Zero friends

[Someone here]

i genuinely don’t have any friends. at all.

usually when people say they  don’t have friends they actually do, but they only occasionally talk to them, but that’s not the case for me. i don’t have even one friend. for almost 5 years now i will go weeks without leaving my house. i don’t speak to anyone whether. I do have some online friends on Discord and Reddit but that's about it . And of course my imaginary friends in this forum .

i go days without even speaking a word. i’m so tired of it all. the only interaction i’ll have is with the person i’m staying with who i don’t even have a good relationship with and works the entire day so we don’t really ever talk. i’m so far gone that i think i’ve lost all social skills i previously had before my isolation started because i’m not speaking to other human beings. i have a severe amount of social anxiety and have for most of my life. nothing ever seems to help and i’m hopeless at this point. i hope this doesn’t sound like i’m just trying to be edgy because i swear i’m not. i don’t want to be like this whatsoever. i want to have an actual life.

[LastThursday]

Do you think the problem is solvable?

[Breakingthewall]

the first step imo is a girlfriend. someone with whom you open up completely in all aspects. find a girlfriend and open yourself to her mentally, emotionally and physically. it is not easy to find obviously, and it will not be perfect, and you will end up breaking up, but have this goal when looking for it: I want to open myself totally to someone. 

once you fully open up to someone, you will be able to open up to others more easily. but now it is very difficult.

[Ulax]

Hey dude, would recommend the book how to win friends and influence people.

Maybe some therapy could help you out too.

[Someone here]

27 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

Do you think the problem is solvable?

 I'm not sure .

10 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

the first step imo is a girlfriend. someone with whom you open up completely in all aspects. find a girlfriend and open yourself to her mentally, emotionally and physically. it is not easy to find obviously, and it will not be perfect, and you will end up breaking up, but have this goal when looking for it: I want to open myself totally to someone. 

once you fully open up to someone, you will be able to open up to others more easily. but now it is very difficult.

Why does it seem so unbearably difficult to get a girlfriend these days?

I just don’t get it anymore. It’s bizarre that anywhere I go I constantly see guys with girlfriends/wives & a lot of the time these women are attractive. But it just seems like no one even bothers to talk to one another anymore unless they know them already. Online dating is a huge disaster unless you have an amazing job or top tier looks. So what is it that women are even looking for these days? Why is it so difficult yet I always constantly see people together. It’s like I feel like I’m in some sort of Matrix or something where things are just meant to happen for others when I’m not around. Yet I never ever see anyone get asked out in person or anything. If it’s so difficult how do so many people find it so easy? I’ve heard of people getting out of relationships than finding another in like 3 weeks time. I just don’t get it at all.

3 minutes ago, Ulax said:

Hey dude, would recommend the book how to win friends and influence people.

Maybe some therapy could help you out too.

Thanks bro ?. 

[Shawn Philips]

You dont have friends because you dont want to? Or you are socially unskilled to create new bonds with friends?Or do you have social phobia and shyness when socilizing?

[Sincerity]

I'm sorry dude. 

I assume you're not working? Or studying? It'd certainly help to just be around people somehow. You can't make friends if you don't meet people.

If you REALLY don't want your life to be like this, then change it! Let your current feelings be the fuel for change.

"I do NOT want to feel like this, so I am gonna do whatever it takes to change it! I'm gonna meet new people, talk with them and have fun because I WANT this. And soon enough I'll have new friends that I like". Go out and enjoy it. INTERACT with people. You can do it with baby steps, like asking for the time or something.

Respect yourself. If this situation is making you miserable, then you HAVE to find ways to change it, because you CAN'T let yourself feel this way. Out of respect and love for yourself!

You want to have an actual life? THEN COME AND GET IT!

One last thing: you're gonna make it. Even if it seems hopeless, everything is going to be okay. Have faith! The Universe WILL help you along the way. YOU ARE GONNA MAKE IT.

You deserve to be loved.

[Breakingthewall]

9 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Why does it seem so unbearably difficult to get a girlfriend these days?

It's difficult for you.  many people are very superficial and seek relationships based on superficiality and they work well for them, they find a partner with great ease. they look for some requirements, in turn they fulfill other requirements, and everything goes fast. other people are naturally very open and connect easily with others. all women are almost desperately looking for a partner, so it's not difficult. But don't think about them, focus on yourself. If I were you, I would forget if she is attractive, if she is this or that. I would look for the connection. it's vital to you, or you're going to get buried. if what you are looking for is someone to provide you with things, I am afraid that in your case it will not work. I would say that your path is to learn generosity. look for someone to give yourself to. that is the true path to openness to others. if not, you will always be locked up. 

[ndm678]

Here are some things that helped me when I moved to a new city.

I bought a ukulele and joined a uke club. It was relatively easy to play and the club was a good place to meet new people.

I joined a game playing group. We got together and played random board/card games a couple times a week. It was fun and a good place to talk to new people.

I joined toastmasters. Once you get comfortable giving speeches in front of people, interactions with anyone is easy.

@Ulax is spot on. Read that book over and over. I suggest Declare War On Yourself by Marc Summers.

Online dating sucks, but it can be fun to play with, just don't put much faith in it. The stuff mentioned above will drastically help meeting women in real life.

Good Luck, sir. You got this

[mr_engineer]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

i want to have an actual life.

Why do you want to have an actual life? Most of it is shallow bullshit anyways. Mostly pointless. 

It's a serious question. Because if you wanted it, you'd have it. And nothing is really stopping you from having a 'normal life'. As far as that's concerned, you're standing on the shoulders of giants. 

The root of the issue here is that you don't know what you want. The thing about 'wanting a normal life' is actually conditioning. And what you gotta focus on, is figuring out what you want. And exploring the world to know what exists out there and what your options are. 

[Leo Gura]

Step #1: move to a cool city with nice nightlife or social scene.

Step #2: Force yourself to go out and socialize at least every Fri & Sat.

Do this every week for several years like clockwork, don't quit or make excuses, and your problem will be solved.

[Molaric]

22 minutes ago, Ragib Ashraf said:

Bro this may sound fucked up but I actually get kinda motivated by your posts because you frequently complain about a bunch of shit and it just reminds me that I can't end up like that and I have to go out there and solve this shit. 

Just look at our mans Leo. He went from Russian nerd loser to dmt smoking millionaire boss player who fucks plenty bad bitches galore. It's possible dude. It ain't happening by consulting random strangers online all the time

Based

[NoSelfSelf]

@Breakingthewall girlfriends are not therapist 

[The0Self]

11 hours ago, Someone here said:

i genuinely don’t have any friends. at all.

usually when people say they  don’t have friends they actually do, but they only occasionally talk to them, but that’s not the case for me. i don’t have even one friend. for almost 5 years now i will go weeks without leaving my house. i don’t speak to anyone whether. I do have some online friends on Discord and Reddit but that's about it . And of course my imaginary friends in this forum .

i go days without even speaking a word. i’m so tired of it all. the only interaction i’ll have is with the person i’m staying with who i don’t even have a good relationship with and works the entire day so we don’t really ever talk. i’m so far gone that i think i’ve lost all social skills i previously had before my isolation started because i’m not speaking to other human beings. i have a severe amount of social anxiety and have for most of my life. nothing ever seems to help and i’m hopeless at this point. i hope this doesn’t sound like i’m just trying to be edgy because i swear i’m not. i don’t want to be like this whatsoever. i want to have an actual life.

I have friends now, after a long period with practically none, following the loss of many good friendships that I took for granted — spent all my energy on a spiritual quest that was requiring everything I had.

What did I do to start from the ground up again? Just went out to bars and clubs solo on weekends and started being more social and seizing opportunities whenever possible, always pushing a bit past my comfort zone.

Edited October 10, 2022 by The0Self

[Breakingthewall]

5 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Breakingthewall girlfriends are not therapist 

You are right, my advice was too selfish. But when you're in a situation of isolation that can be perpetuated, you have to get out of there no matter what. if you are there, you will not get out easily, you have to use any means at your disposal

[Breakingthewall]

7 hours ago, Ragib Ashraf said:

He went from Russian nerd loser to dmt smoking millionaire boss player who fucks plenty bad bitches galore

????

[Leo Gura]

If I was fucking bitches galore, I wouldn't be having all these awakenings.

[integral]

Try signing up to activities you enjoy To meet people with similar interests and to have a place to hang out (outside of your house), 
like a chess club or Martial arts…

The trick with good friends is you need weekly or monthly physical contact and meet ups to nurture the connection.

Edited October 10, 2022 by integral

[vindicated erudite]

14 hours ago, Someone here said:

i genuinely don’t have any friends. at all.

usually when people say they  don’t have friends they actually do, but they only occasionally talk to them, but that’s not the case for me. i don’t have even one friend. for almost 5 years now i will go weeks without leaving my house. i don’t speak to anyone whether. I do have some online friends on Discord and Reddit but that's about it . And of course my imaginary friends in this forum .

i go days without even speaking a word. i’m so tired of it all. the only interaction i’ll have is with the person i’m staying with who i don’t even have a good relationship with and works the entire day so we don’t really ever talk. i’m so far gone that i think i’ve lost all social skills i previously had before my isolation started because i’m not speaking to other human beings. i have a severe amount of social anxiety and have for most of my life. nothing ever seems to help and i’m hopeless at this point. i hope this doesn’t sound like i’m just trying to be edgy because i swear i’m not. i don’t want to be like this whatsoever. i want to have an actual life.

Find reasons in your life to depend on someone else to fulfil in your life and in return you should do the same for that person with their unique needs that need to be fulfilled, that's how you create meaningful friendships. For example, you want some motivation to become a better bodybuilder look around social groups that focus on bodybuilding such as conventions, specialist gyms, competitions etc. 

Edited October 10, 2022 by vindicated erudite

[John Iverson]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Step #1: move to a cool city with nice nightlife or social scene.

Step #2: Force yourself to go out and socialize at least every Fri & Sat.

Do this every week for several years like clockwork, don't quit or make excuses, and your problem will be solved.

Is it okay Leo if i go out in Saturdays and Sundays? Because my kind of work is nightshift. I cannot go out in friday because i will be working at 9pm to 9am. I will work as a call center agent which will give me decent money to buy stuffs. No time but it will atleast boothstrap me to buy your courses, and other things. 

And oh! I will take this chance to ask you this. Can you give me suggestions, and advice where should i invest my money?