Do you love yourself?

[Ethan1]

Simply asking questions and looking for more questions. Not looking for an answer necessarily.
Some questions are pretty much the same question so they could be emitted.
5W1H

Do you truly love you?... 

 

Do you believe in yourself?

Do you really care about yourself?

Do you love yourself? 
 

 

If yes, then how so? 

How have you loved yourself? In what all ways?

How do you feel when you give yourself love?

What did your family teach you about self-love?

What did your peers teach you about self-love?

What did your lovers teach you about self-love?

How do you know when you feel love for yourself?

How do you show love for yourself?

How often do you love yourself?

What do you love about yourself?

What is the most self-loving thing you have done for yourself? 

 

If no, then why not?

Why would you not love yourself?

How have you not loved yourself?

Is self-love (not) important to you?

Is self-love selfish?

How can you love or accept the things you can't change about yourself?

What is something you can do right now to love yourself?

What is the hardest thing about loving yourself? 

What does self-love mean to you?

Can you feel love for yourself? How can you? If not, why not?

How can you love yourself going forward?

What ways can you love yourself more? 

What are loving things you want from others that you can do yourself?

Have you forgiven yourself for this lack of love?

Where did you learn to not love yourself? 
Where do you feel the most self-love?

What can you love more about yourself?

What is the most self-hating thing you consistently do? WHY?

Other questions...

At what point does self-love become self-obsession? 
How much self-love is possible?
What's the difference between self-love and narcissism?

What is not self-love that is misunderstood as self-love?

How does your self-love or self-hate impact your interaction with others?

How does your self-love impact your ability to love others?

How does self-love affect relationships?

Do you love your self more than others? Where's the balance?

What's the difference between self-love and self-hate?

How can we create a world where people have self-love?

What are signs of healthy self-love in others?

What is the most self-love you have ever felt? When & how?

Why does society not care about teaching self-love?

What is the most self loving thing?

What systems could be created to help people learn to self-love?

Where could we teach self-love?

What are signs of unhealthy self-love in others?

Does knowing thyself start with loving thyself? 



Words 

• Philautia

 

 

Edited October 21, 2022 by Ethan1

[Roy]

I've never really loved myself. In fact I've hated myself for as long as I can remember, it's taken me 29 years to learn that path is simply untenable though. So now I've got to go in the opposite direction of learning to love myself, since there is really no other choice.

I'll save this page as a resource for myself on this journey, thank you @Ethan1.

[Ethan1]

I feel ya man. I've been in the same boat and I'm 29 too. Self-avoidance is such an easy thing to do because most people in society aren't taught this stuff. I mean, it's a heavy question to go to anyone and ask. Most people feel a huge sense of vulnerability admitting something like this. Which I respect that you said that.

Thank you.  

Edited October 21, 2022 by Ethan1

[Leo Gura]

Yes.

Because, I is Love.

Edited October 21, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Tyler Robinson]

I always needed someone to love me because I couldn't love myself. I never believed in self love because it appeared selfish to me. 

 

The real question is — how do you love yourself when you feel underappreciated in a community? 

 

Edited October 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, Lila9 said:

That is the million-dollar question lol I was contemplating it a lot through my life.

This is the catch, might be one of the main reasons people struggle to love themselves in the first place, because they don't feel loved by their environment, society (that isn't known for its loving nature), by other people who probably don't love themselves either (or maybe they love themselves narcissistically but it's not a real self-love, only a facade). We tend to believe that we are what we believe people think we are, how they treat us, the way they talk to us, talk about us etc

Often, we fail to understand that the way people see us and treat us or how we think people see us or treat us has nothing to do with our true value. 

We as humans, as a tribal species, have social norms that we have to follow, otherwise we might pay a price if we don't. We often take the opinions of others very seriously, so seriously that many times they become our opinions about ourselves. It's good to have inner critic but many times it's just too much, it becomes hatred with no place for self-love, encouraged by society and other people with the same mentality of lack in self-love.

It's very easy to forget that we used to love ourselves as children, we are all, with no exceptions. We were born loving ourselves purely and through our life, we learned to be ashamed of it, we learned to betray ourselves as soon as someone has a negative opinion about us. 

The solution is to learn to love ourselves, again, as it should be, despite all the background 'noises', which isn't easy and requires work and awarness but it's completely possible. 

 

Yes and no. It depends, my love for myself is pretty conditional, but I'm working on it.

 

 

 

 

I'm in tears after reading your post. Nobody likes me on this forum. Everyone thinks I'm a drama queen, attention seeker, low IQ or annoying or disgusting. Nobody really cares to see if I have any intrinsic value. Thank you for understanding me. Thank for telling me that how others treat me in this community has nothing to do with my true value. My true value is way above the treatment I get here. I'm feeling much better after reading your post. I wish everyone had the level of empathy you show. I wouldn't need to throw a fit like a wounded child and then be blamed for it. You made my day. I needed to hear those words but my gut wasn't guiding me. But my subconscious found a way to speak to me through you. God bless you for showing me kindness. Have a good day and thank you a million times. Finally someone understands how to speak to me. Thanks. 

 

 

[Ethan1]

@Tyler Robinson You're not alone.

You are worthy of love. 

I'd be curious to hear your perspective on some of the questions above to dig deeper. 
Also, thank you for bringing up a good question about external environment setting the stage. 

 

Edited October 21, 2022 by Ethan1

[Bojan V]

@Tyler Robinson You've said nobody likes you on this forum. That's not true. I like you.

[Tyler Robinson]

@Bojan V

[Thought Art]

@Tyler RobinsonI like you ahaha 

Just because I’ve argued with you doesn’t mean I don’t like you. People are complex 

Edited October 21, 2022 by Thought Art

[Consept]

Great questions, this is something i always struggled with, however i feel like i have turned a corner with it after therapy and just generally working on myself. 

I think a key thing for me was accepting myself when i wasnt exactly who i wanted to be in the moment. I would struggle with anxiety and hate myself for feeling this and try and think my way out of the feeling, at some point i realised that it is a feeling and that side of me can be loved as well. There was also a lot about loving my inner child and giving him what he didnt get as a child, almost self parenting. How it shows up is just doing things for myself, making sure im healthy, doing things i genuinely enjoy, spending time with people who want to spend time with me and i want to spend time with them etc. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

14 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@Tyler RobinsonI like you ahaha 

Just because I’ve argued with you doesn’t mean I don’t like you. People are complex 

Why do you like me? 

 

[JuliusCaesar]

@Ethan1 Yes.

[eos_nyxia]

11 hours ago, Lila9 said:

It's very easy to forget that we used to love ourselves as children, we are all, with no exceptions. We were born loving ourselves purely and through our life, we learned to be ashamed of it, we learned to betray ourselves as soon as someone has a negative opinion about us. 

 

The solution is to learn to love ourselves, again, as it should be, despite all the background 'noises', which isn't easy and requires work and awarness but it's completely possible.

 

This is very unfortunately not true for everyone. I remember when I thought this was true as well.

My partner, for instance, has said that he cannot remember a time as a child when he did not feel like he hated himself, on some deep level.

And I used to be like... are you sure that there wasn't there something that came before, that you can remember? (Where did this feeling come from?)

 

From this perspective, at times, it seems to me that this would feel like a thing without a beginning or end, or any limits whatsoever. Sometimes I feel very strongly for people who do not have a sense of this sense of "something to return to" that is clear and concrete... because what are they supposed to do if they don't have a memory/ sense of something better? From where they stand, surely this idea of this mythical power of "Self Love" is as much a fabrication as the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus. Sure, people say it exists.. but does it really? They rely on someone/ something to strike them in this world (or alternatively: some sense of a supernatural force as being outside/ distinct from oneself, while often simultaneously feeling like a part of them as well).

(Actually, now that I think about it, my brother very much had a sense of "being in the dark" growing up, especially in early childhood. He has even taken to describing himself as "being offline" before the last couple of years.)

Unfortunately for those of us who are into PV, finding yourself in the position of "not loving yourself" becomes yet another thing to judge yourself for not having, and to whip yourself over repeatedly. Or to judge others, whether more or less subtly, with a sort of veiled benevolence. And sometimes being goaded helps, but only very temporarily at best. It is not a viable long-term solution.

Ultimately.... it's no one's fault, it helps no one make the best of it all, and we all are wherever it is that we are in any given moment.

Edited October 22, 2022 by eos_nyxia