"intimacy"

[Something Funny]

@Judy2 sure, I didn't mean to push you, sorry. Just was curious about how it works.

1 minute ago, Judy2 said:

you're scared of Love, too:)

Maybe I am:)

[Judy2]

Just now, Lila9 said:

I'm so glad that you were able to see and acknowledge that. That's the path to self love

thank you:)

i saw your post the other day where you suggested we can take a little note book and design it in a way that represents ourselves and serves as a positive reminder. i thought it was a lovely idea.

1 minute ago, Something Funny said:

@Judy2 sure, I didn't mean to push you, sorry. Just was curious about how it works.

i know:)

 

i hope you two have a great day!

[Something Funny]

@Judy2 thank you, I am actually having a great day.

I hope you will have one too:)

[Judy2]

 

[Judy2]

i said that i'd mostly keep my gratitude practice to myself, but right now i feel inspired to leave this here.

 

i love my friends. i love how genuinely caring they are and that i also get to see how i genuinely care about them♡  sometimes they require me to put my personal troubles aside just so that i can be there to see and love them. and i guess in a way it surprises me that i am even capable of this.

* - M was so kind as to pick up two books from the library for me (that i had to hide in there earlier today cause the nice lady at the reception wouldn't let me borrow them again right after returning them lol.) and i really do appreciate the favour. -

 

i love how every time i see a child or a toddler, i smile, softly.

 

also, i'm very grateful that in the past few days my body and self image has (occasionally) been more positive. there are a number of factors contributing to this, one of which is probably the simple fact that i switched my huge winter coat for a lighter jacket, such that my whole look feels more defined again. 

 

i love my hair. the 2 plaits are back and they feel very cute to me. feels like a right and cute 'me' that i can be, effortlessly so. and i also love wearing my hair down.

[Judy2]

..... i feel a little helpless because even though i was so lucky as to get my books back, my keyboard isn't working now (again).

i have no idea how to fix this and the deadline is on friday.

so right now i know i should be productive, but i can't do anything other than to pray for a miracle. i guess.

and ask people for help. but i owe everyone a lot at this point and it makes me uncomfortable.

[Something Funny]

@Judy2 you could go and buy some cheap keyboard at mediamarkt or some other place like this for 20 bucks.

[Something Funny]

They actually start from 8 euros:

https://www.mediamarkt.de/de/category/tastaturen-375.html?sort=currentprice%2Basc

 

[Judy2]

@Something Funny  my tablet doesn't have a usb port...

[Something Funny]

@Judy2 oh, I thought you had a laptop.

Then what kind of keyboard do you have? And is it an ipad, android, or windows tablet?

You still have 2 options. You could buy a usb to micro usb / usb c connector. They also shouldn't be that expensive or buy a Bluetooth keyboard.

 

[Judy2]

@Something Funny it's a microsoft tablet and the keyboard can be attached to it at the bottom. 

 i'll see if a friend can come over and fix it for me... 

[Something Funny]

@Judy2 that's great because if it's runnind windows then any random keyboard would be compatible with it. So in the worst case scenario you can just go and buy a cheap Bluetooth keyboard.

https://www.mediamarkt.de/de/category/tastaturen-375.html?sort=currentprice%2Basc&filter=specialty%3ABluetooth

If you are unsure, you can just grab your tablet, go to a store and say that you need a cheap Bluetooth keyboard that will work with it. They could probably even help you to connect it right there.

[Judy2]

@Something Funny yeah, thanks. i'll figure it out somehow.

it's just annoying when things aren't working the way they're supposed to work. i always have bad luck with my tablets and printers and everything.

Edited March 21, 2023 by Judy2

[Something Funny]

@Judy2 printers suck, nobody has good luck with printers, haha.

 

[Judy2]

 

[Judy2]

it's horrible when i start talking now, or when i start sobbing. i used to like the idea, but now i hate it.

it feels like i'm just gonna ruin it all with all the ugliness i have inside of me.

 

"keep your loving arms and words off of me

i don't want them."

[Judy2]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CYl1YBSAdxP/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

 

[Judy2]

sometimes it's only when i'm calm 

that i start to realise how exhausted and tired i am

and then i don't know where it's coming from, but i can't help thinking

wouldn't it be best if i left? wouldn't that be beautiful? 

maybe someone would cry for me.

and that's selfish, but i still get this thought from time to time.

 i just thought i'd express this somehow.

 

god i'm such a mess.

Edited March 26, 2023 by Judy2

[Judy2]

i think it's not okay when men on here call women sluts and mean it.

but maybe i only say that it's not okay because i fail to empathise with the male perspective, or whatever.

i get that you like your girls virtuous and "pure", but perhaps we could empathise with the reasons for why some women end up behaving the way they behave before declaring them to be lost causes or universally unlovable.

i had a similar feeling when i saw Leo repeatedly use the expression "shame on..." in his recent posts.

 

maybe if i was more loving and conscious, i wouldn't even feel the need to point this out.

however where i'm at i feel that my frustration should be expressed somehow. it is a valid reaction and i am sharing it from a place of positive vulnerability. i am not demanding change or anything of that sort, but am merely acknowledging "what is". 

but then i can't deny that it's also valid to think and feel that some women are sluts, i guess. it isn't that different from me being unable to stop calling myself ugly and evil.

so the point is, it's all okay, it's okay that everybody's at where they're at, and right now i feel frustration? 

Edited March 28, 2023 by Judy2

[Judy2]