The Way Of Mastery

[Raptorsin7]

Oof. It's a been a stressful few days getting everything ready for my trip. I basically booked my flight and got everything sorted in the few days before I'm leaving.

Within a week i'll be at the Ards Friary in Ireland and then within the month I'll be in a state of ecstasy and surrender to god.

[Raptorsin7]

It hurts to read the posts by people on the forum. There's virtually no one here with genuine love and compassion in their hearts.

Read the recent posts by a guy like @Michael Jackson who is genuine and speaks with love compared to any mod and it's night and day.

But I've been good at not engaging with others on the forum. I think it would be great to just post on my journal and it can be a way to express myself and then vent a bit when stuff on the forum triggers me.

Edited October 28, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Edited October 29, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

I've grown in a lot in my compassion and tolerance towards black people. This video makes me tear up about how unjust these kids are treated 

[Raptorsin7]

@KH2 Yeah no doubt

[Raptorsin7]

I'm at the Vancouver Airport waiting to board my flight. 

It is my sincerest wish that this trap is a transformational experience.

I'm 27 years old but I've only had a few months of genuine enjoyment of life in the past decade. I want to evolve and to live a meaningful and adventurous existence.

Good luck to myself and God speed 

[Ulax]

Good luck dude.

You ever fucked with heavy metal btw?

[Raptorsin7]

6 hours ago, Ulax said:

Good luck dude.

You ever fucked with heavy metal btw?

Thanks bro.

No I never was into it. But I know I have some suppressed rage and I think the genre speaks to guys like me. 

Why?

[Ulax]

@Raptorsin7 When I wrote the message I was experimenting with using heavy metal to try to dive into some repressed/ suppressed rage.

And I thought you might have some supressed/ repressed rage as well. So I thought it could be of value to you too.

[Raptorsin7]

On 10/31/2022 at 2:17 AM, Ulax said:

@Raptorsin7 When I wrote the message I was experimenting with using heavy metal to try to dive into some repressed/ suppressed rage.

And I thought you might have some supressed/ repressed rage as well. So I thought it could be of value to you too.

Thanks bro. I do have suppressed rage and it's something I want to work through. I'll experiment with it.

[Raptorsin7]

So I'm at the retreat now.

I am so lucky to be around a group of loving, compassionate, and wise souls. Everyone here is so genuine and they are a blessing to be around.

I feel much more compassionate, present and loving so far. And I still have 4 days left at the retreat.

I'll post some cool pics I've taken so far

This is my room below

 

Edited November 5, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

Edited November 5, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

This is a beach that's about a 2 minute walk from the main building called Ards Friary

 

[Ulax]

Great stuff dude!

[eos_nyxia]

Wow... this is such a beautiful place! It looks so peaceful there.

[Zeroguy]

Awesome!

[Raptorsin7]

@Ulax Thank you

9 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

Wow... this is such a beautiful place! It looks so peaceful there.

 @eos_nyxia Yeah, it's really incredible being here. The setting on the ocean and in the forest plus the loving people is really a site to behold.

@Zeroguy ?

Edited November 6, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

Edited November 6, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

[Raptorsin7]

Only 2 days left on the retreat. It's gone by really quickly, I wish it were longer but I also have hit a wall with my progress.

The phobia of shitting myself and getting shamed has come up for me, but don't feel ready to really confront it (whatever that means lmao). I can't fully surrender because that comes up and my ego jumps in to resist.

I think I thrive in semi-isolation. When I'm around too many people I find I'm very guarded and my ego is more active. But when I'm truly alone the wheels fall off, like how much more I've used my phone these past 2 days. 

I'm still really confused and lost, but I've really enjoyed my time here. Not sure what will be next, but I think I'd enjoy doing another vipassana retreat or some other form of reclusive practice so I can purify and retreat into myself.