Should I Keep Using Anger To Accomplish My Goals?

[Christian]

To give you a bit of backstory, I was bullied a lot, never had a proper support system, got manipulated a lot in the past, was criticized for being my authentic self, indirectly told I was a piece of shit. 

And in order to function in society I've supressed this anger, fear, hurt, and apathy for the past decade. I can't get angry at people for some reason. Every time I have an intention to express anger I experience a very intense resistance. So that feeds into the whole problem because I am an easy target and people around me see that and use that to their advantage. 

But one positive aspect of this is that I use this anger to accomplish my goals and I've kind of developed this paradigm which is me vs the world. I believe the world is a place where people are assholes who are "out to get me" and that inspires me to be this arrogant  over-achiever. I've used this emotion of anger to get good grades, I'm using it now to build a meditation habit and its been going great as I've done it now for 50 days in a row now. 

So should I keep this anger? I really want to because it is a powerful tool, but I just feel like it is incongruent. It's probably negative motivation, but oh boy is it effective! I've never been more motivated to change and I sort of want to use the anger constructively to keep achieving my goals. But I can't see far here. I am unaware of the long term consequences and would like your feedback. Am I on the right track? 

[sweater]

@Christian If its the only thing that motivates you than yes keep the anger cause its better having some type of motivation (negative or positive) than to not be motivated at all. Although i say this try working on transitioning your negative motivation to positive motivation. Negative motivation usually comes with the "yo-yo effect" so you could only get so far with it.

If you havent seen this video i recommend you watch it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blI9D8ZeC38

Edited February 19, 2017 by Bugs

[Shin]

You'll drop your anger soon enough if you continue to practice, and this will be the best thing that ever happened to you.

 

[Christian]

11 minutes ago, Shin said:

You'll drop your anger soon enough if you continue to practice, and this will be the best thing that ever happened to you.

 

Who knows? Maybe it is, maybe not. Can't really tell right now... But I will continue to meditate regardless and I intuit what you are saying probably is right. 

Thanks @Shin

[Christian]

17 minutes ago, Bugs said:

@Christian If its the only thing that motivates you than yes keep the anger cause its better having some type of motivation (negative or positive) than to not be motivated at all. Although i say this try working on transitioning your negative motivation to positive motivation. Negative motivation usually comes with the "yo-yo effect" so you could only get so far with it.

If you havent seen this video i recommend you watch it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blI9D8ZeC38

The motivation I have is really a combination. It's both negative and positive. They can coexist. But, the negative motivation has definetly been strong recently. And I know that the yo-yo effect can greatly decrease my over all motivation long term. That's why I use it the negative motivation to make habits. For habits, I don't need motivation really. I don't need a lot of motivation to go brush my teeth or shower for example  

[Bebop]

1 hour ago, Christian said:

To give you a bit of backstory, I was bullied a lot, never had a proper support system, got manipulated a lot in the past, was criticized for being my authentic self, indirectly told I was a piece of shit. 

And in order to function in society I've supressed this anger, fear, hurt, and apathy for the past decade. I can't get angry at people for some reason. Every time I have an intention to express anger I experience a very intense resistance. So that feeds into the whole problem because I am an easy target and people around me see that and use that to their advantage.

Sounds a lot like my backstory, personally I found it to be a strength though once I was able to work through those negative emotions because I was able to have a lot more compassion for others and built better connections with people. The anger will eventually fall away at some point because it will no longer serve you, especially if you are going to pursue enlightenment. If you are getting results with the negative motivation I'd say keep at it, but if you want to get long term results learn to trust in the intuition as that will being you where you need to be.

[Christian]

6 hours ago, Bebop said:

Sounds a lot like my backstory, personally I found it to be a strength though once I was able to work through those negative emotions because I was able to have a lot more compassion for others and built better connections with people. The anger will eventually fall away at some point because it will no longer serve you, especially if you are going to pursue enlightenment. If you are getting results with the negative motivation I'd say keep at it, but if you want to get long term results learn to trust in the intuition as that will being you where you need to be.

It's cool to see I am not alone here. Maybe the me vs the world frame is just a bunch of BS since there are others who have it similar. But hey, it works for now, and it gets me going. 

And I do believe the anger will go away at some point just like it did for you. It might just take a while because there is so much. It's like my shadow is finally creeping back up, scary but fascinating. 

[Bebop]

@Christian Yeah it was very difficult for me to get through it at times but don't be afraid to ask your higher self for help, it is always there to guide you. It took me a long time to realize this but the reason why you couldn't get angry at people is because there might be a childhood vow that you should always be nice or something along those lines. The world is never against you, that is just your ego playing tricks on you. What I've come to realize is that everything happens for a reason. one day maybe you'll see this as the greatest thing that happened to you as it did for me. Remember you are always loved by your higher self no matter how much the ego wants to play the victim role

[alyra]

go right a head and be angry. I advise being mindful of yourself whenever you can. 

[StarfoxEpiphany]

You already know it needs to change. Otherwise you wouldn't be posting

[Nahm]

On 2/18/2017 at 8:44 PM, Christian said:

To give you a bit of backstory, I was bullied a lot, never had a proper support system, got manipulated a lot in the past, was criticized for being my authentic self, indirectly told I was a piece of shit. 

And in order to function in society I've supressed this anger, fear, hurt, and apathy for the past decade. I can't get angry at people for some reason. Every time I have an intention to express anger I experience a very intense resistance. So that feeds into the whole problem because I am an easy target and people around me see that and use that to their advantage. 

But one positive aspect of this is that I use this anger to accomplish my goals and I've kind of developed this paradigm which is me vs the world. I believe the world is a place where people are assholes who are "out to get me" and that inspires me to be this arrogant  over-achiever. I've used this emotion of anger to get good grades, I'm using it now to build a meditation habit and its been going great as I've done it now for 50 days in a row now. 

So should I keep this anger? I really want to because it is a powerful tool, but I just feel like it is incongruent. It's probably negative motivation, but oh boy is it effective! I've never been more motivated to change and I sort of want to use the anger constructively to keep achieving my goals. But I can't see far here. I am unaware of the long term consequences and would like your feedback. Am I on the right track? 

Use whatever works to achieve your goals.

And the owl says....You're not hurting anybody, are you?

 

[Christian]

41 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Use whatever works to achieve your goals.

And the owl says....You're not hurting anybody, are you?

 

There is no self to be hurt lol. Now, I'm just being a total jerk and I love it lol. But to be honest @Nahm I think it's the right thing to do and I have a lot of reasons why I am angry at this very moment. It does not mean I get into a fist fight, but I acknowledge it, use it and accept it for what it is. I was in suppression-mode for 5-10 years and that was a lot worse. It fucked with my confidence and my self awareness, but now it's getting better slowly but surely

[OKO]

Do you realize what anger is? Nothing more than emotion.

Realization of emotion suggests awareness of it, right? Well, awareness requires a sense whereby it is gained. Through which "sense" is your awareness of your emotion? This "sense" is simpler than you may think. As for how to observe it... salt isn't sugar, but to the eye they are both white. Work with what you have evidence of; therefore build upon factual premise, deduce. I recommend trying to preserve the conditions (sounds, sights, tastes, smells, sensations) which are present during your emotion, so that you can observe it without error. Think deductively. The anger/emotion you have...  by means of the sense your awareness of it is by, locate it. NOW, it is simply something you've misidentified. Your misunderstanding is much like cavemen being impressed upon witnessing fire for the first time. However, if you treat emotion deductively (as with salt and sugar) you can bypass how impressing emotion is and better understand. After realizing this, I understand people far better. Movies seem to involve primitive minded, ignorant children (and the hype is easier to identify). I now know emotions aren't an aspect of your personality, they are merely what your five senses sense and what you likely misunderstand. The only reason you've associated them with your personality is because they have become quite familiar. When you experience a new "emotion" you likely get a kick out it, because you feel new and up to date, really that emotion is only something at least one of your five senses senses. Significantly changing what the five senses sense is manipulation of "emotion".

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Christian said:

There is no self to be hurt lol. Now, I'm just being a total jerk and I love it lol. But to be honest @Nahm I think it's the right thing to do and I have a lot of reasons why I am angry at this very moment. It does not mean I get into a fist fight, but I acknowledge it, use it and accept it for what it is. I was in suppression-mode for 5-10 years and that was a lot worse. It fucked with my confidence and my self awareness, but now it's getting better slowly but surely

Anger is the trickiest of all. Fist fights are Anger's smoke and mirrors. Suppression is Angers rule. 

Definition of Solution used in the lab: A solution is made when one substance dissolves into another substance.

I'm old. The first fights won't be your problem. The heart attacks, high blood pressure, strokes, eretile disfunction. That's Angers home.

Anger is the silent killer man. Don't welcome it. Anger is not a welcome friend in me.

 

 

[Elton]

@Christian i can feel you bro but the problem is a lack of a big compelling vision.

I used a lot of negative motivation in the past but the problem is that it fades away leaving you lazy and bitter. 

I am working on being motivated by the big vision I guess will have to use visualisation. 

Check out Leo's video of the vision for the actualized self I will be doing that myself.