Manhood

[Tyler Robinson]

Embodying manhood into my personality. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 I'm reflecting on what manhood means. 

And it means a lot to me. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I consider manhood to reflect extraordinary courage. 

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm a silly Mormon. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

So I was pretty much stage Green for the whole year. But past few weeks I'm experiencing a pull towards stage Blue. (Andrew Tot effect, lol joking) 

I'm liking the discipline, moral integrity aspect of stage Blue. I used to have a shadow against stage Blue. I thought of Blue as cruel moralizing judgemental people. 

Lately I've been witnessing a different side to Blue - the sacrificial sacred side. Parents sacrificing and saving up money for their kids, instilling strong values so that their kids will turn into disciplined hard working adults. Although I always had a rebellious freaky personality, I'm beginning to see the wisdom in conformism. 

Not all conformist patterns are bad. Sometimes we need conformist trends for a peaceful society. 

I'm regressing a bit into Blue. Now im dangling between Blue and Green.. This space is tiny but not that bad. A tiny sliver of stage Blue conformity and stage green freedom. 

 

Edited October 28, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Manhood means achieving something, getting stuff done. 

I'm trying to keep myself calm and happy. I have to realize that this has to be my base state. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm also trying to look at ways to engage myself. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I love listening to asmr videos. 

They calm me down. 

 

Edited October 29, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Baby sometimes it's hard I know. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

A man can never love me forever anyway.