Would I be less attractive to girls if I turned bisexual?

[Tyler Robinson]

So if I don't sleep with a transgender, I'm transphobic? 

Glad to know that I have zero autonomy over my sexual preferences. 

 

 

[Emrie]

Okay firstly you do absolutely have autonomy over your sexual preferences. In fact you have complete autonomy over literally everything in your life. You can live your life however you want and do whatever you want. And if you do consider that someone being bisexual is a valid reason not to have a relationship with them, I'm going to respect that and will not force you to change. If you don't wanna date bisexual people just because they're bi, that's fine, I don't care, live your life and be happy.

Secondly, transgenderism and bisexuality are vastly different, you're comparing apples to oranges. Someone being transgender is reflected in how they dress, their mannerisms, and even their body. Sexual preferences apply very much here. It is completely understandable that you wouldn't want to sleep with a trans person, and it doesn't necessarily make you transphobic.

But bisexuality is literally just who someone is attracted to. It doesn't affect their mannerisms, it doesn't affect how they dress, it doesn't affect their body, it doesn't even affect the rest of their personality, it is literally just that they can be attracted to people of more than one gender. It does not affect you or your relationship in any tangible way. The fact that someone could build a relationship with you and get to a point where there's emotional and even sexual intimacy before they tell you they're bi without you noticing, knowing, or even suspecting it proves this to you.

So if you can get to this point and you still want to break this hypothetical relationship off ... like why? Biphobia would be number one for me, but maybe it's something else. Maybe it's anxious attachment, maybe it's fear of abandonment, maybe it's just jealousy. Like I'd be curious to hear, because sexual preference cannot be it. The bisexuality isn't apparent at all in the bedroom and even in the relationship at large.

[Thought Art]

The more you accept your sexuality the more sexy everyone gets

Edited October 29, 2022 by Thought Art

[Tyler Robinson]

 

3 hours ago, Emrie said:

Okay firstly you do absolutely have autonomy over your sexual preferences. In fact you have complete autonomy over literally everything in your life. You can live your life however you want and do whatever you want. And if you do consider that someone being bisexual is a valid reason not to have a relationship with them, I'm going to respect that and will not force you to change. If you don't wanna date bisexual people just because they're bi, that's fine, I don't care, live your life and be happy.

Secondly, transgenderism and bisexuality are vastly different, you're comparing apples to oranges. Someone being transgender is reflected in how they dress, their mannerisms, and even their body. Sexual preferences apply very much here. It is completely understandable that you wouldn't want to sleep with a trans person, and it doesn't necessarily make you transphobic.

But bisexuality is literally just who someone is attracted to. It doesn't affect their mannerisms, it doesn't affect how they dress, it doesn't affect their body, it doesn't even affect the rest of their personality, it is literally just that they can be attracted to people of more than one gender. It does not affect you or your relationship in any tangible way. The fact that someone could build a relationship with you and get to a point where there's emotional and even sexual intimacy before they tell you they're bi without you noticing, knowing, or even suspecting it proves this to you.

So if you can get to this point and you still want to break this hypothetical relationship off ... like why? Biphobia would be number one for me, but maybe it's something else. Maybe it's anxious attachment, maybe it's fear of abandonment, maybe it's just jealousy. Like I'd be curious to hear, because sexual preference cannot be it. The bisexuality isn't apparent at all in the bedroom and even in the relationship at large.

I respect bisexual people..it's just that I don't want to date them. I would feel awkward if he is looking at a guy. I won't find it masculine. I don't find it attractive. Biphobic means hating bi people. I don't hate them. But that doesn't mean that I should date someone that doesn't feel attractive in my brain. If I'm attracted to a heterosexual guy that's easy because I am heterosexual. Wanting someone who is similar to you sexually, nothing wrong with it. Sexual preferences are key in relationships. 

[Tyler Robinson]

35 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

That's so funny. Most guys would probably think that's hot af to be honest. I know guys who're really homophobic (religious reasons) and even they'd forget about their homophobia the moment two lesbians wanted a threesome.

This is the only place where I have seen people be okay with bisexual partners. Maybe ya'll lying to your selves or mostly feminine guys. 

My ex hated lesbians. I don't know what's homophobic about it. I should start something like straight-o-phobic now because you guys don't find straight people hot enough. 

A lot of people are disgusted by seeing a guy kiss a guy or a girl kiss another girl. They're turned off rather than being turned on by it. This does not necessarily mean they are homophobic. 

Homophobic is someone who hates a person for being homosexual especially for religious reasons. If you get turned off by same sex kissing, it's not necessarily homophobia and there's nothing wrong with your body producing a natural gag response. 

 

Edited October 29, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Breakingthewall]

depends. if she's a adolescent-minded woman (she can be 18 or 45), she'll find it attractive. adolescent I mean focused on liking, experimenting, hedonism, a certain narcissism. if she is a woman of mature mind, focused on giving, family, love, she will find it disgusting. Today we live in an adolescent, narcissistic, immature society. this is not intrinsically bad, it has positive things, others not. so, more and more people will see it as something positive

[Tyler Robinson]

 

20 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

@Tyler Robinson I'm not sure how that had anything to do with what I said. All I said was that your question of whether a guy would find a lesbian attractive is funny. Also I don't give a shit about what your fucking ex said. I'm a man myself. I don't need to hear about what some third party once told you in order to know how guys think. He could've been an exception, he could've lied to you or whatever. Lesbian porn isn't one of the most popular categories for men for no reason. Maybe you should've tried making out with another girl in front of him and see whether he would've still hated it. ?

He told me that he would  find it gross. 

I won't like my bf having man on man action. I would find it a-masculine. I guess men find lesbians a-feminine the same way I do. A lot of lesbians pretend to be masculine, example Ellen Degeneres. There's nothing attractive about a woman trying to pass off as a man and vice versa. 

Edited October 29, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

1 hour ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

@Tyler Robinson And that's where you're wrong. Men don't feel the same about women as women feel about men. I'm not sure what your average woman would think of two attractive guys kissing, but I can tell you that your average man would find two attractive women kissing hot. The emphasis is on attractive. The thing with Ellen Degeneres is that... well she just isn't conventionally attractive. Guys don't find her unattractive because of her sexuality, but because of her just not being attractive to them. That's all there is to it. As long as the women are attractive the guy will like it. It's like watching femininity dance by itself, with itself. It's very beautiful.

Not all guys think like that, but most of the outliers had to be conditioned into their positions in the first place. For them it could be about sexual shame, repressed homosexuality, religious reasons, being raised in a conservative household or whatever. But even they can be inconsistent with their views when they're horny.

Ok do a survey on this forum right now. I challenge you. Ask all the men on this forum if they are okay if their girlfriend is a lesbian (no threesomes okay, just lesbian, that is their girlfriend is bisexual and attracted to other women and might sleep with other women). Let's see their responses. (but no threesomes because that changes the dynamic dramatically). 

 

[flowboy]

On 28/10/2022 at 7:09 PM, KH2 said:

@flowboy "crude terms" it's literaly just the truth lol

I mean, I do have some limited sexual experience, but I've never had any conversations like that obviously, so you may be right for all I know. But even if what you claim is true, the knowledge literaly cannot be applied, since I'm not bisexual even in the slightest. So... whatever

You guys can be half gay all you want for all I care

There's a difference between understanding her and doing everything she fantasizes about. A girl listening to her boyfriend tell her how girl-on-girl action turns him on, doesn't make her "half gay", does it?

I can tell that these ideas are very threatening to your ego by the way you're responding. You might want to practice some open-mindedness and nonjudgement for if you want to have a successful long-term relationship at some point.

On 28/10/2022 at 6:59 PM, meadow said:

@flowboy how do you even find the energy to bother explaining this to this type of guys?

At some point my kids are going to be 14 too. It's good practice

[Tyler Robinson]

@flowboy are you joking? Do you really have kids? 

When did you have them? 

You look so damn young. 

 

Edited October 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[King Merk]

The most attractive thing is you being comfortable in your sexuality. I’ve dated multiple bisexual women and they were the same to me as the heterosexual women were. 

Someone else who’s really comfortable in their sexuality won’t have an issue with it. Obviously some closed minded people will but do you really wanna date those people in the first place? 

[Byun Sean]

its really not that complex. 

If you're into someone, you're into them. Penis, vagina, attack helipcopter it doesn't matter. 

The point is that you're into them and they are into you lol.

 

If the relationship is legit, they won't leave you just because you like both sexes. If they do leave you, the relationship wasn't legit in the first place.

So there really isn't a way it can go wrong here unless of course you lie. Then you're pretty screwed lol. 

 

Just don't say anything about sexuality. You don't ever need to bring it up unless they directly ask u. All they need to know from the start is that you find them attractive.

Edited October 30, 2022 by Byun Sean

[Valach]

12 hours ago, KH2 said:

Yup, extremely threatening. Every morning I travel around the world in a plane, finding the nearest anti-gay marches, and chanting "Down with the gays! Down with the gays!" Then I come back home in the evenings, to meet up with my secret gay lover.

A lot of you beliefs can be so deep and so attached to your perception of who you are that you will not even notice them. You can definitly be more biased towards heterosexuality because deep down you belief that it's more manly to fuck girls or just 'act' manly. I am not saying that's you, I am not saying you are homophobic or anything just pointing out how people sometimes are.

Eventhough I am probably not 100% heterosexual (still discovering myself in this) I still can feel a bit of anti gay bias in me. I think a lot of it is cultural and given we share basically same culture, I wouldn't be surprised if you struggled with it too.

[Ry4n]

On 30/10/2022 at 6:14 PM, KH2 said:

Yup, extremely threatening. Every morning I travel around the world in a plane, finding the nearest anti-gay marches, and chanting "Down with the gays! Down with the gays!" Then I come back home in the evenings, to meet up with my secret gay lover.

LOL!

I on my computer, know exactly what a literal stranger on the internet using a limited communication form is thinking and feeling and his/her most innermost desires and insecurities. Psychic! 

[museumoftrees]

My guess is that some girls would find it attractive, some would be indifferent to it and some would be outright disgusted by it. Thing is, no one would be able to give you a distribution in percentages of those 3 groups unless they did a rigorous social study. My speculation is that girls from less developed countries or from religious and conservative communities will especially be averse to your bisexuality and find it unattractive. 

Anyhow, i’m pretty sure you can still pull hot girls or get girlfriends while being bisexual, especially in this day and age.