Women Should Become Better People For You To Get Love

[something_else]

@Mesopotamian Mate you need to go outside, touch grass, and talk to some girls

You’ve been thinking about dating a relationships too much. Time to take some action, less thinking.

[Mesopotamian]

17 minutes ago, Consept said:

How are you getting on with that? 

Why do you need a proof for that? why don't you try it for yourself? 

 

 

[Mesopotamian]

3 minutes ago, something_else said:

Mate you need to go outside, touch grass, and talk to some girls

You’ve been thinking about dating a relationships too much. Time to take some action, less thinking.

such a low quality responses. Typical Ad Hominem fallacy

[something_else]

8 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

such a low quality responses. Typical Ad Hominem fallacy

Mate this is a self-development forum, I’m giving you practical advice based on my impression of you, you can either choose to take it or ignore it. 

I’m not trying to debate you.

[Mesopotamian]

1 minute ago, something_else said:

Mate this is a self-development forum, I’m giving you practical advice based on my impression of you, you can either choose to take it or ignore it. 

I’m not trying to debate you.

you look like somebody who's triggered though.. why?

[something_else]

1 minute ago, Mesopotamian said:

you look like somebody who's triggered though.. why?

I have no interest in wherever you want to take this.

I wish you the best and hope you are able to get the results with girls you want 

[Mesopotamian]

@something_else I wish you a great day/night ! take care

[thepixelmonk]

20 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

such a low quality responses. Typical Ad Hominem fallacy

It's true though, this thread reeks of inexperience.

26 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

It might sound odd, but I took a vow to block any woman that would 'fall for me'. My new dogma for now is that if you cannot become a best friend with a woman and forge mutual respect, then there's no solid foundation to build anything upon.

I feel that falling for somebody is in a way similar to acting foolishly while you're under alcohol, doing stuff later that you are definitely going to regret and trying to distance yourself from, hence the term 'break up'

It's exactly the opposite. In the real world you are going to have an extremely difficult time finding and building any sort of lasting relationship that does not have that initial chemistry and attraction.

[Mesopotamian]

1 minute ago, thepixelmonk said:

It's exactly the opposite. In the real world you are going to have an extremely difficult time finding and building any sort of lasting relationship that does not have that initial chemistry and attraction.

I don't know, the Internet gives you lots of possibility, and if you have freedom to travel, then why do you need attraction to start with? 

Seems like you're thinking it is extremely difficult to start with, and you feel that the 'cheat codes' are absolute necessities. 

According to your mindset, what chances do people who are born with deformities have in this life?

Can you tell somebody who has deformities to his face that he will have no chance of getting love unless he plays this game?

[Consept]

29 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

Why do you need a proof for that? why don't you try it for yourself?

I don't need proof for myself, its great what you say and I agree it would be amazing not to care about attraction etc. So your solution would be to try and get with girls you're not attracted to and love them deeply, that will sort out all the issues you have outlined as well

[Mesopotamian]

1 minute ago, Consept said:

I don't need proof for myself, its great what you say and I agree it would be amazing not to care about attraction etc. So your solution would be to try and get with girls you're not attracted to and love them deeply, that will sort out all the issues you have outlined as well

I mean just try to clear your mind that you need to meet attractive girls, and whenever you are in the presence of one, you feel the need to keep this notion on your mind.

How cool of an interaction would be if you would stop rating people based on their attractiveness? Maybe a sexy lady dancing in the club isn't dancing to bring attention to her, maybe she's just wanting to have a moment of freedom, so why would I want to stare at her body and let my imagination go wild about how I should approach her, and if she's suitable to me..etc?

How cool if you would to start see people as people without attaching any sort of mainstream notions to that?  

[Consept]

37 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

How cool if you would to start see people as people without attaching any sort of mainstream notions to that?  

It would be great but why would I want to go against my biology? I'm not saying you shouldn't see women as people obviously do that, but you can't ignore your biology which is in the mix with your interactions, you can't repress it but you can let it be there and choose when or not to act on it. You don't need to demonise your biology. 

Could you do it though, be with women you find unattractive? Or would you aim to be able to do it?

[Tyler Robinson]

22 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

I mean just try to clear your mind that you need to meet attractive girls, and whenever you are in the presence of one, you feel the need to keep this notion on your mind.

How cool of an interaction would be if you would stop rating people based on their attractiveness? Maybe a sexy lady dancing in the club isn't dancing to bring attention to her, maybe she's just wanting to have a moment of freedom, so why would I want to stare at her body and let my imagination go wild about how I should approach her, and if she's suitable to me..etc?

How cool if you would to start see people as people without attaching any sort of mainstream notions to that?  

Bypassing attraction is a very difficult thing. It's very inherently programmed into our genetics. I also don't see what's wrong with it. It's how nature wants it. Why would you want to challenge nature? Nature knows best, it knows what's best for any given circumstance. 

Lovely graceful women would make loving caring mothers and healthy fit brave men would make protective fathers. I don't see how mother nature went wrong in creating these attraction traits. 

Attraction ultimately boils down to reproduction, children and procreation. Sex is not fundamentally about pleasure. Biologically sex is a way to produce babies.  For a baby to survive the harsh environment of the world, the father will need to be a strong provider and protector so nobody can harm the baby and the father is always able to rescue the baby in every condition or circumstance. The mother has to be loving and supportive and someone who can be caring to the baby so their  needs are always met on time and the baby survives. That's why men are attracted to loving, graceful, obedient and kind women who are also beautiful and loyal. A woman who is not loyal might even ditch her child. 

I see that mother nature is working perfectly in synchronicity with what a child needs as parents. 

A father who cannot provide or protect and mother who is neglectful, unkind, harsh are very dangerous to a child. 

That's why these traits are unlikable in mating and are automatically weeded out by social evolution. 

Dating is the most Darwinian thing on this planet, more Darwinian than any other system. Since dating is the birthplace of evolution and continuation, it will exhibit all the core aspects of Darwinian reality. 

Yes dating is brutal. So is survival. But in the bigger picture it's compassionate, it allows the stronger to survive and doesn't exploit the weak. It let's the weak auto-eliminate itself, thus not perpetuating its suffering anymore. 

This does not mean that the weak is not deserving of love. It only means that the weak is just not capable of withstanding the load of survival. And therefore justice must happen, it has to be fair. 

Will you build a house on stone or will you build a house on toothpicks? 

Darwinian theory follows the principle of fairness and justice, only the mighty can survive, but also the loving. We call God the Almighty for a reason. Hate results in destruction. So we don't expect the Almighty to look hateful. The countenance is pleasant and graceful. 

Dating in some way reflects God or Godness indirectly. It shows that the mighty and loving will survive and procreate. It does not show hate for the weak but it takes on the battles that the weak probably cannot fight and will thus perish leading to death of all or survival of none. Thus the bigger brother has to fight on the battlefield and the younger one is absolved of such responsibility. 

But victory and reward goes to the one who wins and the one who toils. It will not be fair for the older one to have won battles and the younger ones to enjoy the rewards. 

It won't be fair that women sleep with weaker men who don't do anything to help her whereas the ones who protect her are the strong ones and get nothing. So it's only natural that women reward brave men by admiring and wanting them. 

Survival belongs to the one who survived. The one who actually fought the battle. So they rightly deserve to pass off their genes and they rightly deserve to continue surviving since they fought for it too. So mother nature bestows on them the gift of procreation and survival. 

The universe desires the mighty to survive and the good to win. So it has always been and so it will always be. 

 

 

[axiom]

The stuff that men and women find attractive at first glance doesn't have that much to do with what they actually want.

All that men or women ultimately want is to feel as loved as possible. 

Love can take many forms. Beauty is a type of love. Wealth is a type of love. And these things can provide some limited satisfaction. But within the context of a relationship, the highest form of love is to feel - and to make someone else feel - truly understood, appreciated and admired for who they are. This trumps everything else a thousand times over.

Relationships based too heavily on beauty, success or convenience typically end in bitterness because the foundation was never there. We only ever seek these things out of a sense of incompleteness anyway. Getting a few spiritual ducks in a row before embarking on a relationship can help a lot.

[Christoph Werner]

5 hours ago, something_else said:

This reads like cope.

”The world is too hard for me, make it easier, make other people change”

Agreed. 

 

6 hours ago, Mesopotamian said:

some women seem unable to let go of their natural tendencies to look for a provider and a protector. 

What's the mainstream remedy for that? the guy should work his ass off, goes to the gym, start making money, which open the door for countless amount of corrupt people who want to use this situation to sell him all sorts of things and distract him in his journey to become the person who's going to be worthy to be loved by somebody. 

The problem is that this doesn't work at the long term! and after a woman finds her desired man with all these qualities, now she's going to live in fear of losing him to another woman, since now he is more desired in his new state of being, but also if he ever decided to let go of his money-making journey, she's going to lose him anyways and the natural tendencies to search for a better protector is going to kick in once again!

@Mesopotamian You are putting man - woman dynamics in a way to narrow box. That's not at all how it is. 

6 hours ago, Mesopotamian said:

The alternative to that is how about a woman becomes a better person, become aware of her natural tendencies and don't act upon them, and starts evaluating a man according to so many factors other than how much he earns, and what is he look like.

Why is a nerd unworthy of love? cuz he's not at the gym building muscles! 

There are many women like this. I suggest not telling others to become a better person.

How about you accept yourself as you are? Then you don't need "people to get love". That never worked for anyone, mostly leads to dissapointment or disfunctional relationships. 

Once you accept yourself, the energy that you carry will be very attractive to women. In my experience they are not so much looking for what you are describing. In my experience women are crazy about love. If you have a lot of love, women will like you. Because if you carry love energy, that means there is no fear, no guilt, no regret, no needyness. Women like that.

Women are very sensitive to your energy. So if you project onto women you needing love from them, you will probably get alot of rejection other than if you have something they want like a lot of money or all that stuff that you think a woman wants. 

 

[Gidiot]

its so great not needing another human to feel worthy of life dont expect to change women or men let them be as ignorant as possible and naturally learn from their mistakes or not. I personally find it terrible when someone puts expectations on you before they even know you. i actually think i could date an unattractive person and go against my biology quite easily but im much different than the average person, i couldnt care less about family children, te expectation of providing for someone( if i provided for someone which is a natural byproduct of love, it would be spontaneous and in my own way, not out of some silly expectation. ) or what material things they could provide for me. i care about the intimacy and love, there is truth to making yourself an "attractive man" of course, but theres also much truth to not giving a shit and not playing the dating game and allowing for the universe to surprise you. 

OP just compromise with women or be brave enough to not settle for anything less than someone who can put all those expectations aside, this is the path im on.

Edited November 9, 2022 by Gidiot

[Tyler Robinson]

3 hours ago, Christoph Werner said:

Agreed. 

 

@Mesopotamian You are putting man - woman dynamics in a way to narrow box. That's not at all how it is. 

There are many women like this. I suggest not telling others to become a better person.

How about you accept yourself as you are? Then you don't need "people to get love". That never worked for anyone, mostly leads to dissapointment or disfunctional relationships. 

Once you accept yourself, the energy that you carry will be very attractive to women. In my experience they are not so much looking for what you are describing. In my experience women are crazy about love. If you have a lot of love, women will like you. Because if you carry love energy, that means there is no fear, no guilt, no regret, no needyness. Women like that.

Women are very sensitive to your energy. So if you project onto women you needing love from them, you will probably get alot of rejection other than if you have something they want like a lot of money or all that stuff that you think a woman wants. 

 

 

 

[Arcangelo]

9 hours ago, Consept said:

You say women should go against their natural tendencies, i propose you go against your natural tendencies for finding a young looking, attractive woman and go for a physically unattractive woman. You only want an attractive, healthy looking woman because it signals that she would be fertile, with modern science you can quite easily check if she is fertile, so all of that really is unnecessary. Just because shes unattractive doesnt mean she doesnt deserve love. Next time you cant find love, consider questioning your underlying attraction and you may end up with someone.  

Genius!

[Mesopotamian]

@Tyler Robinson

It is no surprise that humanity has gone overboard with the concept of survival, it has become a destructive pattern, and humans are actually right now are forging a future hell for the future generations to come with the climate change and such.

Humanity has survived good deal, and beyond what's necessary, and I feel the terms and conditions of that need to change.

Women of the world are suffering because their men, driven by the BS concept of basic survival are becoming closer to monkeys than intelligent rational beings. 

In most countries of the world the poverty is there because of corruption, not because of the lack of resources, and it all connects with this random concept that survival is brutal and hard and demanding, etc..

I feel when the problem isn't availability of resources, but rather corruption and bad management, then this is a solid proof that humanity are surviving, but we need emotional intelligence to govern us.

It is sad to see a woman that's living in a first world nation is unable to let go or override her natural instincts which as you say mother nature was wise enough to bless or curse her with whichever you see it.

Truth could be that the weak man today isn't weak because of inherit wo-wo mysterious reason, but the weak who's been rejected by woman is simply unable or unwanting to climb on the shoulders of others and be at higher positions of the money chain, he chooses instead to connect with himself, emotions and universal intelligence. 

It's a truth that most men who are able to go up the chain, they need to turn a blind eye to all the inequalities and faults, everything wrong with this world and act as everything is fine! a woman who's in for that also is a participant in the crime, and her reward that she's going to get a cold-hearted man, who has long ago lost touch with himself and became corrupt, and then the process of reforming starts, so good luck to you trying to reform a person who in the name of survival has decided to turn a blind eye to all the corruption and evil happening in this world.

 

[Mesopotamian]

10 hours ago, Consept said:

It would be great but why would I want to go against my biology? I'm not saying you shouldn't see women as people obviously do that, but you can't ignore your biology which is in the mix with your interactions, you can't repress it but you can let it be there and choose when or not to act on it. You don't need to demonise your biology. 

Could you do it though, be with women you find unattractive? Or would you aim to be able to do it?

I am not advocating to shut down your biology, but I feel that you need to clear your creative thinking path, just try to stop your mind from thinking of women as potential partners, and after that whole new level of connection is going to be opened up to you!

What you call biology, you need to not indulge yourself into that as soon as you become aware of its existence, It is really cumbersome to always bear notions that are related to that, not only you need to think about evaluating if a person is a good potential for you, but you need additional filters in order to let you selectively activate this mode of thinking with females you meet. An example of that is that you need to choose to see or unsee people as potential romantic partners based on their age and their relationship to you. I am proposing that this mechanism of viewing the world is cumbersome and therefore better to let go of it altogether.

Start thinking of women as people, seeing that in reality there's no substantial difference between your 5 old years niece, and between the hottest girl that you can see in a club. I guarantee that you'll be able to connect better with women kind..