How to be more masculine as a man ?

[Breakingthewall]

8 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Slight correction - fictional woman 

 

10 hours ago, hoodrow trillson said:

 

True, fictional, because we the humans are deeply stupid and we have created a society so stupid, narcissistic and empty that it only produces vain egomaniacs with perpetual maturational delay. women by nature are wonderful and happy, but they are full of shit, insecurity, neurosis, falsehood, false expectations, tons of idiocy. more than men, which is saying a lot. Be a woman seems to be really difficult 

[Gesundheit2]

35 minutes ago, KH2 said:

Instead of describing a woman, you might just have described yourself

[Gesundheit2]

@Someone here Forget about this masculinity BS. You don't need it. You don't need to know how to fix stuff. Who convinced you that you do? You just need to know how to act confidently and take action when stuff gets broken. When you see someone from afar, you immediately recognize their gender from the way they're dressed and then you assume levels of masculinity/femininity based on that. When you see a male dressed up like a man, the default assumption is that he is a manly man. He doesn't need any further proof that he is manly. The only way to debunk his masculinity is by acting insecure or feminine.

Anyway, there are two phases in attracting a partner:

1. Getting familiar and building rapport.
2. Showing sexual intent and escalating to sexual encounter.

You can't reach 2 if you're failing at 1, because it builds on top of it.

So step 1 is: Make sure you're presenting yourself as someone who's safe and relaxing to be around. Don't be nervous. Don't look like a serial killer. Don't say stupid stuff. Just be yourself.

And before you start hating me for saying that, I will give you some specific things you can do personally. You are passionate about philosophy, right? Express that passion. Say it explicitly, "I love philosophy, because...". That'll make you feel comfortable in your skin by simply being yourself, it will make you look smart, and it will show that you're confident all at the same time. The rule is very simple, pick one or more of your strengths, and flaunt them in a non-egoic way. Ignore your weaknesses in this particular context, girls don't need to know them.

And then after you make sure the girl is comfortable around you, move on to phase 2 and start giving sexual signals. But don't take this as a Bible. Most of the times, you will find that the two phases are one phase in practice, and that they're happening concurrently and in parallel. For example, when you say something about philosophy, and you notice she is interested, bounce the ball to her court and ask her about what she thinks. In the meantime, touch her and/or move close to her at least once without creeping her out. Then make some teasing comment by mentioning a differing perspective (that shouldn't be hard for you if you have read a lot). Then leave it at that, and start another thread (could be philosophical, but preferably something else, ideally just talk about a variety of topics in general). Rinse and repeat, and you will notice the sexual tension is building. If you do everything right, she will like you, and will go out on another date. And depending on the girl, it will only be a matter of time until you're having sex.

Edited October 10, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Someone here]

Thanks everyone for the advice.  I sincerely appreciate it .

Although I wanna add an additional note that I've  realized within me about this whole balancing feminine VS masculine.  I'm not in touch with neither my masculine side nor my feminine side . I'm kinda in the middle.  It’s difficult to describe. It's the similar to Asexual people. They are not attracted to anything regarding sex.

Also, Men have become more feminine as a result of new wave societal ideology. The radical me too movement has brought in irrational notions such as toxic masculinity and since most men these days don’t have a backbone believe it and fall into this by being agreeable.

The fact of the matter is, if you stand your ground and have an opinion, women will respect you more, even the radical me too’s.

No matter what women say, they are not attracted to anything but masculine men. Women are feminine by nature and want to remain feminine and submissive. So no women would like to date a coward like me .

[Tyler Robinson]

4 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

True, fictional, because we the humans are deeply stupid and we have created a society so stupid, narcissistic and empty that it only produces vain egomaniacs with perpetual maturational delay. women by nature are wonderful and happy, but they are full of shit, insecurity, neurosis, falsehood, false expectations, tons of idiocy. more than men, which is saying a lot. Be a woman seems to be really difficult 

Yea exactly. That's what I meant. It seems like it's a garb that women develop over time because society doesn't give them enough love same way society has incels, rapists, exploitative players, deceitful guys, unhappy toxic males etc because their needs are unmet so they develop behaviors as a coping mechanism so we blame their character, shame them, mock them instead of understanding the reasons behind their behaviors. Easy to shame and mock. Difficult to understand. Same goes with women's behaviors. Instead of blaming the person, it's about owning that this is what our society is and many are left with unmet needs and of course trauma. The objective is to not hate, shame or criticize or put down someone for their character flaws but to turn your Masculinity and take charge and embrace the flaws of the opposite sex (this is a part of your abundance as a male) where you give room for someone imperfect to get love from you. It's called being non-judgmental and showing compassion. This part of your Masculinity makes you a strong person. It shows your capacity to love a woman who is not perfect. A boy will judge a slut. Laugh at her. A man will love a slut. That's the difference. 

We don't become our best selves by pairing with someone who is perfect. In fact our best selves are tested, challenged and displayed even created when we are paired with someone who is not perfect. That's how God is testing our love. It's always easy to love someone who is perfect. It's always easy to see beauty in something that is already beautiful. But we don't become strong in life by facing easy situations. It's the harder things that make us stronger. It's the challenging things that  bring out the best in us. 

This also applies to femininity. if a woman always stayed with a perfect man, what will she gain for herself? But if she stayed with an asshole, her capacity to understand and forgive will improve, maybe she will even fall in love with an incel or a violent person, maybe her love will make him a better person 

 

This situation already happened in my life. My ex was a brutal player violent asshole kind of a person. He used to have deep anger issues towards women because he wasn't loved as a child. But when I came into his life, instead of judging him as a violent person or an asshole, I decided to show him compassion and forgiveness and show him my love and trust, and within like a year, he was a changed man, my love had transformed him to be less hateful towards women, he became less angry, his anger was the lowest level from the time I had met him, he was not completely changed but a significant drop in his anger or violent behavior and he wanted to turn his life and work harder to make it better. 

I realized that he needed love. If I had judged him as an imperfect guy and left him and if all women had done the same, he would have probably hated himself all his life and never found the love to cure his anger. He would have always been bitter towards women for rejecting him. But my love helped him to cure his inner bitterness. He felt good and he thanked me for being by his side when none of his exes or family would support him. 

For me it was a lesson in growth as well because my capacity to non judgementally understand the other person grew exponentially, I became aware that love can heal and my heart became bigger. This is not to say that you should be in a toxic relationship, of course, if it's toxic you must leave, but I'm just saying that growth does not always happen in a comfortable environment, you have to deal with challenging situations to have that growth. In fact your most growth will come from your deepest most confusing experiences in life. 

To be able to love a man who wasn't perfect, I was able to be more compassionate and in some ways that only added to my femininity. It made me more loving and more feminine. 

That's why dark traits in the opposite sex are not always an indicator that you should just dump a person, but you can also heal them by understanding their situation and by showing them love. And that can also add to your masculinity/femininity.

For example, I've seen men who are with girlfriends that aren't perfect, let's say she is the type who is always full of shit, what I have observed is that such men have greater depth and generosity and maturity in their attitude and they are also able to have a fulfilling relationship because they aren't constantly complaining about their partner, they are able to integrate their own shadows of judgment and understand the reasons why their partner acts a certain way, and this understanding itself becomes a solid foundation to the relationship, because she is grateful that he is giving her so much room in the relationship despite her obvious flaws and that makes her admire, value, trust and respect him even more. She sees him as a stronger masculine figure who is not being mad at her but instead able to trust her and work with her which other judgemental guys won't offer her, this man appears stronger to her and he appears as someone that she can rely on and learn from to become a better person, someone who can lead her and guide her  in a good direction , also someone who can actually handle her, also someone that she now has to prove herself to, since he showed her trust, in a way that it becomes her responsibility to respect that trust, which also puts the onus on her to behave better as an obligation to continue to earn and keep his trust and respect. 

 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

4 hours ago, KH2 said:

Instead of describing a woman, you might just have described yourself

@KH2 I'm putting you on my ignore list forever  because I really don't appreciate what you did there. And I have no time for resolutions. So Goodluck. 

I'm informing you so that you won't be too surprised when you don't get replies from me. We are done here. Please don't bother anymore. 

No time to deal with your bullshit. 

Ahhhhhhh freedom!!!!! Sincerely have a good day! 

 

 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[spiritual memes]

Be the father you wished you had

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Tyler Robinson said:

We don't become our best selves by pairing with someone who is perfect

Not perfect but with a real will to love and to give oneself. if not, why waste time with closed people who will only generate unhappiness and pain around them?

[Tyler Robinson]

9 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Not perfect but with a real will to love and to give oneself. if not, why waste time with closed people who will only generate unhappiness and pain around them?

Of course. I didn't mean someone who is not willing to be loved or give back love in return. I meant not so perfect flawed people who are still wanting to give and receive love. 

I have caveats for this sort of thing - I have discussed the caveats in my journal here - if you have to be with a person who is flawed then they need to fulfill certain criteria, requirements or conditions. 

 

 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[petar8p]

1 hour ago, Tyler Robinson said:

@KH2 I'm putting you on my ignore list forever  because I really don't appreciate what you did there. And I have no time for resolutions. So Goodluck. 

I'm informing you so that you won't be too surprised when you don't get replies from me. We are done here. Please don't bother anymore. 

No time to deal with your bullshit. 

Ahhhhhhh freedom!!!!! Sincerely have a good day! 

He just made a suggestion. Why did it hurt so much? 

[Tyler Robinson]

4 minutes ago, petar8p said:

He just made a suggestion. Why did it hurt so much? 

No that was a personal attack. It was humiliation/shaming my character. Sorry I don't wish to talk about it any further. And I don't expect you to understand my feelings here. 

 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[LastThursday]

On 10/10/2022 at 11:23 AM, Someone here said:

No matter what women say, they are not attracted to anything but masculine men.

Do you want to be more attractive to women? Or is there another reason for wanting to be more masculine?

[Ulax]

I'd look into Manuel Smith's When I say no I feel guilty

Plus, David Deida's Way of the superior man

I personally think a lot of masculinity is about being assertive. I think it important to note that is different from being entitled.

Edited October 11, 2022 by Ulax