Is cold approach really the best strategy in college?

[thenondualtankie]

The best strategy for getting laid, that is (this is Leo's forum, what else would it be?).

I feel like cold approach shouldn't be your main strategy in a college campus environment when you are a student of that college.

Either way, honestly cold approach during daytime is too jarring for me at the moment, so whatever you guys say I'm gonna be trying other strategies for now anyway.

[something_else]

Mate if you are in college just start going out to parties, making friends. You have it so easy with just a tiny little bit of effort.

Don't go about spam approaching girls during the day, just try to make friends who you can do fun shit with, have a little confidence, talk to some girls, and you'll get laid easy.

[Phil King]

Cold approach is viable if you go to a huge school with like 30,000+ people. However, The best way ive found to meet girls in college is social circle game and going to mutual interest groups. Yoga classes, sports groups, art groups, etc are all great places to meet girls. Look on your colleges website to see events and just go with intent to talk to and meet people

[thenondualtankie]

@Phil King How direct should you be with the girls you meet in these groups?

[thenondualtankie]

@something_else Lol if only I was actually invited to some parties, or if I knew enough people to invite to a party. COVID-19 really screwed up my university experience. I'm in my third year and I only know like 10-15% of the people on my course.

I really hope I push myself this year and build a social life I'm happy with.

[Phil King]

6 minutes ago, thenondualtankie said:

 How direct should you be with the girls you meet in these groups?

You dont have to be super direct if you know your gonna see her again like in class or something. You can slowly build and then once youve built some comfort you can go for number close and show intent. For cold approach or a girl at a party, you need to be pretty direct. 

These vids helped

6 minutes ago, thenondualtankie said:

I'm in my third year and I only know like 10-15% of the people on my course.

I just transferred to a new school with 40,000+ people and knew nobody, also in my third year. I wouldnt really judge your success by how many people you know in your class, but rather the depth of those relationships. I met a shit ton of people in my first couple weeks, and i barely speak to 95% of them because i just didnt vibe with them. 1 high quality relationship > 1000 shitty friends/girlfriends

[something_else]

24 minutes ago, thenondualtankie said:

@something_else Lol if only I was actually invited to some parties, or if I knew enough people to invite to a party. COVID-19 really screwed up my university experience. I'm in my third year and I only know like 10-15% of the people on my course.

I really hope I push myself this year and build a social life I'm happy with.

Mate I lost my last two years of uni to covid and my first two to a shitty relationship, my biggest regret is not getting more involved in uni social stuff while I could. Get yourself into a flat with some flat mates or join your uni accommodation. It forces you to meet people who do fun shit

Ask the people you do know where they’re going out and ask if you can come along, I know it’s scary but you’ll be surprised how likely they are to say yes

Edited October 7, 2022 by something_else

[Leo Gura]

The best place to practice day game is at the mall.

[Raze]

No. You do not want a reputation as the cold approach guy.

Use social circle game, it is very powerful.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCqSLeQGWCU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuUPdPov0K4

[Raze]

5 hours ago, KH2 said:

This "social circle game" bullshit is so overrated.

If you are in a location you have to go back to, social circle is better. You can’t afford to get blown out and approach tons of women unless they are strangers in high volume environments.

You are also more likely to get a hotter girl or a girl you have a better connection with in social circle because it is more based on shared interest and you can more easily boost your attractiveness with preselection and social proof.

Edited October 7, 2022 by Raze

[Axiomatic]

The thing about all this is the intention imo

Cold approaching in itself isn't bad or ineffective. But in my experience my cold approaches go better when I am naturally interacting with people and simply being open.

I go to the cafe to read and write and enjoy myself. I might see a girl there and say something. I met a girl working at a gas station when I went to get gas. She was very open to talking to me from her tone and body language. We chatted about school and I got her number. 

When I was younger, I would try to plan this stuff out and strategize. And that just made it a 'thing'. I wasn't talking to girls because I enjoyed it, I was doing it to "fix something" with myself or to prove myself worth, or to get a dopamine rush from validation. 

It's the same with a social circle. Yeah, it would help a lot to meet women that way. But get in a social circle based on your interest with the intention of enjoying life and making connections. Making it apart of your plot sabotages the entire purpose of socializing. At least for me.

Edited October 8, 2022 by Axiomatic

[Federico del pueblo]

@thenondualtankie your best strategy for college is being social.

Get to know as many people as possible. Maybe join some social activity (sports, language, going to student's events), maybe even join some group of people that organize events themselves, like the students that organize parties for other students.

Go to the student's/college parties or whatever you have.

If your city has a nightlife independent from college then obviously you can go there too and do cold approach and attain skills that'll then help you in the more social circle-ish college environment.

If it's a bigger city you can do a bit of daygame too (outside of college).

Mostly it should be about becoming one of the more popular kids on the campus, networking etc.

And check out the vids.

Edit:

And once you know a handful of cool people you should go out with them (bars or college parties), so you already have people to talk to, like a group you can bounce back to. So you party with your people, be as much fun as possible and then you just do a classic cold approach every once in a while, from your group (like a girl walks by your group and you're like "hey, wait a minute...who are you? Haha you're kinda cute, come here, HI! I'm the nondualtankie! Nice to meet you Denise! You seem...like trouble in an adorable way " and so on.

On your way to the toilet or to other people you know you can always squeeze in a quick cold approach and then you take the girl with you to your friends or join her friends for a moment and merge the groups if possible.

 

 

 

 

Edited October 8, 2022 by Federico del pueblo

[Roy]

You shouldn't even have to "practice" or "strategize" at college. You are literally surrounded by thousands of ovulating horny girls who are away from home for the first time in their lives.

You should not be thinking or planning anything, or talking about it on this forum ffs! Start talking to as many girls as you can or as often as you have the energy for it. Some will probably end up in your bed accidently.

I pulled a girl in college simply from looking at her, and I'm just average looking. If I can do it, you can do it too.

[Federico del pueblo]

@KH2 but you can't simply run around on a small college campus doing daygame for hours in a direct manner, especially if you're still hopelessly awkward at it.

In college it's actually good to do social circle game for this reason. You can still mesh some cold approach on top of the social circle stuff, but then it will look like you're that cool guys who knows a lot of people already and just also talks to strangers if he feels like it.

And everybody has to start somewhere, so of course the making friends parts can already be a bit difficult too, but it's just easier to first do some general socializing compared to walking from one hot stranger girl to the next and having man to woman interaction not being on some huge campus.

@Roy wow, so moralising and such strong "shoulds". I honestly would have benefited massively from the kind of knowledge discussed e.g. here on the forums in my own university time. This stuff can still make it much easier even if you already have the most conducive environment.

I think it's a good think that the op asks for advice here.

[Leo Gura]

30 minutes ago, Roy said:

Start talking to as many girls as you can or as often as you have the energy for it. Some will probably end up in your bed accidently.

Oh, so you mean doing pickup?

[Roy]

10 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

This stuff can still make it much easier even if you already have the most conducive environment.

Perhaps, but I think a lot of it can be harmful. Getting stuck in mental masturbation and worrying about doing the "right things". All the while that time and energy has passed when you could have been taking action. People usually only go to college once in their life.

When the environment is perfect you don't really need to optimize any strategies. Strategies are for when your environment sucks and you need to somehow extract results.

[Roy]

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Oh, so you mean doing pickup?

No lol.... and yes. The thing I don't like about "pick-up" is we know the topic is a separate deliberate thing that men do, compared to the more natural unconscious interactions that happen.

Would you say the average guys that get in relationships and ask women out with no knowledge of the study or culture of pick-up, are practicing it?

If we don't differentiate or have a colloquial word then the whole concept seems kind of meaningless. It's just interacting with women with extra steps.

Edited October 8, 2022 by Roy

[Federico del pueblo]

15 minutes ago, Roy said:

Perhaps, but I think a lot of it can be harmful. Getting stuck in mental masturbation and worrying about doing the "right things". All the while that time and energy has passed when you could have been taking action. People usually only go to college once in their life.

When the environment is perfect you don't really need to optimize any strategies. Strategies are for when your environment sucks and you need to somehow extract results.

Sure. Overtheorizing can definitely happen and it's even more likely for the typical anxious guy that hasn't had success with women yet.

Though, we also have to consider that a guy who asks this kind of question on here probably already has problems and will tend to be socially anxious and anxious with girls and is struggling even though he already has the best environment (in this particular case of the op).

So something needs to improve.

He surely needs to "just take action" and meet lots of people, but if he also receives a bit of specific "how to" advice here and there I think it won't hurt, assuming that he actually does take action in the real world and doesn't first need to have a few hundred questions answered before he's gonna say "hello" to somebody ?

[Tudo]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The best place to practice day game is at the mall.

I will try it.

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Roy said:

No lol.... and yes. The thing I don't like about "pick-up" is we know the topic is a separate deliberate thing that men do, compared to the more natural unconscious interactions that happen.

Would you say the average guys that get in relationships and ask women out with no knowledge of the study or culture of pick-up, are practicing it?

If we don't differentiate or have a colloquial word then the whole concept seems kind of meaningless. It's just interacting with women with extra steps.

Of course I know exactly what you mean.

My point is simply that pickup just boils down to forcing yourself to approach and talk to girls. The rest is petty details.

It is a mistake to hold pickup as some secret scheme that you execute between the hours of 2pm and 4pm every Thursday in order to manipulate a few unsuspecting targets into sleeping with you.

You can approach pickup that way, but my suggestion is that you shouldn't.

Edited October 8, 2022 by Leo Gura