guys throwing each other under the bus to get girls

[Chives99]

I just think its really sad,  guys acting like a bully to act tough or guys that are macho, sure some people might find being overly dominant attractive, but the price you pay for that is you are out of your integrity. I will certainly stand up for myself and others, but I will never start a fight just to look hard. Macho guys never look happy they're always looking over their shoulder worrying about whos going to start on them because they've made that many enemies and have very shallow friendships, so there is very much a huge cost.

[LordFall]

This is actually in our evolutionary nature. Girlschase has a good article on this called lovers or fighters: who's your target audience, men or women?

Tldr is that men evolved two strategies to be more competitive with reproductive success: a more fighter strategy to fight other males away from the females or a lover strategy aimed at directly charming women.

In our modern society the fighter strategy isn't so efficient as you can't really kill a man that's courting the women you're into but you can imagine how in older times it's basically the most effective method.

A big part of self-actualization is shedding our evolved nature and being intentional with our behavior by that's the principle behind fighting other men for access to women.

[Chives99]

 @LordFall it still goes on to some extent a woman in the UK has been locked up for 12 years because she tried to hire a hitman off the darkweb to bump off a love rival, a journalist for the BBC uncovered it.

[Tyler Robinson]

11 hours ago, Lila9 said:

I've noticed this dynamic in men. Never understood that because it shows the opposite from what they want to convey, it shows that they are simply insecure and intimidated by other men.

This dynamic exists within women as well but slightly different.

Yup. 

[NoSelfSelf]

If you care about other men then you are not one basically...

[Consept]

I think men and women both do this, its just a feature of being insecure so you bring someone down to build yourself up

[Tyler Robinson]

Genuinely macho guys are protective. You need someone to fight them bullies. 

You're talking about white knights. 

Women do this much more than men. 

Notice that people who do this are never happy and sometimes get the dose of their own medicine. 

Such people are narcissists and use ways to prop themselves up. 

They're never happy in personal relationships though. 

 

[xbcc]

get jacked and/or learn martial arts and pimp slap the ones doing that. Thats what I do and it works....

[NoSelfSelf]

@xbcc ?‍♂️

[BlessedLion]

It is a shame, but there is such a strong pull to act like this. I find myself doing it in subtle ways, but also, let’s be fucking real for a second. It is a competition in a way because someone is getting laid at the end of the night and many are not. 
 

I do think the “fighter” approach is pretty stupid and it looks so lame and insecure. You can easily make that guy look like a dumbass by just being detached and let him dig his own grave. But you’re still competing and you still want to sleep with the girl and not share her. 
 

Theres no need to throw other guys under the bus, but you do have to stand out above them in subtle ways if you want to get the hottie

[Kalki Avatar]

Its not worth to hurry for pussy. Nor macho. Im proof of it. Made myself alpha just to understand in hard core experience what "seemed" as the thing. Stage orange sex and below sucks. 

Alphas are strong pussies. 

Alpha macho sex sucks. Orange women suck at sex. Its all needy, superunconcious, rushed, pretentious and superficial. 

I wont fuck unless its stage green upward or the girl is open to psychedelic sex. Deep intimate open sensual nonjudgmental sex is price less. Most people have not tasted real sex yet. They only think so. 

Edited September 27, 2022 by Kalki Avatar

[Roy]

There are a few ways to deal with this; 

- You can become stronger and intimidating so it happens less to you (guys typically don't physically challenge other men they think they would lose to).

- You can become more charismatic and witty to disarm the tension and navigate awkward social situations.

- You can act stoic and/or straight up ignore when guys are going this to you.

Every situation might require a different response. Sometimes the girl will not be worth the effort, especially getting in a fist fight over. If she is attracted to the idiot who is willing to act overly confrontational and insecure, then it means she is not mature enough to know what's good for her. Typically those girls aren't great for long term relationships, focus your energy on the ones that are more developed.

Remember that a girl with a pretty face is nice to look at, but if you can't stand hanging out with her or you're unable to have good conversation then you're going to regret the emotional and time investment.

I've always preferred more solo/intimate ways of connecting with women. You can show more of your authentic self and avoid all the noise and drama of groups.

Edited September 27, 2022 by Roy

[BlessedLion]

2 hours ago, Kalki Avatar said:

wont fuck unless its stage green upward or the girl is open to psychedelic sex. Deep intimate open sensual nonjudgmental sex is price less. Most people have not tasted real sex yet. They only think so. 

Sure but there is still competition to hook up with the tantric psychedelic women 

[xbcc]

21 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@xbcc ?‍♂️

you can face palm all you want but these kind of people will not respond to requests and kind words. If you are a male and another male throws you under the bus after having warned him before, a pimp slap works. 

 

[Nilsi]

On 9/24/2022 at 1:04 PM, Chives99 said:

I just think its really sad,  guys acting like a bully to act tough or guys that are macho, sure some people might find being overly dominant attractive, but the price you pay for that is you are out of your integrity. I will certainly stand up for myself and others, but I will never start a fight just to look hard. Macho guys never look happy they're always looking over their shoulder worrying about whos going to start on them because they've made that many enemies and have very shallow friendships, so there is very much a huge cost.

Thats just evolutionarily adaptive behavior (for obvious reasons), so girls are hardwired to be attracted to the kind of guy that would win these fights (because he would provide her offspring with the genes to win these fights and in turn spread her genes). So either find a conscious girl that has transcended her attraction dominant guys (if you do, please tell me where you found her) or become dominant without fucking anyone else over (i.e. have game).

Edited September 27, 2022 by Nilsi

[Nilsi]

Just now, KH2 said:

Competition is a very healthy thing, that should be encouraged in a society, as it brings out the best in everyone involved

As long as you compete over THINGS.

If you compete over PEOPLE in THIS DAY AND AGE, you are a loser. Both literaly and figuratively.

If you have to compete over clients for your business, you are a loser. Figure out why.

If you have to compete over dating opportunities, you are a loser. Figure out why.

We are not in small tribes of 150 people anymore.

Healthy competition is not to compete over something, but competing just for the sake of being a great competitor.

[Nilsi]

40 minutes ago, KH2 said:

It's not wrong to compete for something. Of course you become a better, more capable human in the process which is also rewarding, but that doesn't have to be the main reason.

Its not wrong, but its not the highest form of competition. I recommend you read the book "Finite and Infinite Games" by James Carse, if youre interested in healthy competition.

[Kalki Avatar]

@BlessedLion Hehe, if those girl really get to feel you dont "need" to compete for them, they will compete for you

Non needy (detached), well dressed+max looks possible, and authentic-self with common sense social skills. = Best sex when matched with the right person. 

Your authentic self will automatically tell you who is for you. There is really no need to spend all this time going crazy for girls and reading, calculating etc. Lol. I did all that juggle to learn the hard way. 

 

 

Edited September 27, 2022 by Kalki Avatar

[Chives99]

57 minutes ago, Kalki Avatar said:

@BlessedLion Hehe, if those girl really get to feel you dont "need" to compete for them, they will compete for you

Non needy (detached), well dressed+max looks possible, and authentic-self with common sense social skills. = Best sex when matched with the right person. 

Your authentic self will automatically tell you who is for you. There is really no need to spend all this time going crazy for girls and reading, calculating etc. Lol. I did all that juggle to learn the hard way. 

 

 

True that just drop the neediness , develop empathy and tap Into your authenticity 

[Ulax]

The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation