embracing masculinity not wanting to loose my humanty

[Chives99]

I'm experiencing majour ambivalence in regards to developing masculinity , in that In order to be tough and attractive I have to loose my sensitivity  and tolerance towards others and fear of being too overly dominant and controlling. Getting rid of that makes me feel like im breaking with integrity, which feels awful for me as being out of integrity makes me feel incomplete and that I'm hurting myself as other people are 'me' , but at the same time survival goes on and I can act dominant and strong to be attractive but in doing so I feel like harming other peoples survival agendas  which again makes me feel like im breaking with integrity. Spirituality makes me want to be soft and warm and compassionate, but then at the same time my desire to become attractive makes me want to flip a that and be hard, selfish and stand offish. I can't do both its an impossibility, my brain is fried from this acid trip and I don't know how to reconcile all this, either be a brute or be a doormat.

[Terell Kirby]

9 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

In order to be tough and attractive I have to loose my sensitivity  and tolerance towards others

Not true, integrating this with your masculine essence creates a higher form of masculinity. Balance is key, be willing to be sensitive and tolerant .. but also be able to hold other accountable and set boundaries so your values are not trampled upon.

Edited November 4, 2022 by Terell Kirby

[Jannes]

It’s very difficult to balance these two but doing it makes a great character. It actually purifies the soft and the hard part. Who wants the soft part when it comes out of weakness and who wants the hard part if its without love you see?

[vladorion]

It's possible that you have some negative beliefs about masculinity. 

Maybe you inherited that from your father.

I'd look into that. Investigate what emotions/sensations the idea of masculinity brings up and what thoughts are connected to that.

Seems like it's a deep conflict that you have that's going to take some time and investigation to unravel.