Being happy ALONE for a long period/life

[Gabith]

Are any of you honestly happy alone for long period like years without sex / a girlfriend ? 

I have a hard time with this, I have had periods where I was happy for a week or two, but unfortunately I always come back to the starting point: wanting a girlfriend, not a manipulative one or the first one that comes along like I used to do in the past. 
I won't put myself in that anymore fortunately, but I desire a real loving relationship.

And sometimes when I try to be happy alone, I know it's somehow to make it easier to find a girlfriend because I know I'll be more attractive once I'm not looking for someone. 
So there's this trap that I set for myself: the desire to be happy alone not for the sake of it but for being more attracting and getting what I want: a girlfriend. 
I think it's due to a lot of conditioning. 

I can't admit that I can be happy alone for life. 

I feel like if it's possible, it will take me years of work at least. 
On the other hand, I know that if I fall in love with someone and I'm in a relationship with them, I risk to forget myself again and the relationship will end in a few months or years, I'll feel miserable again. 

I know that I have to be happy on my own to have a satisfying healthy relationship but I can't. 
 

Do you have any advice? Can you be happy alone for years without having desires about women, sex etc ??? 

[YaNanNallari]

Im not enlightened pro guide but I can say this much.

You can certainly be enlightened without a girlfriend, so it's like a convenience to have a partner. An incredible convenience if they are great for you and perhaps assisting in your journey towards that as well.

3 hours ago, Gabith said:

I know that I have to be happy on my own to have a satisfying healthy relationship but I can't. 

Well, to have an utopic relationship, sure. However, we learn to become happier also while in relationships, and the level of the healthiness and satisfaction depends on where the people involved are at that moment in their journeys. In other words, a healthy relationship is one where there is meditative opening.

You describe struggles after being alone for some time. It can indeed be difficult, but those struggles can melt away with being naturally meditative in life, supported by learning to take care of our bodies with suitable food etc in the meanwhile. I think of it as a transformation that takes years. It takes years because our body adjusts to heightened awareness gradually, it can't handle it all at once initially.

[NoSelfSelf]

Not being happy withouth a partner is a sign of low self worth and esteem...ironically reason why she wont deal with a guy like that...

Edited November 19, 2022 by NoSelfSelf

[ChrisZoZo]

4 1/2 years with no relationship I see it like this. There are three main expects of doing in life. Exploration, contribution, enjoyment. 
 

I can explore consciousness much better without relationship getting in the way. 

my enjoyment is much higher because I have so much self love. (So much so it destroyed the desire for relationship love)

I can work on contributing towards life as I am not restricted by relationship. 
 

Conclusion don’t need a relationship.