Now that I'm here, need college dating advice

[CameronsExploring]

I recently graduated high school and now I'm a young male college freshman. The dating scene here is unfamiliar to me, and I feel so inexperienced. 

For more background, I have a more introverted personality, so I really don't meet many new people naturally and haven't had much dating experience yet. This may be the reason why I suffer from what they call oneitis every time I start to like a new girl. This is really a painful process as it never leads to anywhere good, such as unrequited love. I feel like I am dealing with unrequited love right now, which is never fun.

I've been trying out clubs and such, but generally I feel that it is such as slow and limited way to meet interesting girls. I don't see how they can provide rich dating options and the opportunity to become more confident in myself. They are small in numbers, meaning that if you can't find anyone you like in a club, then you're just out of luck for the year. Neither is it really a good idea just to sign up for clubs just for this reason. Outside of clubs, I really don't know how to meet girls and other people.

I know that other guys may just be interested in hook ups or short-term dates, but I've always been more interested in finding love. While I see that it is useful to gain diverse experience with what kinds of girls are out there, I ultimately would like to find someone out there to be more intimate with. I would like to find someone who appreciates my authentic self and interests, is empathetic, down to earth, intellectual and curious about life, and healthy. 

Given my situation, I'm wondering how to work on my dating life and dating skills while in college.

My general questions are:

How do I create a good dating life in college?

What might the traps be?

How do I find love?

How do I meet women with the qualities that I'm looking for?

How do I get over oneitis?

Edit: I meant the school type of clubs, like "environmental science club". Not the late-night party clubs lol.

Edited September 25, 2022 by CameronsExploring

[Raze]

6 hours ago, CameronsExploring said:

How do I create a good dating life in college?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRx24sANgGU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnhWiq3E7eI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCqSLeQGWCU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twTrrGiRXtY

6 hours ago, CameronsExploring said:

How do I find love?

How do I meet women with the qualities that I'm looking for?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhWx9lHPjik

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V50pBRDLVUo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsyMBJwd3Ig

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlJLLjE9_To

6 hours ago, CameronsExploring said:

How do I get over oneitis?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tt-L2pROgk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVqANXVTLN4

http://happinessbeyondthought.blogspot.com/2012/05/surrendering-i-letting-go-of-suffering.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L2MzmE8cwo

 

Edited September 25, 2022 by Raze

[universe]

How do you feel about yourself?

Are you comfortable talking to women?

 

I was so confused with the way you used the word club haha. So instead of clubs maybe try going out to clubs  

[NoSelfSelf]

You basically came to a gym unprepared and now you wonder how all machines and exercise work not even having a program... you should have planned this beforehand now you are lost completely if you serious i would seek coaching from someone good, because you cant get few answers and roll with it thats my take to succed in this, its not childs play...

Edited September 25, 2022 by NoSelfSelf

[mr_engineer]

In high-school, I got rejected by a girl. Her advice to me was to just not date until you're done with high-school and college. And, I agreed. And, I still think that. 

As a guy, dating costs money. So, I'd suggest that you fully be on your own first. Especially if you struggle with oneitis, what this means is that you want something serious. And building the foundation for that takes a lot of time and effort. So, as hard as it is, I'd suggest that you fully focus on doing that. 

If you want social-interaction, work on team-projects. I did this and I do not regret this one bit. It'll also help you with women and making your relationships work. Cuz it is a team-effort. You will have to 'work together', so to speak. The reason computer-nerds struggle with women is that their projects can be individualistic where it's just them and the computer. You work on team-projects and you should be fine, socially. 

'Dating' in high-school and college is a lot of immature stupidity on the whole. Those kids are wasting their time fucking around, basically, not knowing what they're doing. Going to parties, getting wasted (ironically), is a waste of time. If you see a young couple and you think they're 'in love' or something, I can assure you, they're not. They don't have the slightest idea what 'love' even means or what it takes. Now that I have some understanding of the correct way to do this, when I see them, I cringe hard. (That was my boomer 'kids these days' moment lol)

Edited September 25, 2022 by mr_engineer

[Roy]

This will sound vulgar - but dude you are in college. This is the perfect time to get massive experience. Stop asking questions and thinking with your brain. Open your skull and throw your brain out. What you need to be doing is blindly going to parties, going to clubs, getting drunk and fucking as many girls as you can. If not a lot, at least around 3. Enough to connect with different personalities and temperaments.

The answers to all of your questions are to be found on the other side of the "door". Relationships and love will spawn from the clubs, parties, studying, class, and all other gatherings that people will be in. This is the time to be saying YES to everything when people ask you to do stuff, not questioning or worrying it to death. You will find what you like and don't like as you go along. Right now you are in front of the door, and it seems huge and scary and you don't know what's on the other side. It's counter-intuitive and backwards. You need to be doing stuff before you have the answers. Not having the answers before doing stuff.

So put your shoulder down, lean forward, and bust that fuckin door down. 

Edited September 25, 2022 by Roy