From Half-assed Medical Student To Worldclass Cardiologist

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• It was a great day at work!! And my love for Cardiolgy just keeps growing!! 
• I'm becoming more and more professional.. My "natural" inclination would be to be very frivolous and flirty but being able to be taken seriously is way more fulfilling!! After all professionalism is third in the list of my top 10 values in order of importance and beauty is tenth. It's amazing seeing how all these things apparently totally abstract and far from reality actually apply to everyday life!!
• I was exposed to yet another proof of how lucky I am and always have been.. Not watching the news is good but sometimes being conscious of what's happening out there is useful too.. The good thing is that while in the past noticing how lucky I was without having done anything to deserve it made me feel overwhelmed and in need to "deserve it a posteriori", now I simply acknowledge that the only thing I can do is give my best in anything I do..
• I tried to do a walking meditation while coming back home from the university's cafeteria this evening.. It's not easy at all!! But it's fun too..  I'll try to do it every time I can!! 

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Waking up earlier.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying, and working!!

What I learned:

• Not to take anything for granted..

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I ran 10 km, again!! For the first time ever I think at the end of my run my legs were shaking a little bit!!  I can't wait for the day I'll be running every day!! For now I'll be happy with running just once every three days.. Am I serving two masters? I run less than I would like to so that I don't feel too guilty toward the goal of becoming a world-class Cardiologist.. It all comes back to the question "how should I live my life?". I guess I can be both a runner and a world-class Cardiologist, I just have to find a good balance between the two..
• I was a good Sunday!! I love being around people but fortunately I've now learnt to appreciate and make time for my own company too.. 
• I'm learning to follow my intuition.. And to be more conscious.. I've been thinking and thinking about whether or not to go to the Christmas dinner they're organizing at work.. Finally I realized how stupid it was to invest so much emotional energy in a decision like that.. #firstworldproblems... 

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Oddly enough, I can't think of anything..

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying. And drinking coffee quite strategically.

What I learned:

• The importance of taking the time to take notes about relevant matters.. While still debating about the dinner I decided to leaf through my personal growth notebook and ran into the notes I took on the video "Lifestyle minimalism". The first phrase I wrote is "Commit to NOT having a life, this is what self-actualization actually is!".. And the last one is "You also need to let go of your carnal cravings (food, sex, drugs, fun, entertainment and stimulation of every sort)".. It reminds me of the time I went to the consecration of two nuns and the shock I felt when I heard them voluntarily making a vow of poverty, chastity and obedience.. And here I am now in a convent and not going to Christmas parties...  Bye bye people pleasing, bye bye confirmism!! 

Edited December 19, 2016 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• My first paycheck!!! 
• I had a nice chat with my mum at the phone this evening!!
• I'm happy of finally being totally l myself, staying alone this weekend really recharged me!! 

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Studying.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Not spending all of my money right away.. I really hope I'll be able to spend it wisely, I've been so careless in the past.. I've already done the Money Psychology worksheet, now it's "just" a matter of putting into action what I wrote..

What I learned:

• Not to be afraid/ashamed of being myself and following my intuition.

[Diane]

Merry Christmas!!! 

Amazing things that happened this week:

• I spent a wonderful Christmas with wonderful people!! 
• It's been a very good week!! I'm happy about it even if didn't do any of my routines, not a single one.. Which is strange, normally I would feel at least a minimum of guilt.. Now I just rest in the certainty that it's not forever, I'll soon be back to "normality".
• I bought Leo's booklist and subscribed to audible!!!  You can save some passages and also add notes on audible, amazing!!! 
• I spent a wonderful night out on Thursday!!  
• I bought a wonderful journal to use as 2017's gratitude journal!! Unfortunately I don't have it with me, I'll post a photo when I'm back home. I found out that there are other people from Burundi in Sardinia, I'm staying with them for Christmas.. The diaspora of Burundians really has no borders, it always astonishes me seeing people who were born in one place and always lived and worked there.. 
• I bought a wonderful pair of slippers!! 

Aren't they the cutest thing ever?!?! I really can understand now what Mari Kondo was referring to when saying to only keep things that sparkle joy!! 

• Everything is wonderful lately, I can't even found an adequate synonymous...

Ways I could have made this week even better:

• Studying, working out and running, even if I'm totally ok with the fact that I didn't do any of them..

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Let's draw a quiet veil over that, shall we? 

What I learned:

• The more you know the less you carry. - Mors Kochanski -

As always I didn't trust myself enough to do a complete list of what to bring for a trip without googling it... This time it was a good thing though as I found this amazing quote, it couldn't be truer!! Not only referring to a baggage, I see it applying also to my work for example, we junior doctors always have kilos of notes in our gowns while the more experienced ones barely have a pen with them.. Or to life, the more I go on and the less I'm bothered by what happens to me.. 

 

And that's it for this week.. Google calendar reminded me that I had planned to do today 2016's year review.. I'll do it here and also copy last year's one for comparison (and also so that I can delete it from Evernote, hoping that this forum lasts forever, or at least as long as I'm alive.. ). It was inspired from an Alex Ikonn's video, unfortunately I can't find it right now.. He and his wife Mimi really changed my life!!! 

 

REVIEW OF 2015

CELEBRATE

I'm alive, I made it trough this year!!!

Wins I need to celebrate of this past year:

• Having gone to a psychologist
• Passing Internal Medicine
• My graduation!!
• Having started to run again
• Starting a personal development journey
• Putting myself on the line (with the internship in Cardiology, the Mariapoli -a pseudoreligious event I went to-, and the marriage in Belgium..)
• Lightening myself from the burden of having to please my father. (Now I would extend it to everybody...)

What was I doing when I achieved my best results from last year:

• I was following plan A, I had a justdoit mentality
• I was very focused on my goal
• I was happy to do what I as doing
• I was at ease
• I was smiling!!
• I was conscious of my posture.

One life lesson I learned from last year:

• Being different is a richness, not a flaw!!

One big goal for this year:

• To move out on my own.

What I need to do in the next 3 months to achieve my goals:

• Find a job
• Saving up the money
• Rent an apartment

 

REVIEW OF 2016

CELEBRATE

It was one of the best years of my life, if not the best one altogether!! Until now... 

Wins I need to celebrate:

• I achieved my year's goal without specifically focusing on it, I had completely forgotten about having written it.. I actually exceeded it: I work and earn a living and have to look after myself for almost everything.. And I have a pretty comfortable life..
• My English has definitely improved!!!
• I'm single!! And happy about that... Yeah, there are many things I miss of having a man in my life but the freedom I have now is matchless!!!
• I'm a totally different person from the one I was at the beginning of the year, I learned to trust myself and my intuition and to stand up for myself and be more assertive. I'm also much more kind and loving to myself.
• I did the life purpose course and all of the exercises in it!! Not that it's something one actually finishes doing, but I finished all the short term to-dos in it..
• I passed the bar exam and now I'm officially a doctor!!!
• I upgraded my runs to 10km each!!
• I cut my hair and went natural again, this time not for aesthetic or health concerns but for the practical reason of being able to wash my hair every day as I planned to workout every day!!

What I was doing when I achieved my best results from last year:

• Following plan A and being focused on my goals, it worked also in 2016... 
• Being myself 100%!!

One life lesson I learned from this year:

• Always follow your intuition, even if it seems illogical and quite absurd.

One big goal for this year:

• Switzerland!!!!!!

What I need to do in the next 3 months to achieve my goals:

• Applying for a place as a resident there and going to some interviews;
• Improving my French (reading and listening to book in French and speaking French every time I can);
• Studying studying studying!!!!

 

Edited December 26, 2016 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened in the last few days:

• I'm surrounded by wonderful music, every time I turn on the radio there's something I love.. 
• I started feeling the dorm I'm staying at as home...  It's very true that sometimes you start appreciating things only after losing them, even just for a while in my case.
• Then I wrote "wonderful love" on Evernote.. I think I wrote it yesterday but I don't remember what I was referring to.. Anyway I do love my job!! And it's a wonderful love!!! 
• This is my gratitude journal for 2017:

I chose it for the idea of being on a journey, as I am and as I will particularly be in 2017 with the project of moving to Switzerland. Then I also noticed the interesting progression of colours: from cold to warmer colors.. We're also going from cold to warmer weather, it's going to be an amazing summer here in Sardinia, I can't wait!!! 

Ways I could have made the last few days even better:

• Studying.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Surprising myself while analyzing an EKG at work today, apparently I actually learned something reading and re-reading the same things over and over..

What I learned:

• The importance making efforts..

Edited December 28, 2016 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I made it through the day at work even if there was no one of the seniors I normally work with.. I love being in a leadership position!!! 
• Fortunately, despite my renewed cockiness (yeah, even if Leo said that from being a people pleaser you can't completely reach the other side of the pendulum, sometimes I definitely do.. I'm so full of myself, just see the number of times I use the word I... ), I am still able to see how much I still need to grow and learn. Consciousness is key right? Talking of which, it's already two weeks that I'm off track with my routines.. Yesterday and today I meditated though.. I have accumulated so much things to study that I don't know where to begin so I simply backed down with everything.. 

Way I could have made today even better:

• Studying, working out, doing my routines...

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Being a little bit of a leader at work.

What I learned:

• There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now. I might as well take a nap. - Carrie Fisher -

[Diane]

Balance

So basically I was almost perfect for two months and now it all seems to be gone, as if I stretched too much my limits and now the elastic has come back... But again "this is my design", there's no point in whining or complaining.. I wrote "balance" because I feel like I need to find the wright balance between working on growing my masculine energy and at the same time letting my feminine one express itself too.. Maybe I'll go to a belly dance course here too.. For now I'll just be happy with going to bed.. 

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• It was a great day!!!  I worked from 8 to 8 and everything went well!! Then I had a drink with a colleague at a place where the owner told me I can pass tomorrow to pay as I had no cash and they had a problem with internet so I couldn't use a card.. After that we went to the birthday party of another colleague.. It was a very beautiful party, we had lots of fun and I also had the occasion to somehow introduce actualized.org or at least the concept of the law of attraction to the people there!! I really didn't think I could actually meet in person someone who had actually read the secret or who was already familiar with the law of attraction.. Then I saw the book on the bookshelf of the host of the party, incredible!!! 
• Today I feel better than yesterday..
• Yesterday I started listening to The Red Queen.. I don't think I've ever been so focused while listening to an audiobook, it's so dense and packed with "truth"!!

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Waking up earlier.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• No one again.. I guess good intentions don't count..

What I learned:

• Not to be afraid of admitting my mistakes. People actually respect you more when you do that. 

[Diane]

Shame. That's the word. And surrender is the answer.

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened recently:

"Action, not hope. Passion not obligation. And results, not plans." 

• Little by little I'm returning to THE path.. Yesterday I studied and today I meditated. 
• I watched the series Luke Cage, the most feminist series I've ever seen!! It's plenty of powerful women but the character I loved most is a male one, Shades.. He's the depiction of what it means to work on a long term project... Someday I'm going to get those Raybans!! AND become a world-class Cardiologist, in the same way as he passed from henchman to king of Harlem.. 

Ways I could have made these days even better:

• Doing my routines.
• Being more focused on my goals.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying.

What I learned:

• There's a cost to realizing one's dreams...

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened in the past few days:

 

What can I say? It's just pure poetry, and it's not even the complete trailer!! Shall I also mention that the first scene of the trailer of Iron Fist is an image of him seated in lotus position meditating?!?! I definitely could write a book entitled "how to self actualize or at least get on board with the idea basing on tv series". The other day I realized that I really have a thing with vigilantes: my first love as refereed to a series was Dexter, then I got on the Marvel track.. But maybe I'm just trying to justify the enormous time I wasted watching so much tv.. 

• I studied, finally!!! And loved every second of it, as always!!
• I ran today!! This run kind of happened to me, one of my house mates proposed me to run together so we did!! We spent more time taking pictures than actually running but still, 2.74km in 24 minutes remain more than the 0km I ran this month!! 
• I decided to start meditating for an hour, I'm really curious to see the difference one year from now... 

Ways I could have made the past few days even better:

• Having a plan for the day.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying!!! 

What I learned:

• The beauty of staying on this path. On Thursday I did my morning workout for he first time from I can't even remember when and it was amazing!! At first I was like "I can't do it, it's too cold outside of the blankets!!" but then I went in Rocky mode and spent all the workout like this:

I literally sang this song throughout the whole workout!! The even more amazing thing is that, as happens in this video, there are more and more people who tell me that I inspired them to go to the gym/start running... All this to the small price of getting up a little earlier in the morning and accepting a little bit of "discomfort"... Incredible!!! 

Edited January 15, 2017 by Diane

[Dragallur]

14 hours ago, Diane said:

I decided to start meditating for an hour, I'm really curious to see the difference one year from now... 

Good job, it might be hard first if you jumped right from 20 minutes to 60 but it will pay off by such interest that it will blow your mind (though I only meditate 1 hour every day for about 6 months)

[Diane]

@Dragallur Thank you, it's definitely easier said than done, I wonder how do people meditate for 12 hours a day without needing an orthopedist after every single session!!  It's good to know that it's possible and worth it!! 

 

Amazing things that happened today:

• I went to a sporting goods store this afternoon and while entering I was like: "home sweet home"!! 
• I'm definitely living the life of my dreams, even in the smallest details... I remember that in high school I had this project/idea/dream/vision of spending much more money on underwear garments than on clothing itself and that's what I actually did without even thinking about it.. Oh, the power of visualization!!!  Talking of which:
• Today I did my whole evening routine!! The only thing left is reading.. It's a very simple evening routine (10 min visualization of my future life; planning the day ahead; writing here and reading) but it's been ages since I've done it properly...

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Waking up earlier;
• Studying.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• No one particular.. I'm in comfortable mode right now, I had decided to start working on moving to Switzerland at the beginning of the year but I found more excuses than courage...

What I learned:

 

Edited January 18, 2017 by Diane

[Diane]

When life gets hard

F*ck it!! I saw this on a wall while going to the canteen this evening.. I'm pretty certain this is one of the uncommunicable truths that Leo keeps referring to!!  My life isn't hard at all however.. I'm just a little lost, lazy and confused.. Fortunately I still have the notes I took during the life purpose course... I re-read them tonight.. It was incredible seeing how so many things I had visualized for my life have actually happened even if I had totally forgotten about wanting them.. So a good completion to "when life gets hard" may also be: "go to the life purpose course"!! It definitely never hurts to go back to basics...

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• These 3:

What can I say?!?! I really can't express what I feel seeing all this.. It's incredible!! It was a wonderful day today, not very productive but full of emotions.. I didn't go to work as I worked from 8 to 8 yesterday and it was Sunday.. So today was the day I should have sent the applications to start the process towards Switzerland.. I didn't send any but at least I prepared the ground and was reassured by all the 1s I saw everywhere... While browsing on facebook I saw the above videos, incredible is the only appropriate word I can use.. I haven't seen any of the two movies yet but I'm already crying...

And to finish up such an emotional day I saw this on Leo's blog:

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Acting on my feelings.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Uhm, feeling?! 

What I learned:

• Not to wait for the perfect/good conditions!! It's something I'm definitely learning during these strange and disoriented days..

Edited January 30, 2017 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened lately:

• It was a great Sunday!!!  I hadn't programmed anything in particular as yesterday night I was in complete PMS mode but in the end I woke up early, meditated, went to church, ran and also studied!!! Not bad!!! 
• For what concerns the other days I don't know.. I survived myself and my laziness.. I experienced once again how important it is for me to actually do my routines and to run.. Every time I don't I start to get anxious and to become sadder and sadder.. I'm grateful that I'm always on time to come back to them!!
• I bought a computer!! And learnt that hope is not exaclty the best money management approach out there...

Ways I could have made these days even better:

• Doing my routines;
• Being more compassionate and loving.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying!!! 
• Re-watching Django in French.. 

What I learned:

I was simply amazed when I saw the title of Leo's latest video.. It's exactly what I needed!! Then I went from amazed to simply speechless when I realized that I already knew the story he was telling.. WOW!!!! 

It's good to know that there is not a one-size-fits-all way to have a balanced life and that I'm not supposed to always be in the middle.. Life is a dance, and I love dancing!!!  I think I already wrote it once but repetita iuvant!! 

Edited February 6, 2017 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened in this week:

• On Monday I went to a crossfit trial class, AMAZING!!!! I was like: I finally found home in Sardinia!!!  I'll start in March.. I still haven't found the correct adjective to describe crossfit.. What I know is that I was called warrior for the first time in my life and it was the best compliment I've ever received!!! The coach said that I have a flair for this.. It would be nice to analyze all this from a psychological point of view.. From a certain point of view choosing crossfit as sport is pretty masochistic.. But from another one dying from diabetes/hypertension/depression is the real masochistic choice...
• I came back home two days ago!! I really needed a few days of vacation, Leo definitely has a point in saying that one should take a few days off once every three months...
• I think I'm in love.. It's more a crush than real love actually, I feel like the teenager I never was.. Fortunately I have Leo's book list!! AND a life purpose to realize... 

Ways I could have made this week even better:

• Studying more;
• Leaving my eternal state of paralysis by analysis.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• No one... 

What I learned:

• Yesterday I cut my already short hair.. It didn't come out exactly as planned but I'm ok with that.. I remember one day during high school I cried almost all night long for having to go to school the next day with unfinished braids... I wish I could go back in time and hug that girl's tears away... It's literally just hair and people don't actually care, or better: "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter"..

[Diane]

So so so...

It's the last day of February, 2017 has been here for two months already and I haven't gone so far with my projects.. So let's go back to basics. Here is my mission statement/me sheet:

My life purpose: To do plenty of research and public speaking to make people healthier through consciousness AND become a world- class Cardiologist!!!

My zone of genius: Research and public speaking.

My domain of mastery: Cardiology.

My ideal medium: Public speaking.

Fortunately working as a doctor I have to do some form of public speaking every day.

For what concerns making people healthier through consciousness I think I've done it in some subltle ways, which is quite remarkable since I haven't been reading my mission statement lately (or regularly doing any of my routines...).

Research.. I've been studying even at work, instead of going on pinterest during coffee breaks I find myself reviewing something more and more often. Good.

And finally my one and only...  I haven't been a good spouse lately, the good thing is that love is still there, I just need to start demonstrating it in a more definite, clear and open way again. 

My top goals for this year:

To start specializing in Cardiology in Switzerland;

To earn at least 6000€ per month;

To finally read (=study) the Braunwald’s manual of Cardiology;

To do courses of rapid learning and speed reading;

To make reading a daily habit;

Having white teeth.

This list actually dates june 2016, even if I think I wrote about specializing in Switzerland later on.. So..

What relieves me about not having done almost anything to reach the first goal is this:

On 26/12/2016 at 2:32 AM, Diane said:

What I need to do in the next 3 months to achieve my goals:

• Applying for a place as a resident there and going to some interviews;
• Improving my French (reading and listening to book in French and speaking French every time I can);
• Studying studying studying!!!!

"3 months", phew!!  The truth is that I'm scared and at the same time I'm soooooo comfortable here in Sardinia... Anyway, I decided to transform the question "ways I came closer to becoming a worldclass Cardiologist" into the more specific "Ways I got closer to Switzerland". I really don't know the how and feel totally not ready for this but I know the why. They say it's a good starting point..

For what concerns the earning goal I believe it came from doing Kate Northrup's MoneyLoveChallenge. If I'm not mistaken among other things she suggested to have a specific earning goal. I'm not totally sure about this right now, I'd rather have a lifestyle goal to achieve than a mere financial one.. Wonderful, I'm one goal-to-reach lighter!! 

The other ones are quite self-explanatory. I don't know how I expect to reach the last goal with the amount of coffee I drink every day tough... 

 

Enough for the doing. Now let's get to the real stuff:

"THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ENLIGHTMENT AND INSANITY, YOU COMPLETELY LOOSE ALL SENSE OF REALITY AND IT'S NEVER COMING BACK. (...) YOU'RE ON A JOURNEY TO BECOME INSANE BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BECOME INSANELY FUNCTIONAL. (...) IT'S ABOUT GOING BEYOND INSANITY. WHEN YOU GO BEYOND INSANITY WHAT THE CONVENTIONAL MIND CALLS INSANITY TURNS INTO SANITY AND THE CONVENTIONAL MIND, WHICH WE CALL SANITY, BECOMES INSANITY. (...) AND THEN, WHEN YOU BECOME INSANE EVERYTHING IS FINE!!". Leo Gura

As he said, one could spend an entire life trying to explain all this.. I can't even describe what I felt hearing those words, it was like seeing the world with the right glasses after a life with the wrong ones: I kind of saw something with the first ones but now the colors are brighter then ever... Really, he couldn't have expressed it in a more perfect and engaging way!!

Edited February 28, 2017 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I'm writing here!!!!!! 
• The chief director of my specialization school said that I am "an excellent new addition" talking about me with another colleague... 
• For the first time I walked out from an 8-20 shift not feeling completely exhausted..

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Doing my morning routine.

❤️ Ways I got closer to Switzerland:

•  no one..

What I learned:

• The importance of the concept of equanimity.

Edited March 4, 2017 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I spent a great time with my roomates at lunch;
• It stopped raining right before I had to go out;
• I'm writing here even if I'm uber sleepy.. Everything worth  having requires an effort, they say..

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Running!! Toomorrow I'll start crossfit though... 

Ways I got closer to Switzerland ❤️ :

• I sent the first application to work as a resident in Internal Medicine (I have to do 2 years of internal medicine and then 4 of Cardiology..). It was incredible, I was "forced" to do it today as on Saturday, tired of hearing my mum asking me about where I was with this project, I told her to recall me this evening.. External motivation has its importance too apparently..  At first I had decided to apply only in peripheral hospitals as they should be less sought-after but then I saw that I could apply directly to the CHUV, one of the biggest hospitals in Switzerland, so I did!!

What I learned:

• Not to put limitations on how far (and fast) I can go.