Do female friends have any value?

[LordFall]

21 hours ago, KH2 said:

Depends

I don't really make differences between the genders when it comes to friends. Perhaps you should stop watching so much Andrew Tate stuff

That's a silly take. You should make friends with people that have the same goals you have and where you can form alliances to achieve those goals. Guys get together and talk about girls, go out together to get girls. Female friends don't really make sense in that context. Men also make great friends in terms of business goals and collaboration, most women won't help you with that.

Female friends make more sense in social circles or hobby groups. If you're in a volleyball league or a book club then makes sense that you would regularly hangout with girls. Or if you're a big extrovert/emotional type and you enjoy just hanging out with girls and like venting/talking about surface stuff. If you're in the events/party scene then having a lot of female friends also makes sense.

Generally, goals don't really align though. 

[StarStruck]

30 minutes ago, LordFall said:

That's a silly take. You should make friends with people that have the same goals you have and where you can form alliances to achieve those goals. Guys get together and talk about girls, go out together to get girls. Female friends don't really make sense in that context. Men also make great friends in terms of business goals and collaboration, most women won't help you with that.

Female friends make more sense in social circles or hobby groups. If you're in a volleyball league or a book club then makes sense that you would regularly hangout with girls. Or if you're a big extrovert/emotional type and you enjoy just hanging out with girls and like venting/talking about surface stuff. If you're in the events/party scene then having a lot of female friends also makes sense.

Generally, goals don't really align though. 

Most guys on this forum lack a healthy SD orange so I'm considered towards these guys on the forum. I sense a lot of feminized SD green vibes so it makes sense they go out with the girls to gossip and shit.

Edited November 3, 2022 by StarStruck

[integral]

23 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I sense a lot of feminized SD green vibes so it makes sense they go out with the girls to gossip and shit.

All my friends that are girls I go to the gym with and who can keep up with or are interested in meaningful conversations. I wouldn't spend time with a anyone who was a gossiper and incapable of focusing on the ideas. 

[LastThursday]

On 02/11/2022 at 2:53 PM, StarStruck said:

Do you have female friends? Do they have value to you? What value do they have? 

I value all my friendships male and female, why wouldn't I?

I find that each individiual relationship is different for me, so I can't say for certain what a female relationship brings that is different from a male relationship. But I would say in very broad strokes that I find women good for chatting about life and more emotionally related things - more people centric topics - and men more about things: hobbies, planning, activities etc. I would say some of my male friends are "emotionally stunted" (probably a bit harsh though, they're just unrehearsed at it), so I don't talk about my feelings and my mental life to them.  But my male friends are more spontaneous than my female friends. None of my friends can I shoot the shit with about spirituality or self development however, can't win them all!

Edited November 3, 2022 by LastThursday

[LordFall]

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Most guys on this forum lack a healthy SD orange so I'm considered towards these guys on the forum. I sense a lot of feminized SD green vibes so it makes sense they go out with the girls to gossip and shit.

That's true, you need both stage green compassion and empathy and stage orange ruthless efficiency to live the best life.

2 hours ago, KH2 said:

Yeah, but if they do, I don't see a reason why I shouldn't be friends with them. And besides, life is not strictly about achieving goals. It's about achieving goals, AND about everything else.

Again, you're explaining me your standard, strictly utilitarian definition of how things are and should be, thinking you've made some sort of nuanced point, and thinking you somehow got me. This type of caveman logic of "This square peg no go round hole, it go square hole, idiot! UUGA BOOGA" is very strange to me. This type of inflexibility has a potential to greatly limit you in life, I think.

Even in HU - which is a place where you'd expect women the least - there are chicks I've chatted with, and they can be great to collaborate with

What do you consider to be everything else? I tend to think in very logical ways which can sometimes leave me with blindspots but generally works quite well. I think it's phenomenal to be friends with women but especially if you're still in the grind/hustle phase of your life then often times these associations don't make too much sense.

Also worth mentioning is that I don't think it's really possible to do healthily if you don't have your dating life figured out. A lot of female/male friendships are weird codependent messes. 

[StarStruck]

2 hours ago, integral said:

All my friends that are girls I go to the gym with and who can keep up with or are interested in meaningful conversations. I wouldn't spend time with an anyone who was a gossiper and incapable of focusing on the ideas. 

Fair enough. Even if they gossip I don’t engage.

 

2 hours ago, KH2 said:

Dude, you cannot talk about guys here being too feminized, while you're venting and subtly complaining/bitching about your dating life

It is called contemplation. You are acting like you figured it all out. ?

Edited November 3, 2022 by StarStruck

[LordFall]

28 minutes ago, KH2 said:

Also, from my personal standpoint, I believe MOST PEOPLE are a waste of time. It's not that predominantly female friends would waste your time if you're trying to achieve something. Men will waste your time also.

Anything that you cannot achieve by goal-based approach.

Oh yeah, 100% agreed. Men are an even bigger time waster. To achieve big things you have to keep your circle very small until you've at least achieved those things. You're right, I don't think the gender plays much into it. 

[StarStruck]

6 minutes ago, KH2 said:

It just seemed to me that you were bashing stage green dudes a bit too much, so that's why I said that. But yeah, we all have our own struggles to overcome, 100%

This forum has a huge stage green bias. I’m not going to play along with that.

I gravitate at stage yellow but I have some gaps at the lower stages that I’m working at. 

 

[flowboy]

On 02/11/2022 at 6:44 PM, StarStruck said:

Great points. The only reason I meet up with my female friends is because of the points you summed up beautifully. But somehow it bugs me that they expect me to lead so much in the relationship. Most of the time I pay and I don’t even get the fuck. ?

I think what you're looking for is a prostitute. And boundaries.

[museumoftrees]

Having female friends can be a great way to do social circle. The other value they can bring you is friendship lol.

[petar8p]

Most amount of value in the world.

[integral]

The right way to figure out the answer to these questions is to go out there and test out a hypothesis and experiment.

Find women with the same interests as you, women who are into self development and see if you guys connect. Have some deep conversation.