does splitting the bill turn off females?

[Antor8188]

@Leo Gura I go on dates with girls but I split the bill because I can’t afford to pay the entire bill will she get turned off by me for doing that?

[something_else]

Referring to women as 'females' turns them off, that's for sure 

Maybe don't talk about how it's because you can't afford it. But most women in my experience want to split the bill, or aren't happy about me paying for everything.

[Yarco]

Depends on the woman. I'd say it's not the splitting the bill that would be the big turnoff, but the fact you're unable to properly provide for her, even if you wanted to. If you can't afford a couple of appetizers, how are you going to pay for a decent place to live together, or more important stuff later on in the relationship?

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Yarco said:

Depends on the woman. I'd say it's not the splitting the bill that would be the big turnoff, but the fact you're unable to properly provide for her, even if you wanted to. If you can't afford a couple of appetizers, how are you going to pay for a decent place to live together, or more important stuff later on in the relationship?

Dude you're killing it. I just love your takes. 

 

[Federico del pueblo]

@Antor8188 Your question should be "do I get turned off by her if she expects me to pay the entire bill?".

Do you see why?

[Ulax]

7 hours ago, something_else said:

Referring to women as 'females' turns them off, that's for sure 

@something_else I understand but I don't think that is necessarily true.

[Ulax]

8 hours ago, Antor8188 said:

@Leo Gura I go on dates with girls but I split the bill because I can’t afford to pay the entire bill will she get turned off by me for doing that?

@Antor8188 Hi dude.

I think for some girls in some situation yes and for some girls in other situations no. And with those situations where a girl does get turned off it might only be a bit of a loss of sexual desire for one girl, whilst being a large loss of sexual desire for another girl. 

I think she will more be unconsciously picking up on where your decision to not pay the bill is coming from in that moment. For example, I imagine there would be a different sub-communication if you thought that splitting the bill was a reasonable request to make, compared to if you thought splitting the bill was an embarrassing thing to do and you associated it with shame. 

My understanding is that that sub-communication may be a relevant factor that determines how much sexual desire she feels for you.

[something_else]

5 minutes ago, Ulax said:

@something_else I understand but I don't think that is necessarily true.

There are contexts where it's alright, but this isn't really one of them. Most of the time it just sounds too formal, impersonal and objectifying. When used in day-to-day life it has this connotation of women being foreign and alien, at least in Western countries.

[Ulax]

15 minutes ago, something_else said:

There are contexts where it's alright, but this isn't really one of them. Most of the time it just sounds too formal, impersonal and objectifying. When used in day-to-day life it has this connotation of women being foreign and alien, at least in Western countries.

@something_else I think I understand what you are claiming. I think I've seen examples where I've had a slightly shocked reaction to the way that someone has used the term 'females'. I had the sense that the speaker viewed women as objects when he said that. I get the sense that this is a similar response you have to OP's use of the word in this thread, and also the use of the word 'female' more generally. Would you say my assumption is true to your experience?

I would say I have a somewhat different perspective to you. When you say "Most of the time it just sounds too formal, impersonal and objectifying" it seems to me that you are intending to state that it is a fact that using the word 'females'  usually sounds too formal, impersonal and objectifying. I don't think it is a fact. I think its likely that it is moreso that the use of the term 'female' sounds too formal, impersonal and objectifying to you. And that you are confident in that belief. Hence, I am guessing that you believe that it is a fact that the term 'female' sounds too formal, impersonal and objectifying. Do you believe you understand the point I'm intending for you to consider?

I think its important to consider, what I see to be, the perspective you appear to me to be showing. And I also think that it is important to recognise that, if you accept my view that it is a personal belief, your view is a personal belief rather than an objective fact. Otherwise, I think, at least, we avoid jumping to conclusions about what the intentions of another person are. If we then get OP's personal perspective, in addition to yours, then I think we can have a more constructive and higher consciousness dialogue.

I would be curious to hear your thoughts regarding what I've said here.

[something_else]

@Ulax If you go about calling girls females they will look at you like a creep and make a lot of assumptions about you that aren’t beneficial to you. It isn’t just my experience. You’re welcome to go and test that out for yourself

A lot of incels exclusively refer to women as females and femoids and the like which has helped it develop a reputation as a somewhat red-flag speech pattern

Edited October 20, 2022 by something_else

[Ulax]

1 minute ago, something_else said:

@Ulax If you go about calling girls females they will look at you like a creep and make a lot of assumptions about you that aren’t beneficial to you. It isn’t just my experience. You’re welcome to go and test that out for yourself

A lot of incels exclusively refer to women as females and femoids and the like which has helped it develop a reputation as a somewhat red-flag speech pattern

@something_else I don't think what you are saying is totally true.

I think it would depend on the context, i.e. who the girl is,  the circumstance she is in, the way the speaker says it, the speaker's appearance etc. I think numerous women could react with curiosity. I don't doubt many could react with hostility and suspicion. However, I think there would be many, many potential different responses from women who are referred to as female.

[something_else]

It depends on context, yea. But in any casual or day-to-day context it’s essentially a dead word. Especially if you’re under like 30. It’s the equivalent of using gay to mean happy in the 21st century. It just sounds out of place in most contexts and people will look at you funny

In more formal contexts or scientific context it’s obviously fine

[cjoseph90]

yes definetly depends on the girl, i mean honestly maybe first date is nice and you´re into her, i dont expect it going forward, if he insists to pay then maybe ill let him. But i wouldnt feel right him paying for all the bills, if im working but thats just me.

[LSD-Rumi]

12 hours ago, Antor8188 said:

@Leo Gura I go on dates with girls but I split the bill because I can’t afford to pay the entire bill will she get turned off by me for doing that?

No, just be cool about it. Just a quick " share the bill?" will be enough.

[Tyler Robinson]

Depends on the girl. 

Organic woman = turned off. 

Feminist woman = turned on. 

 

 

[Danioover9000]

@Antor8188

12 hours ago, Antor8188 said:

@Leo Gura I go on dates with girls but I split the bill because I can’t afford to pay the entire bill will she get turned off by me for doing that?

   First, I'd grab a couple of dates that I ate and tasted kind of okay in rehab. Then we'd head to the mall, shops and hip hop around like bunnies all the ball and doll shops just me leading dates around till they ripe and dry from all the sunny D light of my insistence on touring store houses. At last, finally at Hollow Knight's restaurant, where ants work hard, rats grow fat, bulls and tauruses concoct cock and bull stories, while cats and dogs forgot GOD and watching IGODMIND videos, while bats go crazy resting, and turtles turn purple from waiting for their food. Good God, all this whimsy leaving me tipsy Topsy Turvey, must be all the BBQ Korean beef fish chicken Porks and shrimps, or the 200 dollars on that bill. To date, I have left the best version of myself to my wonderful date my white crane style Kungfu: with my dining fashion and dashing looks as I never looked back sprinting fast forward into the unknown...and teared the bill in half and paid the half.

Edited October 20, 2022 by Danioover9000

[Leo Gura]

Depends on the girl and what other value you bring to the table.

If you are high value guy she won't even mind paying for your dinner.

Edited October 20, 2022 by Leo Gura

[thisintegrated]

In the US, yes.  They have a pretty disgusting social culture there tbh, comparable to any Muslim country.  You're expected to non-verbally communicate you're capable of being provider, be it with your car, generosity, house, etc.

In Europe, no, of course not.

And in general, whoever invites pays the first time, and from then on most arrangements should be mutual and split equally.

[Stovo]

16 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If you are high value guy she won't even mind paying for your dinner.

I always get this with Chinese girls.

I can attract 8s and 9s, they will cook for me, buy me gifts, and pay for meals.

I must fit what is perceived as high value by Chinese women, that women of other cultures do not see. Worth noting that these Chinese girls tend to be wealthy, career-focused, and educated. 

[Stovo]

7 minutes ago, thisintegrated said:

In the US, yes.  They have a pretty disgusting social culture there tbh, comparable to any Muslim country.  You're expected to non-verbally communicate you're capable of being provider, be it with your car, generosity, house, etc.

Hmm, I wouldn't agree. I dated a girl from Connecticut once, a very liberal girl, and she was the exact opposite of what you describe here. 

Edit: I'm British

Edited October 21, 2022 by Stovo