Conscious use of ADHD medicine?

[Kazman]

Hello everyone!

 

I've never really liked the idea of taking any kind of medication.
I've been a stern student of self development and enlightenment work for many years. Studying books, doing meditation, working on building a powerful life etc.

I have a good job as a manager working with creatives in the games industry. I have two kids and a good marriage. In my extra time I'm leading a mens group.
I think a lot is possible through physiological/spiritual purification and hard work and dedication, suffering for what you know is right. These things are number one for me.

However, I've realized this past year that I most likely have attention deficit disorder (ADD).

I haven't gotten an offical diagnose but I've read a lot about it and it makes perfect sense. Last week I was able to try out some meds and the feeling was INCREDIBLE. I was able to work in a MUCH MORE FOCUSED way. All those methods for being structured and focused, I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO EXECUTE THEM FULLY. 

I know what you're gonna say: amphetamine is bad for your body, it's better to train your brain and do chelation etc.
In many ways I feel that way too… But there's just been so many fights between me and my wife about how I'm not structured and always running 1000 simultaneous projects that take up all my time, and I always want to spend more time doing them.

I think of myself as a great father but when it comes to building healthy habits for my kids, regarding things I find boring, I'm failing. Things like brushing teeth in the morning, it just doesn't seem to happen.

At work my number one feedback I constantly receive is to be more structured.

My ADD is contributing to a lot of inner stress and anxiety because I always think of problems in the back of my mind, unless I'm FULLY IMMERSED in a project I love, but it's not tenable to always be fully immersed in my passion as an adult. I still need to pay the bills and plan the lunches for my children and 1000s other things. Taking the medicine was a NIGHT AND DAY difference. Way more of a difference than I've experienced through years of meditation, consciousness retreats, fasting, heroic doses of psychedelics or reading many books from Leo's book list. If I start medicating, it is NOT something I'm doing on a whim because I'm lazy.

 

TL;DR
Is there a conscious middle path of using any kind of ADHD medicine without too much collateral damage?
I'm thinking like once a week, but even once a month could make a big difference for me.

 

What are YOUR experience and learnings?

[Michael569]

If one a week works for you then there is probably no harm in that if it improves the overall quality of your life.

You may benefit from reading Cal Newport's Deep Work too. Has helped me quite a bit with being less distracted 

[Snader]

Maybe going through the diagnostic process with a doctor would not be a bad idea. That way the medication could be regulated fitting your needs while still keeping it safe healthwise. There's also some amphetamine-free ADD medication available. 

I tried some ADD medicine out of curiosity and the affect was significant on me as well. Eventhough that stuff is available for me and it doesn't contain any addictive or harmful substances, I've decided not to use them. It gives me a great mental boost, but I don't want my mind to depend on any non-organic additives.

Although, I manage well without so can't talk on your behalf. If it brings balance to your somewhat chaotic life without too much of side-effects, then maybe it's not a bad alternative.

Edited November 7, 2022 by Snader

[Heart of Space]

I would recommend doing literally anything but taking Adderall.  

It would be a mistake.  

[Ulax]

I'd recommend being wary of advice from neurotypical folk on adhd things. I'm sometimes astounded by the arrogance.

Re when to take the drugs, I'd say experiment around with it, and see what you like. Maybe get an ADHD coach to help you.

[ThePoint]

21 hours ago, Kazman said:

Last week I was able to try out some meds and the feeling was INCREDIBLE. I was able to work in a MUCH MORE FOCUSED way. All those methods for being structured and focused, I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO EXECUTE THEM FULLY. 

Hey @Kazman What medication did you try?

9 hours ago, Heart of Space said:

I would recommend doing literally anything but taking Adderall.  

It would be a mistake.  

@Heart of Space Why?

[Kazman]

Thank you for all the suggestions.

The medication is called Elvanse, it's a swedish brand, the active component is dexamfetamine.

[Ima Freeman]

@Kazman

ADHD is a sign of bad brain health.

Optimizing your health should be your long time goal, while you take the medication for 'nootropic' purposes.
 

[ThePoint]

On 09/11/2022 at 0:45 AM, Ima Freeman said:

Optimizing your health should be your long time goal

How do you do that? @Ima Freeman

[Ima Freeman]

@ThePoint

Toxin avoidance
Remove amalgam savely, reduce exposure to EMFs, check cosmetics for toxic ingredients,....
Detoxification (lots of studying necessary)
Drinking spring water
Eating organic food exclusively
Consume bitter herbs
Exposure to sunlight
Good sleep
Avoiding chronic drug use
Use your body, go for a walk, hiking
Stretching
Exercise
Sauna
Mindfulness-practices
Having good friends 
Do something creative
Break addictive habbits
Do not consume fear-mongering/anxiety/anger inducing media
If your a male: do not masturbate too often
Do extensive bloodwork and use quality supplements to fill up on necessary nutrient deficiencies
.
.
.


 

[JonasVE12]

I have gone down that road not too long ago. Everyone says in the beginning 'I'll take it just once a week', but then more often than not, you'll end up taking it more than once a week. And before you know it, you are hooked. 

I never expected me to become so attached to the medication. I was the person who would say to you with 100% certainty 'I can never become addicted'. But I got hooked very quickly and was conscious about the whole thing. I saw it happening clearly. 

I did establish boundaries in my mind so I would avoid those addiction dynamics but I rationalized past it. So you can never have certainty about whether or not you will stay true to those boundaries. 

The emotional state that you will experience with those medications is euphoria and your body will crave it back. It also brings relief and so it's a place of escape. You constantly have to fight the urges to take the medication and there will be times that you just give up and take it. If you step past that boundary once, the second time is behind the corner. 

I got a lot of work done during that period and it was productive. It did get me forward in life. I had to deal with a lot of pain as a result of that medication. The come down is very painful and you'll have to suffer through that. And also, you'll be very apathetic towards the people in your life. You'll carry a constant feeling of anger and frustration. 

And then there comes a point you'll be so frustrated that you want to quit. And then you'll be back at how you are now. Only now you realize there is nothing else you can do other than to work on finding the real solution to your problem. 

 

 

[flowboy]

On 01/12/2022 at 7:28 PM, JonasVE12 said:

I have gone down that road not too long ago. Everyone says in the beginning 'I'll take it just once a week', but then more often than not, you'll end up taking it more than once a week. And before you know it, you are hooked. 

I never expected me to become so attached to the medication. I was the person who would say to you with 100% certainty 'I can never become addicted'. But I got hooked very quickly and was conscious about the whole thing. I saw it happening clearly. 

I did establish boundaries in my mind so I would avoid those addiction dynamics but I rationalized past it. So you can never have certainty about whether or not you will stay true to those boundaries. 

The emotional state that you will experience with those medications is euphoria and your body will crave it back. It also brings relief and so it's a place of escape. You constantly have to fight the urges to take the medication and there will be times that you just give up and take it. If you step past that boundary once, the second time is behind the corner. 

I got a lot of work done during that period and it was productive. It did get me forward in life. I had to deal with a lot of pain as a result of that medication. The come down is very painful and you'll have to suffer through that. And also, you'll be very apathetic towards the people in your life. You'll carry a constant feeling of anger and frustration. 

And then there comes a point you'll be so frustrated that you want to quit. And then you'll be back at how you are now. Only now you realize there is nothing else you can do other than to work on finding the real solution to your problem. 

 

 

Pretty much exactly matches my experience.

And I have been diagnosed with ADD when I was 19.

The apathy towards people and the addictiveness eventually made me say: no thank you, I'll find other ways.

I've spent years of my life finding different things to optimize to minimize symptoms: diet, supplements, meditation, habits, tricks to structure, et cetera.

I've coached others on that stuff, with good result.

Currently, I'm doing research on how aspects of ADD can be permanently improved, without the continued use of medication or the aforementioned bag of tricks.

I've found some things that are working for me, but it took a lot of digging and reading between the lines of not very well known books.

Building tons of good habits that minimize the symptoms is no longer interesting to me.

I'm interested in what's curative, and none of the therapies that will be recommended by the current medical system are that.

Some forms of therapy that exist, but wouldn't typically be recommended for ADD, do seem to have permanent effects.

I need to experiment on myself more before I'm comfortable making recommendations publicly.

 

 

@KazmanTo answer the question: make a careful consideration about taking the medication. If you need it to save your career or marriage, it can be a good idea. But be aware that if you have a hint of an addictive personality, you'll have problems with this one.

Due to the disconnecting nature of the medication, it's easy to slip into a habit of taking it and working a lot, because it just feels good, meanwhile becoming distant to your partner and children and slowly ruining personal relationships while being unwilling to see it.

That certainly happened to me; I restarted taking the meds when I was 24 and turned into a workaholic with problems in my relationship. My ability to feel suffered.

Here's what I mean by disconnecting:

• The impulses that make for some of the symptoms of ADD (impulse to switch tasks, impulse to react to a feeling of boredom and distract oneself, impulse to change directions during a conversation or project, making it unstructured and unfinished), are impulses that originate in the emotional body or in the visceral body.
  You can verify this by 'catching' these impulses and noticing an underlying anxiety or negative emotion (feeling) or strong sense of discomfort (visceral)
• The medication that exists for ADD helps you to cut the interference from the feeling brain and the visceral brain, so that your conscious, thinking, task driven brain has all the space to calmly do what it needs. And that feels great.
• Until your relationship, either with friends, family or partner, demands that you tap into your feelings.
  Then, you may run into problems, because you need access to your feelings to connect deeply with people, have true empathy and closeness, etc.
  Not everyone runs into this issue, I hypothesize that the people who get away with it are probably keeping their doses really low, and/or they have partners that are sufficiently neurotic and in their head that they don't notice the drop in connectedness.

The above points are based on my own literature research combined with introspection.

 

See also:

 

Edited January 12, 2023 by flowboy

[Andromeda]

I also have ADHD and Modafinil helped me out very well. It is much less addictive, but the effects are of a similar degree. I used it about once to twice a week for 4 years with great success. You might want to check out modafinil.com and some other resources before trying it, you'll still need to apply responsable use strategies. 

When it comes to using amphetamines, like someone above already said, it's easy to take it more often than you'd like. So set clear boundaries for yourself and decide on which days you will use it, and do not cross those boundaries once they are set.