Effective Communication bypassing the Ego.

[Phil777]

My post critiquing Leo's Leftist episode stirred a few heated arguments and even got an insult out of Leo. Maybe because I called him stupid in my initial post... but then again he called most of humanity stupid to begin with so he did it first haha what childish shit this is.

Leo thought I am trying to gaslight him. What I actually tried to do is provoke him to reconsider his views and address my concerns through intellectual warfare (coming up with the best arguments and dropping them with ferocity). I was naive it would have the effect I intended. So what I was lacking was EQ, not realizing what emotions I would stir and being too unconscious of my own emotions while writing it out: Although I still think I am trying to do what's right, do the loving thing, I was coming from arrogance, pride, and anger

I think if I had stated things more respectfully, maybe asking for clarification or further insight, I would have 1. gotten, better more useful responses for myself, and 2. maybe would have gotten Leo to think about my points a bit more seriously and 3. everyone reading it would have gotten more constructive perspectives, insights, and a better vibe out of it.

Now I am just really curious how we can transcend this ineffective and hostile way of debating and come up with good communication strategies that are not only way more effective at communicating the intended meaning behind what we said but also induce a warmer "vibe" in the forum. I don't know about you but I appreciate a sense of acceptance and openness. So how can you talk about difficult, complex, and controversial topics in a warm, civil, and chill way without compromising depth or truth?

If someone starts to become insulting, we address the emotion behind that with compassion instead of lashing out for example. I feel like we got a ton of IQ and SQ (spiritual intelligence) but maybe a lack of EQ going on. I am probably projecting a lot, I am sure, so I speak mostly for myself here.

Does anyone have any good tips or maybe book recommendations that revolutionized your communication effectiveness and harmony in your relationships?

Cheers.

Edited October 25, 2022 by Phil777

[Phil777]

To balance things out: Leo appreciation post coming soon 

Edited October 25, 2022 by Phil777

[meta_male]

@Phil777 We need more people like you, dude. Beautiful post ?

I guess we've all fallen into the same trap and sometimes we're unaware of our own emotions in the heat of a conversation. Some people value truth more, others value harmony more. Both should be okay to express in authentic ways and most users are just doing the best they can from their perspective in that moment.

Overall, I think it would be healthiest if we were more okay with taking an insult every now and again 

[Jodistrict]

https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=F2O1FHPOCN0N&keywords=nonviolent+communication+by+marshall+rosenberg&qid=1666844417&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIxLjY1IiwicXNhIjoiMS4wMiIsInFzcCI6IjAuOTMifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=nonviolent%2Caps%2C139&sr=8-1

 

[The0Self]

56 minutes ago, lxlichael said:

@Phil777 You just need to reach the ego-aware stage.

Easy peasy ? 

[Phil777]

On 27.10.2022 at 6:05 AM, lxlichael said:

@Phil777 You just need to reach the ego-aware stage.

I'll go do that over the weekend. Next week should be amazing???

Edited October 28, 2022 by Phil777

[The0Self]

1 hour ago, Phil777 said:

I'll go do that over the weekend. Next week should be amazing???

Why wait? Just do it right now! ?