How do I stop whining?

[Kross]

I just can't seem to stop whining and bitching about my problems constantly. I'm starting to blame other people for my problems even though they're essentially self-created. A lot of times when I try sitting down and simply work on my problems through some good old hard work, my mind starts having thoughts about all the ways I feel like a victim and how I'm not living the life I think I should be living; I start feeling very frustrated. This causes me to stop working and just laying down on my bed, thinking about how terrible the things are going for me and worrying about my future. I need to stop whining - how do I make myself do so?

[meta_male]

This might be helpful:

 

[Devin]

Know that nothing you could do or accomplish or obtain or reach or become, will make you happy or satisfied; honestly

No awesome woman, career, bank account, fleet of cars, nothing; no status, not being the richest man, not being the big wall street investor

None of that would, will, or can make anyone happy, fulfilled, content, or satisfied

 

What can though; is available to you and everyone right now and you have to do nothing for it.

Relax, and experience the beauty currently in front of you, experience your breathing, drinking water, the sky, .....

 

None of that other stuff can ever bring you anything. And you already have everything of any real value. So really all that other stuff can bring you is pain and suffering via the empty desire for it

 

All of those things are relative, "who has/is the best" how could that ever make anyone happy? It's based on something you can lose, therefore when you obtain it you will only be obsessed with not losing it then, not having it taken from you. It's an unwinable game

 

The only reason to do anything is for fun, for play

Edited September 21, 2022 by Devin

[Thought Art]

@Kross I fall into this. It’s almost always there a little bit. I find I just have to take action regards. I also find meditate, Qigong, journaling… when I do it in that order I find when I journal I start to think more positively. Not sure why yet. 
 

Also, a decent mushroom trip once a month to shed the cobwebs. 
 

I also accept that this feeling, or these thoughts happen and I express them to myself or here. I find venting helps in some way. Then I just keep moving forward.

Edited September 21, 2022 by Thought Art

[Leo Gura]

You just have to slowly build the habit of working and investing in yourself.

And you want to visualize positive things. Don't let your mind think negatively by filling it with positive stuff you look forward to creating.

Edited September 21, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Razard86]

6 hours ago, Devin said:

Know that nothing you could do or accomplish or obtain or reach or become, will make you happy or satisfied; honestly

No awesome woman, career, bank account, fleet of cars, nothing; no status, not being the richest man, not being the big wall street investor

None of that would, will, or can make anyone happy, fulfilled, content, or satisfied

 

What can though; is available to you and everyone right now and you have to do nothing for it.

Relax, and experience the beauty currently in front of you, experience your breathing, drinking water, the sky, .....

 

None of that other stuff can ever bring you anything. And you already have everything of any real value. So really all that other stuff can bring you is pain and suffering via the empty desire for it

 

All of those things are relative, "who has/is the best" how could that ever make anyone happy? It's based on something you can lose, therefore when you obtain it you will only be obsessed with not losing it then, not having it taken from you. It's an unwinable game

 

The only reason to do anything is for fun, for play

While everything you said is absolutely true....I have recently learned....it will fall on deaf ears. Sadly we have to motivate the mouse to run on the treadmill until it burns through its karma and is like...is this it? Then they will be ready to listen. It is what it is.

[Devin]

@Razard86 I think you plant the seed, and there will come an event(rain), and then it will sprout.

And I write these as much for myself as I am for others. Post what I think and see if anyone can blow a hole through it for me.

Edited September 21, 2022 by Devin

[Mu_]

On 9/21/2022 at 8:41 AM, Kross said:

I just can't seem to stop whining and bitching about my problems constantly. I'm starting to blame other people for my problems even though they're essentially self-created. A lot of times when I try sitting down and simply work on my problems through some good old hard work, my mind starts having thoughts about all the ways I feel like a victim and how I'm not living the life I think I should be living; I start feeling very frustrated. This causes me to stop working and just laying down on my bed, thinking about how terrible the things are going for me and worrying about my future. I need to stop whining - how do I make myself do so?

Haha, I can totally sympathize.  I don't think there is a sure shot one way to fix this.  You may have to try a bunch of different approaches throughout your life.  I've been going through my own version of this at the moment and have encountered it before.  Sometimes you just gotta be with it, and let it be there, like a person on the street shouting at you as you walk by.  You can't make them stop shouting, but you can accept and not judge and not blame and not shame and not hate and lash back, or at least try to.  Meditation can sometimes help train this tool of being able to let things pass on their own without judgement or let them be there while your attention remains on your breath or something else other then the voice or emotion in your head/body.

[Kross]

On 9/22/2022 at 0:21 AM, Leo Gura said:

You just have to slowly build the habit of working and investing in yourself.

And you want to visualize positive things. Don't let your mind think negatively by filling it with positive stuff you look forward to creating.

@Leo Gura How do I suddenly start doing that when I've been trying since I was like 15....and now I'm 21. I'm starting to feel a bit hopeless now, whereas I used to be ridiculously optimistic before. Also, I can't seem to stop comparing myself with so many people now in almost every aspect of life, even though jealousy was a non-existent issue for me before. 

Edited October 22, 2022 by Kross

[universe]

Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can take some time. In meditation you learn how to observe the mind, becoming conscious of your thoughts. Step by step try to implement it in your day. Be gentle with yourself.

This is about increasing your awareness.

You are still quite young and comparing yourself with others is the norm for most people even decades older than you.

This is another stage you will go through in your journey.

Don't resist it, just learn to be with it and let it go when the time has come.

[integral]

Take 100% responsibility for your life.

https://youtu.be/GfF7EpHXyDY

 

Edited October 23, 2022 by integral

[Leo Gura]

On 10/22/2022 at 0:30 PM, Kross said:

@Leo Gura How do I suddenly start doing that when I've been trying since I was like 15....and now I'm 21. I'm starting to feel a bit hopeless now, whereas I used to be ridiculously optimistic before. Also, I can't seem to stop comparing myself with so many people now in almost every aspect of life, even though jealousy was a non-existent issue for me before. 

Stop asking how, and just do it.

[King Merk]

It helped me to read books on others who have had much hard lives than me.

That’s huge for breaking victim mentality

Look into the books “man’s search for meaning” and “can’t hurt me”

Your problems seem a lot smaller when you’re comparing them to those of a holocaust survivor 

[flowboy]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Stop asking how, and just do it.

This is key.

Something I also took a while to grasp and am still falling into sometimes.

All these thoughts of "how do I..", attempts to figure it out, are sneaky escapes from the discomfort of action.