Why don’t I feel motivated and enjoyment when I’m playing my piano?

[Turtlelover577]

Hi, this is a little bit of a weird question. I’ve been contemplating what kind of life I want for myself and came to a couple of  conclusions. I want financial Independence, and creative and general freedom (I suppose just like most others really). 
 

I was contemplating ways that I can create this kind of life for myself and one thought I had is creating music. However, when I sit down and practice playing the piano I bought (3 years ago now) to gain the basic skills I don’t enjoy it and it feels like a chore. I’m learning in a very generic manner through an online provider that gets you to grips with the basics (finger positioning, chords etc). How can you become creative with something that you can’t even get past the basics with? Or is that a signal that playing piano is not my passion and I need to test out other interests to find out which ones I don’t find mundane even during the beginning stages of learning? 

[Phil King]

Try learning improvisation techniques. You can create unlimited music by just knowing a few scales and hand grips

This channel is great for learning new jazz improv 

[Carl-Richard]

Intrinsic motivation is generally the largest predictor of success. If you want to learn piano to become financially independent, that is extrinsic motivation. To find out what intrinsically motivates you, you need to find something that you feel compelled to do despite it not leading to an alternative outcome.

[Asayake]

What got you into music? What kind of music do you listen to? Do you listen to a lot of music? Is piano your first instrument or have you played some other instrument before?

What does your practice look like? If you only focus on technical stuff like voicings, finger positioning, chord names, scales etc. you might get bored, especially if you're a beginner.

[Turtlelover577]

30 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Intrinsic motivation is generally the largest predictor of success. If you want to learn piano to become financially independent, that is extrinsic motivation. To find out what intrinsically motivates you, you need to find something that you feel compelled to do despite it not leading to an alternative outcome.

@Carl-Richard

Yeah I can see how that would be a problem. My issue is that I’m at a stage in my life where I’m still living at home at 25 and I feel like my dependence on my parents and lack of autonomy is my biggest hurdle right now, it feels like I would do almost anything to take the first step into my own life. It’s like, I’ve never even had a girlfriend or anything so I feel like my emotional age during the worst of times is that of a 15 year old trapped in my psyche and holding me back  

Edited November 5, 2022 by Turtlelover577
Forgot to mention in the reply

[Turtlelover577]

@Phil King appreciate that ? Looks like a good channel

[aurum]

8 hours ago, Turtlelover577 said:

My issue is that I’m at a stage in my life where I’m still living at home at 25 and I feel like my dependence on my parents and lack of autonomy is my biggest hurdle right now, it feels like I would do almost anything to take the first step into my own life.

Do you have a job?

That would be an easy first step to getting some basic autonomy. Get a decent job, afford to pay your own bills and move out. You might be a wage slave but at least you won't be living at home.

From there, you could start working on exploring a deeper life purpose and your dating life.

[Ulax]

@Turtlelover577 Maybe you could do with learning how to learn, i.e. concepts like habits building and deliberate practice.

Also, maybe you have unconscious barriers to doing what you intuitively desire.

[Turtlelover577]

@aurum

9 hours ago, Ulax said:

@Turtlelover577 Maybe you could do with learning how to learn, i.e. concepts like habits building and deliberate practice.

Also, maybe you have unconscious barriers to doing what you intuitively desire.

I’m part time in retail at the moment and am also at college doing a course that will allow me into university to study psychology. But I’ve been doubting university is the right route for me recently, although I hope being in college will teach me some good skills to be able to take forward even if I don’t end up going to university. 
 

Previously I had been working full time in retail for the past 7 years but had not been seriously working on myself, although I think I have learnt a lot about life whilst working there. I’m always trying to set reflect but there are definitely some emotional barriers holding me back 

[BuddhistLover]

On 11/5/2022 at 9:10 AM, Turtlelover577 said:

Hi, this is a little bit of a weird question. I’ve been contemplating what kind of life I want for myself and came to a couple of  conclusions. I want financial Independence, and creative and general freedom (I suppose just like most others really). 
 

I was contemplating ways that I can create this kind of life for myself and one thought I had is creating music. However, when I sit down and practice playing the piano I bought (3 years ago now) to gain the basic skills I don’t enjoy it and it feels like a chore. I’m learning in a very generic manner through an online provider that gets you to grips with the basics (finger positioning, chords etc). How can you become creative with something that you can’t even get past the basics with? Or is that a signal that playing piano is not my passion and I need to test out other interests to find out which ones I don’t find mundane even during the beginning stages of learning? 

It seems that you find creating songs on the piano, to be mundane and boring. 

[EternalForest]

Ask yourself:

Are you unhappy because you don't want want to put in the work to get better?

Or are you unhappy because the piano doesn't inherently excite you?

[Basman]

I can relate because I too am in the midst of developing a creative skill, but find it difficulty to do the work. It can feel like a chore and difficult.

I think putting too much weight on something creative will always make it a drag. Especially if you are basically trying to put your entire livelihood untop of it.

Here's a metaphor. A creative passion is like a small campfire. When you first start and are just learning the ropes, it's like tiny ball of hay that you lit on fire. It's the start of this passion. Then you push ontop this tiny little hayball a freshly cut , half a ton evergreen tree, expecting it to burn magnificently. That tree is your life purpose and your livelihood. It a huge item. Meanwhile, all you got going right now is a tiny hayball. Pushing this massive tree ontop will simply crush the hayball and kill the flame, your passion. To make the flame grow you have to carefully add more more hay first, then gradually move on to tiny twigs before you can add fire wood. Eventually you get a bonfire that can burn your evergreen whole.

Basically, you can't be creative effectively (atleast IMO) if you are not enjoying the process. By putting to much pressure on yourself, you are no longer motivated by the art and the passion, but by the need for relief from your worries, for example "if I can get my life purpose sorted then I don't have to worry about getting a job I hate". 

In my experience, art happens when you are enjoying yourself. You can, and you should, put some pressure on yourself but that needs to be appropiate. The pressure to fulfill your lifepurpose with a hobby you just started is like trying to burn a whole tree with a tiny hayball lit on fire.

Also you have to recognize whether or not you are truly into something. Would you pay to play the piano if you had to pay for it? Or vice versa, would you stop playing the piano if you were not paid for it (if it was your job hypothecally)?

[integral]

Exercise in the morning