___ b____cognizance

[Tyler Robinson]

Why did I even add a b? 

Shut the fuck asshole. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

 

On 9/21/2022 at 10:03 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

 

I've to constantly remind myself why I was on this forum? 

I'm here for my work. Although things tend to distract me every time I'm here. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 9:02 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

 

 

I'm enjoying being on the forum but I won't be on the forum anymore. It is a waste of my time. Although I learn a lot in terms of growth. It makes me unnecessarily chatting and I end up popping up everywhere. 

Now I realize why I attract so much attention and why I become famous. I pop up everywhere. Because I have autism and low impulse control. It makes me feel lured into distracting stuff much faster and easier than it does others. 

I also have low self awareness

And I'm addicted to talking to Ieo simply because I enjoy talking with him. Which is bad because after a while I simply cannot be on the forum without talking to Leo. 

It becomes an addiction. 

My relationship with Leo and the forum 

 

Stuff has gotta change. I mean Leo is addicted to the forum

 

 

 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 11:44 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

This forum was a bad experience overall. 

So I don't give a fuck anymore 

 

I'm better off without it. 

It's mixed with some bad experiences for me and all sorts of shit that happened. 

I know I shouldn't impact myself with the hate from other people. A few bad apples ruin the whole show.

But whatever. There's negative vibe here. 

Also how there's no authenticity here. Everything is showmanship and ego games and I should not be a part of the dirt. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 0:21 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

Rot in hell. 

Rot in hell. 

I actually want him to rot in here. Interestingly his own choices are his demise. 

I pray he never gets peace. Done. My line is Final..

By fucking with me you're fucking with the wrong person dude.. Barking the wrong tree. I'm too powerful. You can do nothing. You are shit. 

Seeing him rot will be a joy to my heart. Sociopaths and psychopaths deserve that fate. 

Calling upon his own bad karma. 

He will rot in hell. 

This place will become hell for sociopaths. I hope so. Good job. 

Of course nobody likes hell.

But hell is what you will deserve. 

Oh my blood is on the wall. 

 

And on the oath of my blood, suffer and rot in hell. 

My blood spell for him 

 

 

Rot in hell. Your bad karma is that you never get peace. You did wrong to someone 

Wrong will happen to you. 

 

 

Goodluck 

 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 2:49 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

There's so much laziness here. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 3:55 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

I don't give a flying fuck about anything. 

I went through so much pain. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:24 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

There was simply no mercy 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:26 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

Hate is what you get when you show hate to others. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:31 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

I'll be liberated from this jail some day. 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:36 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

I'm not going to be interacting much 

 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:38 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

It's nature of the internet 

 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:40 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

Sometimes I go through weird shit. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:50 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

I just didn't want to go through all this. 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:52 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

Don't be tied to one thing. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:54 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

One day all of this will be far behind me. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:56 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

Today jn a horrible mood

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 4:58 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

I'm literally having a headache. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 5:00 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

I have to remind myself that good people are always loving. 

Why should my private ventings and feelings be the subject of forum discussion. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 5:02 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

I already know all this 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

Now everytime something distracts me I'll write it here and know how to respond to it rather than responding to everything emotionally. 

Oof. 

I'm not here for entertainment 

 

 

Reminding myself.. Berrylee please bring back your focus.. 

What am I on the forum for? 

What was I on the forum for? Again? 

This forum should not consume my attention so much. 

I write about sex because it helps me connect to my deeper desires and my core biological instincts. Writing about sex helps me be in a loving mood with my partner. Reminds me of what I really wanted - sex, love and intimacy. 

My progress is very slow.. But it's taking place in increments. 

I'm a work in progress but I need to progress faster. 

What were you on the forum for+

Answer - I am here for my work primarily. Center yourself. Ground yourself. Interaction and communication is fine but don't take it too far. 

I'm tired of this place. Full of miserable, panicking, annoying cheap insecure, bored and 

 

 

 

Note to Leo - 

 

You were better off not telling it to everyone on the blog. Now it will be used against you. Bad decision. You should have thought this through if it didn't mean much to you anyway. Just like the solipsism video, this was another fuck up. You need pr lessons big time. Every few months you come up with something that is too controversial for the public. What do you expect anyway? That people should accept you. But that can't happen. Only those who are loyal will show you unconditional respect. Most people will gradually walk away because they can't handle it. People look up to you so it's kinda challenging for them to keep up. You could always have the I don't care attitude but that won't serve you well. Had you said that this was a traumatic experience for you and that you're still healing and dealing and that you want stuff to integrate and that it caused you suffering and you were looking for ways to cope, then there would have been partial damage control. Now that you said it wasn't trauma and there's nothing to heal or integrate it makes everything twice as much worse. 

In a way this is your way of establishing trust and gaining a loyal following and filtering out those people who don't wanna believe you by the process of auto elimination. So you keep leaking out these things over time in measured increments. 

Slowly and steadily. 

You would have overwhelmed people if you had said this right in the beginning. Its a priming process, kinda similar to grooming. Getting people to be used to you. Not saying that this is bad, just showing you what you are doing. Do what you like in the end and whatever serves your higher purpose.

 

Again reminding myself that I'm not on this forum to deal with Leo's personal issues. 

It's his personal stuff although it's very very triggering to me. It's related to my aspects of child abuse. 

Leo does his drama every couple of months where he has to release some dramatic information about him. 

He could have finished this business long ago. But it has to be a long and drawn out soap opera. 

And I don't have enough patience with Leo's shenanigans

 

Let him say anything he wants in the future. Last time all the hoopla was about solipsism. Now this. 

After 4 months there will be another dramatic revelation. Fuck off.. 

 

No time to be distracted by this nonsense. The whole forum gets engaged with the mess that Leo creates. It keeps his audience engaged. Oooof. Go away already. Do your work. 

And then it's very triggering and attracts your time and energy and attention that you could have spent in doing something productive for your life.

What were you on the forum for+

Answer - I am here for my work primarily. Center yourself. Ground yourself. Interaction and communication is fine but don't take it too far. 

Note to myself - don't be a shit magnet. And don't be a drama magnet. Stay away from triggering stuff. 

Hard to do but do it 

Exited stupid Leo's thread. Oof. Relief. 

Drama magnets love this forum a bit too much eh!!!! 

 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

On 9/26/2022 at 9:02 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

 

 

I'm enjoying being on the forum but I won't be on the forum anymore. It is a waste of my time. Although I learn a lot in terms of growth. It makes me unnecessarily chatting and I end up popping up everywhere. 

Now I realize why I attract so much attention and why I become famous. I pop up everywhere. Because I have autism and low impulse control. It makes me feel lured into distracting stuff much faster and easier than it does others. 

I also have low self awareness

And I'm addicted to talking to Ieo simply because I enjoy talking with him. Which is bad because after a while I simply cannot be on the forum without talking to Leo. 

It becomes an addiction. 

My relationship with Leo and the forum 

 

Stuff has gotta change. I mean Leo is addicted to the forum

 

 

 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 11:44 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

This forum was a bad experience overall. 

So I don't give a fuck anymore 

 

I'm better off without it. 

It's mixed with some bad experiences for me and all sorts of shit that happened. 

I know I shouldn't impact myself with the hate from other people. A few bad apples ruin the whole show.

But whatever. There's negative vibe here. 

Also how there's no authenticity here. Everything is showmanship and ego games and I should not be a part of the dirt. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 0:21 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

Rot in hell. 

Rot in hell. 

I actually want him to rot in here. Interestingly his own choices are his demise. 

I pray he never gets peace. Done. My line is Final..

By fucking with me you're fucking with the wrong person dude.. Barking the wrong tree. I'm too powerful. You can do nothing. You are shit. 

Seeing him rot will be a joy to my heart. Sociopaths and psychopaths deserve that fate. 

Calling upon his own bad karma. 

He will rot in hell. 

This place will become hell for sociopaths. I hope so. Good job. 

Of course nobody likes hell.

But hell is what you will deserve. 

Oh my blood is on the wall. 

 

And on the oath of my blood, suffer and rot in hell. 

My blood spell for him 

 

 

Rot in hell. Your bad karma is that you never get peace. You did wrong to someone 

Wrong will happen to you. 

 

 

Goodluck 

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

On 9/26/2022 at 5:05 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

The thing is - in order to see the matrix you have to get out of the matrix. 

 

 

On 9/26/2022 at 7:22 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

I'm wary of connecting with people because I don't know what might come up 

 

 

 

On 9/27/2022 at 5:12 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

I'll participate in the forum but I won't chat there with anyone. 

 

On 9/27/2022 at 7:37 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

The threads that I have already opened. 

 

 

On 9/27/2022 at 7:41 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

Omg just closed the journal section completely. 

Now I don't have to worry about the nonsense that goes on here 

Ughhhhhhh. 

 

 

On 9/27/2022 at 7:43 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

The journal section is literal cancer. 

 

 

On 9/27/2022 at 7:48 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

Ahhhhhhh, freedom from this torture. 

 

 

On 9/27/2022 at 11:40 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

Technical help 

 

 

 

On 9/27/2022 at 6:45 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

It's impossible literally. 

 

 

On 9/28/2022 at 3:30 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

Ok enough misery. Time to focus on my goals. Finally free. 

Today I did some productive stuff. 

I swear my time away from the forum is well spent. 

I used to always say that this is place has a negative energy. 

Don't take it too seriously. Take it fun spirited. 

 

 

On 10/1/2022 at 7:22 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

They write about how other people are the problem when they themselves are the problem. 

 

 

On 10/1/2022 at 7:24 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

Oooh you're so good, I'm so good. 

 

 

Lol. @the mutual ego boosting.

 

 

 

On 10/1/2022 at 7:28 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

Maybe use your own behavior as a fuel, there's plenty of it. 

 

20 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I don't like people who play victim 

They are the first ones to stay away from. 

Next in line are people who talk about others behind their backs

 

If you can't say something to someone's face, don't say it behind their backs to others. 

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

What an aggressive way of responding back. Just blocked that person.. Ugh. 

I should know in such situations that I'm not the problem. I tried to be polite. 

People online can be so rude. 

I always forget this. Block people who I don't like and never talk to them again. Zero drama. I'm getting better at this than before. 

For the past 3 days I haven't even been on the forum. I came just once a day to check my journal. And this is my fourth day on the forum after a break of few days. And this happens. I swear this place swarms with negative energy. 

It's hard to take this place seriously anymore. 

 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Whenever some male is unnecessarily acting aggressive towards me on the forum, I'm reminded of this post. Why I dislike this place so much and how I always get shamed and flogged for simply being frank about how I feel. 

This place is  pure hell for women. 

And if I was the only woman Sensing the hellish energy here then this woman wouldn't have made this post. 

 

 

 

I'm not going to be putting up with passive aggressive abuse for the sake of validation. 

 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Why am I supposed to be silent about how I feel about this place? 

Why am I supposed to restrict my thoughts and feelings? 

If someone takes offense, is it really my fault? 

Shutting up someone when they feel bad about how they are treated is equivalent to child abuse. 

It's like saying - deal with it. 

I'm not going to change who I am just because a bunch of people don't like me or don't get along or don't care. 

I have been true to my feelings and I don't live for public approval

I'm not going to pretend and act like this place is good for women just to seek the approval of all the men here. I ain't that cheap 

 

I always stand true by my conviction. Always have been. Always will. 

People act like I'm unhinged. No. I'm not unhinged. I'm just unfiltered, unabridged and unapologetic. 

 

And that's a bit hard for a lot of people to digest that a woman is being openly badass. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

Leo always comes up with an auto-generated computerized used car salesman response every few months but rarely actually does anything substantial. 

LEO'S response - 

I want to make this forum more welcoming to women.

There are two core issues here:

1) Men are simply biased by their sexual desires so they cannot think objectively about women. These biases are very deep and are not easily undone. And given the fact that something like 80% of my audience is male, it's sorta baked into the cake. As a man I also have some of these biases.

2) Redpill, Blackpill, Incel, and pickup ideologies have spread across the web like a virus and are difficult to undo. They are discussed here. Often we try to debunk them here.

With that said, our Mods certainly do reign in the worst elements of this. We could do better but also these biases and ideas simply arise by having a bunch of guys talking about dating in one place.

If you see clearly misogynistic posts, please report to a Mod or myself. But also remember that we cannot police all the bias out of people here. So try to distinguish between genuinely misogyny vs differences in perspective and natural bias. Part of learning to get better with women is seeing one's biases play themselves out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This place will never change for women. Guarantee 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Lmao some of the stuff I'm reading here. 

The irony 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 I'm not at all surprised by whatever I see. 

Like nothing about humanity or people surprises me anymore, the same backbiting games, the same ego shtick. 

I don't think the forum is such a good place for me after all. Time to let it go at least sometimes, as much as I like talking to people, some part of it due to my own lack and self isolation for some time, it does give me that dopamine hit, that craving to talk to people, due to lack of human contact, but how much is too much, how much is where you begin to realize intuitively that this is all destructive, it's mind boggling, the mind always craves something that isn't good for the body, I've been watching this entire gamut of human games (without any tethering) almost for an entire year now, beginning 2021, I must say it wasn't that severe back then, it was a bit lame to a certain extent, and then came 2022, a lot changed since the month of March, rather dramatically, until then much was passive, and then I realized that I was breathing some poisonous gas but I was in too deep to find the escape route, and things came to a boiling point, head to head, ear to ear, everything felt much more real, it wasn't just letters on the screen by then, shit went too deep and it was too late to do anything about it, I was left wondering what was left to salvage anymore out of the putrid mess, and yes it was a groundbreaking thing, a watershed moment for me, I had to cut my own wings and break the chains at last. Come out of the whole mess in one piece and put back all the broken pieces together, let them mold in the furnace and give me the energy to fly back to my safe spot. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

So what should my focus really be? 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

1 hour ago, Tyler Robinson said:

So what should my focus really be? 

 

Lots of elements here - 

So basically it all comes down to this

- singing your own  merry tune even if nobody is listening. 

- Find a healing space in your own brain 

- finally cracking the code to suffering 

- solace and comfort in one's expression. After all even the devil can't stop that one. 

- going on and on, on what the heart wants. I will call this the heart song. 

- cutting chords is the best thing I ever did 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boiling it down to - 

• Having Self Compassion in all Situations big or small 
• Venting as much as possible
• Focusing on honest self expression 
• Invoking the joy within through exploration and writing. Different avenues of positive engagement 
• Cultivating a beautiful garden in the mind and heart
• Gain emotional mastery. Your voice is your power. Your words are your power. Your fluent expression is your power. Everyone can inhibit public expression. But nobody can inhibit personal expression 
• Seek solace in personal expression and Vulnerability. 
• The solution lies in self expression and not in communication 
• A tactful way with words 
• Positive engagement - writing about alternative stuff that captivates your interest like ancient cultures. 
• Negative engagement - being completely honest with self, psychoemotional processing of current and past garbage, incineration, Vulnerability, not being hesitant in saying things frankly, venting and throwing it out of the system, letting out all the hurt and pain bottled up inside, throwing out all the anger and frustration and not holding it in, giving back if anyone abused/mistreated me  and not swallowing it, retaliating it as much as possible and not absorbing other's asshole behavior and rudeness, clap back at unnecessary shaming and throwing it out, not guilting myself for no fault of my own. 

 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Tyler Robinson