Would I be less attractive to girls if I turned bisexual?

[Jannes]

I am mostly into girls and I could probably be happy with only being with girls my entire life. I can count the number of times when I found a men attractive on one hand but I got at least a small place for that for sure. The thing is just that I am extremely open to new perspectives that would come with trying something like this out. I would just like to know how females would react to that. If a girl is bisexual it’s mostly not a big deal for a guy but I feel like it’s more of a big deal for girls when a guy is bisexual. My thought is that I might not gain anything from turning bisexual at all but loose attraction to females. I know it’s pretty stupid to compromise yourself that way and that fear shouldn’t stop you but this thought is still harassing me and I have the desire to think it to the end. 

[WalterM]

If you want something serious with someone, you better show your preferences right from the beginning or else you'll just be hiding a big part of your sexual preferences until it's no longer sustainable or healthy.

If you want nothing serious and live in a big city, I don't think you need to be revealing that you're bisexual to girls if you don't want to, as you'll probably no longer see her again. If you live in a small city, probably some girls are gonna be turned off by it, some others more open minded will not. Up to you to decide what you'll feel more confortable doing.

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Imagine if a girl told you that she is a lesbian but attracted to you as well. 

I'm not sure how you would react. But it's a turn off for me. My ex told me that he was bisexual after the relationship was over. I felt bad because he could said that before and I wouldn't have preferred dating him. 

Nothing against gay relationships. But I don't want to be stuck in a messy situation. 

 

[Jannes]

4 minutes ago, WalterM said:

If you want something serious with someone, you better show your preferences right from the beginning or else you'll just be hiding a big part of your sexual preferences until it's no longer sustainable or healthy.

If you want nothing serious and live in a big city, I don't think you need to be revealing that you're bisexual to girls if you don't want to, as you'll probably no longer see her again. If you live in a small city, probably some girls are gonna be turned off by it, some others more open minded will not. Up to you to decide what you'll feel more confortable doing.

 

Nah I just want to tip a foot in the water and then see how I feel about it. Maybe I don’t even like it. I am just very open curious.

[WalterM]

Just go for it and try! You'll never know how you'll feel, if you don't do it some times and see. Then you can decide how to go on.

[Jannes]

7 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Imagine if a girl told you that she is a lesbian but attracted to you as well. 

That would make her bisexual. I am really into girls. 

7 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I'm not sure how you would react. But it's a turn off for me. My ex told me that he was bisexual after the relationship was over. I felt bad because he could said that before and I wouldn't have preferred dating him. 

Nothing against gay relationships. But I don't want to be stuck in a messy situation. 

That makes sense. I think I know a lot more girls that are bisexual then heterosexual. I mind it a bit but not that much that it really matters. 

[NoSelfSelf]

Mindset from title is why shes not attracted and why would you even care to be attracted to women? you should be attracted to yourself im glad im out of that hell...

[flowboy]

@Jannes  My girl's fantasy is for me to be bisexual.

Most women I know love to see guy on guy action.

Think about it: don't you love to see girls make out? Would it make you jealous?

There you go.

They just want to be sure that if they're in a relationship with you, that's enough for you, that you don't need to date guys also at the same time.

It tends to make people insecure if they can't be everything that you need to be satisfied.

But then if you have the relationship, I bet if she's an open-minded girl she'd love it if you'd experiment with guys, probably even beg to watch.

[Roy]

Why would they need to know you're bisexual at all? It's not really relevant to them and they don't need to know unless you wanted to tell them?

[Tyler Robinson]

It's unethical to not let the person who you're dating know your sexuality. They have a right to know who they are sleeping with. 

It's like I'm sleeping with someone and next day they tell me that they are transgender. Nope. That's not okay. 

Sexuality is key in dating and people have sexual preferences. It's best to disclose these before you sleep with someone. Not to disappoint them later. Won't be fair. 

All your sexual preferences and orientations and even fantasies should be made known clearly before sleeping with the person who you're dating. Some people take advantage of such things and do cruel things during sex and defend it later as a sexual fantasy which wasn't really on the mind of the other person. It's ground for sexual misconduct and abusing consent. 

[Jannes]

4 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Mindset from title is why shes not attracted and why would you even care to be attracted to women? you should be attracted to yourself im glad im out of that hell...

It’s part of my identify which I try to protect I guess. 

4 hours ago, flowboy said:

@Jannes  They just want to be sure that if they're in a relationship with you, that's enough for you, that you don't need to date guys also at the same time.

It tends to make people insecure if they can't be everything that you need to be satisfied.

Yeah I think this sums it up perfectly. 

[Jannes]

4 hours ago, flowboy said:

@Jannes  My girl's fantasy is for me to be bisexual.

Most women I know love to see guy on guy action.

Think about it: don't you love to see girls make out? Would it make you jealous?

There you go.

3 hours ago, KH2 said:

Your gf's fantasy is for you to get fucked by/fucking other guy??

Yeah idk about that. I can’t really imagine that it would be hot for a girl to watch me get fucked in the ass. That’s not really an epic presentation of my masculinity ?? But maybe I am just to close minded. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Jannes That's exactly it! but why does it matter if thats who you are...so you are afraid they wont want you or leave you then why would you care about those women...

This dating game is like how should i be for someone, selling my soul and who i am just for a little bit of love or whatever you gonna get its pathetic in my eyes...rather being completely you and find someone who likes that not changing or manuvering so they like you artificially...(you shouldnt even want them to like you but its same principle)...

Core belief who i am cant be accepted or loved by anyone ?

[Jannes]

30 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Jannes That's exactly it! but why does it matter if thats who you are...so you are afraid they wont want you or leave you then why would you care about those women...

This dating game is like how should i be for someone, selling my soul and who i am just for a little bit of love or whatever you gonna get its pathetic in my eyes...rather being completely you and find someone who likes that not changing or manuvering so they like you artificially...(you shouldnt even want them to like you but its same principle)...

Core belief who i am cant be accepted or loved by anyone ?

Yeah that’s a bit of a core belief of myself. But going about it in a way where you say „I shouldn’t have that belief" and fight against it also doesn’t help.

And we hardwired to act in whatever way benefits our survival. If I loose value in the dating market that was that would be pretty detrimental from a survival point of view. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Jannes What about the firtst part of my message ?

It sounds you want it all like every women ever its like coca cola trying to get into car market ok if you that big and wanna dedicate to be everything that every woman wants and who cares about you and who you are, go do it ?...

Edited October 28, 2022 by NoSelfSelf

[Jannes]

23 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Jannes What about the firtst part of my message ?

It sounds you want it all like every women ever its like coca cola trying to get into car market ok if you that big and wanna dedicate to be everything that every woman wants and who cares about you and who you are, go do it ?...

It’s hard enough to find a partner with similar values anyway. If in this discussion it turned out that 80% of women don’t find bisexual men attractive (although that’s not what the discussion is pointing to) my chances of finding the rare gem would be severely lowered. In the end you have to compromise yourself at least a bit. Sure the goal is to do it the lowest amount but you have to limit yourself at least a bit. And the best strategy is to find low effort, high reward things so things that are easy to change on yourself but have a big positive effect on your partner. We all do it. Why do you wear nice clothes instead of joggers to work? Because you it’s an easy fix for a big reward. (like not getting fired) As I said I would be happy with only doing stuff with girls my whole life. Relatively speaking if a lot of girls wouldn’t like bisexual dudes that would be a low effort high reward change for me. Maybe even a zero effort high reward thing if it turns out that I don’t even like dudes ?

[flowboy]

10 hours ago, KH2 said:

Your gf's fantasy is for you to get fucked by/fucking other guy??

If you need to put it in such crude terms, yes.

It's not just mine, most women get turned on by /fantasize about guy on guy action, especially if the guy is someone they are already attracted to. Not all of them will admit it.

Like I said, it's quite a perfect parallel with the other way around.

Experience with women will show you this.

[flowboy]

7 hours ago, Jannes said:

Yeah idk about that. I can’t really imagine that it would be hot for a girl to watch me get fucked in the ass. That’s not really an epic presentation of my masculinity ?? But maybe I am just to close minded.

All these assumptions with you guys. Did you bother to verify them, like actually ask women who you are in intimate connection with, and who are self-aware and trust you enough that they would tell you the truth about what they could get turned on by?

Your understanding of what turns women on is very limited, if you think that she only gets wet by seeing you be stereotypically masculine.

[meadow]

@flowboy how do you even find the energy to bother explaining this to this type of guys?

[Emrie]

To biphobic people, yeah. Then again, do you really wanna sleep with biphobes?

If the answer is yeah, and I don't really blame you, trick is to sleep with them a bunch of times before telling them.

That way, if they break things off, it's their fault they have to confront their biphobia, and you got laid.