Is this true? (Suicide)

[blankisomeone]

https://medium.com/the-collector/where-does-suicide-take-the-soul-883faa98e15e

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Edited September 30, 2022 by blankisomeone

[blankisomeone]

U guys know of any wacky new age spiritual person who claims to have killed themselves in another life and knows what happens?

[Loba]

No... if you listen closely, especially if you are suicidal, the Gods will do everything in their power to come to you to help you in your time of need.  They love their creations very much and do not want anything to harm them.  There is no hell, other than the experiences that we have here on earth that offer a sense of contrast.  We need this contrast to grow and to feel.  What comes after death is unification with love, with the divine, in some form.  When I had my awakening experiences, I felt everyone connected to the Source energy.  Absolutely everyone who ever was or will be, all singing in unison.  Animal, plant, human.  Good, evil.  All with purpose and reason.  The universe takes into account suicide in its plan.  Absolutely.  If you take your life, it was already planned.
There are some circumstances where the soul might do something unexpected, but this is very, very rare.  And this is what fuels the evolution of consciousness forward.  When I experienced the universe, it was very much like the visuals of this song - all things in their proper place.  The web of life, the feedback loops that govern us.
I have a strong faith that those who have harmed themselves move on to a place for healing.  Not harm.  God does not do this to its creations.
It does beg the question into why these mythologies are so prevalent.  I don't know why that is.  I can only speak from my own experience, and this tells me that all things will return to two forms - masculine and feminine - and then once these two collide, they will be One - and then the process will start over again in some manner.  What that is, I don't know that either.

Here is the song God spoke to me through:

 

[blankisomeone]

teal swan talks about the law of mirroring and how it gets carried over. Like if/when I kill myself, all of my darkness will get reflected back at me and it will be hellish

 

i was going thru lots of stress at work once and was seriously thinking of ending it but decided to take a nap instead and I had a horrible dream which felt too real of me walking aimlessly in the street and then some people slapping me and shaking me to wake the fuck up

 

idk what that was all about 

and to a certain extent I’m almost curious now what happens to be honest. But the finality of such an act, the not being able to undo it is very very very very very very terrifying

 

im feeling too alone and idk if it’s fixable anymore

 

today was also stressful at work and I just did some crying in bed

 

my chest hurts like I’m on the verge of a heart attack and I’m only 23 (:

Edited September 30, 2022 by blankisomeone

[Loba]

8 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

teal swan talks about the law of mirroring and how it gets carried over. Like if/when I kill myself, all of my darkness will get reflected back at me and it will be hellish

No.  I don't think so.  There are a few different ways this could go.  Those who have NDE's and they are hellish, they pray for the light, for God to come get them and ask for forgiveness and they are elevated out of their misery.
Another way - try doing self introspection.  I did this in my darkest time, and it was pretty bleak.  But what I found from it was not more darkness, but a beautiful radiance of pure Love, for all things great and small.

10 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

i was going thru lots of stress at work once and was seriously thinking of ending it but decided to take a nap instead and I had a horrible dream which felt too real of me walking aimlessly in the street and then some people slapping me and shaking me to wake the fuck up

That could be your subconscious telling you things about your day to day reality.  Our minds filter our emotions and what happens to us and puts them into odd story forms to integrate.  Please don't end it.  I know life is hard, but we are all here together.

11 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

and to a certain extent I’m almost curious now what happens to be honest. But the finality of such an act, the not being able to undo it is very very very very very very terrifying

You can find out without needing to die.  Just go within and see what comes out.

12 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

im feeling too alone and idk if it’s fixable anymore

I relate to these emotions.  If I were there I would give you a big hug.

12 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

today was also stressful at work and I just did some crying in bed

I am so sorry to hear that, what kind of work do you do?

13 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

my chest hurts like I’m on the verge of a heart attack and I’m only 23 (:

Stress.  Gotta manage it somehow, it can certainly damage your heart if it goes on for years.

What are you currently doing for a spiritual practice?

[blankisomeone]

 

8 hours ago, Loba said:

What are you currently doing for a spiritual practice?

Nothing much. I did 3 psychedelic trips, first one was great. Second and third one my depression and loneliness and twisted thinking were amplified and the experience was not pleasant. Not willing to do it again anytime soon!!!

I had 2 therapy sessions but they’r hella expensive, don’t know for how much longer I can keep that going

im workin on cognitive therapy. Learning about cognitive distortions. Therapist says I need to have this down cuz it’s first step in the healing journey. I’m also trying inner child work but that’s not working well.. I just can’t seem to get it right

butttttt idkk if this is the right path. Idk what I’m doing

Edited September 30, 2022 by blankisomeone

[Leo Gura]

There is no soul. You are God and death is a dream.

With that said, don't harm your body.

Edited September 30, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Bojan V]

Perhaps try to read books Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls by Michael Newton.

And i'm sorry you have troubles at work. It's ok to cry if you feel that way.

Hugs...

[Mz Hyde]

5 hours ago, blankisomeone said:

I had 2 therapy sessions but they’r hella expensive, don’t know for how much longer I can keep that going

https://youarerad.org/

[Gidiot]

It’s a good question you raise… if everything is gods will, then people who commit suicide are too.  Suicide feels wrong to me that’s why “I” wouldn’t do it but I’m curious as to what will happen if there was no longer a feeling of being in a body.  It’s said that it’ll be this and that after death but I haven’t had the consciousness to be certain of it yet. Way too many concepts

Edited September 30, 2022 by Gidiot

[blankisomeone]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

and death is a dream

Yup. Terrifying.

[The Mystical Man]

Don't ever consider committing suicide. For suicide is not the easy way out. The consequences of such an action will be severe; it will cause a karmic mess, which you will need to resolve. Therefore, you cannot avoid life. Life is like one of those movies where the characters have to play a game, and the only way to stop the game is to play it until the end; you have to complete the game of life. When you kill yourself, you get another womb. And then life will tell you: "Choose again." It's better to make the right choice in this lifetime. In this lifetime, you have a tremendous advantage; it's a great opportunity.

Edited September 30, 2022 by The Mystical Man

[blankisomeone]

4 hours ago, Mz Hyde said:

https://youarerad.org/

Ok fuck it I’m gonna try this

i remember u recommended it to me twice before but I overlooked it

i have some prejudice regarding how that website looks because it looks too happy and positive and I am positivity averse (:

but ok I’ll try it

[The Mystical Man]

11 hours ago, blankisomeone said:

i was going thru lots of stress at work once and was seriously thinking of ending it but decided to take a nap instead and I had a horrible dream which felt too real of me walking aimlessly in the street and then some people slapping me and shaking me to wake the fuck up

 

idk what that was all about 

Nobody can tell you what your dreams are about. Only you can find out what your unconscious is trying to tell you. There is a very simple process that's described in this book by Robert A. Johnson: Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth

[blankisomeone]

12 minutes ago, The Mystical Man said:

Nobody can tell you what your dreams are about. Only you can find out what your unconscious is trying to tell you. There is a very simple process that's described in this book by Robert A. Johnson: Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth

Idk why I said idk what that was all about. It was clear what that was all about: I needed to wake the hell up from my suicidal impulses. The other characters in the dream were shaking me violently and I woke up from that nap feeling on my actual skin as if I’d really been slapped (which *really* happened for anyone who understands that there’s no difference between right now and a nightly dream)

Suicide is just one of my destinies. I know I can choose out of it even though sometimes it feels like a gravitational pull and I’m even overtaken by curiosity about experiencing first hand what happens (but like I said, the finality of the decision is really terrifying; and it does feel wrong and dirty to have so much anger towards my own self. Suicide is just wrong, period. It’s mechanical and driven by anger. It’s just very twisty)

Edited September 30, 2022 by blankisomeone

[Yarco]

All religions have an incentive to tell you that something horrible will happen if you kill yourself.

Otherwise everyone would just commit suicide whenever things get tough, if they thought they could just take a shortcut to heaven.

Until you're 100% certain though, I would operate on the assumption that this is the only 1 life you have, so it's probably worth living even if it sucks. You have infinity to not exist afterward.

11 hours ago, blankisomeone said:

i was going thru lots of stress at work

today was also stressful at work and I just did some crying in bed

my chest hurts like I’m on the verge of a heart attack and I’m only 23 (:

This sounds like a panic attack 

[blankisomeone]

1 minute ago, Yarco said:

You have infinity to not exist afterward

No, the shit show probably goes on forever. Non existence is not possible unfortunately

[The Mystical Man]

25 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

Idk why I said idk what that was all about. It was clear what that was all about: I needed to wake the hell up from my suicidal impulses. The other characters in the dream were shaking me violently and I woke up from that nap feeling on my actual skin as if I’d really been slapped (which really happened for anyone who understands that there’s no difference between right now and a nightly dream)

Yes, the meaning of that dream seems rather obvious, but Johnson's process can help you to discover less obvious meanings. Dream work helped me a lot.

25 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

Suicide is just one of my destinies. I know I can choose out of it even though sometimes it feels like a gravitational pull and I’m even overtaken by curiosity about experiencing first hand what happens (but like I said, the finality of the decision is really terrifying; and it does feel wrong and dirty to have so much anger towards my own self. It’s just very twisty)

I hope you choose well. 

Maybe Redemptive Love can help you:

 

Edited September 30, 2022 by The Mystical Man

[The Mystical Man]

57 minutes ago, Yarco said:

Otherwise everyone would just commit suicide whenever things get tough, if they thought they could just take a shortcut to heaven.

There is no shortcut to heaven. The point of life isn't to discover that all you needed to do was to kill yourself. That's violent. The point of life is to play the game of life well. Play it wisely and lovingly. Life is about wise action, and suicide is not a wise action.

57 minutes ago, Yarco said:

You have infinity to not exist afterward.

There is an eternity of existence.

Edited September 30, 2022 by The Mystical Man

[Loba]

14 hours ago, blankisomeone said:

Nothing much. I did 3 psychedelic trips, first one was great. Second and third one my depression and loneliness and twisted thinking were amplified and the experience was not pleasant. Not willing to do it again anytime soon!!!

I had 2 therapy sessions but they’r hella expensive, don’t know for how much longer I can keep that going

im workin on cognitive therapy. Learning about cognitive distortions. Therapist says I need to have this down cuz it’s first step in the healing journey. I’m also trying inner child work but that’s not working well.. I just can’t seem to get it right

butttttt idkk if this is the right path. Idk what I’m doing

Hey there, sorry for the late response, it was getting close to my bedtime and I decided to hit the hay.  I noticed you had another comment and I was going to reply to it, but I see I did not get back in time.

I don't do psychedelics very much, when I was younger I did - my advice is if you are actively going through something tough that they can be hit or miss.  If you're getting uncomfortable trips, I would lay off of them until you're in a better space.  Some people feel differently, they think it helps with trauma, but my opinion is that they're best used when in a stable environment.  Or if not that, then with a person who is experienced that can guide you through your trip.

Oh man, I know how that goes.  Therapy is very costly, it's one of the reasons I have not gone in yet for my own treatment.

I'd love to give you more helpful advice, but I don't know a whole lot about therapy so I can't really delve into that too much.  I've heard great things about it, and not so great things.  I think it will all come down to how you're feeling about the process.  Give it some time and evaluate if it is helping you and if not, try something else, if so, stick with it.

Do you do any journaling?  "Shadow work" and things of this nature?  One thing that helped me get through some of my issues - I still have more to work through, but this helped me spiritually and gave me insight into the nature of death - was to journal.  I started offsite for quite a while and then moved to this website.  What I like to do is delve into everything that might feel like a block.  My self image, my ego, my delusions, just everything - and to do so from a place of no judgement.  Just looking at it like you might inspect something surgically.  And I write that down.  I will then look at different viewpoints and write those down.  Over time, this creates a chain of insight that will eventually lead me to the main "problem", which is usually, for me, fear of death/pain/suffering.  If I am in the right headspace, I will go through those emotions fully on the spot and try to see what I can bring up from it.  It will either be an awakening, insight, a paranormal experience or a resolution into something that was bothering me.

Another thing that can help your depression/suicide is to collect images/poetry/artwork/music of things that you can "feel" God in.  Even if you don't see God right away, your intuition knows - look at these things every day and offer gratitude for them.  Meet God in the middle with love and gratitude and see what happens.

I wish I could give you more to go off of, but these two things are my main staples and they have done me well.  I hope you find some sense of peace.  Please don't harm yourself.  But also know that I KNOW for a fact that God is caring and loving and that these talks about there being this punishment for an already suffering soul is nonsense.  Why would a loving, caring God harm someone's soul who is already hurting?  They're innocent.  Just in pain.  That is victim blaming, that is a human trait put into the nature of God.  There might be more to the anatomy of the death/birth process, but okay... let's put it this way - say a woman was raped as a child and it happened a lot.  Then she gets pregnant.  She lives in a country where rape is considered a sin no matter how it happens, and so is premarital sex.  She has to marry this man.  She gets married, has the child and he abuses her anyways.  She finally kills herself.  Why would God then harm this innocent soul, who was already in so much pain, just to teach it a "lesson"?  No way.  That soul would be showered in love and kindness and a healing energy and put back together again so that the person feels whole and safe and has the ability to express themselves completely.  That is what a loving God would do.  And every experience I have of God has always been this way.  God heals, it doesn't harm things.  When you find it, when you reach out, it's very illumination is a salve for the broken heart.

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

There is no soul. You are God and death is a dream.

With that said, don't harm your body.

That has not been my experience.  I don't discredit your experiences, but I think you went to the top and didn't get to fully map out the entire anatomy of this thing.  In my experience, which was going through sickness and death, I was given the miracle of some sense of understanding - and it was the most truthful thing I ever felt.  No ego, nothing.  There was the whole thing - which is God, but there were souls, also composed of God.  It was still a singular thing, but each given the miracle of life from which to explore itself.  The experience of souls was single handedly one of the most true things that I have ever encountered in this world, to such a degree I that I Know it on a very deep level, and have even experienced my own bubble.  How the anatomy of this works, I don't know, I would need more experiences like this that are so true that they blow any doubt out of the water but for me these are rare and don't happen very often.  Also, some really advanced material talks about the soul - like the Seth material and Sri Aurobindo's works.  I had an awakening to the nature of the soul from reading Seth Speaks.  I would keep your mind open that maybe you've just experienced the top portion to such a degree that the other aspects of the anatomy of reality have not made themselves visible to you.  Just my 2c take or leave.

11 hours ago, Judy2 said:

hey, i'm curious about your perspective on the above. I've heard people talk about the importance of contrast before, but currently my perspective on this is rather pessimistic. Especially when it comes to the idea that in order to grow, we have to face so much pain and fear...and nowadays i only see the fear, and feel like i'm obligated to face it, but at the same time it completely erases the positive side of things. Like...why does "Love" have to be so hard and challenging? Too challenging, at times, so it almost breaks you. Sorry if this is too much, i just thought i'd ask cause you seem to have an understanding of this.

And would you mind elaborating on the last part? Why do you perceive the duality of masculine vs feminine as more fundamental than any other duality?

Hi there!  Sure, I must preface that my awakening is very incomplete, so I write from the truest place I am at, but there are a lot of holes in my understanding so I'll do my best to answer but it comes from the place of still, quite a neophyte on the matter.

My understanding comes from facing it in my own way - and having it explained to me from the other side that this is just the nature of things.  I don't quite understand why it has to be so hard for people.  I don't agree with it, I wish it were easier for everyone.  I see people suffering and relate to it on such a visceral level.  I'll tell you what I was told, but I still have questions that I am seeking from this myself.

I was told that this contrast is what allows us to know what we want.  We are creators, that are limited while we are here.  We often can't see the extent that we create things, it becomes more apparent when you are dying, during certain forms of psychological breaks, or on psychedelics and sometimes in dreams.  We are obligated to face it, but this fear is often wrapped up in a package that looks scarier than it actually is.  There's often a distortion in how a person is looking at things that gives it a monstrous façade.  It can take some time and personal work to uncover why the fear looks a certain way.  It can come in the form of something very frightening, only to end up being something very loving underneath all of that.

What I was told, from my challenges is that - if you believe in souls - that certain souls are given a life path that opens them up to be elevated in some form.  Sometimes this is a very easy process, and these people go only so deep into it, and into themselves.  But there is a deeper process where life breaks you open, not only to show you what you want, what you crave, in order to bring this to you in some form, either in life or death, but also so that you know how wonderous it really is.  When you are very low, very down, and then something or some moment comes in to elevate you - there's this sense of going full circle.  You've gone down into the underworld, down into the pit of human psychology, and you get to take with you all the bits from the bottom to the top - instead of just being in the middle and going to the top.  There is a very interconnected energy/nature within human suffering that binds us all together.  All humans have suffered.  It is a key into empathy, compassion and love for your fellow man, to see their experience and pain and to know how that feels.  This almost breaking-point can broaden your scope of understanding to a very significant degree.  I hope that makes some sense.

As for the masculine and feminine qualities, I don't perceive it as more important, it just happens to be what comes up when I face my own death/destruction of the body.  I don't really have any feeling on it as being above any other duality in any way.  It feels like - that within myself, which is feminine, that just beyond that layer, there is the masculine that holds it.  Like Shiva and Kali - Shiva is inert and lays on the ground, while Kali dances on top of him.  They are ultimately one.  When I let go of my ego, and just look into the void, my void, this mythology springs to live, and I can see this living phenomenon within it.  It is like both a dark and illuminating quality to it.  It seems to be just on the very outskirts of the layers of thought, culture, even mythology, of anything - just an intention, or an influence that flows in a certain way.  Will, you could call it.  And it just tells me things intuitively that I write down and follow, I don't really hold a strong attachment to it, it's all very loose.  Like, if I wanted to, I could let it go, and just focus on the void, but then there it would be.  It moves in the creation, maintenance, destruction pattern, and for the one that I work with, this is a destructive force, that ultimately creates new soil for different things to develop and grow.  It is activated or mitigated by the collective actions that humanity takes.  A natural force.  But masculine.  At the end of the day, I don't know why these polarities are more fundamental, or if they even are.  I'm still poking holes in all of it to try to make some sense of it.  There very well could be something even more fundamental that I am not aware of.

It feels very much like how the energy is described, though, within Indian tradition.  That you seek it from within, not from without, that it is the building block to consciousness, and that the feminine is what plays or moves on this.  It feels like they are both one, but that one, or perhaps both, don't realize this until one becomes aware of it from within themself.  It is almost like, the universe within you.  There is the human consciousness, and then this other thing that is more primal and archaic and wise - and both sort of "mold" and play with each other from the other side.  When it comes to nonbinary or trans, I don't know how this works.  I think that because we carry both of these energies within us, that it isn't an issue of gender.  You could be the feminine energy and be male, or the masculine and be female, it's just how the very basic layer manifests within you.

Hope that helps somewhat.  I am kind of limited in how to explain this, because I am so new to understanding it.  It might take a few years for me to be able to understand and develop a better answer. 

If you are feeling a strong sense of suffering and fear, my advice is to take up the practice of memento mori.  Look into the void, with as much clarity and space allowed for it to speak to you as you can, and see what comes up for you personally.  It seems like much of this stuff is so personal to each individual that everyone kind of gets a different picture to work with to put together.  But many times, the partition between life and death is so flimsy, that the reality of this is actually just right there, looking everyone in the eye but we don't always see it.  Within this void, this death, is actually a universal life, an awareness.  It's like a full-circle thing, where you see immortality within your own destruction, in some sense.  Try going through it when you feel most afraid and seeing what comes up in your awareness.  Everything and anything.  Get really comfortable with your inner darkness, your inner light, and feel for what you really want, what you would fight for if you were at the end of the world.  What would remain, if everything else sluffed off.  These things are the puzzle pieces, and those are what to inspect - these things that we either run from or so desire deeply within ourselves are little breadcrumbs, keys, into our own divinity.