Letting Life Fall Apart

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

I just stumbled across this video, and it seems very fitting to my current life situation.

For the longest time it seemed to me that my life is a flimsy house of cards that is bound to collapse at some point... and it seems that this point is getting really close now. The facade of more or less "having my shit together" that I've been trying so desperate to keep up all these years is noticeably crumbling. It feels like I am loosing the very ground under my feet. Everything seems to be falling apart, both internally and externally; all that crazy shit which is unfolding on a collective level in the world out there atm pretty much looks like the perfect reflection of my own private armageddon. And not only do I feel powerless to stop this personal disintegration process - it even seems like I am subconsciously fueling it with all kinds of blatantly self sabotaging behaviour.

Call it a midlife crisis, call it a dark night of the soul, call it whatever you want; all I know is that I have reached a point where I am completely at a loss. I have no clue what to do, what to think, who to turn to, where to go. It feels like I am standing on the brink of an abyss, and a faint voice is whispering in my ear, telling me to jump... and I am scared stiff. Scared of what will happen if I let go of the railing and allow myself to fall, scared of the unknown that awaits me at the bottom of the pit. - On the other hand, I also notice a kind of almost masochistic curiosity and exitement about this whole precarious situation, kind of like the ambivalent butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling that you get when you are sitting on a roller coaster and you are slowly reaching the peak of a giant lift hill, anxiously waiting for the dreaded and desired drop.

All of this makes me wonder: Can there be value in letting your life fall apart? Do I have to "lose myself in order to find myself", as the saying goes? Should I just let go of desperately trying to hold the shaky mountain of BS which I call my life together with bubble gum and duct tape and simply allow it to go to pieces in order to be able to construct a new and better one?

[Julian gabriel]

 

[hyruga]

No. That's just escapism. You are just sabotaging yourself and getting yourself further down the downward spiral.

As an analogy,let's say you have a car crash. That's like saying "oh since my car is already damaged, why don't I just bang all the cars on the road until the cars are all completely do destroyed.

Letting go and letting life falls apart are two different things. Don't be fooled by clickbait title.

 

[The0Self]

That guy legitimately knows his shit, so whatever he says is probably decent guidance.