need to do shadow work, think about your life, browse through your memories. Feel nostalgic. Nostalgia is key. Maybe put on some music. Feel that nostalgia. That's you becoming vulnerable, opening up. Also find ways to humble yourself. You know those moments when somethings humbles you so bad it hits you in the chest? Look for those experiences. Another thing you need to do is be more emotional, doesn't matter which emotion, just indulge into it. Jealousy, anger, happiness, sadness, love, don't care, just show it on your face and your body. Express it outwards. Become a beacon of emotion and do not care whether others are able to tell or not what emotions you're feeling. Let them judge and let them know. It's important you express your emotions consciously and not make foolish choices. Also understand that the emotions you put out in the world is what others absorb and become themselves. If you're angry you'll likely make others around you angry too.

The key word is vulnerability. When you open your heart you're making yourself vulnerable. You feel vulnerable, sensitive and soft. You feel that if anyone were to strike you, you'd be dead in an instant, yet you're ok with that and not paranoid at all. Instead, you're happy, and feel safe(possibly due to a good root chakra, not sure). You're ready to sacrifice yourself for even an ant. There is no logical reason behind this feeling.

You need to do these things in several sessions because you're chipping away at the layers of walls built around the heart. At some point you'll reach the seed of your being. It'll be so sensitive, vulnerable and gentle that you'll gag(as in cry) when you find it for the first time. When the last layer of that wall breaks, there'll be a big release of energy and you'll feel orgasmic in your chest for a while, this is only a one time thing. It may become permanent on higher levels of consciousness I am not sure. This is currently the point where I am at. Occasionally when you feel into the seed, it shoots up a geyser of energy through the higher chakras. For me it hits the roof(crown chakra) and dies down after a while. It hits the roof because my crown chakra is closed.

Another thing to be noted is integrating your heart chakra with every other chakra, specially the solar plexus as that chakra deals with the ego, and plays a major role in the negative polarity. I think for integrating those two just feel into them together and do what feels right and feels like 'integration'. I don't have much experience in that so I can't explain it in words.

Another helpful thing to do is to shift your awareness from the head to the chest. So that when you feel into the chest, it feels like your focusing on the center of your being and not somewhere down there below you. And so that when you think of yourself, you naturally focus on the chest and not on the head. So that when you think of your head, it feels like the head is somewhere up there. The chest is a nice place to rest your awareness as this place is naturally very warm and protected by the rest of the body around it.

Last thing, it'd be great if you could watch teachers and construct your content diet to be focused around compassion and love. Although I'll be honest, I never did this. But I just might start now.

Edited November 23, 2022 by Swarnim

[puporing]

Invoke the light of the universe/divinity/God to resolve it for you and work through you when you don't know how to end the abuse yourself/others: to end all cycles of abuse, and to bring forth your highest qualities for the well-being of all which is you. 

Edited November 23, 2022 by puporing

[LordFall]

I have a bit of the same feeling and in my opinion, it just means you yearn for control because you're scared. Scared of people hurting you, leaving you, not loving you, etc. If you control everyone and everything then there's nothing to fear and you can get all the love you want.

That's the theory but obviously, it doesn't work like that. 

[John Paul]

Make enough money and you can- go ahead and get it then, stop crying to internet people. Unless that’s not really what you want hmm…..

[Ethan1]

Ok. You're the pink one.