From Half-assed Medical Student To Worldclass Cardiologist

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• There's a pianist in my condominium. He/she plays every day, always the same piece and the same scales..  Discipline..
• Alex&Mimi Ikonn's little princess is born!! I don't even know those two but I'm so happy for them!!! 
• I contacted my three future colleagues in Internal Medicine, one of them answered me and was very kind!! 

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Having a plan.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying.

What I learned:

• "Letting go of attachment doesn't mean going to live in a cave in the woods. It means you don't rely on it for your happiness." Thank you @aurum!! 

[aurum]

15 minutes ago, Diane said:

What I learned:

• "Letting go of attachment doesn't mean going to live in a cave in the woods. It means you don't rely on it for your happiness." Thank you @aurum!! 

You're welcome. Good luck!

[Diane]

Resistance

Resistance can be very very sneaky.. I know I should have expected it but oh boy, it strikes like nothing. I can't even write well about it.. The matter is: I've decided that I see myself well in Switzerland and the plan is to spend this year saving money and preparing to move there. The first step is to send applications so that I can go specialize there. Today I finished writing my CV in French, it took me 3 weeks to write one page.. I should have started writing the motivational letter to accompany it but I ended up in paralysis by analysis mode and justifying watching the last 4 episodes of Daredevil (50 min each) by the fact that I was watching them in French.. Nothing really bad with that, I did improve my English watching TV series.. So, yeah..

The answer to procrastination is mindfulness or for us newbies to "just do the thing".. Who knows, maybe it'll work.. 

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I really enjoyed this evening's bellydance lesson!! 
• I finally started writing the motivational letter!!
• I was able to maintain a promise.

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Studying.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Starting the motivational letter!! A brute force approach sometimes really works!!

What I learned:

• Living in 2016 sometimes makes you stupider.. I'm so used to looking for tutorials for everything on the internet that I spent almost 2 hours watching videos and reading about how to hand wash clothes.. Awareness itself is curative, I definitely hope so!!!

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• My lazy days haven't ended yet but oddly enough the last two days have been the most productive of this period, even if I wasn't doing nothing I had decided to 90% of the time. 
• The pianist in my apartment building keeps practicing every day.. He/she not only gives me a great example of what is actual dedication, I also don't need to put on any background music when I study/write/do anything I need to concentrate on..
• I'm (finally) back to basics: 
  I think I could fall into the category of the overachiever who becomes lazy between different projects even if "overachiever" is not a word I would normally use to describe myself.. It's just a phase anyway, apparently one cannot be into beast mode all the time... 

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Studying.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Typing my motivational letter and showing it to my mum.. 

What I learned:

• Not to identify with my thoughts. I see it like being a robot, in a good way though as it means I don't let myself get into my own way.

One of the most beautiful periods of my life was last year's August, back then I REALLY was a machine!! I woke up at 5, ran while watching the sunrise (), did my morning routine and then studied all day long using the pomodoro tecnique. During pauses I listened to audiobooks or read The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius.. I was still fresh from reading George Leornard's "Mastery" and I kept repeating to myself the five steps he gives.. I'm re-reading it now!!

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• The pianist in my apartment bulding plays almost all day long... The universe is definitely trying to tell me something.. I hope it won't take me being hit by a car again to remobilize  myself..
• I saw an 11 going out of the stationery store where I bought the envelope I'll use to send the documents necessay to make my degree valid throughout Europe.. 
• I meditated. Leo said that it's when you stop meditating that you know that the Ego has won so there's still hope for me!! 

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Studying, following plan A, being more active and focused. I think I'll restart doing the list of things I'm excited about the day in the morning, not here but on a post-it or on evernote, just to have a little anchor during my days..
• Running/working out. It's a trait of mine to stop excercising for any little thing that happens to my health. It was very interesting realizing the fact that those health issues might just be a manifestation of my homeostatic systems at work...

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• I don't think that rewatching most of the videos in the playlist "work, money & business" counts so: none..

What I learned:

• Again, the importance of not trusting and following too much "my" thoughts. They're not even mine after all!! 

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I'm slowly but consistently recovering from laziness!!
• I think I was a good sister to my brother today..
• I realized that not having wifi where I'll be staying from November is actually a good thing: I'll get the chance to listen to some funny radio shows I haven't listened to in a while and to actually do self developement instead of just learning about it...

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Studying.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Reading an article on hypertensive emergencies.. Not much but better than nothing!!

What I learned:

• Your life purpose should scare the shit out of you! - Leo Gura -

Productivity score (from here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlTrxpNaZI8):

• 1,5/4 

Edited October 14, 2016 by Diane

[Diane]

Is there a doctor sitter out there?! Mimi Ikonn said that we feminine strength people tend to secretely hope that someone will come and solve everything for us.. Who knows, maybe if I meditate, pray and visualize long enough he/she will come!!  In the meantime..

Amazing things that happened today:

• I worked out!!! 
• I watched the movie "Hippocrate", it's about junior doctors in France.. A part of me thought I would actually learn something from it. It was like thinking that watching doctor House would improve my clinical skills.. It certainly did I improve my French anyway!! 
• I finally contacted a friend I Switzerland to ask for some help with the procedures I have to make to move there!! He was super nice!!!

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Doing more..

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying!!! 

What I learned:

• It's something I've just realized while recapping my day: I tend to beat myself up a little too much.. Yea, I could have done a lot more but that doesn't rub out what I actually did.. I was having some doubts about this journal's layout, thanks God I stuck to it anyway, it really helps me seeing things from a different point of view!!
• Waiting for someone/something to force me to do things is not the greatest strategy to achieve my goals... Once more common sense is not common practice..

Productivity score:

• 1.5/4

Edited October 15, 2016 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• It was a great day!!! I finally returned to savour the joy of doing the right thing!! I guess it comes back to the concept that awareness itself is curing, I didn't have to force myself to do anything yet I did most of the things I had planned to do!! 
• I decided to follow the advices in the video "lifestyle minimalism".. I had actually forgotten what it was about.. Thankfully Leo us not a radio, other videos I had forgotten about are "Freedom vs self discipline" and the one about self control.. No wonders I was missing out!! I had a nice insight while listening to all those videos: I am the only one who decides how my life unfolds.. As obvious as it seems I had never felt it so vividly.. Then I got this idea of being/becoming a "heart warrior", a warrior in the field of Cardiology, in the sense that I totally devote my life to it.. The funny thing is that this was my original plan: one of the reasons I chose to study medicine was that I didn't want to get married and medicine looked like a sufficiently all-absorbing career that wouldn't have left me time to think about the fact of not being married and not having a family of my own... Incredible!! 
• I ran!!! 
• I "found out" that hand washing is actually easy.. The mind can be such a trickster sometimes!!

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Studying more.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying!!! 

What I learned:

• I discovered how I want to live my life: simply and fully!! 

Productivity score:

• 3/4)

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I started packing my stuff.. I had forgotten how tiring packing can be.. It's good to go to bed tired however!! The other good thing is that I still prioritized studying.. In the past I would have spent all day packing even if I'll be leaving next Tuesday..
• I worked out!! I love my DIY  exercise routine: a 5km run and 20 min bodyweight workout on alternate days..I hope I'll stay consistent with it to see the results!!
• I'm writing her even if I'm wipe tired...  

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Going out of the house for something more than taking out the trash..

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying!!  

What I learned:

• To respect my evening routine's timing.

Productivity score:

• 6/10

Edited October 17, 2016 by Diane

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened in the last few days:

• I'm becoming more aware. Of two things in particular: the time I waste and the fact that I am the ultimate creator of what happens in my life. I can see myself much more clearly when I procrastinate or just take unreasonably long breaks.. Yesterday for example it took me one hour to write a 3 sentences message.. It was in French but in 1 hour I think I could have learnt by hearth the definition of every single word I used.. About being a creator, it's something actually very obvious too but it's really the first time I "feel" it!! Tomorrow I'm going to shave my hair so that I can wash it every day without it taking too much time.. I had a real  aha moment when I fully realized that I get to design my own life and I can do it however I want.. I also see other people's choices differently now, nothing seems so absurd any more, I understand that everyone is free to choose his/her lifestyle and the other choices he/she makes must be compared only with that first choice..
• Even when things don't go as expected not he end everything is always perfeclty fine!!
• I have the best BFF ever!! Really, she's the best!!! 

Ways I could have made the last few days even better:

• Studying and doing all of my routines.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Making little tiny steps towardstowards moving in Switzerland.

What I learned:

• I am a Goddess, not only if hunting but, and mist of all, of my life

Productivity score:

• 6/10

[Diane]

It's my last night at home with my parents!!! Tomorrow I'll be leaving for Sardinia where from November 1st I'll be a resident in Internal Medicine!!! The interesting thing is that today I also finished the last one of the three months of meditation described in the video "how to meditate deeper". It took me a year to do all the three months but I couldn't have finished them in a moment more perfect than this one. Now my goal is to do one year of meditation without missing any day. I'm not sure about which tecnique I'll be using, I like the one of the second month, "active detatchment".. Tomorrow I'll have plenty of time to decide..  

[Diane]

I'm finally back to writing here!! (I'm always a bit self-conscious about the amount of times I use the word "I" as it's a reminder of the fact that I'm still a beginner in this journey, nothing bad in itself though,it's just the fact that I don't see any evolution.. Maybe I'm just on a plateau.. On the other hand there's the fact that you need to build a  strong ego before starting to "destroy" it so maybe "I shouldn't use the word I so much" is just another souls statement to get rid of...)

Amazing things that happened in the last few days:

• I moved to Sardinia!! For the first time in my life I'm alone in a place where I don't know anybody.. Fortunately people  are very kind and open.. Being by myself has its pros and its cons but overall I'm definitely enjoying this experince!! I'm very grateful for this!!
• I studied today!! I also worked oit!!!  the only missing piece is running now.. I plan to look for an itinerary this weekend..
• I'm listening to the Colplay right now!! 

Ways I could have made the last few days even better:

• Prioritizing my routines.. That which is easy to do is even easier not to do, right?! But at least I meditated. I can't say which technique I'm using, something between "active detachment" and the one in Leo's first video about how to meditate.. Anyhow, I decided to continue meditating 20 minutes every day and 4 hours in the weekend. We'll see how it goes..

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• smSyudying!!

What I learned:

• My body is more resilient that I thought.

Productivity score:

• 6/10

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I found a nice itinerary for running!! It's plenty of little up slopes, we'll see how it goes tomorrow!!
• I did my evening routine (10 min. vjsualization of my future life + reading, I didn't plan tomorrow though)!!
• I think I found a new ritual: drinking something hot when I don't do my evening routine right after dinner..

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Doing the 4 hours of strong determination sitting I had de codec to so, I did one though..

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying, not much but I did..

What I learned:

• I'm one of the luckiest persons in the world, if not the luckiest of all!!

Productivity score

• 6/10

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I ran!!! The weather is incredible here in Sardinia, I can sunbathe just staying in my room!!!! 
• My mum thanked me for calling her even before we started talking... The small things are really the most precious ones sometimes!! 
• I studied all day long and loved it! At least at first, then I just told myself that it's not supposed to be funny all the time and I'm also not supposed be in the mood of doing what I have to do every single moment...

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Being even more focused.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying!! I <3 EKG!!! 

What I learned:

• The effectiveness of lifestyle minimalism!! I'm really learning to go back to essentials. I'm facilitated in that by the fact that there's no Wi-Fi at the dorm where I'm staying and during the weekends almost everyone goes back home so it's really just me and my books, which I fortunately love very  much!! 

Productivity score:

• 7/10

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I just came back from a dinner with my future colleagues!!  They're very nice people, we had a great time!!
• I did the "how to harness your intuition" exercises.. It was wonderful!!! Especially answering to the question "what would my life look like if I had the courage to follow my deepest intuition?". I started smiling the second I finished reading it...  I would be happy, at peace and I wouldn't be lazy.. This afternoon I realized that the laziness I sometimes experience is ultimately a lack of courage, the courage to let go of resistance and just do what I have to do to reach my goals.. Anyway doing those exercises was a really good source of positive motivation!! 
• I actually "found the courage" to study even if I really wasn't feeling like it!! Little wins are the greatest ones!!! 

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Taking the decision to study even if I didn't feel like it more quickly..

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying!!!

What I learned:

• To be more open minded, not to judge people from appearances..

Productivity score:

• I didn't have a plan for today..

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I ran!!! I'm on my way to finding a 5km itinerary!! 
• It was a nice day overall, I'm definitely enjoying my new life alone.. Today I decided to workout every day in the morning and to run every other day in the afternoon, ideally right after coming home from work.. It's nothing that I couldn't do at home too but for some reasons I find it easier now..
• I rediscovered a great book I had in pdf.. Better late than never!! 

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Planning out the day..

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• Studying!!  

What I learned:

• The beauty of living my life according to my own rules!!

Productivity score:

• I was rather productive even if I hadn't planned the day in detail.. Good!!  

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• Today was my first day of work as a resident in Internal Medicine!! And for a strange coincidence today I also received the certification that makes my degree valid in all Europe.. Theoretically I'll have all the time I need to study and to prepare for moving in Switzerland.. IF not all of my afternoons end up like today's one, I was so thrilled of having access to Wi-Fi in the library I went to that I spent almost all of the time on YouTube... 
• I listened to Leo's latest video about projection, very very interesting!!! I haven't done the exercises yet but the video reminded me of a concept he once said about accepting and integrating the characteristics of people we don't like.. In the end it's all about us, about "me".. The ego is the problem..
• I had a very satisfying dinner!! I still have to figure out how I want to eat and what is the best diet for me but my risotto with asparagus was delicious!!  Without even planning for it I've been a vegetarian for almost a week now, meat is definitely overrated!!  I actually ate spaghetti with tuna and some salami at the dinner with my colleagues.. Nevermind!! 

Ways could have made today even better:

• Studying!!

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• No one in particular..

What I learned:

• The importance of focusing on the positive;
• Not to project in my teachers, it really happens happens to me all the time...

Productivity score:

• 5/10

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• A patient I just visited yesterday gave me lots of compliments!! I didn't do anything particular for her and we didn't even talk more than necessary but she said she was sorry for having known me only now that she is about to go home... Incredible!! 
• I was able to give some nedical-related advices to one of the girls who live in the dorm I'm staying at.. It's amazing when I realize that I somewhat made someone "healthier through consciousness"!! 
• My second day of work went well too!!

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Planing out the day and being more focused on my goals..

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• No one.. 

What I learned:

• Not to write this journal in bed...

Productivity score:

• ...

 

[Diane]

Amazing things that happened today:

• I woke up at 5.25am!! It was a great success even if I had put the alarm clock at 4.30.. I'll get there too!! 
• I walked away from the hospital super charged and happy today! Not because I was "finally" leaving, I was simply totally satisfied!! Wow!!
• I'm starting to understand how things work at work..  

Ways I could have made today even better:

• Working out.

Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist:

• No one particular...

What I learned:

I should have lunch even if I get home at 4pm, otherwise I'll get hungry like at 6pm and have dinner at 6.30.. There's nothing bad with that in reality.. Maybe "you shouldn't have dinner before 7pm" is another should statement to be dropped.. Or it's actually good to have meals always at the same time, which is true.. The fact is that the freedom I have now makes me question a lot of things I assumed to be unquestionable truths... We'll see how it ends..

Proctivity score:

• 6.5/10