How can I motivate myself to stop masturbating?

[ThePoint]

I’m addicted to it and it feels like I can’t stop. 

How do I stop? 

[StarStruck]

I already told you this in the other topic. Do 30 push ups every time you have the urge. Try this for a week and see for yourself. 

[Aaron p]

One of the preparatory concepts in Leo's LPC is the idea of giving it 100%.

The idea that if you don't wage all out war on some addictions or issues then that 5% where you are relaxed will be the chink in your armour and the addiction will slip through. So I feel like you have to just wage all out war on porn and mastrubation or sex addiction if it's something you struggle with.

Just start blocking all access routes to porn. Get in touch with support groups, heck...get in touch with 5-10 modern churchs and enquire into whether or not they have support groups for men with addictions to porn and sex etc. there's a couple of apps. Detoxify is good for the phone, blocks vpns as well. I need to test this more fully though. Brainbuddy is one haven't used it tho. Social support is good.

Just block everything

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

Get enough physical work 

[Carl-Richard]

Do the girl method. Save it for the weekend and make it special. Light some candles ?

[NoSelfSelf]

By deciding not to do it ?

[StarStruck]

27 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Do the girl method. Save it for the weekend and make it special. Light some candles ?

Don't light the wrong candle though.. Lucifer is clever ?

[mr_engineer]

Quit porn. Avoid it as much as you can. Masturbation without external stimuli is not too detrimental. 

[something_else]

Maybe you don’t need to stop completely.

It is a healthy thing to do as long as it doesn’t interfere with your life.

if you feel like it is controlling you, then exercise some control over it instead.

For example start small. Only let yourself masturbate every other day. An easy way to implement this is to only masturbate on days of the month that are even e.g 2nd, 4th, 6th and so on

Then you can adjust it to every third day with a similar technique, and then so on. Until you reach a desired frequency where you feel you’ve demonstrated enough control over it.

[Roy]

Needing motivation to "stop" doing something seems like a contradictory misdirection of energy. Rather aim that motivation to be fueling something else entirely, that will end up replacing masturbating naturally.

It's like video games for example. When people grow up they don't refer to it as having "stopped" video games, it's that they start doing other things more like focusing on work or family.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_dawQLA-mA

https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/art_urges.pdf
 

https://easypeasymethod.org/

[ThePoint]

23 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I already told you this in the other topic. Do 30 push ups every time you have the urge. Try this for a week and see for yourself. 

@StarStruck I can’t do push-ups. What’s the next best alternative? 
 

22 hours ago, Aaron p said:

One of the preparatory concepts in Leo's LPC is the idea of giving it 100%.

The idea that if you don't wage all out war on some addictions or issues then that 5% where you are relaxed will be the chink in your armour and the addiction will slip through. So I feel like you have to just wage all out war on porn and mastrubation or sex addiction if it's something you struggle with.

Just start blocking all access routes to porn. Get in touch with support groups, heck...get in touch with 5-10 modern churchs and enquire into whether or not they have support groups for men with addictions to porn and sex etc. there's a couple of apps. Detoxify is good for the phone, blocks vpns as well. I need to test this more fully though. Brainbuddy is one haven't used it tho. Social support is good.

Just block everything

@Aaron p

I’ve tried blocking. It just doesn’t work. If my addiction doesn’t have access to it then it just resorts to images, reddit, or imagination. 
 

21 hours ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

Get enough physical work 

@Giulio Bevilacqua What do you mean?

20 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

Do the girl method. Save it for the weekend and make it special. Light some candles ?

@Carl-Richard I have zero libido and I have zero interest in girls or relationships. I don’t think I masturbate because I’m horny, I have a psychological addiction. 
 

[ThePoint]

20 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

By deciding not to do it ?

@NoSelfSelf Lol… if it was that simple then I would’ve conquered this years ago.

20 hours ago, KH2 said:

The way I handled this issue, is that I dipped it into a boiling soup. While slowly stirring it clockwise and counter clockwise

@KH2 Dude what… 

18 hours ago, something_else said:

Maybe you don’t need to stop completely.

It is a healthy thing to do as long as it doesn’t interfere with your life

if you feel like it is controlling you, then exercise some control over it instead.

For example start small. Only let yourself masturbate every other day. An easy way to implement this is to only masturbate on days of the month that are even e.g 2nd, 4th, 6th and so on

Then you can adjust it to every third day with a similar technique, and then so on. Until you reach a desired frequency where you feel you’ve demonstrated enough control over it.

 @something_else I don’t think it’s healthy, and even if it was, it is indeed interfering with my life, severely.

I’ve tried that technique you’ve described and it didn’t work for me. The most I could get up to was like 2 weeks.  

[something_else]

21 minutes ago, ThePoint said:

I don’t think it’s healthy, and even if it was, it is indeed interfering with my life, severely.

I’ve tried that technique you’ve described and it didn’t work for me. The most I could get up to was like 2 weeks. 

It is healthy, just not in excess.

2 weeks with only masturbating every other day, or 2 weeks without doing it at all? I think limiting yourself to masturbation every other day is a very good starting point and you should continue to aim for that.

[StarStruck]

@ThePoint if normal push ups are too hard do push ups with both knees touching the ground (girls do this), eventually you will be strong enough to do real push ups. You could combine push ups with jumping jacks

You are asking unnecessary questions. Answers you already know. The main point for you to understand: stop thinking and start doing.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@ThePoint Its not easy but you are not doing it ,how do you think addictions are purged they lock you on farm away from substance...

Just dont do it or i dont see whats problem with masturbation...

 

[ThePoint]

58 minutes ago, something_else said:

It is healthy, just not in excess.

2 weeks with only masturbating every other day, or 2 weeks without doing it at all? I think limiting yourself to masturbation every other day is a very good starting point and you should continue to aim for that.

@something_else 

2 weeks without doing it at all. Every other day isn’t that difficult for me, so I wouldn’t really call it an ‘aim’ with how relatively easy it is to achieve, but it still interferes with my life. 

If you don’t mind me asking - Are you a guy or a girl?

I know this question might seem a bit odd. I just think masturbation affects guys differently from girls. There was another person on this forum who was telling me things quite similar to what you are saying and they were a girl. Masturbation didn’t seem to affect her negatively.

47 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

@ThePoint if normal push ups are too hard do push ups with both knees touching the ground (girls do this), eventually you will be strong enough to do real push ups. You could combine push ups with jumping jacks

You are asking unnecessary questions. Answers you already know. The main point for you to understand: stop thinking and start doing.

Okay thanks. I will try jumping jacks combined with push ups. Or burpees.

[something_else]

27 minutes ago, ThePoint said:

2 weeks without doing it at all. Every other day isn’t that difficult for me, so I wouldn’t really call it an ‘aim’ with how relatively easy it is to achieve, but it still interferes with my life.

That was not what I suggested. I suggested progressively cutting down on how often you do it, I didn't say cut it out cold turkey for 2 weeks. If it's easy to go 2 days without doing it, then start with that. Stick to that for 2 months and if you stick to it then change it to once every 3 days, until you hit a frequency that you're happy with. I am not a no-faper, I don't think cutting it out all together is necessarily a good thing. Maybe for some guys.

If masturbating once every few days interferes with your life then you have a condition of some kind, or you are creating a self-fulfiling prophecy by unnecessarily guilting yourself every time you do it. That's not a normal experience of masturbation for guys.

33 minutes ago, ThePoint said:

If you don’t mind me asking - Are you a guy or a girl?

I know this question might seem a bit odd. I just think masturbation affects guys differently from girls. There was another person on this forum who was telling me things quite similar to what you are saying and they were a girl. Masturbation didn’t seem to affect her negatively.

I'm a guy. I notice there are some guys who get negatively affected by masturbation more and then assume that it's normal and all guys are negatively affected. But it isn't normal to experience negative effects from masturbation as a guy unless you're doing it excessively

[flowboy]

On 30/10/2022 at 11:02 AM, StarStruck said:

I already told you this in the other topic. Do 30 push ups every time you have the urge. Try this for a week and see for yourself. 

Actually good advice. Did you try this @ThePoint

On 31/10/2022 at 10:51 AM, ThePoint said:

I’ve tried that technique you’ve described and it didn’t work for me. The most I could get up to was like 2 weeks. 

Ah, I see the bug in your thinking.

When you masturbate once after 2 weeks, your mind goes "See, I failed, I can't do this, might as well fap 5 times today"

Whereas actually masturbating once in 2 weeks is perfectly fine.

If you can make it two weeks, you can just do that back to back and be okay.

Watch out for the thought that says that all is lost and you didn't make it, because it's an excuse for overdoing it.

[flowboy]

One more thing: obsessing over this addiction is a distraction.

It doesn't matter that much, really, whether you masturbate a crazy amount of times or not.

Sure, you may have less energy and be less attractive and social.

Sure you may have some trouble relating to women because of the objectification that porn makes your brain do.

But ... so what.

Is that really the most important thing you should be focusing on?

There should be something way, waay more important than that.

If there isn't, then you just don't want to look at it.

Your self-expression, your life purpose, your self-actualization.

Don't tell me masturbation is in the way of that.

It's not.

Your self-actualization should be in the way of masturbation.

How much you masturbate should barely be on your mind.

It should be starved of attention, squeezed out by your greater pursuits.

A small detail.

Not enough energy? Ok, masturbate less. Boom, back to the important stuff.

Masturbated again? Oops, whatever, back to the important stuff.

This obsession with the wrong thing is a form of self-sabotage.

That's what is interfering with your life severely.