Got a girl's number and I don’t know what to do now

[Someone here]

.

I was picking up materials for college, the girl helping me find things at the supplier was pretty and seemed to want to talk. I asked if she had a boyfriend and she said no and I asked if she could put her number in my phone. She seemed a little concerned about my age and asked how old I was (26M) she said she was 19 (I do look older than I am, facial hair, also my line of work it can make it seem like that) but when I told her my age I guess she was alright with it. I asked her if she likes sushi and she said yes and then we kinda just went on our way. 

I don’t know what to do now… I never ask random girls for their phone number. I approach and ask if the girl is interested in a talkn.

Do I call her? Or text? Or text and then call if she replies so that I know if she’s interested or not?

i suck at texting and don’t know how to start. I heard it’s good to wait some time but I told her I wanted to make plans this week. We both work nights but idk if she up at night while not working since we have different schedules. I’m really excited to hang out with her and this is the first time I have gotten someone’s number. Any advice is greatly appreciated

I must say I'm so happy and excited. "Finally it worked " after months of daily   approaching . But I don't want to get ahead of myself and let the excitement makes me appear to her as immature or desperate. 

What should I do now ?

Edited November 11, 2022 by Someone here

[SonataAllegro]

Nice job being direct and also subtle in asking if she wants to go out with you. Now, keep being decisive. It doesn't matter what you do, just be decisive and take the lead. Think about it: does it matter to her if you call or text? NO, she wants to see you make some clear choices and have fun being yourself around her.

You say you've been approaching for months but you never ask random girls for their phone numbers? Then why are you approaching them?

[Roy]

Just wait til tomorrow or the end of today to say something, and don't banter and mess around texting too much. Get straight to the point, you should send 1-2 texts at most. Be decisive and just suggest, "Hey I'm thinking we go to this place at X time, sound good :)?"

Don't freak out or be desperate to make time for it either. It might be the case that your schedules don't match that well. In that case there is nothing you can do, don't worry be happy 

[Vercingetorix]

send a message that it was nice to talk to her with your name.

if she responds, ask what's up with her and chat abit , tell her something about your day for example. once you have a fun chill small talk, ask her what she is doing this week. after she answers, asks when she is free to meet this week and offer her to do something.

 

 

[Someone here]

3 hours ago, SonataAllegro said:

Nice job being direct and also subtle in asking if she wants to go out with you. Now, keep being decisive. It doesn't matter what you do, just be decisive and take the lead. Think about it: does it matter to her if you call or text? NO, she wants to see you make some clear choices and have fun being yourself around her.

Yes being decisive is where its at. But I need to know if she is truly interested in Mr to get that boost In confidence.  Or just muster it up and do it not caring about the consequences? 

3 hours ago, SonataAllegro said:

You say you've been approaching for months but you never ask random girls for their phone numbers? Then why are you approaching them

 I approach to ask her out or if she is interested in building a relationship with a gut and other stuff . I never get to the point of asking about phone number because I was rejected 99% of the time before I even have a chance to ask about phone number. 

2 hours ago, Roy said:

Just wait til tomorrow or the end of today to say something, and don't banter and mess around texting too much. Get straight to the point, you should send 1-2 texts at most. Be decisive and just suggest, "Hey I'm thinking we go to this place at X time, sound good :)?"

Don't freak out or be desperate to make time for it either. It might be the case that your schedules don't match that well. In that case there is nothing you can do, don't worry be happy 

So I should make my intentions clear right off the bat ? I'm actually trying my best to not get  like excited puppy that finally found a leg to hump lol. ?

I just texted her few hours ago and she texted  back.i asked for a  quick mention how good it was talking to her and that im  looking  forward to hang out again real soon.she didn't mind and said "sure". What should I talk about in the next date .I want to know what to say and what not to say.if you could help me out would sincerely appreciate it . ? 

46 minutes ago, Vercingetorix said:

send a message that it was nice to talk to her with your name.

if she responds, ask what's up with her and chat abit , tell her something about your day for example. once you have a fun chill small talk, ask her what she is doing this week. after she answers, asks when she is free to meet this week and offer her to do something.

 

 

So would be the first priority to get to know her over text and then when we're comfortable ask her out on a date, or do you think that is what the date is for?

[Gesundheit2]

@Someone here She seems into you. I don't think it matters a lot what you say next as long as it's within a normal conversation/date invitation protocol. Just don't scare her away with advancing way too early or acting too desperate. Play cool, don't make her a priority just yet. Go on with your life as normal. If it works between you, then great. If not, then try again later, or with someone else.

[Eyowey]

Anything other than aranging meet ups will come across as beating around the proverbial and literal bush. 

[Someone here]

42 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

@Someone here She seems into you. I don't think it matters a lot what you say next as long as it's within a normal conversation/date invitation protocol. Just don't scare her away with advancing way too early or acting too desperate. Play cool, don't make her a priority just yet. Go on with your life as normal. If it works between you, then great. If not, then try again later, or with someone else.

Thanks man for the advice .

I just texted her a bit ago and she replied to Me. I guess If she's texting me, she's interested in me in some way, but not necessarily sexually.i  Asked her  to meet up for coffee in the next weekend , then a fun activity, in a public place so she's not freaked out if we dont "click" while out.
I don't want to put pressure on her .I want everything to run smoothly.

I have a question: "How do I Avoid Screwing This Up?" Because the few times where it looks like I'm finally going out on my very first date, it ends up not happening.

But from  that moment forward. During that spontaneous blur, I got her number, and she now has mine.
It was the last thing I was expecting, even as I walked through that door and saw her face.In short, I like her, and I would say that she's interested in me!


I assume that if she likes me, she'll think of me just as much as I think of her, and try to find time to spend with me. Once I message her, should I wait for her to message me days that works for her, rather than reaching out to her every so often, such as once a week, so I can avoid crossing the line between thinking of her and obsessing over her?

I also have a bunch of other questions, regarding what I should wear, should I take breath mints, wear cologne, that sort of thing, but I find that it is less stressful for me if I take things one step at a time, rather than complicating things.

 

[Someone here]

13 minutes ago, Eyowey said:

Anything other than aranging meet ups will come across as beating around the proverbial and literal bush. 

Yes we made our minds to meet up the next weekend. 

[Gesundheit2]

@Someone here That sounds awesome!

Like @Roy said, set the date with one or two messages max where you set the location and time and just ask for confirmation. Then stop texting until it's due, like one hour before you go out so that you don't get flaked.

As general advice, don't try to be perfect. Nobody's perfect, and they still go on dates and get laid. Of course, look and smell nice, just don't overthink it, that's my point. If there was some universal formula to be sexy, then everyone would already know and apply it. But the truth is that there's always a subjective factor on her side. You could be the most handsome man on earth for 99.99% of women, but only for that one woman that you're on a date with you're a 6 at best. So don't take things personally, cuz in most cases you can't really control the outcome. It's not always about you. Actually, almost never, unless you act creepy. And sometimes, you might get lucky even if you're creepy. There are really no fixed rules to attration, but the most rational route is this: Just be normal, don't invest too much into this. Obviously, look nice, smell nice, be yourself, be playful, make eye contact, speak with certainty and confidence, be open, be positive, don't be egoic, judgmental, or too serious or logical, know that she's interested in you as much as - if not even more than you're interested in her. Generally, just try to have a good time while signaling sexual interest without verbally rushing into sex (Indians tend to be more prude than western women in general). Learn to communicate subtle sexual signals. If you feel that that's a lot to do, then throw it all in the trash and just go out and try to experiment, learn, and have fun. It's often not what you say/do that matters, but how you say/do it. And an easy-going, open, curious attitude goes a long way.

https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-nonverbal-communication-2795397

Edited November 11, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Roy]

8 hours ago, Someone here said:

i asked for a  quick mention how good it was talking to her and that im  looking  forward to hang out again real soon.she didn't mind and said "sure".

Hate to break it to you but this is exactly the kind of leg humping puppy behavior that you want to avoid. Her "sure" is one of indifference and starting to wonder if you might be needy.

You only want to say it was good talking to her or hanging out AFTER you've had your date. Until that point you've got to be a little coy, cold, playful, mysterious.

It's annoying but it is what it is. Women don't want you to be yourself in the early attraction phases. You've got to work to put on a bit of a James Bond vibe to get her interested, to give her the impression she's lucky you even have the time for her. If you act like she's someone you already know as a friend, relationship, or acquaintance. You've lost the game.

Edited November 11, 2022 by Roy

[Average Investor]

Try to get another number and get another date ahead of this one. 

[museumoftrees]

Ask her if she likes coffee and give her a time, date and location for a meetup.

Go on the date. Talk to her. Flirt with her and then ask her to come back with you to your place.

[StarStruck]

If she likes you it doesn't matter what you say. Assume she likes you because that is the basis for any relationship and if she doesn't that should be ok too. You are there to fuck around and find out. You are not there to hump her leg and hope for a bone.

 

[SonataAllegro]

13 hours ago, Someone here said:

 I approach to ask her out or if she is interested in building a relationship with a gut and other stuff . I never get to the point of asking about phone number because I was rejected 99% of the time before I even have a chance to ask about phone number. 

Don't ask if she's interested in building a relationship if you've just met her. That's something you can only do if you're insanely good at pickup, which you're not. So just ask for numbers to start, that communicates clearly enough. If you ask her about being in a relationship right away she'll think you're just trying to get her into one as fast as possible, and that feels like a trap to her.

[Heart of Space]

I'd advise you to not listen to much of the advice in here.  Especially don't make assumptions about what's going on in her head without direct communication.  Because I see a few people mind-reading in here.  

Keep communication simple and brief.  Lots of emoji's through text, to avoid her thinking that you're anything but gay for her.  

Often there can be miscommunication in text.  I've ran into that problem and it's caused major arguments or issues.  Call when it makes sense.  

Edited November 11, 2022 by Heart of Space

[Ninja_pig]

20 minutes ago, Heart of Space said:

I'd advise you to not listen to much of the advice in here.  Especially don't make assumptions about what's going on in her head without direct communication.  Because I see a few people mind-reading in here.  

Keep communication simple and brief.  Lots of emoji's through text, to avoid her thinking that you're anything but gay for her.  

Often there can be miscommunication in text.  I've ran into that problem and it's caused major arguments or issues.  Call when it makes sense.  

I just want to say that this is the best reply

[Chives99]

when it comes to phone texting, texts are for very lite covo  as like who texts now a days unless you're like my dad (65) and not in the loop of facebook lol, text to organise a coffee date, coffee is very non committal and if u hit it off u can progress from there, if u get  her on facebook u can chat for a bit on their , i'd suggest keeping facebook convo light hearted and fun nothing too serious make her laugh and tap into the authentic. Hope it goes really well for you but, if not then keep your heaad up and get back out there.

[Breakingthewall]

Above all, do not appear desperate or obsessive. women reward a certain indifference and feel very repelled by those in need

Edited November 12, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[The0Self]

22 hours ago, Someone here said:

I asked her if she likes sushi and she said yes and then we kinda just went on our way. 

I don’t know what to do now… I never ask random girls for their phone number. I approach and ask if the girl is interested in a talkn.

Do I call her? Or text? Or text and then call if she replies so that I know if she’s interested or not?

i suck at texting and don’t know how to start. I heard it’s good to wait some time but I told her I wanted to make plans this week. We both work nights but idk if she up at night while not working since we have different schedules. I’m really excited to hang out with her and this is the first time I have gotten someone’s number. Any advice is greatly appreciated

I must say I'm so happy and excited.

First of all, congratulations on the milestone!

Congrats! ? 

Close rate, from number to sex, is 10% at best for the most advanced guys in the game btw (anyone saying otherwise is either 1. not doing primarily cold approach, 2. lying, or 3. ignorant, or all 3), so definitely focus the brunt of you efforts on getting more numbers… but do follow up with this one as best you can, to get the practice.

About waiting being a good thing — that is a myth. The earlier you follow up, the better.

It would be better if you already made plans, but still, at least you mentioned an activity — that’s infinitely better than not doing so!

Text or call her (call is probably best if you really hit it off with this girl, otherwise text) and before you set up plans, ask her when she’s free this week, rather than suggesting a day and time, because if you suggest the day and time it’s likely she’s busy during it, and you’ll just have to hope you don’t suggest like 5 times and each time she’s busy ?— so ask for when she’s free and then see if you can work her in your schedule (if your schedule is open that will of course be easy).

Make sure you have about 3 hours free (attempt to spend time at your place or hers after, and while on the date, suggest some kind of activity, preferably one you’ve already talked about with her, like even Netflix etc i.e. “we should watch x after this”). So… Prior to the date, most likely by text, ask if she’d be

“down to hang out after to [watch a movie / split a bottle of wine / some activity at your place], assuming we have chemistry of course .”

Date should last about 45-90 minutes. Don’t try to impress her; there’s no need to win her over, you are enough. She’s not on a pedestal, you’re just two humans in the exact same boat. Neither one of you is wholly responsible for making the interaction go well — she will want it to go well just as much as you… very much unlike a cold approach, wherein you are responsible for carrying the conversation… The same is not true on a date!.. So you can relax. You should both be contributing roughly equally to the conversation. Talk about many topics at one time, gravitating toward the best ones, while making sure you are consistently starting new conversation threads from time to time, via saying whatever comes to mind and speaking with no filter… if she reacts negatively, to either a conversation topic, or to physicality (which you should be attempting throughout), then simply calibrate after the fact (never before) by playing it off as a joke / as no big deal.

Do not assume that if she goes home with you, she’s agreed to have sex with you. In fact, you might even want to make it explicitly clear that you have no sexual expectations — if you DO have sexual expectations, get rid of them… That will only help you — it’s most congruent with the man any woman truly wants most. If you have sexual expectations, that’s a dead giveaway that you aren’t currently expressing the optimal vibe for success with women… another even bigger dead giveaway is if you feel like you have to do something to win her over — that should be your main signal to be alerted to; it tells you you’re not in the optimal frame… The optimal frame should feel like she’d be crazy not to be spending her time with you / why wouldn’t she

Edited November 12, 2022 by The0Self