Help Me Settle These Doubts About The Selfdevelopment Business And Business As Whole Please

[Steph1988]

I have a few doubts about the whole business thing this is due to experiences in real life with friends,reading,thinking about it and just intuition i guess

Ok so first let me say i am no specialist in anything i can cook reasonably well but not being interested of surrendering everything to it, same for playing guitar which i can do well, i love to read but that is just an interest as well.

 This makes me no specialist in anything but more a generalist and i kind of like that but i wonder do i miss out on something? or have i not found my main purpose yet? I am certainly never bored but i don't jump out of bed because of my all encompassing purpose either.And sometimes i wonder that is maybe not that bad.

I have my own humbleness about the things i do and to build a business in my eyes implies that u want to sacrifice a lot of stuff. It means selling something you truly believe in and this seems to be kind of a moral choice as well to me in the case of building a self development business and if u have not mastered yourself to a very high degree how the hell can u begin a business in this then.

A good friend of mine started his self development business a few years ago with some others but all were broke, had some bad habits left, working jobs on the side to pay bills so limiting the time spent on the business. it was doomed to fail and it did.seem to me they just decided on a whim to jump on the bandwagon of the massive self development trend. 

Self development is an ancient thing done by the ancient Greeks for example and adding to that and evolving it seems a good thing i think. But if u decide to start your self development business you have to ask yourself how can i add to this because the market at first glance seems incredibly saturated. So if you are interested in this and try to build your empire it seems to me u have to go all out on it. If not why not give your insights away for free on you tube, in real life among people who need help and point to good books written by people who gave their life for it instead of paying huge sums of money to hobbyists, I see a dark side in monetizing everything.

This leads me to the question ''What can i add creatively what is not already there''

And too be honest i don't know. I can always point to people more skilled or articulate and experienced so i tend to do that.

There is also a contradiction because many preach on the one had to be a minimalist, too be happy in the moment without stuff. and on the other hand building a business is seen as a staple in self development. and businesses need consumers.

then i saw this very interesting comment on this forum i find it lets just say interesting.

"Create your own online product or seminar or book and charge hefty for it. Don't care if already a thousand other people created the same content for free. After all nobody gonna know how much of a spiritual master you are if you don't have a thousand dollar product to sell to people who don't have the money but need it the most. Justify it with the phrase "You are abundand, so get the cash and pay for it, it's a self help product after all, it's the only thing that is worth buying anyway." Don't worry about the content of the product, it's just info you found from other spiritual gurus anyway. Don't make anything new up, don't even try. You will fail at this task. This product will rip off enough cash from miserable deperate people who need the cash for far more important stuff but who are so gullible that they willingly swallow ever glimpse of hope you throw at them so that you forever have a selfish and comfortable lifestyle..aka enlightened lifestyle with only sitting and dreaming your whole life.''

I am a little torn in this one what are your views? 

 

[Flare]

First of all, if you wanna do anything new - get rid of your limiting beliefs first. They're holding you back in so many ways. They become a self fulfilling prophecy. Framing is everything. There are no such things, that "don't work out". Every path is right path - if you like how it plays out or not. But you gotta be willing to walk the path.

This being said, the real reason why you wanna do this/what for, in my opinion is that you wanna get up every day to do it. I mean let's be honest (also goes @ your quote), I see so many miserable youtube channels. I see so may people trying to self development business, because it has become "the thing to do". If you're made for this, go do it. But there is a wide range out there of people trying to make videos like Leo and many other great Youtubers; recycling stuff. Do you really wanna die thinking I did this 5-10 years of my life, just copying stuff that other great people already did? Holding people back from getting real authentic input? But don't take this to personally, if you do however are really good at it go do it. The question I would always ask myself is: Can I add value? 

Additional thing: Selfe development becomes an addiction more and more. No Buddha/Christ/whatever did consciously do self development. They did it because there was a calling, something telling them it's needed, and necessary. If I watch some people in this community, there is actually an addiction. Through self development they can reframe many things, that's not a bad thing in the first place, but after a time they need it. They need an illusion "to get better everyday". Well what's that, you're already complete. Exactly about what the quote is talking about, people just wanna be enlightened and are so blinded that they don't realize that they already are. They need to take a step back and be able to look at this from more far away. + You additionally get addicted to a community "guiding" you and "helping" you, making it impossible for you to stand on your own feet.

Your motto shouldn't be: Let's make my addiction my purpose. (I don't think that's your case, just to make it clear here.)

Since I found it quite vague what you said, I would recommend you to ask you these question: 

Who am i? What am I trying to get out of life? And last but not least: What do I want/have to contribute to the world? 

If you're not sure, you most likely have to try some things. (Hopefully with low risk) 

Quick summarize, bc it may sounded kinda negative what I said here: Make clear your purpose is not an addiction. Define your purpose as clear if possible. Get rid of limiting believes, or otherwise you will make an devastating self fulfilling prophecy. 

When you got all this together, go all out. But you decide. No one else. No tipps on the internet. It's your life.

Only the best mate!

[Steph1988]

@Flare Thank you for the feedback.

I initially wanted to go in on all the points u made i think it is best to let my own thoughts settle for now, writing down my thoughts is helpful to me and the feedback very much.

gonna think about it!

[Nahm]

A admittedly cold suggestion, but I think it will help you so here it goes-

Try posting what you want to say in just a few sentences. Try to write and speak this way. After a while, you will think that way and then, you may have the clarity you seek. 

[Steph1988]

@Nahm Ok but how can u make somewhat nuanced point then?

Leo's video's are long and he says he has to to make a nuanced point and about this topic i admit that i find it hard to express my thoughts about it.

i read it over and i still think it is quite clear but maybe it seems vague because it is more about a feeling that i have and that is sometimes hard to put into words.

I also have to say that i since i wrote a few things on the forum and reading it back it is really helpful i never done that and just doing it and reading back a few doubts are slowly disapearing actually i still have them but they are maybe less an issue very strange.

Edited February 28, 2017 by Steph1988

[Nahm]

4 hours ago, Steph1988 said:

@Nahm Ok but how can u make somewhat nuanced point then?

Leo's video's are long and he says he has to to make a nuanced point and about this topic i admit that i find it hard to express my thoughts about it.

i read it over and i still think it is quite clear but maybe it seems vague because it is more about a feeling that i have and that is sometimes hard to put into words.

I also have to say that i since i wrote a few things on the forum and reading it back it is really helpful i never done that and just doing it and reading back a few doubts are slowly disapearing actually i still have them but they are maybe less an issue very strange.

be direct with your words and u will begin to think that way.  an excercise would be to write "i want ________" over and over with different things u want.  could be a big house, could be clarity.   the excercise will get u focused on what you want vs thinking about the hows and whys and blah blah blah

[Steph1988]

@Nahm Ok that is a good exercise something to work with i'm all up for that.

Don't u think about hows and whys though? What do u think about that quote for example does that put u to thinking?

if i see something like that my mind goes haywire i don't want to condemn it instantly that would be boring but seeing that post got reps and seeing no one addressing it just puts me to thinking.

So for the record is your philosophy in this the following?''do not think too much and get to your goals after you identified them''

[Nahm]

I could be completely off but I get the impression what you realily want is to make changes and you are not sure why it is hard for you. I suggest less thinking is better because your thinking might be what is keeping you from progressing. (Thoughts - bad emotions - no motivation) I suggest DOING something different. Get out of your head. Almost anything different. To 'wake' you up. I would make a list of suggestions, but it could be distracting. It's the doing, not the learning that is the change. Learning is of course helpful, but I get the impression you are beyond ready for a change. Pick something really small that you want to change and do it and let us know what it was and how it felt.

That quote is just something you're reading and talking about while someone else is changing what they want to change. 

Stop looking for answers. The answer is you doing something different. Get a large poster board and a black marker and a wall, and write down what you want. You'll see it everyday, and that is a big change. Over time you are priming yourself, influencing yourself by changing your environment.

[Steph1988]

No you are not off i am taking action however, this week i am gonna make a change in my job for example w'll see how it goes.

I am gonna write down the stuff i want that is a good idea but i think it keep it simple because maybe i gotta go more with the flow maybe as i am literally tired of thinking up grand visions for myself. 

10 hours ago, Nahm said:

Stop looking for answers. The answer is you doing something different

Ok i think that is right 

10 hours ago, Nahm said:

That quote is just something you're reading and talking about while someone else is changing what they want to change. 

I don't get this at all tho and i disagree completely that is extremely unsatisfying but whatever lets leave it at that and thx for the tips.

[Nahm]

@Steph1988 Sorry man. I was trying to be pushy in the color of 'wake up'. I've been wondering how you are doing? Have you written down anything you want?  Any progress with the change at work you mentioned? Whatsup?

[Leo Gura]

@Steph1988 You'll find this is a general problem with ANY business niche you want to enter. This is the problem of marketing. How do you differentiate yourself in a very crowded marketplace and offer something new and worthwhile?

That's THE KEY question you'll have to solve with ANY business niche, be it personal dev, making cars, selling drugs, or running a casino. All worthwhile marketplaces are crowded and highly competitive. And no one will answer this question for you. Only you can answer it. This is what makes or breaks an entrepreneur. You cannot be an entrepreneur with a me-too, I'll-just-do-what-that-guy-is-doing attitude.

This doesn't mean it's impossible. It just means it's very challenging, which means you need every advantage you can get, which means you need to be rock fucking solid about your life purpose. You cannot compete when you aren't clear about your passions and you have no spiritual connection to your work. Your work must have a sense of destiny about it. As in: "I will do this no matter what! I will solve every obstacle that comes my way. Nothing will stop me from success in this field because I love it too much!!!" << That's the point of finding your life purpose. That's what the hero's journey is about. It's not a pragmatic calculation about which marketplace is easiest or most lucrative, or whatever is most natural to your socially programmed self (i.e., personal dev). It's about what YOU LOVE MOST. The love is what carries you through the torment of the journey.

The journey will be long and treacherous. The stakes are real. So don't screw around and REALLY nail down your purpose now.

The problem with personal development is that too many people want to take it on as a life purpose just because it's all they know. They're not thinking enough outside the box. It does you no good to adopt my life purpose for example. That will only hurt you. When I see people doing that, and taking this sort of me-too attitude with personal develop YouTube channels, it makes me sorry for them, because I know they will fail. Because they are doing it like a zombie because they haven't thought of anything better. They are totally underestimating the difficulty. And they're not being authentic enough with themselves. They're not thinking about their purpose deeply enough. Adopting a purpose based on social conditioning is a really huge trap.

When you REALLY connect with your life purpose, no competition will deter you. Your love will defeat all obstacles. It will take you some trial and error to connect with your purpose to such a degree. Have patience and really work the issue with faith.

Once you have your purpose, you'll be on a path to creating original work which will stand out. No one can out-you you.

[Steph1988]

@Nahm U were not pushy i didn't feel it that way at least i think u are right in what i have to to do i appreciate that very much. I just disagree about that one thing i place things under scrutiny and i look for the morals and values in things. And one of the most important things to me is to ask what actually IS valuable i am not just concerned with well being. But maybe i'm wrong who knows i have a long way ahead of me.

@Leo Gura  Yes thx i know what u talk about and i know what that feels like. up to this point i only felt it occasionally it is one of the best feelings in the world i think but it had eluded me mostly i am gonna try on more new things now.

I heard in an interview with one of my favorite writers Robert Green that he had over 80 jobs before he began writing so i guess i am not the only one.