Repeatedly identifying back with the self, need advice

[caspex]

In my experience one of the biggest reason for this is living in a society where you are constantly blasted with people identified with themselves talking and behaving in ways that imprint you with that level of being. If you have ever reached a state of bliss or whatever with no sense of self and proceed to talk to people or consume normal media, the self-obsessed nature of people is clear. But then as you interact more and more, you slide to that exact same state yourself. For me, who isn't as well established into the higher states, I'd slide down anyways even without interaction, however with interaction it's much faster. Without interaction, maybe a few hours; with interaction? 30 - 50 mins and I am back to being identified with the self.

I need guidance as to how I can sustain such levels of consciousness where I am literally leaking out of my body because of how disidentified I am, but still manage to interact with people without lowering my level? I know it's possible but how? 

For those of you who are more experienced in this I have more questions I am dying(pun intended) to have answered.

In default states and even in such states I feel like I am suffocating in a way I can't explain, and through previous experiences I know the way to solve this is to open my heart, because once I did it for a split second and it felt like I took a big gasp of air after suffocating my whole life. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot open my heart in the right way to feel that breath of fresh air again. Need help.

My third question is how do you head towards God realization from here(without psychedelics, I do not intend to take them yet)? I have heard the next step after self-realization would be to experience the void and have enough experience of it to move past the bliss of self-realization. But what is this void and how do I experience it?

Maybe God realization is too high a goal to aim for sober, if that is the case then where can I go from here in general besides embodiment?

[VeganAwake]

18 hours ago, Swarnim said:

In my experience one of the biggest reason for this is living in a society where you are constantly blasted with people identified with themselves talking and behaving in ways that imprint you with that level of being. If you have ever reached a state of bliss or whatever with no sense of self and proceed to talk to people or consume normal media, the self-obsessed nature of people is clear. But then as you interact more and more, you slide to that exact same state yourself. For me, who isn't as well established into the higher states, I'd slide down anyways even without interaction, however with interaction it's much faster. Without interaction, maybe a few hours; with interaction? 30 - 50 mins and I am back to being identified with the self.

I need guidance as to how I can sustain such levels of consciousness where I am literally leaking out of my body because of how disidentified I am, but still manage to interact with people without lowering my level? I know it's possible but how? 

For those of you who are more experienced in this I have more questions I am dying(pun intended) to have answered.

In default states and even in such states I feel like I am suffocating in a way I can't explain, and through previous experiences I know the way to solve this is to open my heart, because once I did it for a split second and it felt like I took a big gasp of air after suffocating my whole life. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot open my heart in the right way to feel that breath of fresh air again. Need help.

My third question is how do you head towards God realization from here(without psychedelics, I do not intend to take them yet)? I have heard the next step after self-realization would be to experience the void and have enough experience of it to move past the bliss of self-realization. But what is this void and how do I experience it?

Maybe God realization is too high a goal to aim for sober, if that is the case then where can I go from here in general besides embodiment?

Yes, it seems like there is a real separate 'you' but that's the illusion/maya. ?

What's happening is the body mind organism is just reverting back to its habitual patterns of conditioned behavior/thinking/identification, because that's what it's used to doing of course.... so naturally it feels like falling back off the spiritual wagon sort of speak! 

There isn't a real 'you' on the so-called spiritual path getting closer to enlightenment....thats the illusion of 'self' often referred to as the dream story.

Enlightenment isn't about becoming a better or more spiritual version of yourself!

It's the clear recognition that there simply never was a self in which could become or unbecome in the first place.

It's the end of seeking due to the recognition that this desperate & endlessly needy seeker(me) was never real from the start!

♥ 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[axiom]

@Swarnim God realisation isn’t a good pointer at all. It’s just another experience, like an opioid high.

The “answer” to all of this is found only when all seeking / wanting things to be different stops completely. 

There is nothing you can do about any of this. There is no you to do it. There is no subject / object awareness. There is no agent anywhere that can change a single thing. There is no doing. There is just this, and only this.

[Godishere]

20 minutes ago, axiom said:

@Swarnim

There is nothing you can do about any of this. There is no you to do it. There is no subject / object awareness. There is no agent anywhere that can change a single thing. There is no doing. There is just this, and only this.

Psychedelics will definitely collapse the duality between subject/object, which in relatively is something a you does. So you can do something. You're basically saying to give up when there are methods that are proven to weaken the 'sense of self'

 

 

[Cathal]

https://suttacentral.net/an8.19/en/sujato?layout=plain&reference=none&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin

patience and the continutation of practice wherever you are and less about your mental proliferation from the conditions you find yourself. read my post on the insights on practicing at home vs a wat (monastery)

it is very much important one practices within themselves to get established not to be constantly sucked into the conditions that arise being in unwholesome environments.

thats why the Buddha made it so clear the Sangha is so essential

we all struggle with this

[axiom]

27 minutes ago, Godishere said:

Psychedelics will definitely collapse the duality between subject/object, which in relatively is something a you does. So you can do something. You're basically saying to give up when there are methods that are proven to weaken the 'sense of self'

Psychedelics are incredible.

But really, seeking a way to bring an end to seeking is the cosmic joke.

[Razard86]

23 hours ago, Swarnim said:

In my experience one of the biggest reason for this is living in a society where you are constantly blasted with people identified with themselves talking and behaving in ways that imprint you with that level of being. If you have ever reached a state of bliss or whatever with no sense of self and proceed to talk to people or consume normal media, the self-obsessed nature of people is clear. But then as you interact more and more, you slide to that exact same state yourself. For me, who isn't as well established into the higher states, I'd slide down anyways even without interaction, however with interaction it's much faster. Without interaction, maybe a few hours; with interaction? 30 - 50 mins and I am back to being identified with the self.

I need guidance as to how I can sustain such levels of consciousness where I am literally leaking out of my body because of how disidentified I am, but still manage to interact with people without lowering my level? I know it's possible but how? 

For those of you who are more experienced in this I have more questions I am dying(pun intended) to have answered.

In default states and even in such states I feel like I am suffocating in a way I can't explain, and through previous experiences I know the way to solve this is to open my heart, because once I did it for a split second and it felt like I took a big gasp of air after suffocating my whole life. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot open my heart in the right way to feel that breath of fresh air again. Need help.

My third question is how do you head towards God realization from here(without psychedelics, I do not intend to take them yet)? I have heard the next step after self-realization would be to experience the void and have enough experience of it to move past the bliss of self-realization. But what is this void and how do I experience it?

Maybe God realization is too high a goal to aim for sober, if that is the case then where can I go from here in general besides embodiment?

What worked for me is totally deconstructing all meaning and purpose. You do it enough and you will see it for what it is. All meaning and purpose is complete fabrication and lies. You need to practice deconstruction until you cannot be fooled. Once this happens the ego will become visible. You will see that it is just an illusion of patterns, processes, habits, preferences, etc. 

You will also become aware how you identified with them. You will also understand what love is from both the finite and infinite. There is no free will because love gives up its free will to become an identity. The only freedom as such is no identity. When you realize this you realize you were always free because identity was never real, you constructed/created it.

[Tyler Robinson]

This forum is not a place that can help you because this is online. Words can only do so much. 

If being on this forum for so long hasn't caused any positive change in you, chances are that being here long term might not help either. 

You need psychiatric help. Only you can help yourself, nobody can. You need serious treatment because you're very unstable. Real world help not some online words.

But you don't like to be challenged or confronted with the truth, it hurts your pride/ego. 

Soon you'll delete this thread like you delete others.