First date went perfect, second date complete disaster

[actually]

Met the girl on a dating app. I first thought well maybe just sex and thats it. Went to her place and

saw a beautiful girl. We clicked instantly, lots of talking, lots of serious talking as well. Did not expect it to go like this.

We went outside for a walk and she was constantly touching me and it felt nice, so we were walking and she was talking alot so I just

shut her up with a kiss and it felt kinda special. We kissed alot during the date and she could not stop touching me and yada yada.

 

Ok so second date comes, 4 days later. We went out to a restaurant and I sense she was becoming kinda dominant. It felt weird because

usually I am the dominant one with a woman. I didnt had alot to say and wasn't being witty or making jokes like I usually do. I sensed that she

saw that and didn't like it. Was not paying alot of attention to me, constantly looking away to other people etc. This actually made me a bit insecure

as I was thinking im fucking it up. (Did not have this feeling at all before, I 100% knew she was into me and wasn;t stressing about it.)

Ok so afterwards went to her place, started drinking a bit and lots of talking. It went a bit better but still she throw 100 shit tests on me to proof if I can

dominate her socially. It all was a bit too much and I felt attacked in a way lol. Could not handle the amount of punches she was throwing. And maybe they weren;t but I could'nt take apart which where punches and which were just fun little jokes. So instantly went back to overthinking if I was fucking it up or not. 

 

Surprisingly we started kissing again and she was biting my lip insisting she wanna fuck, so we did and it was pretty ok. She is rough in bed as hell but I didn't let her take control in the bedroom. The sex was actually nasty disrespectful and she liked it ALOT. Anyways afterwards we started talking about the date and she told me what I was already feeling. I was very dominant with sex, but outside the bedroom she felt like she couldn't be herself as she had the feeling she was insulting me or having me on defense mode. I understood and told her I was feeling the same. 

Told her OK maybe we are no match, still went on chilling with her and having a bit of fun with drinking. Next morning I wake up next to her and just thought whatever Ill pack my shit and leave. I was very distant to her and just left.

 

What I want to know is why the fuck did I fuck up the second date? It felt like an insult when she told me I wasn't dominant socially enough. It actually hurt my pride and ego a bit. And I know thats not good and need to work on that.. I didn't felt masculine at all anymore and thats where it went downhill fast. 

 

 

[NoSelfSelf]

Only thing you fucking up imo is her getting in your head...

[Heart of Space]

Sounds like two immature young people who are extremely horny and insecure.  

[integral]

There is an idea of what a masculine man is in your mind and you’re deeply attached to it.

Let it go

She is the best mirror to who you are that you’ll ever get at this point in your life. Keep her around it’s an amazing growth path for you.

All the bullshit within you is gushing out at the seams, it can’t be contained much longer and once it explodes you’ll get it out of your system and be free from it.

Edited November 8, 2022 by integral

[LordFall]

You don't have the reference experiences yet to be comfortable with that kind of woman. Not really a big deal, the more you do it the more natural it will become. A lot of particularly hot women are very socially calibrated and what you would call socially dominant so if you're not used to it, it's hard to keep up. 

You're basically at the concious incompetence then you'll be able to handle it while having to think through it and then it'll just happen naturally. 

I'm explaining it logically but its the same thing as @integral is saying. Grow, develop more and go on more dates with girls like that(if you like them) and you'll be the cowboy in no time champ. 

[StarStruck]

Don't see this date as a failure. Be thankful that she was so upfront towards you. Now you have valuable feedback. You know exactly what to work on: confidence, masculinity, leading, and groundedness. How old is she?

Edited November 8, 2022 by StarStruck

[actually]

10 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Don't see this date as a failure. Be thankful that she was so upfront towards you. Now you have valuable feedback. You know exactly what to work on: confidence, masculinity, leading, and groundedness. How old is she?

She is 21

thank you all for the feedback it has really helped me. Still not sure if I should text her to see her again or just take my loss and thats it. What do you guys think? If yes, what should I text her? Just what im really thinking or be playful and keep conversation light hearted and not too serious

Edited November 9, 2022 by actually