How to master social skills and become a master at networking?

[ThePoint]

Currently, my social skills are decent. But I want to really master this skill.

I want to be able to develop meaningful and deep relationships. I want to make friends whom I can call truly close friends.

I want to be able to befriend anyone I want to be friends with. 

But one of the more important goals for me is networking. I want to master networking.

What resources, books, or material is the best for mastering social skills and networking? (Apart from How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie).

Edited September 25, 2022 by ThePoint

[NoSelfSelf]

First by creating meaningful relationship with yourself because you are reflection of how you see yourself and operate...

Creating such a good relationship with yourself that others want to be with you..

Its backwards thinking if books and courses doesnt help you to find yourself its a cult that wants you to behave like them...

[Ulax]

@ThePointWould you like to hear my perspective? It may be what you've already heard from me.

Edited September 25, 2022 by Ulax

[LSD-Rumi]

@ThePoint By developing a deep feeling of safety on the inside, this what strenght is, safety on the inside. Once you've mastered that, your social skills and charisma will go through the roof ( with enough socializing of course).

Edited September 25, 2022 by LSD-Rumi

[ThePoint]

2 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

First by creating meaningful relationship with yourself because you are reflection of how you see yourself and operate...

Creating such a good relationship with yourself that others want to be with you..

How do I do this?

2 hours ago, Ulax said:

@ThePointWould you like to hear my perspective? It may be what you've already heard from me.

@Ulax Yes. 

2 hours ago, LSD-Rumi said:

@ThePoint By developing a deep feeling of safety on the inside, this what strenght is, safety on the inside. Once you've mastered that, your social skills and charisma will go through the roof ( with enough socializing of course).

@LSD-Rumi How do I develop a deep feeling of safety on the inside?

[NoSelfSelf]

@ThePoint that's tough to answer here, its like you asked me how anatomy works(putting it in perspective)

Having relationship with yourself is where every part works for you to move you where you should be moving according to a rules of your relationship...

 

[Ulax]

@ThePoint Okay.

I'd recommend the following:

- Learn how to meet your needs on your own (Note you can still request help from others in doing so, just keep in mind that they are allowed to not do so)

- Learn how to change your attachment style to secure

- Find other people with secure attachment styles that have similar values and interests to you, and connect with them.

- Be wary of trauma bonding and learn about relationship red flags. If you still want to meet up with them despite red flags, then try and identify what need is being met by hanging out with them and try to meet that need in a healthier way.

- Read the books 'Non violent communication' by Marshall Rosenburg, and 'The Social Skills Guidebook: Manage Shyness, Improve Your Conversations, and Make Friends, Without Giving Up Who You Are' by Chris MacLeod (this second one is useful,  imo, regardless of your unconscious state of mind)

[Nilsi]

Go out and talk to people. Its the same as with mastering anything, you just need to put the hours and deliberate work into it. Of course this is also a recursive process and your encounters will make you want to learn more about human behavior, psycholgy etc., which in turn will change how you relate to people and network etc. - you get the idea.

[LSD-Rumi]

21 minutes ago, ThePoint said:

How do I develop a deep feeling of safety on the inside?

There is no exact way how to do it. I just put it as a goal I should work towards, and I keep pushing myself towards that goal. I feel all the inner weakness inside of me and I kinda see how disgusting and counterproductive it is, I imaigne myself as this secure and charismatic man who is not afraid of anything and can handle things without feeling anxiety or panic. I try to increase my inner feeling of self-love. I try to embrace the idea that inner strength is what's important and it will make life way easier and more enjoyable. I try to let go of all the limiting beliefs that I have about myself and about masculinity. 

You see, there is no direct road to be more safe and strong. it is very hard actually to turn a beta into a secure alpha. it is harder than making a civil man out of caveman 

[Jacob Morres]

Maybe find some dudes that you admire in this area and glean insight off em 

[Jacob Morres]

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=networking&crid=RLS50X43UK1Y&sprefix=networking%2Caps%2C114&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Maybe a start 

Edited September 27, 2022 by Jacob Morres

[StarStruck]

Do 3 RSD programs. Make notes: read them for 30 days. Make action plans and execute them for 30 days. It doesn't have to take a long time to get good. Consistency over perfection is key. You already know the answers to the questions you are asking but the thing is that the answers will reveal themselves if you are consistent with your effort.

Edited September 27, 2022 by StarStruck

[Ulax]

44 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Do 3 RSD programs. Make notes: read them for 30 days. Make action plans and execute them for 30 days. It doesn't have to take a long time to get good. Consistency over perfection is key. You already know the answers to the questions you are asking but the thing is that the answers will reveal themselves if you are consistent with your effort.

It sounds to me like you've had some success in this area.

Why do you think that OP already knows the answers to the questions he's asking though?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCZdJiGSk8g

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8DE0pcO0Do

 

Edited September 29, 2022 by Raze

[something_else]

I actually don’t think there is that much theory involved in networking and socialising. I notice whenever people look for advice on how to be more sociable they want books and theory, but I’m more and more becoming convinced that these are mostly distractions.

If you wanna get good at networking you start making small talk at places filled with people who you would like to network with. The hardest step here is actually finding those places and working up the courage to talk to people there consistently. Beyond that there probably isn’t much theory that can help you

Becoming good at socialising of all forms is, I think, more or less about being in the right places, and removing blockages like anxiety and shyness. Actually learning what to do comes as a result of this, not books/videos/theories

Especially if you already have decent baseline social skills