How To Stop Bragging In My Head?

[Julian gabriel]

Whenever I’m alone I have frequent thoughts such as:

“I am so much smarter than everyone else”

“I am so sexy and so intelligent there’s nobody like me”

“I am not interested in politics because most humans are like ants to me so I don’t care about them”

Wtf is going on with me that makes my mind think that these thoughts are useful everyday for hours?

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Maybe lack of intellectual maturity and too much day dreaming. I used to be like that. But relationships helped me spot my flaws

Maybe you haven't been in many relationships. 

[Ulax]

@Julian gabriel I think you're likely unconsciously using that as a way to meet your need for significance.

To my understanding, if you found an alternative way to meet your need for significance then I think these thoughts would likely stop.

[actuallyenlightened]

Maybe the things you are doing are too easy and the people around you are too simple. If you do things that are very intellectually challenging and are completely honest with yourself, I doubt your mind would continue thinking like that

[Raze]

Try IFS therapy

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVqANXVTLN4

http://happinessbeyondthought.blogspot.com/2012/05/surrendering-i-letting-go-of-suffering.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU1Rp184IT4

[King Merk]

I used to think like this but then I surrounded myself with people who are more skilled than me in the areas I’m wishing to grow.

You’re likely a big fish in a small pond.

[anaj]

While it might be true that you’re smarter and cooler than everybody else, it's not true that you are to be credited for that. Your intelligence and your skills are gifts that you have received with the job of making the most out of them.

Being humble is about realizing that you didn’t do shit to deserve what you’ve got, and if you did, then that drive that made you do it too was a gift.

With great power comes great responsibility.

 

[Eph75]

@Julian gabriel

Inquire into you background stories and defining moments happening in the past. 

If what you describe is your compensatory skill, there's a counterpart that defines your fears that those compensatory skills effectively navigates you away from; from the fear of appearing say inferior, you will adopt a stance that shows up as eg. superior in your mind. 

Those thought are no coincidence. 

What you describe needs to be defined by you, and your influencing story needs to be discovered by you, and finally that fear is yours to embrace. 

Typically there are moments, and typically those moments are in our childhood, and often relates to our upbringing/parents, that are such defining moments where we essentially decide about these kind of compensatory strategies to avoid the pain of experiencing the fear. 

Paradoxically that compensatory strategy is driven by the fear and that fear becomes very dominant in who we are. 

The compensatory strategy and the fear are not thoughts we choose, they are who we are. 

What might that be, the fear that creates this compensatory need?

Notice that it can be the reverse, a fear of showing up superior and you having compensatory skills that actually show up as being gentle, kind or even inferior - to avoid the fear and shame of seeming smarter than others. 

The dynamic is important, there still would be a story about who you are, "I am inferior", "I am superior", or something completely different. 

How has this influenced you life? - the fear in terms of limiting your thoughts and being, and perhaps the compensatory skill in terms of drive, even positive accomplishments but equally so destructive outcomes such as conflicts etc. 

By getting very clear about these (the fear and the compensatory skill) - and we all have one predominant background story, and likely more than one that defines us, but the predominant one likely influences us the most and in a multi-layered fashion - we can choose to embrace the possibilities that show up along with self-awareness in that process. 

Keep in mind that whatever you come up with is just a story that you make up that is influenced by all the biases that you have. It's not real, the story is not you, it might be relevant to your past, but it's important that the story (and fear, and compensatory skill) isn't having you, but you having it. Only when you relate differently to that underlying background story does the freedom to embrace your possibilities become real. 

In that sense it's more about the clarity of the story than who you think you need to be, as those thoughts are strongly influenced by your background story.

Only when you are very clear about the background story you can choose to be unreasonable with yourself, and the thoughts that show up to you, thoughts that aren't in that sense yours.

 

Edited November 1, 2022 by Eph75

[trenton]

@Julian gabriel I contemplated this issue myself a lot. I often ended up getting nowhere, but this has recently changed.

One thing you need to realize is that these beliefs are designed to be self validating. The survival of your ego identity is such that it becomes irresistible to attach yourself beliefs like "I am smarter than you." There are a lot of smart people who end up believing in things that logically don't make sense because of how it serves the ego. In the case of " I am smarter than you." It is irrational because other people likely know something that you don't or are experts in other fields.

It is not that you are to blame for believing these things because your mind is designed to seek out self validating beliefs even if they are not rational. If you understood how deeply social beliefs were and how much these beliefs were tied to survival, then you would have an easier time stopping this behavior. You will naturally become happier without much less of a need to resist these notions.

I wish nothing but the best for you in understanding your attachment to convincing yourself that you are smarter than others. I want you to discover how happy you will be once you see that you don't need these beliefs for self validation. Try getting a journal and writing out beliefs you think are true. Once you quickly realize "I don't know" your mind will start to free itself from these attachments. Good luck and lots of love.

[something_else]

5 hours ago, King Merk said:

I surrounded myself with people who are more skilled than me in the areas I’m wishing to grow.

This is such a good way to humble yourself. Your mind is really good at deluding you about how good you are at something when you don't have any great examples of what's possible surrounding you.

For example if you had asked me if I was a good software engineer when I graduated uni, I'd have said yes. Now that I work as one around some with 10+ years of experience, I know that I'm still just starting my journey.

[Kalki Avatar]

@Julian gabriel Repent but dont judge yourself. Accept and welcome them as they are without acting nor believing them. Practice humility, bow down the ego to existence, let go and watch the thoughts as thoughts not you the "witness" perceiving these thoughts. 

You have closed yourself up. Open the heart and body. 

To change that narcicistic (egoic) attitude you need to recognize the negativity and falsehood of those thoughts. Again, the first step to change that is to repent from the old ways of the ego (Me/"I"). 

Thats what happens when the ego takes authority over your mind/life. Basically, a type of possesion. Through this weak state of falsehood, you can be easily influenced by spirits planting thoughts from another realm to keep you more trapped and engrossed in illusions. So they can enslave you in negativity and make you a daily feast of energy for them. The ego tricks you to think this exaltation of itself is good. While it might temporarily be in some context to survive. But, the negative side effects will manifest later in other areas. 

 

Edited November 1, 2022 by Kalki Avatar

[StarStruck]

Somebody who is smarter or capable in another way, doesn’t need to prove it or constantly ruminate about it. He simple knows and doesn’t need to state it. 

If somebody constantly has to state “I’m the smartest”, “I’m the most enlightened person”, etc, you know he is full of something. 

The person who is the top dog in anything is simple silent and confident in his being. 

[Twenty]

Do something tht do justice to those thoughts  . 

[Julian gabriel]

7 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Somebody who is smarter or capable in another way, doesn’t need to prove it or constantly ruminate about it. He simple knows and doesn’t need to state it. 

If somebody constantly has to state “I’m the smartest”, “I’m the most enlightened person”, etc, you know he is full of something. 

The person who is the top dog in anything is simple silent and confident in his being. 

@StarStruck can you explain why you think that? I don’t see why that’s always true. For example Kanye west, who is one of the greatest artists of this generation, constantly talks about it. 

[StarStruck]

1 hour ago, Julian gabriel said:

@StarStruck can you explain why you think that? I don’t see why that’s always true. For example Kanye west, who is one of the greatest artists of this generation, constantly talks about it. 

Kanye West is the laughing stock of the world.  

[Julian gabriel]

7 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Kanye West is the laughing stock of the world.  

@StarStruck  Ok if u want to be short with me I will try framing it in a different way for you:

Kanye has had a large influence on popular culture, through music, fashion, mindset and more.

I think this means that he has done what he intended to do. Of course popularity does not equal greatness but if bragging about being great at something makes it so that you can’t do it, then why is he able to have such massive influence while bragging about having such massive influence?

[StarStruck]

@Julian gabriel a lot of rappers and their kind are shit talkers and if you listen to them, you are going to inherent some of their arrogance and egotism.. 

You give Kanye as an example. How did being a shit talker ended up for him? The answer you are seeking is in the example you gave. 

Look at Taylor Swift, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Snoop Dogg, Beatles, Usher and other successful artists. What is the common denominator? Arrogance or humbleness?

Confidence and arrogance are two different things. Misplaced confidence can end up as your Achilles’ heel. 

Edited November 2, 2022 by StarStruck