Dealing with haters, trolls and critics?

[Danioover9000]

   What are your thoughts and how would you advice the following people:

 

 

 

 

[Danioover9000]

   @flowboy Thanks for replying to my post. It's not that I consider it wasting my time watching these videos, I'm also a creator and can relate to dealing with trolls, haters and critics, and am wondering in general how others here deal with such people, but thanks anyways for your input.

[flowboy]

@Danioover9000  What I meant was: I'm not willing to watch an hour of stuff just to determine what your exact question is.

To answer "how to deal with", first we must know "why to deal with"

Why are haters, trolls and critics a problem?

What I often see on videos is, that after a period of negative comments, eventually the positive comments get voted to the top.

Good wins out over evil, even in the comment section.

So what's the problem?

[Danioover9000]

@flowboy

3 minutes ago, flowboy said:

@Danioover9000  What I meant was: I'm not willing to watch an hour of stuff just to determine what your exact question is.

To answer "how to deal with", first we must know "why to deal with"

Why are haters, trolls and critics a problem?

What I often see on videos is, that after a period of negative comments, eventually the positive comments get voted to the top.

Good wins out over evil, even in the comment section.

So what's the problem?

   That's the problem, why do trolls, haters and critics exist? Is it because they have no sense of direction in life?

   My solutions, barely working so far, is to ignore and blacklist, but I've found that approach kind of like me sweeping the problems in the rug. So, here I am, curious about why they just exist LOL!

   

[flowboy]

@Danioover9000  So why is "doing nothing" not an option, when it comes to "dealing with them"?

[flowboy]

Why they exist is an entirely different question.

 

One can only speculate.

I like to try and find the evil within myself.

I've certainly been mean to some people occasionally, when I was in high school.

When I think back at why, I remember that I had been bullied so much that I had started to think, that it was the only way to survive.

My quality of consciousness was extremely flattened, beaten down, because of the lifelong lack of social acceptance I had suffered.

And so I said mean things to the weak and kicked at pidgeons.

A desperate attempt to feel some control.

This only happened 2 or 3 times in total, by no means was I a bully.

But... if my suffering had been worse, and my upbringing more violent, I could have been.

@Danioover9000 Have you never had the life beaten out of you, or the social rejection so much that you felt the need to be mean to someone innocent, just to blow off some steam or feel some control?

[Danioover9000]

@flowboy

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

@Danioover9000  So why is "doing nothing" not an option, when it comes to "dealing with them"?

   Obviously, that's an option that is dependent on the situation. I can safely say, online, ignoring is highly probably the best option? But in IRL I'm wondering if there's other means beside just doing nothing? Again, it'll be context dependent if and when a random person just hate speeches at my face, or trolls me over in person.

[Danioover9000]

@flowboy

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

Why they exist is an entirely different question.

 

One can only speculate.

I like to try and find the evil within myself.

I've certainly been mean to some people occasionally, when I was in high school.

When I think back at why, I remember that I had been bullied so much that I had started to think, that it was the only way to survive.

My quality of consciousness was extremely flattened, beaten down, because of the lifelong lack of social acceptance I had suffered.

And so I said mean things to the weak and kicked at pidgeons.

A desperate attempt to feel some control.

This only happened 2 or 3 times in total, by no means was I a bully.

But... if my suffering had been worse, and my upbringing more violent, I could have been.

@Danioover9000 Have you never had the life beaten out of you, or the social rejection so much that you felt the need to be mean to someone innocent, just to blow off some steam or feel some control?

   I can relate a little bit to the bullying. But kicking the pigeons? Come on, either chase them down, or feed them pieces of bread, at least that's what I did when I was little. Nowadays some come to my garden, and I feed them bird feed and nuts.

   Also, most Critics, haters and trolls, I think not only do they lack a solid LP, but are deeply jealous at something that they lacked, and witnessed another person having at a young age, or have someone made those activities, despite it being negative, pleasurable in their minds. When I was in elementary, at the playgrounds, I saw one of the boys found some kind of feather, and it was a Kestrel feather!  I was so jealous, that that night I dreamed of finding a sword in that playground that was more epic than the feather.

[petar8p]

1 hour ago, Danioover9000 said:

That's the problem, why do trolls, haters and critics exist? Is it because they have no sense of direction in life?

Pretty much. Dedicated and fulfilled people don't have time for this. Subconsciously they just want you to feel like them and not pursue your goals. Because if you do, they might face what they have to do to move forward in life.

 

It's also part of your job as a creator to know how to scan this type of critic and distance yourself from it. Let you unaffected. 

 

If you're affected very much it's probably a sign of lack of confidence. Believe in yourself and you won't need other people to believe in you; all you get is just extra icing on the cake.

[Danioover9000]

@petar8p

12 hours ago, petar8p said:

Pretty much. Dedicated and fulfilled people don't have time for this. Subconsciously they just want you to feel like them and not pursue your goals. Because if you do, they might face what they have to do to move forward in life.

 

It's also part of your job as a creator to know how to scan this type of critic and distance yourself from it. Let you unaffected. 

 

If you're affected very much it's probably a sign of lack of confidence. Believe in yourself and you won't need other people to believe in you; all you get is just extra icing on the cake.

   I get it that if a person has a life vision, and is dedicated to it, they won't have the time to be trolls, haters and critics...unless their LP is to be trolls, haters, and critics?

   I'm affected by it sometimes. I get sad sometimes, but also aroused by the hate and trolling comments. I don't know how to manage that. It''s like a guilty pleasure.

[Danioover9000]

@Tron

8 minutes ago, Tron said:

your rap was dogshit you suburban white girl 

   See, this is the perfect example of a hate comment, like Kenshin, go back to your anime, get a real sword already, please, and get laid with your childhood friend already. Thank you for the perfect hate comment BTW.

[petar8p]

7 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

unless their LP is to be trolls, haters, and critics?

It doesn't matter what their reason is. It's never justifiable to put someone down in their attempts of success. But it can only not be justifiable in your world. In their world they obviously don't see that.

 

7 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

 I'm affected by it sometimes. I get sad sometimes, but also aroused by the hate and trolling comments. I don't know how to manage that. It''s like a guilty pleasure.

It's human to get affected of course. It pulls you in because their passion to hate is stronger than your passion for your work.

 

31 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

See, this is the perfect example of a hate comment, like Kenshin, go back to your anime, get a real sword already, please, and get laid with your childhood friend already. Thank you for the perfect hate comment BTW.

I don't know if he's serious at this point.

Also I don't why it's not forbidden to be rude multiple times without any reason on this forum.. Are we trying to be conscious or what?

Edited October 14, 2022 by petar8p

[Loba]

Hmmn... well... I have delt with this in the past.  And I might have one now, but it's too soon to tell.
My solution at this point is to see where I am at with myself.  I am obviously trying so hard to grow, to change, to be sincere - that if someone trolls me, it isn't a reflection of me anymore.  I've let it go.  Maybe there was, at one time - I could see how this would have been warranted due to my actions - but they're tempered and I try.  Very hard.

So it then becomes a complete reflection of that person's inability to See me and meet me where I am at.  I change every day.  When people troll you, or hate on you, it is because they have taken a snapshot of you.  People who do this will keep you in one frame for as long as it suit them.  It never was about you and never will be.  You could be completely different a week later, and if they were open, they would See this.

In which case, it simply shows the hater/trolls inability to change/grow with others.  And that isn't your problem, is it?

Hope that helps. 

[Tron]

8 hours ago, petar8p said:

 

 

I don't know if he's serious at this point.

Also I don't why it's not forbidden to be rude multiple times without any reason on this forum.. Are we trying to be conscious or what?

She came at me sideways after I resolved my issue in my thread. Tried to tear me apart personally with some lame ass white washed bs rap. She deserved that. 

Edited October 15, 2022 by Tron

[Ulax]

On 13/10/2022 at 10:59 PM, Danioover9000 said:

   @flowboy Thanks for replying to my post. It's not that I consider it wasting my time watching these videos, I'm also a creator and can relate to dealing with trolls, haters and critics, and am wondering in general how others here deal with such people, but thanks anyways for your input.

@Danioover9000 In my opinion, a lot of these folks will have cluster B personality disorders, and perhaps sociopathy/ psychopathy.

I think they are all just trying to meet their needs, and their cluster B/ sociopathic/ psychopathic needs meeting strategies match well with devaluing youtubers. I think Dr Ramani's narcissism glossary series on youtube and also her stuff on strategies for dealing with them can be really useful. I will note she seems to be quite hostile against cluster B/ sociopathic/ psychopathic folks, so wouldn't say she's stage yellow.

But ye, I think folks need a specific strategy for dealing with those types of people because, to my understanding, their minds operate in a markedly different ways from the average person, and they can be v dangerous. Erich Fromm wrote some stuff about malignant narcissistic PD and how it relates to leaders that commit major atrocities.

[Proserpina]

If they are male I believe they usually have a crush on me.  I can’t count how many times I’ve seduced the bully before.

 If they are female, I cry on the bathroom floor.  Ahem, I mean I avoid them.

Edited October 15, 2022 by Proserpina

[petar8p]

5 hours ago, Tron said:

She came at me sideways after I resolved my issue in my thread. Tried to tear me apart personally with some lame ass white washed bs rap. She deserved that. 

I'm sorry you're hurt. When are you willing to try to respond to rude with kind?

[Proserpina]

No but seriously.  It’s usually an internal problem and issue with that person, possibly related to their past, inner disowning, and fears.  It will affect their own spiritual path, their bitterness and hate will act as a barrier to many giftings.  You have to give that all up if you want to get anywhere on the spiritual path.  I know my value and worth, and I wouldn’t trade in my gift for any hate any day. Hate can be a bridge, but you don’t want to act from or stay in that place.

 How to handle?  Ignore, take it as a lesson on how not to be and forgive. 

Edited October 15, 2022 by Proserpina

[Danioover9000]

@petar8p

16 hours ago, petar8p said:

It doesn't matter what their reason is. It's never justifiable to put someone down in their attempts of success. But it can only not be justifiable in your world. In their world they obviously don't see that.

 

It's human to get affected of course. It pulls you in because their passion to hate is stronger than your passion for your work.

 

I don't know if he's serious at this point.

Also I don't why it's not forbidden to be rude multiple times without any reason on this forum.. Are we trying to be conscious or what?

   He tried to assault me on the forum first, so we got history between us for several months, and instead of reporting him, I rapped, and fried his self-esteem, so this beef been cooking for a while, over nothing, so I ignored him, but almost every post and thread he come at me like a pervert. I treated it like a game, because I thought it was no big deal, it's a banter to me when he said those mean things, but I guess he took it a bit personally, so, he's now a terrible human being because of it, and has a hate crush on me, which is disappointing. 

Edited October 15, 2022 by Danioover9000

[Danioover9000]

@Ulax

8 hours ago, Ulax said:

@Danioover9000 In my opinion, a lot of these folks will have cluster B personality disorders, and perhaps sociopathy/ psychopathy.

I think they are all just trying to meet their needs, and their cluster B/ sociopathic/ psychopathic needs meeting strategies match well with devaluing youtubers. I think Dr Ramani's narcissism glossary series on youtube and also her stuff on strategies for dealing with them can be really useful. I will note she seems to be quite hostile against cluster B/ sociopathic/ psychopathic folks, so wouldn't say she's stage yellow.

But ye, I think folks need a specific strategy for dealing with those types of people because, to my understanding, their minds operate in a markedly different ways from the average person, and they can be v dangerous. Erich Fromm wrote some stuff about malignant narcissistic PD and how it relates to leaders that commit major atrocities.

   My guess is, she's around stage orange to green in values, her cognitive development is at a faster pacing, look at how she speaks and how she gestures a lot, her moral development I'm not sure, but she isn't a moral absolutist, nor is she a moral relativist, somewhere in between. Her psychology and personality traits I guess is she's more extroverted than introverted although she did say she was shy and introverted when as a child, more open minded than closed, more conscientious, more agreeable than disagreeable, maybe even narcissistic herself, given how personally she's taking the hate comments and is uncomfortable with her image Self Image being attacked like that. Don't know much about her life experiences, other than her name being Kelsey Rodriguez, her last name sounding Mexican gives me the impression most of her life experiences are in Mexico with some traditionalist type of upbringing, never mind she said her parents are addicts as fuck and is raised mostly my grandparents.