Beautiful Fragile Girl

[Julian gabriel]

I met this beautiful fragile girl who is like a deer in the way that I must inch slowly towards her making sure not to scare her off.

We’ve been texting none stop for a few days but I’ve only met her twice in person and yesterday I asked her too many personal questions and she had to go home and cry because she hates herself and doesn’t really like talking about her mind that much. She’s used to living in a world of uplifting distractions.

She told me later that the way I was psychoanalyzing her made her feel claustrophobic.

I find it difficult to empathize with mentally fragile people since 99% of the time I’m fine with talking about 99% of things. 

How do I help her to feel comfortable enough around me to be ok with me asking the personal questions I want to ask?

[Jannes]

You can talk about yourself more. That would balance things out and then she might feel more comfortable talking about herself. 

[Guest Edvardas]

Bro, have you thought about NOT doing that? 

It obviously makes people extremely uncomfortable, to the point of tears.. 

[axiom]

Don't let beauty and fragility trump compatibility. 

[Artsu]

Stop talking to her.

You sound like an abuser.

[Matt23]

 

3 hours ago, Edvardas said:

Bro, have you thought about NOT doing that? 

Ya... just literally accept and acknowledge the feedback.  

Respect her communications --> leads to trust --> leads to openness and communication etc..  

Which may all take Patience.  

 

But, if you find you don't want to be with this person if they aren't 99% (or w/e percentage) willing to talk about stuff, then I guess you gotta make that call to be with them or not.  

But if you want to continue with her, then I'd respect her wishes and communications.  It's obviously a sensitive subject for her.  The last thing she'd want is someone saying "You know, I just don't understand why you're so sensitive.  Look at me!  I'm not sensitive at all!"  This could easily be construed as you telling her "You're not good enough like me"... so just ya...

Be easy.

Go gently.  

Take the obvious feedback that it's sensitive for her and respect that.  

Maybe once you've developed enough trust and respect etc., then you can start to communicate more openly.  But she has to feel safe, like you won't psychologically "pounce" or be "too much" for her.  

[Ulax]

She probably just isn't the type of girl you can do that with.

[MarkKol]

Why date someone who lives in a cage

[universe]

If you bring out shit, people associate you with it.

Now if that doesn't matter to you thats allright. But if you want to date her take it easy.

Overall sounds like you tried to be rational and wanted her to behave like a man.

[LastThursday]

On 23/11/2022 at 3:12 PM, MarkKol said:

Why date someone who lives in a cage

Why not? We all live in cages, why not set each other free?

@Julian gabriel lead by example not by analysing her, show her what it's like to be free.

[integral]

From my experience some people take conversations about psychology or the mind personally and are unable to separates themselves from it.

When dating it’s best to avoid women who can’t have these kind of conversations easily and who are experiencing everything you say as an attack. Date people who already have a spiritual understanding at the minimum because you don’t need to do as much work to enjoy their company and the conversations flow easier. Basically date people who have similar values to you but you’ll only appreciate this advice with enough failed relationships, if your values don’t match it’s really not worth your time.

But from that other topic it seems you’re obsessed with power so maybe dating someone fragile will help temper that. ?

Edited November 25, 2022 by integral

[MarkKol]

On 11/25/2022 at 10:57 AM, LastThursday said:

We all live in cages

If you go crying home because someone asked you personal questions then you better be looking for psychiatry hospital clients, cuz boy you're outta luck if it's something else you seek

On 11/25/2022 at 10:57 AM, LastThursday said:

lead by example not by analysing her, show her what it's like to be free

He was analyzing her? I'm not advocating for it but hey he did it, she cried. That's not a free human being, she hates herself

Self hate is basically prison

Edited November 26, 2022 by MarkKol

[2ndComing]

Its either gonna be or not

Lift
Read (and read Jesus too)
Read books about love/relationships
Give her her space
Help people out

And what will happen will happen