How to be fun at parties?

[sleep]

I generally suck at social interaction. Through practice I think i've managed to achieve some decent level of competency in conversations between few people, though my weakest area has been large gatherings of people for a while. I'm a bit socially anxious and I'm sure that contributes to it, but for some reason I always seem to get a mental block at parties specifically. I just sit there and have a really hard time speaking or doing stuff like cracking jokes, like I get drained of energy or something. Sometimes drinking helps loosen me up a bit but most times it doesn't. I'm not sure how to overcome this, I've been going out more but the problem doesn't seem to improve and I'm starting to get really frustrated. 

[Spiral]

I am terrible in groups. I find it draining, however you can make a group into one on one, by chatting up one person. More personal topics often help to prevent outsides getting all up in your conversation.

[integral]

Use a stimulant of some kind it really helps for introverts. 

[petar8p]

Don't be fun, just have fun!

 

Then add that fun to the people around you without creeping them up too much and you're the main guy. A lot of people are just stifled.

Edited October 16, 2022 by petar8p

[The0Self]

To start with, always assume the interaction will go well, is going well, and will continue to go well.

[Emrie]

On 17/10/2022 at 2:27 AM, The0Self said:

To start with, always assume the interaction will go well, is going well, and will continue to go well.

For real, I noticed recently how my negative thoughts affected my life so badly. Especially in social situations.

I remember one day I had an after-work drink with some colleagues and at one point in the conversation I felt like I wasn't doing well enough and I started feeling really bad about myself, and then a little later, the conversation stopped for a bit and I felt TERRIBLE that I couldn't keep it going.

Then the next day, I had a conversation with someone on the train home from work and it was a very chill, nice, relaxed and just overall good. There were actually plenty of silent moments in that train ride and a decent bit of them (not all, but a decent amount) were broken by my conversation partner, not me. But I didn't feel bad and ultimately the conversation flowed naturally and I had a much better time.

Realistically the only difference between those two were just my negative thoughts.

So for real, always assume it's going well, and it'll actually go well.

[The0Self]

3 minutes ago, Emrie said:

So for real, always assume it's going well, and it'll actually go well.

Yep. 

That automatically puts all the sub-communication (the most important part) in the optimal place.