How to decrease my ego? It's ruining my life

[machinegun]

To be honest, I'm not very into the spirituality side of actualized.org, yet. So, I would like a book reccomendation- preferably a book on the book list that could heal me. But general advice is welcome as well.

Here are some things I do

• not express my authentic self because I want others to perceive me in a certain way
• look down on people who I think are less than me (social status, smarts, looks)
• constantly worry about how other people view me
• a strict refusal to not engage with people who I think are less than me
• a strict refusal to do/try anything that is looked down upon (ex. anime)
  • I didn't major in business in university because people on the internet would make memes about how the major is cringe

As a result, I'm a half-way "actor" everyday and miss out on lots of great people and experiences. Internally, it makes me feel bad about myself to categorize other people as "losers" or "beneath me".

Thanks guys.

[Breakingthewall]

If you really want to sweep all the trash away and leave only the purity that you really are, psychedelics are going to help you tremendously. Meditation too, but over all the will to do it. all that stuff you talk about is layers and layers of garbage. you are honest, and a lot, when expressing it like that. True that if you want you will polish the metal until only the naked truth remains, it takes courage and will. the result is worth any effort

Edited November 11, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[machinegun]

So where would you recommend I get started

[Carl-Richard]

What do you do for fun? Do you meditate?

[Breakingthewall]

28 minutes ago, machinegun said:

So where would you recommend I get started

there are several complementary fronts through which to enter. First,  understanding of the ego, of its mechanics. I would start with eckhart tolle type readings, and many others that can be recommended in this forum. hawkins, adyashanty, etc.

second, start seriously with meditation. understanding what you are looking for when you meditate, pure being, to detoxify yourself from the need to do, to look for something outside of yourself all the time, the mental evasion and addiction.

third, psychedelics on a regular basis starting with low doses and increasing .

all this with the purpose of deconstructing your mind, your ego built from your childhood. It's a process that takes some time, but once it starts it doesn't stop. This forum is also of great help, since you will hardly find people who are in your same deconstruction work.

Edited November 11, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[NoSelfSelf]

By bypassing ego with your own creation of how you gonna be, do and think...its you who's the boss not ego if that makes sense...

Edited November 11, 2022 by NoSelfSelf

[OBEler]

@machinegun lsd, shrooms could really help you reducing your ego. 

[Batman]

Start by gradually becoming more and more honest and authentic with an intention to become 100% authentic/honest.

Remember, honesty serves the truth, dishonesty serves the ego. You cannot become more concious and less ego-identified by misrepresentation, false pretense, lying, hiding, and all forms of manipulation. 

Your judgement of others is based on thoughts that you project on them, which also reflect how you feel about your self. If you felt inferior in life, you will project inferiority on others by judging there abilities or appearance. This generates a delusive feeling of being superior to them, which comforts or appease your buried feeling of inferiority. This doesn't solve the core issue, only closes your heart and soothing your feelings for a very short time.

In the place you are now, it sounds like psychedelics could show you for a few hours how tainted your perspective with ego hypnosis. MDMA is also great for opening the heart and interacting with others without all those false dispositions we project onto others. 

IMO psychedelics are not enough if you want deep transformation. This requires a devotion to a process of becoming more and more conscious of our unconcious tendencies and buried emotions and letting them go. 

[Guest Edvardas]

@machinegun get Leo's book list and read everything. You probably need to develop as a person overall, that what it seems like to me, at least. 

 

Also, careful with the word ego - you don't know what it is yet, yet you use it so liberally. 

[Moksha]

To be healed, are you willing to be dissolved?

Dis-solved: Letting go of the monkey mind demanding answers and surrendering to the spaciousness that you are. Meditation (and maybe psychedelics) will help you here.

What if there is no solution, other than enjoying the present expression of the Self?

[Jodistrict]

Do some service work.  Volunteer.  It gets your out of your ego and gives you a new perspective.  Reading books just engages the mind in accumulating more information that doesn't do anything useful.  

[Eyowey]

Trick the ego into feeling proud for not acting egoic. 

[Carl-Richard]

1 minute ago, Eyowey said:

Trick the ego into feeling proud for not acting egoic. 

Mmmmyes, spiritual ego ?

[r0ckyreed]

Consider that the majority of humans aren’t ready to “decrease their ego.” Even most “spiritual” people aren’t even ready. Your survival needs have to be met before the needs for self-actualization and self-transcendence can be met. To transcend the ego, you first need to develop a healthy and strong ego. Spirituality is easily used as a “bypass” from working on egoic needs. Skipping these steps to developing a healthy ego first is a mistake/trap. Becoming egoless right now in your life won’t improve your life as you think it might. Consider that.

Good luck!  

[Forza-Spirito]

https://www.amazon.it/Choose-Again-Six-Steps-Freedom/dp/173218500X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1668351957&sr=8-7

In this period I am practicing this method. I think it is useful to deal with difficult emotions and go back to the unconscious judgments that are at the origin of emotions. I like it because it has a more practical approach than the classic non-duality.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJyCzKgw83s&list=PLetx0DAqheZyOS9HiwIw7mwZdjtwOfqCn&index=24

in the book list "Loving what is" by Byron Katie it's similar.