___ b____my linguistic tapestry and random musings

[Tyler Robinson]

I've constantly, more often than not, fallen off the wagon. 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm so addicted to writing and I love to remain to myself. 

There's a certain flow, a release, giving up, that comes with writing down my own thoughts and perhaps there might have been some interruption somewhere, interesting, maybe the world I had always been looking for, is right here and I couldn't see it, everything eventually unfolds in a weird way. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 I'm not at all surprised by whatever I see. 

Like nothing about humanity or people surprises me anymore, the same backbiting games, the same ego shtick. 

I don't think the forum is such a good place for me after all. Time to let it go at least sometimes, as much as I like talking to people, some part of it due to my own lack and self isolation for some time, it does give me that dopamine hit, that craving to talk to people, due to lack of human contact, but how much is too much, how much is where you begin to realize intuitively that this is all destructive, it's mind boggling, the mind always craves something that isn't good for the body, I've been watching this entire gamut of human games (without any tethering) almost for an entire year now, beginning 2021, I must say it wasn't that severe back then, it was a bit lame to a certain extent, and then came 2022, a lot changed since the month of March, rather dramatically, until then much was passive, and then I realized that I was breathing some poisonous gas but I was in too deep to find the escape route, and things came to a boiling point, head to head, ear to ear, everything felt much more real, it wasn't just letters on the screen by then, shit went too deep and it was too late to do anything about it, I was left wondering what was left to salvage anymore out of the putrid mess, and yes it was a groundbreaking thing, a watershed moment for me, I had to cut my own wings and break the chains at last. Come out of the whole mess in one piece and put back all the broken pieces together, let them mold in the furnace and give me the energy to fly back to my safe spot. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Now that I have gotten myself out of that formidable situation (a sticky messy one), I have suddenly gotten my wings back again, I feel much more agile than before, the cure to all suffering, imagined or real, that is, it's only here, right here, as these words escape my  lips, they heal my heart, nothing stops you/me from thinking what I want to think, in the privacy of my mind, this is a little secret, a place nobody can destroy, maybe this is the greatest Buddha-ian truth for all time, you never have to go anywhere, you never have to do anything extra, like Tao Te Ching says, everything finds its own rhythm if you stick to it hard enough. 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

So basically it all comes down to this

- singing your own  merry tune even if nobody is listening. 

- Find a healing space in your own brain 

- finally cracking the code to suffering 

- solace and comfort in one's expression. After all even the devil can't stop that one. 

- going on and on, on what the heart wants. I will call this the heart song. 

- cutting chords is the best thing I ever did 

 

 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

Boiling it down to - 

• Having Self Compassion in all Situations big or small 
• Venting as much as possible
• Focusing on honest self expression 
• Invoking the joy within through exploration and writing. Different avenues of positive engagement 
• Cultivating a beautiful garden in the mind and heart
• Gain emotional mastery. Your voice is your power. Your words are your power. Your fluent expression is your power. Everyone can inhibit public expression. But nobody can inhibit personal expression 
• Seek solace in personal expression and Vulnerability. 
• The solution lies in self expression and not in communication 
• A tactful way with words 
• Positive engagement - writing about alternative stuff that captivates your interest like ancient cultures. 
• Negative engagement - being completely honest with self, psychoemotional processing of current and past garbage, incineration, Vulnerability, not being hesitant in saying things frankly, venting and throwing it out of the system, letting out all the hurt and pain bottled up inside, throwing out all the anger and frustration and not holding it in, giving back if anyone abused/mistreated me  and not swallowing it, retaliating it as much as possible and not absorbing other's asshole behavior and rudeness, clap back at unnecessary shaming and throwing it out, not guilting myself for no fault of my own.