So.... I Achieved Insanity

[Tyler Robinson]

@Gesundheit2

Exactly. 

Insanity can be an episode that mentally ill people go through. 

A person who is not mentally ill cannot be experiencing insanity. 

And I'm severely mentally ill. 

 

I went through temporary insanity but it lasted for 3 weeks. 

I was sleepwalking all the time 

I needed drugs to snap out of it 

Also insanity is visible through insane weird actions. And during those weeks everyone told me I was acting weird. 

I became temporarily insane but it lasted a long time. 

 

Edited October 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Leo Gura]

Grasping Infinity and insanity are very different things.

[Gesundheit2]

@Tyler Robinson The only thing that is insane about Leo is his vocabulary. It's always been so.

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, Gesundheit2 said:

@Tyler Robinson The only thing that is insane about Leo is his vocabulary. It's always been so.

Omg.  I'm rolling on the floor. This was the best comment on the thread. 

 

[StarStruck]

Everybody is talking about insanity but we can't even agree on a definition.

[Leo Gura]

1 minute ago, StarStruck said:

Everybody is talking about insanity but we can't even agree on a definition.

You can't have a definition for something you haven't experienced.

But you can ask your mind to show you insanity and see what it comes up with.

[newbee]

33 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Now that's an epic Awakening!

Don't know why you're laughing, but to me this was traumatizing.

When I came back to my senses, I couldn't stop thinking 'I need love. I need compassion'.

To me the experience was like it started off with a tsunami in my head, literally my mind blown away (not in a good way) and I did not know what was going on and it went along with a tendency of collapsing (I guess that was the ego dissolving) into more and more ugliness that's never-ending.

It felt like I was no longer human but I was a mind that went beserk for eternity and it went along with extreme, chronic annoyance.  I had no awareness of my physical surroundings and could have severely wounded myself (physically) but I was wide awake in my inner experience.

I thought 'fuck, I made the dumbest mistake of my life. I put this tiny amount of  white powder up my ass and now I'm screwed for eternity. I could have never even imagined such a thing could be possible.'  

In hindsight, I realize my set and setting wasn't good enough, despite having done affirmations and what not to have a good experience, i was slightly feeling uncomfortable and slightly annoyed that my neighbours had visitation and I'd rather them be gone in case I might make some noise. Well, I probably made a whole lot of noise as this slight feeling of annoyance was completely blown out of proportion that went along with the collapsing sensation and what I would call eternal madness / unimaginable horror.   I probably screamed like crazy the whole hour long and had bruises and I believe even a slight concussion from physically falling on the floor and bouncing my body and head  (I was no longer on my bed when I came back to this reality).

I know, you're supposed to surrender, but that's a lot more easily said than done. I felt surrendered to hell. It's like saying to someone who's being cut up with a chainsaw 'just surrender'. Technically, that would also bring them into heaven I suppose, but who can do that in such a situation when it feels all so real.  I don't know anybody who could, so to me this is a bit useless advice.  I guess if you're set and setting isn't pristine, you may be in for a hell of a ride, literally.

It also makes me understand that anybody can experience madness or insanity really.  It's God experiencing itself as the opposite of God.  I googled it afterwards to see if some people are born like that, but unless I didn't google enough, no-one is born like that. It's either from drugs or severe (emotional/sexual) abuse I think. 

Edited October 21, 2022 by newbee

[Tyler Robinson]

 

Just now, Leo Gura said:

You can't have a definition for something you haven't experienced.

But you can ask your mind to show you insanity and see what it comes up with.

So what was your insight during that 1 hour? 

What can you tell me that will blow my mind away? 

 

[StarStruck]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You can't have a definition for something you haven't experienced.

But you can ask your mind to show you insanity and see what it comes up with.

is it hell?

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

is it hell?

No, not at all. Hell is something totally different.

I think for most people it would be worse than hell. Hell is kinda normal by comparison -- it's just demons and shit.

Edited October 21, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Kuba Powiertowski]

@Leo Gura all of four great scientists (and also mystics to some extent) like Cantor, Riemann, Turing and Godel (I would add Nash as well) went totally insane trying understand what infinity / infinities is / are. Although, thank to their discoveries and legacy we live in the world we have today.

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, newbee said:

Don't know why you're laughing, but to me this was traumatizing.

Of course it's traumatizing.

But if you reach that level of tripping balls, the only thing left to do is laugh.

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, Kuba Powiertowski said:

@Leo Gura all of four great scientists (and also mystics to some extent) like Cantor, Riemann, Turing and Godel (I would add Nash as well) went totally insane trying understand what infinity / infinities is / are. Although, thank to their discoveries and legacy we live in the world we have today.

It's funny because I specifically explored what it might mean for these guys to have lost their minds. What that might feel like. Well, I can say I got a good taste of it. Although I don't know the specifics of their mental disorders.

Edited October 21, 2022 by Leo Gura

[StarStruck]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

No, not at all. Hell is something totally different.

I think for most people it would be worse than hell. Hell is kinda normal by comparison -- it's just demons and shit.

There is not one hell anyway, there are layers to it, and with each layer it get worse

[newbee]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course it's traumatizing.

But if you reach that level of tripping balls, the only thing left to do is laugh.

I guess it's better than crying (for too long) as that makes me then worry that my worries are going to manifest eternal hell for myself in the afterlife. 

[Leo Gura]

1 minute ago, StarStruck said:

There is not one hell anyway, there are layers to it, and with each layer it get worse

Sure

But it's not really insanity.

[Someone here]

@Leo Gura can you describe this experience visually?  Like what did you particularly see ? Because I can't make sense of pure insanity without imagining my visul field melting away into some salvia fluid trip.

[docs20]

A huge video is needed on Insanity and Mental Illness in general

[OBEler]

@Leo Gura omg you never watched Joker (2019)? ?it was the best movie of the year. For me one of the best movies of all time. 

Yoker is the incarnation of insanity. I can highly recommend it

 

[newbee]

5 minutes ago, Kuba Powiertowski said:

@Leo Gura all of four great scientists (and also mystics to some extent) like Cantor, Riemann, Turing and Godel (I would add Nash as well) went totally insane trying understand what infinity / infinities is / are. Although, thank to their discoveries and legacy we live in the world we have today.

Wasn't that because their colleagues didn't agree with their theories and their ridicule and overall emotional abuse made them go insane?