The Way Of Mastery

[Raptorsin7]

So after a hiatus from the forum I find myself lurking a lot more these past few weeks and i've been tempted to make a new journal so here I am.

I really want to avoid any further conflicts on this forum so i'm going to try to just stick to my journal and avoid any controversial topics and to avoid sharing some of my more controversial views. This journal is just going to be for me to enjoy sharing what's going on and for people who appreciate my perspective to comment and share.

I'm really excited for the next few months. I'm going to Ireland for a retreat in a week and I think it will be a miraculous experience. 

https://wayofmastery.com/

This teaching by a yeshua channel has been so amazing. It's all about love and when he speaks you can feel the love in his words. So far this is the best teaching i've come across and i can't wait to see where it leads.

This is where the retreat is being held. It's apparently on a 200acre property on the Atlantic coast. Man i'm so happy to be going. I've already felt much more loving and at peace this past week by applying the teachings, but this is going to be a whole other level. 

We had a zoom call today for everyone attending the retreat and we all set our intentions and I realized my main intention. I want to heal my brain and headaches and release the repressed emotions that are wound up in my being. I already began this process during the vipassana retreat and I expect this retreat to take it to another level beyond that.

 

[Raptorsin7]

I'm also going to be travelling through Europe for a few months after the retreat. I still have to do a lot to prepare lol, I'm very last minute but hey as long as I get there that's what matters.

I'm hoping to go to at least France, Germany, Spain and maybe Italy. I'm also going to reach out to some friends from the forum to see if they want to get together, that would be a fun experience for sure.

I'll post some pictures here of my trip which will be fun. The air port, hotels/rooms/, retreat etc. 

[Raptorsin7]

I love this song. Women with angelic voices are next level. Maybe i'll meet an angel while i'm travelling (:

[Raptorsin7]

I really gotta check myself so i don't get dragged into the forum arguments. There's a collective triggered/maddening energy to the forum that will suck you in. It's very rare for two people to disagree or present alternative views while being in harmony with each other.

It's funny because I know i've been a toxic asshole to people on here, and then when it happens to you it's like oh yeah i guess i kinda deserve that lol.

[Raptorsin7]

 

[Raptorsin7]

 

[Raptorsin7]

Love isn't all sun shine and rainbows. Many people project onto love what they think should be love. Love is love and all we can do is surrender to it and allow it to transform us.

[Raptorsin7]

The major blindspot of this forum is most, if not all, people are introverts and isolate themselves socially (myself included). They use this forum as a substitute for genuine social interaction. Human-human connection is another ball game and if you are able to be with another in a loving embrace that in itself is a profound spiritual practice.

Everyone's trauma stems from interpersonal interactions. Our mothers and fathers were our first love and because 99% of people carry intergenerational trauma they will withhold love from their children for whatever reason and that sets a model for the child to withhold love in the future. To heal this pattern we can form healthy loving relationships with other human beings, but this requires a deep vulnerability and willingness to expose yourself.

https://wayofmastery.com/blog/choosing-peace

The way of mastery has an ashram in Bali that I would love to spend time at, depending on how this retreat goes. My main goal is a healing of the brain and body, in a way that I experienced on my LSD trips a few years back, and with that healthy "state" I would be better positioned to find a passion project and break my dependence on my parents for money. This year i'm really going to take advantage of my privilege and attend as many retreats and different healing modalities as possible. For the past 2 years i've been growing slowly but it's time to take the training wheels off and throw myself into the world of healing and see where it leads me. I've already experienced the goal so I know what I want, but embodiment is the only true currency on the path and until I am pure energy and bliss there is work to do.

The next place i'm going to go after the Ireland retreat is Sadhguru's ashram in India.

I'm also going to do an aryuveda detox in India while i'm there. I spoke with my aryvueda doctor and she said there's a clinic in Coimbatore India, the same location as the Isha Ashram, so I will spend some time there to see what it feels like to have a full cleanse. 

I'm also going to try a pranayama program to learn a formal breathing practice. This has been a huge revelation i've come across recently, the power of deep and conscious breathing. The breathe is healing. Breathing is like drinking water it has healing effects on the being. I've realized how powerful it is to take good supplements and drink lots of water 

 

[Asayake]

Nice to have you back man. You seem to be on a good path with the retreat and your other upcoming plans.

I'm also working through repressed emotions right now. I think most people these days have repressed emotions resulting in stress, anxiety, depression and physical ailments. I agree with you about intergenerational trauma. I think it's more common than not, and the more sensitive the child is, the more traumatic 'normal' disciplining and upbringing can be.

I became aware of this in July when I was triggered to tears by my parents during my visit there, despite having a normal upbringing my relationship with my parents is complex. My mother is a very stressed person in general and my dad is emotionally unavailable. In other words they both likely carry intergenerational trauma that's manifested itself in different ways and it's been passed on to me unconsciously. I've been doing yoga regularly the past months and it has brought up emotions and memories of events which were traumatic to me when I was a child. I now know the root cause of many of my problems and just knowing that has been a big relief. Although I'm still in the middle of the healing process, I now believe growth is possible as long as I keep up my Yoga practice, keep accepting and letting go of the past and getting in touch with my repressed emotions. There is a power there waiting to be unleashed.

Good luck with all your endeavours!

[Ulax]

On 23/10/2022 at 1:53 AM, Raptorsin7 said:

I really gotta check myself so i don't get dragged into the forum arguments. There's a collective triggered/maddening energy to the forum that will suck you in. It's very rare for two people to disagree or present alternative views while being in harmony with each other.

It's funny because I know i've been a toxic asshole to people on here, and then when it happens to you it's like oh yeah i guess i kinda deserve that lol.

@Raptorsin7 My guy, you tried letting go by Hawkins? You could apply it when something on the forum triggers you.

I just learnt about it recently and I'd say I'm spending a lot of time just watching things and engaging with content that traditionally triggers me and letting the emotions play out. Like I'd say i've started getting excited on various occasions when I've noticed something triggers me!

Edited October 24, 2022 by Ulax

[Raptorsin7]

19 hours ago, Asayake said:

Nice to have you back man. You seem to be on a good path with the retreat and your other upcoming plans.

I'm also working through repressed emotions right now. I think most people these days have repressed emotions resulting in stress, anxiety, depression and physical ailments. I agree with you about intergenerational trauma. I think it's more common than not, and the more sensitive the child is, the more traumatic 'normal' disciplining and upbringing can be.

I became aware of this in July when I was triggered to tears by my parents during my visit there, despite having a normal upbringing my relationship with my parents is complex. My mother is a very stressed person in general and my dad is emotionally unavailable. In other words they both likely carry intergenerational trauma that's manifested itself in different ways and it's been passed on to me unconsciously. I've been doing yoga regularly the past months and it has brought up emotions and memories of events which were traumatic to me when I was a child. I now know the root cause of many of my problems and just knowing that has been a big relief. Although I'm still in the middle of the healing process, I now believe growth is possible as long as I keep up my Yoga practice, keep accepting and letting go of the past and getting in touch with my repressed emotions. There is a power there waiting to be unleashed.

Good luck with all your endeavours!

Hey thanks man.

I think our parents are very similar, I guess it makes sense that we would be friends. My mom is also in a perpetual state of stress and always feels the need to be doing something, and my dad is an emotionally unavailable workaholic. 

What i've realized is that when you are present and surrender to the moment there's an energetic unwinding that begins and the key is just to allow the unwinding to occur. I think the issue is most of us have too much going on in life and so we have limited opportunities for genuine surrender and allowing, instead we wear masks and engage inauthentically with the world, which is what we learned to do as children. I really love yoga too, i learned an isha suriya kriya practice, and even though I only do it for like 15 minutes I still feel so much more balanced after I finish. I think a key is turn the process of surrender into something that can be done as often as possible, if you surrender for 1 hour with yoga but then spend 15 hours in a state of stress doership then you will progress slowly. If you have the option to do some kind of yoga or meditation retreat that could really accelerate the process.

This video is really good at pointing to an aspect of surrender. See if you can notice the subtle difference that happens when you take a moment to notice what state your currently in and then relax any sense of effort stress and just sink into what is. It feels like going from that state of constant worry and need to do something like our moms live in to a more relaxed and present state of being.

I think the key is once you are able to understand what it means to surrender and let go then it's a matter of realigning your whole life in this direction, so all aspects of life are moving towards surrendering and easing into the flow of reality. 

[Raptorsin7]

11 hours ago, Ulax said:

@Raptorsin7 My guy, you tried letting go by Hawkins? You could apply it when something on the forum triggers you.

I just learnt about it recently and I'd say I'm spending a lot of time just watching things and engaging with content that traditionally triggers me and letting the emotions play out. Like I'd say i've started getting excited on various occasions when I've noticed something triggers me!

Hey, yeah i remember listening to Hawkin's audio book on it a while ago but it never really stuck with me. I've heard good things about the Sedona method too.

Can you share your understanding of the technique in a way that I can apply it? Maybe now it will resonate more.

That's a good place to be when you start to enjoy seeing your triggers. I think anything that triggers us is just an invitation to accept and integrate that part of ourselves. 

[Ulax]

9 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Hey, yeah i remember listening to Hawkin's audio book on it a while ago but it never really stuck with me. I've heard good things about the Sedona method too.

Can you share your understanding of the technique in a way that I can apply it? Maybe now it will resonate more.

That's a good place to be when you start to enjoy seeing your triggers. I think anything that triggers us is just an invitation to accept and integrate that part of ourselves. 

@Raptorsin7 My essential understanding is the following.

Notice an emotion, place your awareness on the emotion until either the emotion goes away or transforms into something else. I also like to set a timer sometimes in case the emotion doesn't change for a while, i.e. 10mins.

And ye I like your perspective on triggers. 

[Raptorsin7]

23 hours ago, Ulax said:

@Raptorsin7 My essential understanding is the following.

Notice an emotion, place your awareness on the emotion until either the emotion goes away or transforms into something else. I also like to set a timer sometimes in case the emotion doesn't change for a while, i.e. 10mins.

And ye I like your perspective on triggers. 

Okay i got that. What do you do when it seems like the emotional doesn't change? I think one issue I had with this a while back was it felt like the emotions wouldn't shift so I was stuck just being aware of this blank emotional state that never shifted.

[Ulax]

@Raptorsin7 I relate to that dude. Firstly, that's why i set the timer, I think its probs does some help to just have awareness of it even if it doesn't obviously have an effect. Secondly, that's why i also currently choose to do things that trigger me, mostly via music or youtube vids atm, or external world, i.e. doing something slightly out of the norm and then sitting with the emotions.

It seems to me you were getting triggered by people shaming you for advocating that Nick Fuentes guy, so perhaps go watch vids of people shaming the fuck out of him. Someone like Hasanabi might be a useful one. and have awareness on the emotions that come up, if they do, for a while.

[Raptorsin7]

8 minutes ago, Ulax said:

@Raptorsin7 I relate to that dude. Firstly, that's why i set the timer, I think its probs does some help to just have awareness of it even if it doesn't obviously have an effect. Secondly, that's why i also currently choose to do things that trigger me, mostly via music or youtube vids atm, or external world, i.e. doing something slightly out of the norm and then sitting with the emotions.

It seems to me you were getting triggered by people shaming you for advocating that Nick Fuentes guy, so perhaps go watch vids of people shaming the fuck out of him. Someone like Hasanabi might be a useful one. and have awareness on the emotions that come up, if they do, for a while.

Yeah that's a great point. To seek out stuff that triggers you and then use that technique, I never thought about that.

And yeah you're right, I think the fear of being shamed and being shamed take up a huge part of my emotional bandwidth so those are hot button issues.

I think this retreat will bring up a bunch of uncomfortable emotions it's pretty far out of my comfort zone so i'll try to keep in mind the principle of being aware of the emotions without judgment or the urge to get rid of them

 

[Ulax]

@Raptorsin7 I like it dude! I'd say the same with me re being shamed.

Rn, i'm watching the emotions that come up when I watch this vid.

I'd say i usually would be pretty triggered by the thought that someone would say that im like either of these two. However, I just sat with my emotions and did the whole letting go technqiue on them, and now I'd say I'm a lot more comfortable with the idea of it, like it doesn't seem to me like it would be as big a deal.

[Raptorsin7]

10 hours ago, Ulax said:

@Raptorsin7 I like it dude! I'd say the same with me re being shamed.

Rn, i'm watching the emotions that come up when I watch this vid.

I'd say i usually would be pretty triggered by the thought that someone would say that im like either of these two. However, I just sat with my emotions and did the whole letting go technqiue on them, and now I'd say I'm a lot more comfortable with the idea of it, like it doesn't seem to me like it would be as big a deal.

Lol that video is hilarious.

I have a lot of trauma around sexuality and human connection so that's the stuff that will trigger me most. On this retreat facebook page there's a lot of talk about sexual desire and part of me wonders if i'm wandering into some kinda yeshua sex cult lol. But funny enough it's exactly what I need, to heal my relationship with sexuality. 

How are things going with you

[Ulax]

4 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Lol that video is hilarious.

I have a lot of trauma around sexuality and human connection so that's the stuff that will trigger me most. On this retreat facebook page there's a lot of talk about sexual desire and part of me wonders if i'm wandering into some kinda yeshua sex cult lol. But funny enough it's exactly what I need, to heal my relationship with sexuality. 

How are things going with you

@Raptorsin7 I'd say things have taken a positive turn in various aspects for me recently. Particularly around the idea of letting go that I mentioned before. I'm kind of interested in exploring lots of different perspectives atm and seeing how I emotionally react to them, and what happens if i sit with them.

And haha a sex cult would be interesting! Reminds me of a Neil Strauss story i heard once about a sexual healing community. And ye i think i could do with facing my emotions surrounding sexuality, I've been doing that a bit recently too, I'm quite into the idea of becoming sensual.

[Raptorsin7]

@Ulax Nice sounds good