11 Years Of Depression And Nofap

[I Am That]

I know there's a few threads on this topic, but I just wanted to share my take on it and also to express my concern with Leo's comment reporting the movement as "silly." I'm not sure if his position on this has changed, but given the changes that i've experienced, I was amazed to read that. Whilst i'll admit the actual name nofap sounds a little silly, the actual practice is far, far from it. Nofap is just a label, words anyway, no need to get carried away with that. 

I've had terrible brain fog/fatigue for just over a year, and have had mild depression for 11 odd years. Anxiety has been generally intermittent for many years, but most prominent during the peak of my 8 year career of alcoholism. Now is different. I was going to give it a month before giving a thorough write up, but only after day 8 of abstaining from orgasm, I noticed things had shifted- quite dramatically. 

I always used to get very intense anxiety/fear from hangovers and it was one of the driving factors that made me cut back significantly on drinking. On day 7 of abstinence I had a shocking headache that plagued me all day and being my birthday, tried to drown it with a few beers and wine at dinner. The next day, there was barely any anxiety at all despite being slightly sleep deprived and having drunk 5-6 standard drinks the night before. At the end of last year, it got to the point where I was finding just 2-3 beers the night before would leave me feeling hungover and anxious the next day.

So now, the differences i've noticed in just two weeks of abstinence from orgasm:

- Brain fog and heavy fatigue basically non-existent (my mind feels sharp as fuck)

- General & social anxiety/fear GREATLY diminished as are feelings of anger

- Physical strength is up (high-bar back squats feel easier)

- Increased confidence and patience 

- The beauty in life; children, trees, birds, the wind is much more accessible

- Being friendly just comes so much more naturally

- Something strange going on with appetite (not as hungry/fasting used to give me anxiety, this doesn't seem so anymore)

- Diziness and poor coordination gone

- Emotional stability (and being able to really fucking FEEL on a deep level)

- Depression has fallen away

- Dreams are much more vivid and easily remembered

Anxiety from high amounts of caffeine is still there, for sure, but it is very, very minor compared to what it was. Tea and coffee is somewhat important to me because I have hemochromatosis (increased iron absorption) and I just love green and pu er tea.

Obviously some of these benefits snowball into one another and can probably be summarised as just being more present and allowing self-love. Of course I'm still "suffering" to some degree, but as Paul Hedderman would say, something has stabilised and I'm traveling lighter over the geography of life. For now anyway. I really love that saying. I really vibe with Paul's energy and talks on non-duality.

I'd like to stress that all these changes are not just from giving up porn and masturbating. In the past 8 months I have quit facebook, quit tinder and all that shit, quit my gym (to train solo at home) ditched my psychologist and basically avoid social gatherings like the plague. My psychologist told me masturbating to porn was no problem! Also, i've purchased over $400 AUD worth of books on spirituality, corrected a mineral imbalance and thus raised testosterone and lowered estradiol, have been smashing out non-duality talks on YouTube, dialled in my plant based diet, started yoga, daily meditation and have been using entheogens (mushrooms and ayahuasca) rigorously for 7 months. After the meditation and heavy entheogen use, I could fucking feel the light trying desperately to push through the thick fog but I just didn't know exactly what it was that was causing it. So far it hasn't been too challenging, just a couple of 3-4 am relentless erections that were somewhat bothersome.

So if you're in a right cu*t of a place and are watching porn on the regular, maybe give it a whirl ey. You may feel no difference, but it may change your life. My habit was once a day, sometimes once every 2-3 days. Nothing excessive IMO. I had intuitive feelings that it wasn't healthy and in the end was watching rather softcore videos (wristies and what not) but this made little difference. This is just my experience, yours will be different.

I found some pretty interesting reading here..

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/heres-why-nofap-is-essential-for-spiritual-growth.40561/

Edited February 22, 2017 by Break the Chain

[Space]

I discovered the other week that semen retention has been a practise of Taoists for potentially thousands of years. "Many Taoist practitioners link the loss of ejaculatory fluids to the loss of vital life force: where excessive fluid loss results in premature aging, disease, and general fatigue". This isn't to say that every man should be doing this, or that they were correct in their beliefs, but they clearly saw some benefits from not ejaculating. 

They believed that if you have a 'retrograde ejaculation' or non-ejaculatory orgasm, the semen would go up into your head and nourish the brain. Obviously this doesn't happen, but i've no doubt that there are other benefits to nofap.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoist_sexual_practices

[Richard Alpert]

Fapstronauts

muahhhahha

[eskwire]

@Break the Chain As a woman, I'm sure it's different, but there is a very different headspace when you dedicate time regularly to low quality consciousness sexual thoughts.

If 10 mins daily of affirmations change your mind and life, why would the opposite - focusing on a big physical feeling associated with stupid thoughts - not have an effect?

[Hsinav]

On 2017-02-22 at 4:08 AM, Break the Chain said:

So now, the differences i've noticed in just two weeks of abstinence from orgasm:

- Brain fog and heavy fatigue basically non-existent (my mind feels sharp as fuck)

- General & social anxiety/fear GREATLY diminished as are feelings of anger

- Physical strength is up (high-bar back squats feel easier)

- Increased confidence and patience 

- The beauty in life; children, trees, birds, the wind is much more accessible

- Being friendly just comes so much more naturally

- Something strange going on with appetite (not as hungry/fasting used to give me anxiety, this doesn't seem so anymore)

- Diziness and poor coordination gone

- Emotional stability (and being able to really fucking FEEL on a deep level)

- Depression has fallen away

- Dreams are much more vivid and easily remembered

This is pretty much in line with the benefits I gained after starting with a daily meditation/yoga routine

 

[I Am That]

@Space

Yes, i've only just started delving into the Taoist ideas on this subject. Highly curious. It would appear they have the broadest base of recorded knowledge when it comes to semen retention practice. Just from what i've read and what i've experienced after 20 days, I can feel this is a very powerful energy and well worth cultivating. Staying on track so far has been mostly effortless. 

@eskwire

For sure. I think the main problem was that it became an identity for me and that's why it was so hard to track down and dismantle it. But of course there is also the troubling issue of the pornografication of modern society. As I mentioned in my original post, even my psychologist encouraged me that masturbating to porn was "fine." Now I realise deeply, it's not fucking fine at all and I plan on giving him a call about that. All these actors in porn clips are coming from trauma, a deeply unfulfilled life and it's basically filmed prostitution. Something that struck me to the core last night was that i'm pretty sure the baggage and energy of those people carries through the screen and you take on some of their energy, their pain. Or so the mushroom tells me anyway.

[I Am That]

@Vanish

That's really awesome. Yoga, daily meditation, walks in nature, walks with my dog, supplements, healthy diet, exercise all couldn't cut through the thick dysfunction that had set in from my habit.

[eskwire]

20 minutes ago, Break the Chain said:

it's not fucking fine at all and I plan on giving him a call about that.

@Break the Chain

❤this! ?

[I Am That]

@see_on_see

I never said masturbation in moderation was unhealthy. 

As I said, there's not too much effort involved at the moment. I am far from going crazy. I was going crazy before.

Well, the root of all problems is identification with the ego mind no? So I would argue that I am addressing my problems at the root. My entire life has changed and you think i'm fooling myself? Right. You do what you want to do. If you want to watch filmed prostition, go for it.

Edited February 26, 2017 by Break the Chain

[I Am That]

@see_on_see

I am not the nofap community in general. You seem to be getting quite carried away with that. I know it's probably hard for you, but try not to be so quick to box people in to that narrative you have running.

Attachment to ego is via our psychology. It is this that shrouds our divinity. When you break damaging patterns, whatever that may be, you sever some attachment to thought forms and the dream becomes happier. Severing attachment to form is addressing the problem at the very root. For me, consuming pornography was (heavily) stimulating attachment, as proven by the immense positivity that has suddenly entered my life.

Edited February 26, 2017 by Break the Chain

[Son of leo]

Keep up the good work

[Voyager]

@Break the Chain

Amen brother. I've had the same benefits. Of course this isn't just some silly thing. Semen retention, that is. I mean yes, NoFAP is kind of silly, but it's just a business, don't take it so seriously y'all. Mastering this hedonistic pleasure really shows your EQ has reached the higher stages. I find it hard to believe that enlightened masters would need to masturbate, ever. 

Is masturbation actually healthy? It doesn't sound like it. Nor does it sound like this is a snug fit for a self actualized life. 

Here are some quotes from Mantak Chia, in his book “Taoist Secrets of Love, Cultivating Male Sexual Energy”

“Sperm is the storehouse of male sexual energy (ching). A single ejaculation has 200 to 500 million sperm cells, each a potential human being. There are enough spermatozoa lost in single orgasm to populate the entire United States if each cell was to fertilize an egg. The manufacture of a sperm fluid capable of such psychic super potency consumes up to a third of a man’s daily energy output and is especially taxing on the male glandular/immunological system. “This unique human freedom of utilizing our sexual energy so flexibility does not come without its price. The price is that spend an estimated 25% or 40% of our chi energy taken in through food, air and sunlight just to manufacture this sperm energy and maintain sexual readiness.” He also states, “The energy loss over long periods of time weakens the physical health of the male, gradually robbing the male higher mind/spirit its power to rejuvenate itself”. “Production of this nutritionally rich and physically super potent substance requires an enormous amount of raw materials. The reproductive glands receive these raw materials from the blood stream. In its turn, the blood withdraws the previous elements from every part of the body, liver, kidney, spleen, etc, including the brain. Every organ pays a heavy tribute to the glands that produce the sexual seed. Because a single drop of semen houses such prodigious life energies, frequent loss of fluid depletes the body systems of their most precious nutrients and speeds the inevitable physical decline into old age. Retaining the seed within the body is the first step to reversing this cycle in which the male pays an unnecessarily stiff price for sexual satisfaction.”