What Would You Do In My Shoes?

[Endew]

Im 26 and (A)never had sex or a girlfriend. And (B) my life is not together, Im bascially a 17 year old boy. It seems like when i focus on A my postion in life doesn't move. On the flip side it's hard to focus on B when all i think about is A. What would you do in my shoes?

[Anicko]

I would get my ass in gear asap. And I say this with absolute love. 

You need to stop believing you are 'basically a 17 year old boy' because, duh, you are clearly not. 

You don't have to stay stuck just because of your reality right now. You have to stop believing stupid lies your ego character tells you. Then you'll start seeing doors to try opening. Best wishes. 

[Lynnel]

@Endew Learn pick-up, spent like 1 hour a day for it to geet moving with A. At the same time fix whatever issues you have with B since A is being taken care of.

[Jecht Spencer]

Realize your shit is not together.

Find out what your goals in health, wealth, and relationships are.

Take action to completing those goals. Realize you have to take 100% responsibility for your life.

Nobody is going to do it for you.

Hit the gym at least 4x a week. Drink a gallon of water a day. Clean up your diet.

Save 10% of your income and pay off all your debts. Flow towards your dream career.

Talk to 5 girls a day as you go about your daily routine. There is no way to getting better with women other then going out and talking to women.

Realize that you will suck when you first start... it may take you years to get good at this. But hey a few years for a lifelong success with women? Why not?

Just remember. Take 100% responsibility for everything that happens to you.

You are not a victim. You are a man. Living in the greatest time in human history.

Start hustling and leave your mark.

Edited February 12, 2016 by Jecht Spencer

[Santiago]

The reason why you are stuck in life is probably because you have a cocktail of: negative self-image + negative habits + negative mindsets/beliefs.

I'm in the same situation and it all boils down to those things. If you are totally unaware of your inner thoughts and processes and why they happen, where they come from, etc. then going to a psychologist will surely help. I will do so starting this month.

 

You are 27, I'm 24, we are still young enough to reverse this situation.

[AJ]

You not getting your shit together is one reason you never had a girlfriend. So focus on building a personality cause any day a girl is more likely to prefer a person who has his shit together, who has a purpose in everything he does. And not having a girlfriend isn't a problem, on the other hand having one is a very big problem, so be happy. And get your shit together. 

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

I would go do pick up. Start meditate. Learn self-actualization like professional. Throw all my stupid shitty friends out the window and get new onec how are positive, push me and have similar goals that I have.

[DanoDMano]

4 hours ago, Endew said:

Im 26 and (A)never had sex or a girlfriend. And (B) my life is not together, Im bascially a 17 year old boy. It seems like when i focus on A my postion in life doesn't move. On the flip side it's hard to focus on B when all i think about is A. What would you do in my shoes?

@Endew Not having sex or a girlfriend is secondary. It's not important and should not have a bearing on your life. What you don't mention in this post is your interests. What do you presently do with your time? What are your interests? What are you good at? You have to be good at something. Start there. If all you think about is sex (is this what you mean by A?) then you need to tell yourself to stop, it's inhibiting your life's journey. Trust me, sex and intimacy isn't all it's cracked up to be. Your daydreaming about how great it must be, because you've never experienced it (in real life).

Change your way of thinking. Find other interests. I'm sure if you put as much effort into those, as you put into your sexual frustrations, you'd find a lot more success and fulfillment in (B), and over time, the confidence in yourself will increase substantially and then these relationships you crave will naturally develop with little to know effort. Find your purpose first (and it's not women), that rest will fall into place. Good luck. 

[dystopia]

First step is to learn to love yourself unconditionally. Then you'll become your favorite person and your bestie and you will want you to succeed. From there you will develop your hobbies and interests and find your motivation to get your life together. I'm right there with you but I actually kinda had the opposite experience...sort of. I'm 26 and my life is crap because of sex and intimacy (I guess) because I was with an abusive ex-husband so that fucked me up. I'd kind of rather be in your position lol. Then again, I do value the insight & wisdom that my experiences (however unpleasant) have given me. One of them includes: you do not need anybody to make you happy. A healthy relationship  (the best kind) is between two people who are independent and happy by themselves but choose to be together not out of neediness, but out of genuine respect, love, and desire. 

[Endew]

7 hours ago, Anicko said:

I would get my ass in gear asap. And I say this with absolute love. 

You need to stop believing you are 'basically a 17 year old boy' because, duh, you are clearly not. 

You don't have to stay stuck just because of your reality right now. You have to stop believing stupid lies your ego character tells you. Then you'll start seeing doors to try opening. Best wishes. 

Thanks for the advice , my only fear is my inexperience will scare them away