Burning out, Advice?

[Realms of Wonder]

Hi Actualizing crew,

 

I am starting to burn out, and I dont know why or what to do. I am finding myself more and more drawn to distracting myself, procrastination, and unfulfilling activities when I do have any "free"/in between time, and it is leaving me drained, emotionally, physically and creatively. I am also noticing my sleep schedule as  being off, sleeping less then necessary to perform the way I want to at school and work and in my personal life.

 

Context: (where I am at/What I am doing)

• 24, decently fit, eating decently healthy
• Working 35 hours a week as a cook.
• Going to school full time for massage therapy, now 4 weeks in. (18 hours of class, 10-16 hours study/homework.)
• Continuing to meditate at least 15 minutes in busy days, up to 30 on others.
• Taking a walk in the morning 4 times a week.
• Creating music around 2-3 hours a week
• Meal prepping around 2 hours a week
• Biking to school 3 days a week (around 2 hours of biking)
• Reading (outside of textbooks) around 2 hours a week.
• YouTube, Averaging 2-3 hours a week
• Phone, averaging 1.2 hours a day
• Watching about 1 movie a week
• Jerking off 3-7 times a week

 

Context: (Why I am doing it)

• I am working full time to pay my bills, and going to massage school to become a LMT.
• My long term vision is to be an independent Music artist, to play music that expands peoples consciousness of their self by expressing Authenticity with Music.
• I want a stable, low hour, high impact, well paying job as the next chapter of my career, allowing me to invest 20-25 hours into my Life purpose (Music.)
• I want to impact people with massage, I see it as a manual/physical way to bring awareness back to their self, for them to experience themselves from new perspectives and understand why they are the way they are.
• I want to be financially free, stable, and have a healthy psychology of money.
• I want to meet my basic needs so I can Self-Actualize on a new level.
• I see this chapter as setting up the foundation to build my life into my Zone of genius (Songwriting)

 

I am feeling overwhelmed, unsure whether I can keep it up for the 15 months of school, scared of what would happen if I burn out, excited for school, sad I am not out in nature more, I miss playing music every day, I miss having more free time, I feel my mind is breaking itself trying to figure out what is going on, I feel myself changing, I feel ego Backlashes like I haven't felt before. And I am not sure what to do.

 

I am really trying to accept myself through this, love myself through this, remove the NEED to perform or be perfect through this, to allow myself to express my feelings and love all of that. I know that I will be okay, maybe this is just a transition period, or not, I dont know, either way, I know in the end I will be fine.

 

What do you see in this?

What perspective/wisdom would you add?

What would you do differently?

What resources have helped you with burnout? 
 

Thanks for considering replying, All the best, I send to you desire to be authentic, and love <3 

 

 

Edited October 27, 2022 by Realms of Wonder
Addition of resources question

[Asayake]

While not a complete solution to your problem, this video has helped me in times of dealing with a lot of stress. Doing this when you feel you need to release tension that is building up is great.

 

[King Merk]

Sounds to me like you need more time to play & create music. Perhaps find a way to bumps that up to an hour a day?

Also If you could find a way to work part time rather than full I can see that being helpful with the burnout.

Maybe getting a roommate or cutting expenses elsewhere so you can work less & focus more on your music. 

[thepixelmonk]

I'm not sure there's any real simple solution or advice here. Supporting yourself with a full-time job through school while simultaneously working on your self-development is a massive undertaking. The only real thing that pops into my head is to give yourself serious props for even being able to upkeep all of this and to accept some level of burnout and discipline as a necessary part of the process. Leo's how to be decisive video comes to mind and really resonated with me. My advice would be to maximize your level of internal clarity as much as genuinely possible. The more time you can spend within a mindset of clear execution the easier the process will be.

[Thought Art]

I went through same thing with my accounting program.

Rest, ensure and seek to enjoy the process.

[Realms of Wonder]

10 hours ago, Asayake said:

While not a complete solution to your problem, this video has helped me in times of dealing with a lot of stress. Doing this when you feel you need to release tension that is building up is great.

 

Thank you  may help release pent up emotions.

[Realms of Wonder]

8 hours ago, thepixelmonk said:

I'm not sure there's any real simple solution or advice here. Supporting yourself with a full-time job through school while simultaneously working on your self-development is a massive undertaking. The only real thing that pops into my head is to give yourself serious props for even being able to upkeep all of this and to accept some level of burnout and discipline as a necessary part of the process. 

@thepixelmonk Thank you for pointing that out, its easy for me to forget to appreciate myself for the work being done. 

8 hours ago, thepixelmonk said:

Leo's how to be decisive video comes to mind and really resonated with me. My advice would be to maximize your level of internal clarity as much as genuinely possible. The more time you can spend within a mindset of clear execution the easier the process will be.

Love that Video, its what led me to pulling the trigger to go to school.

That's really good advice, I think you're saying to focus in and connect with why I made the decision, and move/do from that place, am I understanding you?

[Cat]

It's good to do more when you can do more but when you can't do more just take it back even if just a little bit you will get much better results this way and enjoy the process more. Instead of making yourself feel overwhelmed try making yourself feel underwhelmed it might surprise you.

[thepixelmonk]

49 minutes ago, Realms of Wonder said:

That's really good advice, I think you're saying to focus in and connect with why I made the decision, and move/do from that place, am I understanding you?

Exactly. The more you can connect with your core values and spend time executing on already made decisions that you believe in, the clearer your headspace will be and the less anxiety you'll have.

[museumoftrees]

23 hours ago, Realms of Wonder said:

Hi Actualizing crew,

 

I am starting to burn out, and I dont know why or what to do. I am finding myself more and more drawn to distracting myself, procrastination, and unfulfilling activities when I do have any "free"/in between time, and it is leaving me drained, emotionally, physically and creatively. I am also noticing my sleep schedule as  being off, sleeping less then necessary to perform the way I want to at school and work and in my personal life.

 

Context: (where I am at/What I am doing)

• 24, decently fit, eating decently healthy
• Working 35 hours a week as a cook.
• Going to school full time for massage therapy, now 4 weeks in. (18 hours of class, 10-16 hours study/homework.)
• Continuing to meditate at least 15 minutes in busy days, up to 30 on others.
• Taking a walk in the morning 4 times a week.
• Creating music around 2-3 hours a week
• Meal prepping around 2 hours a week
• Biking to school 3 days a week (around 2 hours of biking)
• Reading (outside of textbooks) around 2 hours a week.
• YouTube, Averaging 2-3 hours a week
• Phone, averaging 1.2 hours a day
• Watching about 1 movie a week
• Jerking off 3-7 times a week

 

Context: (Why I am doing it)

• I am working full time to pay my bills, and going to massage school to become a LMT.
• My long term vision is to be an independent Music artist, to play music that expands peoples consciousness of their self by expressing Authenticity with Music.
• I want a stable, low hour, high impact, well paying job as the next chapter of my career, allowing me to invest 20-25 hours into my Life purpose (Music.)
• I want to impact people with massage, I see it as a manual/physical way to bring awareness back to their self, for them to experience themselves from new perspectives and understand why they are the way they are.
• I want to be financially free, stable, and have a healthy psychology of money.
• I want to meet my basic needs so I can Self-Actualize on a new level.
• I see this chapter as setting up the foundation to build my life into my Zone of genius (Songwriting)

 

I am feeling overwhelmed, unsure whether I can keep it up for the 15 months of school, scared of what would happen if I burn out, excited for school, sad I am not out in nature more, I miss playing music every day, I miss having more free time, I feel my mind is breaking itself trying to figure out what is going on, I feel myself changing, I feel ego Backlashes like I haven't felt before. And I am not sure what to do.

 

I am really trying to accept myself through this, love myself through this, remove the NEED to perform or be perfect through this, to allow myself to express my feelings and love all of that. I know that I will be okay, maybe this is just a transition period, or not, I dont know, either way, I know in the end I will be fine.

 

What do you see in this?

What perspective/wisdom would you add?

What would you do differently?

What resources have helped you with burnout? 
 

Thanks for considering replying, All the best, I send to you desire to be authentic, and love <3 

 

 

Keep going. It sounds like you are well structured and getting ahead on your goals. My advice would be to schedule a day off or half a day off every 6 days to just do nothing. No pressure to advance any of your goal. Let your mind wander during that period, be as unproductive as you can be. Burning comes from always putting pressure on yourself, at all times. So to avoid burning off, turn off the flame.

[strwbrycough]

You need to buckle down and get practical, do one thing at a time and conquer it, if its money do money, if its music do music. Like I have a very lofty life purpose that required me to be financially stable first, what did i do? started being a minimalist, finding every way to reduce my "operational cost of living", that still wasnt doing it for me, I needed drastic action. I got rid of everything except my car, Went to be a truck driver and while i was driving i could continue my education Audios, Courses, Wealth building ETC while not taking Debt, Kept my minimalist principals , Now 4.5 years later I own my own time, Financially free and get to work on my purpose unimpeded. You need to generate a plan to get you where you want to go, if it takes 5 years to be able to work full time on your purpose thats what it takes you have a low momentum situation and you need to build that up.

[Realms of Wonder]

On 10/28/2022 at 10:40 AM, museumoftrees said:

Keep going. It sounds like you are well structured and getting ahead on your goals. My advice would be to schedule a day off or half a day off every 6 days to just do nothing. No pressure to advance any of your goal. Let your mind wander during that period, be as unproductive as you can be. Burning comes from always putting pressure on yourself, at all times. So to avoid burning off, turn off the flame.

Applying this advice tomorrow, no goal related activities aside from meal prep. Thanks for the advice  

[Realms of Wonder]

3 hours ago, strwbrycough said:

You need to buckle down and get practical, do one thing at a time and conquer it, if its money do money, if its music do music. Like I have a very lofty life purpose that required me to be financially stable first, what did i do? started being a minimalist, finding every way to reduce my "operational cost of living", that still wasnt doing it for me, I needed drastic action. I got rid of everything except my car, Went to be a truck driver and while i was driving i could continue my education Audios, Courses, Wealth building ETC while not taking Debt, Kept my minimalist principals , Now 4.5 years later I own my own time, Financially free and get to work on my purpose unimpeded. You need to generate a plan to get you where you want to go, if it takes 5 years to be able to work full time on your purpose thats what it takes you have a low momentum situation and you need to build that up.

I think you are saying to let go of anything other then the most important thing to master in this chapter of life, to give my attention fully to that and see it through till the end, then move onto the next thing, am I understanding you? 

 

Not sure how I am being impractical, working a cooking job is unfulfilling, and it keeps me mired in my zone of competence. Going to school for massage therapy is my focus, and is the one thing my effort is going towards building for the next 15 months till I graduate and then pass the MBLEX to become licensed. Why? Because through that process I move into my zone of excellence, and to have more time to focus on my Life Purpose, (play music that expands peoples consciousness of their self by expressing Authenticity with Music,) and zone of genius, Songwriting.

 

You are right, it wont be quick, it will take almost a year and a half to build a foundation (career wise,) to engineer a situation that allows me to focus 20-25 hours a week on my calling, being an independent music artist. 

 

I am doing my best to think big picture, yes, right now I am not able to give much attention to music, but in two years, when I am practicing as a massage therapist I will be able to pay my bills well by helping others, and working 20-25 hours a week, that's an ideal situation for  me to build my fanbase, continue to hone my skills and develop mastery. Long term, this is a stepping stone, I recognize that. 

 

As far as plans go...You have no idea  

Edited October 30, 2022 by Realms of Wonder

[Michael569]

It's really impressive how much you are doing at 24. I don't see anything wrong with any of those activities but maybe you are a little too overcommitted. 

When was the last time you took a holiday? Do you also do things that don't necessarily lead to anything other than just chilling and taking it easy? 

Ultimately, what is the reason you are doing all of this? Is it financial independence? That's an ultramarathon and sometimes letting of of the outcome a bit and loosening up can go a long way. 

What that means is that's it's ok not to work some days on your gig and just chill and play a video game or enjoy your favourite series without feeling guilty about it.  Or instead of a work-packed Saturday go into the nature and do some photography. You know...stuff like that. 

Otherwise, without sufficient rest you will indeed burn out. 

 

Edited October 31, 2022 by Michael569

[puporing]

On 27/10/2022 at 0:36 PM, Realms of Wonder said:

Working 35 hours a week as a cook.

This to me sounds a bit crazy considering you're in school full time. I mean maybe okay temporarily but yeah you're doing 2 full time jobs... so of course there would be burn out.. (I'm not saying it can't be done but obviously you're experiencing difficulties). Are there options where you can work less while in school? Maybe having a roomate or some minimal living arrangement?

[Kshantivadin]

thank you for the inspiration 

[Realms of Wonder]

Thank you all for your input, Especially @puporing @Michael569 @museumoftrees @thepixelmonk @King Merk @Asayake

With your perspective plus my personal experience of this, I realize I am taking on too much at once, working this much plus everything else is really taking its toll, its not allowing me to take care of myself the way I want to, or to really enjoy schooling.

 

Thankfully, my parents swooped in, and are giving me financial support during this chapter, I started crying when they offered, ugly crying, snot and tears running LOL, for a solid 3-4 minutes as I realized just how emotionally spent I was, and how big of a difference it would make to cut my hours down to 26 per week at work.

 

They saw me burning out and extended it to me, wanting the process of learning, growing and becoming a massage therapist to be more enjoyable, that's Love, they aren't telling me what to do, just cheerleading my dreams, wow. 

 

This will give space to play music a bit more, make some time for nature, and study the way I want to, enjoying this journey.   

On 10/31/2022 at 8:34 AM, Michael569 said:

Ultimately, what is the reason you are doing all of this? Is it financial independence? That's an ultramarathon and sometimes letting of of the outcome a bit and loosening up can go a long way.

Ultimately, going to school to be a massage therapist is the foundation of my future Life Purpose, to be financially free, independent music artist.

 

Thank you for that perspective, you're right, its not a sprint, but I have been treating it like one.. No wonder I have been burning out   

[Joules]

It sounds like you got what you needed, but just in case you do want more (or if someone else reading this thread wants more), I highly recommend the book Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price, PhD.

I am just now finally completing my recovery from the worst burnout of my life. It has taken me over a year to recover, and for the first three months I was completely useless. My brain stopped functioning properly. I couldn't even read fiction -- I could read the words, but I couldn't make sense of the story. Talking became difficult, too. It was scary, because I didn't know what was happening to me.

After a lot of trial-and-error to learn the right kinds of self-care for me, along with acupuncture and herbalism treatment from a naturopathic physician, I slowly began to recover earlier this year. As I recovered, I did lots of research to try to figure out what the hell had happened. I found out two things: 1. I'm autistic and didn't know it, which is why my burnout looked the way that it did. 2. I've been severely overworking myself most of my life, and this had only gotten worse as I'd discovered my life purpose, gotten super passionate about it, and went into overdrive.

Dr. Devon Price's book helped me the most with the second discovery. It gave me a completely new perspective. It helped me see that when I'm feeling "lazy", that's not something to fight or ignore -- it's in fact a valuable signal to pay attention to. There can be many different causes, but it's always a legitimate message from my subconscious.

Following one's Life Purpose is a marathon, not a sprint. I now strongly believe that a critical part of winning the marathon is to learn how to pace oneself and to take the necessary breaks.

[supremeyingyang]

@Realms of Wonder

Hey, you do two major things (work and school) which have nothing to do with your long term goal (doing music) beside that the schooling COULD provide a job opportunity to do what you want later. No wonder that you starting to burn out. I'd advice you to choose just 2 out of the three. If you do now school and work, then that's it until you are done. If you do spontaneously music then it's good, if not good as well.